On the Rocks: Chapter One
by contrite shadow
Summary: Alternative beginning to "Fifty Shades, Darker"; Ana left Christian three weeks ago and they haven't spoken since. #7651 On the Rocks; a mid-tone gray by Sherwin Williams. If you like this one, the story continues in my fic "Pebble Beach".
1. Chapter 1

Author's note: Started writing this after a friend lent me Fifty Shades (which, of course, I devoured overnight) and I couldn't get my hands on the next two books for a while. Have now read all three and am a little uncomfortable with a couple of too-close similarities and errors that I unwittingly committed. But have decided to leave them in. If you want more, let me know. I write for me, but I post for you.

Oh, this chapter is really rated T. But the rest, in-progress story is definitely MA.

* * *

On the Rocks: Chapter One

It's been three weeks since she left him; three weeks of struggling through each day as if she actually has the will to do so, then crying herself to sleep every night and enduring dreams in which her tortured psyche reminds her what she's missing, only to wake just before release, gasping and soaked in sweat and then curl up in a fetal position to begin her grieving anew.

Terrified, at first, that he wouldn't be able to let her go, Ana is now becoming convinced that she'll never see Christian Grey again. After all, it's not like they move in the same social circles. Their meeting was an accident, their relationship devastating, in every sense of the word, and it's ending perhaps inevitable.

Incredible then, that the very morning Ana again wipes her tears from her face and finally resolves to get on with her life, she answers the doorbell to see Taylor standing there. Too shocked to speak, only her eyes manage to function as they eagerly scan for any sign of Christian. With obvious sincerity and evident regret, Taylor reveals, "I'm alone, ma'am." And then he holds out a manila envelope and says, "From Mr. Grey, ma'am. He asks that you be kind enough to read it and let him know if it meets with your approval. I'm to wait, in case you have any immediate response."

Still too shocked to say anything, Ana takes the envelope with only slightly trembling fingers and, knowing who drafted it, automatically clutches it to her chest. When the ability to function reaches her vocal cords, she manages to say, "Thank you, Taylor."

"You're welcome, Miss Steele."

Ana's hands are poised to open the envelope when she can no longer stop herself from asking, "How is he?"

The flicker of pain on Taylor's usually inscrutable face is answer enough and Ana's heart almost rips open when he sadly shakes his head and says, "Not well." After a moment's hesitation, he asks, "May I speak, ma'am?"

Terrified of what he might say, Ana nevertheless trusts the man's compassion enough to say, "Please."

After another moment choosing his words, Taylor says, "He's not coping. But he _will_ recover. I know what…loyalty Mr. Grey inspires in those close to him. But you need…forgive my bluntness, but you need to make sure that any decision you make is yours alone, or you'll end up leaving him again and I'm not sure…I don't think he'd recover a second time."

It's more words than he's ever said to her before; more than Ana thought he was capable of and she swallows her surprise before saying, "I always make my own decisions. That's part of the problem; he wants to make them for me. I can't live like that." With a small shrug and a sad smile, she concludes, "And he can't live without it."

His voice kind, Taylor says, "I think he would consider it, for you." Ana is still reeling from this declaration by a man who knows Christian very well when Taylor continues, "The trouble is that he's never been in love before, so…"

Ana can't let that lie stand and interrupts with, "He's _not_ in love with me."

Taylor's smile is close to Christian's; the one that hints at secrets, when he insists, "Whether or not he knows it, he _does_ love you…or as close to it as I've ever seen in him, anyway. And it terrifies him. So he's perhaps holding the reins a little tighter than usual." This choice of words reminds Ana of the other reasons why it could never work with Christian; the reasons that required her signing a NDA, and she can't help a smile at the comparison. With a small smile of his own, revealing that he does in fact know his boss very well, Taylor continues, "But he really did try to be what you need. I've never known him to even make an effort with anyone else."

When he doesn't continue, Ana nods her acceptance of his words, then smiles and says, "He wouldn't approve of you telling me this."

Taylor mirrors her smile and says, "Not at all, ma'am. So it's just as well that you'll never mention it to him."

With only a nod to seal their conspiracy, Ana then finds the strength to open the envelope. As expected, it's another contract, proving that Christian's definition of "more" is still very far removed from hers. With a sad sigh, Ana turns over the title page, determined to at least read what he's bothered to write. When the next page is blank, she assumes it's a mistake and turns another page. It, too, is blank…they're all blank, except for the last page that contains only Christian's signature. Unshed tears already stinging her eyes, Ana holds out the pages for Taylor to read and says, "What am I going to do with him?"

Taylor takes a few seconds to scan the "contract" and then offers a wry grin before saying, "It would appear, ma'am, whatever you wish."

The tears fall as Ana says, "Except that he doesn't really mean it."

His tone clearly chastising, Taylor insists, "In all the time I've known Mr. Grey, he's never put his signature to anything that he hasn't seriously considered, and I've never known him to break a contract…of any sort." He gives Ana a moment to dry her eyes and compose herself, then asks, "Any answer, ma'am?"

Ana considers his words and then says, "Please thank him and tell him that he's given me a lot to think about."

For a moment, Taylor's mask of stoicism slips enough to express disappointment, but he merely bows slightly and says, "Yes, Miss Steele."

He's already turning to leave when Ana's will fails her and she whispers, "And that I miss him."

Taylor has heard her plea and turns back to offer a huge smile before saying, "Yes, ma'am."

* * *

Two days later, after countless more tears and too many hours spent staring at the "contract", Ana is no closer to a decision. She desperately want to discuss it with Christian, but knows only too well that there's no way she'd be able to make a rational decision if she puts herself back under his influence, and irrational decisions is what got her into this mess in the first place. Instead, she decides to sleep on it one more night, vowing to contact him with her decision tomorrow.

The next morning is Saturday. Kate is yet again spending the weekend at Elliot's and, not for the first time, Ana feels a slight pang of jealousy that her best friend has fallen for the Grey who is easy to love. She's trying to find the will to eat when the doorbell chimes. Ana checks the peephole and her legs almost fail her; positioned where she'll see him, Christian is on his knees in the submissive posture, dressed only in jeans, his shoes and t-shirt stowed neatly nearby.

After leaning against the door, until the trembling subsides, Ana looks again to see that he's still there; head bowed and hands resting on his thighs. Shocked that he would go to such lengths just to win her back, Ana is forced to acknowledge a small thrill that the guy who needs to control everything appears willing to give up all control and the wickedest part of her wonders how far she can take it before he breaks. But then she notices that he's lost weight and recalls Taylor's sad admission that Christian isn't coping well without her, so she resolves to remain worthy of such a display of trust.

When Ana opens the door, she sees Christian tense at the sound, his fingers digging into his thighs, but he doesn't look up. Remembering what it's like to be in his position, Ana approaches close enough that he can be reassured by the sight of her bare feet and is impressed by her self-assured tone when she says, "What are you doing here, Christian?" When he ignores her, she's at first confused and then curses her stupidity before saying, "You may speak to answer my questions."

Christian's shoulders sag in relief and, eyes still downcast, he says, "Trying, Miss Steele."

After a moment to recover from the shock of hearing his lovely voice, Ana says, "Yes, you're very trying, Mr. Grey." She watches him relax even further and the ghost of a smile appears on his lips before Christian banishes it and waits for her next move. Though Christian's car is not visible from where they are, Ana makes an intuitive leap and calls out, "Taylor!"

As if by magic, the man in question appears and nervously says, "Yes, Miss Steele?"

Ana can practically feel Christian's dismay that his gambit has apparently failed, so she doesn't hesitate to tell Taylor, "He'll call you when we're done."

Taylor manages to keep his delight from everything but his eyes when he bows and says, "Yes, ma'am."

After the chauffer/personal shopper/whatever-else-Christian-needs is gone, Ana considers how best to proceed without torturing Christian too much, whilst being careful to remain detached enough to make the right decision for both of them. Eventually, she says, "Don't look at me unless I request it and don't move until I command it. If you break the rules, I'll go inside and you'll never see me again. Do you understand?"

Christian tenses again and audibly swallows, then succinctly declares, "Yes, Miss Steele."

Satisfied that he believes her, Ana says, "Am I to understand, from the terms of the new contract, that I'm now in charge?"

Without hesitation, Christian says, "Yes, ma'am." And then he pushes the rules enough to add, "As always."

Ana is reminded yet again of her mother's advice; that men are literal creatures and then recalls Christian's insistence that, despite appearances, the Sub is also in control. Thinking back over their short time together, she's forced to admit that anything unpleasant she endured at Christian's hands could have been halted or prevented by one word from her.

Ana only realizes how long she's been standing there, lost in thought, when Christian tries to surreptitiously ease his cramped muscles. So she smiles and says, "Have you been neglecting your physical fitness, Mr. Grey?"

Startled at being caught out, Christian then relaxes at her playful tone and ruefully confesses, "I've been neglecting everything, Miss Steele."

Suddenly very glad that she insisted he doesn't look at her, Ana struggles for a few seconds to keep from weeping at the pain in Christian's voice. When her emotions are once more under her tenuous control, Ana realizes something is amiss and says, "Why did you leave your jeans on?"

Squirming and blushing, Christian confesses, "I, uh, dressed in such a hurry that I forgot underwear and decided that your front stoop is too public a venue for naked supplication."

Now struggling not to laugh, Ana says, "And if I asked you to remove them?"

Her teasing backfires when Christian, lust practically dripping from his voice, declares, "I sincerely hope you do, Miss Steele."

Gasping at the strength of her sudden need for him, Ana feels her control rapidly evaporating. After a moment to calm her suddenly erratic breathing, she manages to instill authority into her voice and says, "Have you forgotten the rules already, Mr. Grey?"

Christian tenses at her harsh tone and straightens his posture as he says, "No, Miss Steele."

Confident that he'll now behave himself, Ana decides that it's cards-on-the-table time and says, "I'm going inside for a minute, but I'll be back, okay?"

Christian's sudden fear is palpable, but he only says, "Yes, Miss Steele."

Ana retrieves the "contract" from her bedroom. Before returning to Christian, she can't help another peek to see if he's remaining in character. Sure enough, he's exactly where she left him; Mr. Control Freak is on his knees, ready to try anything she wishes rather than live without her. And it occurs to Ana that, if this isn't love, it's pretty damn close.

After giving herself time to recover from his revelation, Ana leaves the house and once again stands where Christian can see her feet. She then glances over her notes, hastily scrawled down on the blank pages sometime around 3am last night and says, "If I come back, and I haven't yet decided, the terms of our original, revised contract would stand, along with a few changes." Despite the fact that she can't see his face, Christian's sudden, rapt attention is almost tangible, so Ana knows that he's genuinely interested in what she has to say, and she plunges in with the scariest issues when she continues, "If we get back together, I would continue to defy you, because I can't be someone I'm not. And, when you feel that I've committed a transgression, you'd punish me, because you can't be someone _you're_ not. But never with anything harsher than your hand." Ana's heart is in her throat when she then asks, "Do you agree to this?"

As if he'd only been waiting for permission to speak, Christian says, with obvious relief, "Wholeheartedly, Miss Steele."

At first concerned that his reply was a little too quick, Ana then realizes that, just like her, Christian has probably spent the past few weeks thinking about what went wrong and how to make it right. Now satisfied that Christian means exactly what he said, she moves on, saying, "The three weekends out of four at your place would stand, as would the substitute Wednesday on the off-week. But it would be here and we would have vanilla sex before sleeping together in my bed overnight. Agreed?"

Again, Christian doesn't hesitate and answers, "Agreed, Miss Steele."

Beginning to enjoy herself, Ana says, "My continued obedience in the playroom would continue, with the following amendments; you may, at any time, use the word 'playtime' and I will cede control until you release me." Christian's sudden, shocked gasp confirms that she's has managed to surprise him yet again. Ana can practically hear his brilliant mind working as he considers the possibilities of such a concession on her part. When, after several seconds, it's obvious that he wants to say something, Ana says, "You may speak to ask for clarification of my conditions."

With an audible sigh of relief, Christian says, "Any time, Miss Steele?"

Smiling at his eager tone, Ana confirms, "Any time, Mr. Grey."

When Christian again looks like he want to say something, Ana realizes that she's already tiring of her role as Dom and wearily says, "Just talk to me, Christian."

Christian almost looks at her then, but remembers his place and prompts, "The other amendments, Miss Steele?"

"Just one; in the playroom, and during playtime, there would be no limits other than those you choose."

Sounding almost like his old, bossy self, Christian says, "The limits are there for you protection, Miss Steele. Without them there's a risk that I'd push you too far and really hurt you…again."

Though he can't see the gesture, Ana shakes her head and says, "You won't."

Only when she notices her slip from conditional tense does Ana realize that she's made her decision. It's obvious that Christian has noticed it too, because he's actually trembling in anticipation of what might happen next when he says, "Thank you, Miss Steele."

Suddenly, Ana needs to touch him. Mindful of Christian's own limits, she says, "The first safe word and its purpose?"

Clearly confused, Christian says, "Yellow; so that you'll know when it's becoming too intense."

"Second safe word and purpose?"

Now sounding confused _and_ afraid, Christian says, "Red; to let you know when something is beyond my endurance."

Ana moves to stand behind him. As she does so, Christian's head turns to follow the movement. But he chooses trust once again and quickly returns his gaze to the front. Now that his trembling has subsided, the only evidence that Christian is struggling to cope with the role reversal is the fact that his hands, still splayed across his thighs, are white from clutching his legs. So Ana decides to make the exercise as quick and painless as possible. At the same time, she's still convinced that Christian is mistaken about knowing his limits and knows that this might be her one and only opportunity to test her theory. So, once she's standing behind him, her voice is clear and confident when she says, "I'm going to touch you now."

Despite her convictions, Ana almost changes her mind when a shudder of revulsion ripples across Christian's bare shoulders. But he says nothing, only nodding that he's understood, so she eases into it by first stretching out one trembling hand to run her fingers through his hair. After so long without him, just that contact alone is almost enough to bring her to climax and Ana wonders if her own, lusty limits will let her conclude the lesson. For his part, Christian manages to control his reactions. Reassured that he's okay, Ana says, "Unless you stop me, I'm going to touch your shoulders now."

Other than another shudder of disgust or fear at the idea, Christian's only response is a tremulous, "Yes, Miss Steele."

Deeply moved by his continued display of unadulterated trust, Ana's voice is a little unsteady when she says, "Christian, this is by far the sexiest thing you've ever done for me."

Though she can't see his face, Ana can hear the smile in his voice when Christian says, "And now you begin to understand."

Though he can't see it, Ana answers with a smile of her own and then lays her hands, feather-light, on both his shoulders. Without knowing the details, she understands that it's the little boy in him that makes Christian gasp and start trembling anew. Only then does she notice the few scars on his back, similar to those on his chest and gains another, shocking insight into why being touched fills Christian with dread. Suddenly feeling physically ill at putting him through such an ordeal, even though she believes it to be for his own good, Ana has a moment of clarity and says, "Did you feel sick when you realized how much you'd hurt me…after the beating?"

With her hands on him, Ana can both see and feel Christian's relief at her empathy and gasps, "Yes…yes, Miss Steele."

Keeping her hands immobile on his shoulders, Ana gives them both a few seconds to recover, until even the little boy relaxes and Christian stops trembling. And then she says, "I'm going to slide my hands down to your chest now. Why am I doing this?"

After thinking about it, Christian haltingly says, "Because…even though you gave your permission, I breached the terms of our informal contract by using the belt when I suspected it would prove more than you could endure."

Pleased to hear him admit his role in the dissolution of trust between them, Ana says, "This isn't punishment, Christian. Try again. Why am I doing this?"

Christian shakes his head a little in confusion and is quiet for several seconds before confessing, "I…I'm sorry, Miss Steele. I have no idea."

Ana smiles and says, "I don't know what you're paying that shrink, but it's too much." Hoping to distract him with her voice, Ana slides her hands to his chest as she explains, "I'm doing this because, in your own words, you're fifty shades of fucked-up and you need to lose a few or we don't stand a chance, okay?"

Still unable to stop his skin from twitching under her touch, Christian makes no move to stop her caress and breathlessly agrees, "Yes, Miss Steele."

Standing behind him, stooped slightly to gently rest her hands on his chest, Ana ponders how best to distract Christian from his abhorrence of being touched and says, "I've got a few more conditions to discuss with you, but do you have any questions so far?"

Christian hesitates before asking, "Have you…been with anyone else since you left?"

Ana smiles and says, "I give you permission to ask me anything and _that's_ what you want to know?"

Reassured by her tone, Christian shrugs and says, "Fifty shades."

Ana chuckles and then notices that Christian's skin has finally relaxed as she says, "No, Mr. Grey, you're the only man I'll ever have sex with; vanilla or any other flavor."

Suddenly, Ana is in his lap, stunned at how fast and strong he is, despite having seen evidence of it before today. Christian's face is nestled against her neck and he's murmuring her name over and over, even as one hand works at removing her pajamas. Before her body's response to his wrenches all control from her, Ana manages to exclaim, "No!"

Christian's response isn't quite immediate, but it's pretty close and he lifts his head to look at her, pain and confusion all over his beautiful face as he breathlessly says, "But…you just said…Ana, please."

Despite the fact that she has to clench her fists to keep from replying in kind to his affection, Ana's will remembers what's at stake and she simply repeats, "No."

Shocked at her defiance, Christian releases Ana, even helping her to stand, though he stays on his knees and then rather formally says, "I apologize, Miss Steele, I misunderstood. It won't happen again."

Even though she somehow found the strength to resist him, Ana knows that she couldn't do it twice, and they haven't really resolved anything. So she heads for her door as she says, "You're not ready, Christian. We'll continue this conversation via email."

As she walks away, Christian's voice is strained when he again pleads, "Ana, please."

Far enough from him to again think clearly, Ana is now certain that she's doing the right thing and says, "Go home, Christian. I'll talk to you soon."

Ana's hand is on the door when, sounding as if it's literally being torn from him, Christian cries out, "Red!"

Shocked that he would so readily admit defeat, Ana turns to see that Christian's head is bowed down almost to his knees as he murmurs, "Red…red."

Unable to tolerate being the cause of such suffering, Ana almost goes to him then. But she remembers Taylor's caution and knows that she has to get this right if she and Christian are to have any future together. So she tenderly says, "Look at me."

Obviously surprised that she hasn't again fled from him, Christian's head snaps up and he now really does look like a little boy as he offers a small, grateful smile and says, "Yes, Miss Steele."

Not brave enough to approach him, because not even Ana is strong enough to withstand that boyish grin, she stays put and says, in awe, "You didn't use the safe word even when I touched your chest."

Though it wasn't really a question, Christian says, "No, Miss Steele."

Finally unable to stop herself from moving a little closer, Ana takes two steps towards him and frowns slightly in confusion as she says, "But…Christian, you _hate_ being touched."

Christian breathes a sigh of relief that she understands that much and then says, "Yes, Miss Steele."

Ana considers for a moment and then says, "So…the only thing you cannot endure is not being with me?"

Christian frowns in confusion and says, "I thought I'd made that very clear, Miss Steele."

Ana thinks back over everything that's happened since she literally fell at his feet and soon realizes that, in fact, Christian has repeatedly expressed his need for her. But, given his appetite for sex, she'd assumed it was merely a physical need. So she smiles and says, "Yes, I guess you have." With a long sigh, releasing all her mistrust of him, Ana gestures to the papers where she dropped them on the ground and orders, "Look them over and tell me if you have a problem with anything there."

Without standing, Christian does as bid and, only seconds later, looks up and says, "I agree, in principal, to all your terms."

Suspicious of how quickly he scanned the pages, and wary of his phrasing, Ana says, "In _principal_?"

Christian dares a smile and says, "Your fifth clause states that I'm to stop buying first class tickets for you. I'm content to concede that when you're travelling alone. But I hope you don't expect me to travel coach, just because you have a problem with me spending money on you?"

Confused, Ana says, "We're going to travel together?"

With genuine affection, Christian says, "Oh, Anastasia, I'm going to show you the world."

Ana tries to stop her reaction to those words in _that_ tone of voice, but her body betrays her and the unmistakable signs of arousal put a smug smile on Christian's face. Blushing and struggling to maintain some semblance of calm, Ana says, "Anything else?"

Trying, and failing, to keep the smirk from his face, Christian says, "Your eighth clause states that I'm to allow you an occasional weekend away from me for family functions. I'm okay with that, in principal, but I'd rather come with you; not for stalking purposes, rather because I like your parents and would enjoy getting to know them better."

Now it's Ana's turn to be shocked and her mouth drops open for a second before she recovers and says, "You like my family?"

A little confused, Christian smiles slightly and says, "Of course. Didn't it seem like I enjoyed their company?"

Still reeling a little, Ana says, "Well, yes. But…I thought that was just an act?"

More amused than offended, Christian smiles and says, "And haven't I repeatedly stressed the importance of honesty in our relationship?"

Of course, he's right again and Ana smiles before admitting, "Yes, you have." Finally convinced that maybe they have a chance after all, Ana says, "So, you're not wearing boxers?"

Without knowing why she's asking, Christian's eyes nevertheless gleam with ardent pleasure at the sudden change in topic and his voice is rich with desire as he replies, "No, Miss Steele, no boxers."

Satisfied that she has a sufficient head start, Ana pulls down the waistband of her pajamas enough to reveal that she's wearing a borrowed pair of his Calvin Kleins and says, "If you catch me before I get to my bedroom, you can have these back." Ana waits long enough for his eyes to darken with desire as comprehension sinks in, and then she takes off running as Christian springs to his feet.

In fact, despite having been on his knees for almost an hour, Christian catches Ana before she gets three strides inside her apartment, knocking the wind out of her as he tackles her to the floor. Having somehow managed to control their fall enough that Ana lands on top of him, Christian still frowns in concern and says, "You okay?"

With the smile that only Christian has ever seen, Ana says, "I am now." And then, when Christian's entire face expresses his joy at having her back in his arms, she marvels at her own strength; that she could have lived without seeing that dazzling smile for three whole weeks.


	2. Chapter 2

Author's note: Overwhelmed by the incredible response to Chapter One. If I didn't reply, it's not because I don't appreciate your words, rather because they kept on coming in as I was catching up and I got confused. Thank you.

Okay, I can write "baby", even though I loathe that particular term of endearment. But I can't bring myself to seriously write "Inner Goddess", sorry. Despite that, I hope you enjoy this one.

* * *

On the Rocks: Chapter Two

When Ana then starts removing her t-shirt, Christian chuckles and says, "Eager as ever, Anastasia?"

The sound of her full name from his lips makes Ana's breath catch and then she says, "No…well, yes. But I thought you might want it. Your shirt is still outside."

Already caressing her body, Christian uses his other hand to stop Ana's progress while her arms are above her head and the tee is wrapped around her elbows, rather effectively and delightfully restricting movement. And then he smiles and says, "You think that I'd fuck you while wearing a Hello Kitty t-shirt?"

Everything about that sentence, and the way he says it, makes Ana blush down to her toes and she stammers, "No, I, uh…because you don't like me touching you, I just thought…"

Unable to wait, to see if there'll ever be an end to the sentence, Christian silences Ana with his mouth on hers. After three weeks without her touch, her taste and her indomitable spirit, the experience is even better than he remembers and Ana matches his hunger until he finally ends the kiss with one hand cupping her chin; lips bruised, his entire body aflame and his dick aching for release.

But the same control that makes him an extremely successful businessman also makes him an expert lover and Christian chooses not to immediately answer the raw, wanton look of expectation on Ana's face by taking her right away. Instead, he grins and says, "I've got a better idea."

Of course, Ana is smart enough to deduce the reason behind the sudden, wicked gleam in his eye and protests, "No, please, Christian. I've been literally dreaming about this for three weeks. Let's just fuck."

Her no doubt calculated use of that particular profanity makes Christian's dick harden even more. And, though he has control of her arms and mouth, he can't stop her from grinding against him, hoping to speed things along. Before she's once again in control, Christian's grin widens and he says, "Playtime."

Not that he really doubted her resolve, but Christian's breath catches in delighted surprise when Ana immediately stops writhing, sighs a little in resigned acceptance of being caught in a trap of her own making and says only, "Yes, Sir."

That feeling, right there, when the strongest woman he's ever met gives in to him unreservedly, trusting him to take care of both their needs; if he could just explain how that makes him feel, she'd never defy him again…or maybe she would. Of course, the very fact that Christian can't ever be certain of Ana makes her irresistible to him, and makes these moments of total surrender all the sweeter.

Christian only realizes that he's been lost in thought for several seconds when Ana's brow crinkles in confusion. So he smiles and says, "Deciding what to do with you. I didn't exactly come here with a plan."

Ana smiles at that and says, "I thought you planned everything?"

When the flicker of fear then passes over her face, Christian doesn't know enough to upset and calmly asks, "What is it?"

Too proud or stubborn to beg forgiveness, Ana keeps her unwavering gaze on his when she says, "I stopped taking the pill when I left you."

Only then does Christian accept that Ana really had no intention of ever returning to him. Of course, intellectually he'd comprehended that she meant it. But this cold terror, deep in his belly, confirms that he'd never really believed that she'd be able to stay away forever. However, none of this plays out on his face and he simply closes his eyes as he says, "Fuck! I didn't bring condoms."

When he opens his eyes, Ana has a quiet smile on her face and says, "Wow, you really did dress in a hurry." Christian guesses that his irritation must be evident on his face, because Ana hastily adds, "Sir."

Too relieved that she's once again in his arms, to really be angry, Christian grins and says, "If I didn't have plans for your smart mouth, we'd finally find out how much you enjoy being gagged."

Ana's eyes widen in delight and then she realizes something and says, "Bathroom! Kate always has spare condoms."

Quite literally thrilled that he'll get to reclaim her body after all, Christian keeps the joy from his voice as he finally slides the t-shirt off her arms, releasing her, and says only, "Get them."

As Ana leaps to do his bidding, Christian can't help a smile at her enthusiasm. She would never make a good Sub, but there can be no doubting her willingness to please. He sits up, flexing his aching right shoulder to make sure he didn't do much damage when he tackled Ana and uses the free time to decide what to teach her today.

When Ana returns only seconds later and silently hands over the box of apparently flavored condoms, her eyes are shining with desire and Christian has to look away or risk losing control enough to immediately need the contents. After checking the packaging date, he says, "These will do. Find a few things that will suffice as bindings and a blindfold, then lay them neatly on your bed and wait for me inside the door."

Christian doesn't need to look at Ana to know that her expression is a mixture of excited arousal and a little fear at what he might have in store for her. However, when he looks up at her, Ana's wanton look has vanished and she's nervously biting her lip in the way that drives all but carnal thoughts from his mind. When he raises one eyebrow in question, Ana hesitates a second and then says, "Will you punish me today?"

Christian feels a small thrill that she still appears willing to submit to punishment, given her distaste for the entire process and deliberately pauses a few seconds before saying, "You left me."

For a moment, it seems like Ana is going to roll her eyes at him. But she curbs that particular annoying habit and says, "I left you _because_ of the punishments."

Unwilling, perhaps even unable to articulate why he needs to correct any sign on rebellion on her part, Christian shrugs and repeats, "You left me."

Worryingly, Ana's expression is again closed to him as she considers the matter and Christian begins to wonder if she's changed her mind about the first clause of their new contract. But then Ana nods once as she makes her decision and says, "Could we please do it now, so that I can stop stressing about it?"

Christian considers denying her that concession. After all, waiting for the blows increases both the punishment and the pleasure, for both parties. But the sight of Ana wearing only pajama pants and his boxers, politely asking to be spanked, makes him feel good in a way that he's only experienced when with her. So he wordlessly gets up off the floor and sits on the sofa. When Ana also wordlessly removes the pants and boxers, then lies across his lap, her exquisite naked ass in the air, it takes every ounce of restraint Christian has to not take her right then and there. But he remembers what is important and puts one hand firmly on the back of Ana's neck while he gently caresses her ass with the other, then says, "Why are you being punished?"

Ana's voice trembles only slightly when she says, "Because I left you."

Knowing that she can't see his face, Christian permits himself a slight smile as he says, "And why will it only be three blows?"

Ana squirms a little in surprise and says, "Because I came back to you?"

Christian says, "Exactly." As he delivers the first blow, he's surprised when he doesn't use all his strength. Somehow this willful woman is slowly eroding the emotional control that has kept him safe and sane all these years. However, as he tenderly caresses her already pink buttocks before the second blow, Christian is forced to admit that maybe some erosion was necessary. Things are certainly more interesting with Ana in his life despite, or perhaps because of, the almost daily challenges.

It's only on the third blow that Christian notices the slick moisture on his hand and realizes Ana is so ready for him that even the tops of her thighs, and now her butt cheeks, are wet. Unable to suppress a moan, his hand is already straying between her legs as he says, "Christ, Ana, you couldn't wait for me?"

He can hear the laughter in her voice when Ana says, "Mr. Grey, I've been doing little else."

It's too much and Christian's will finally snaps. Struggling to maintain a shred of self-control, he easily lifts Ana so that she's perched astride his knees and, as he gives in to pure desire, growls, "Hands on my shoulders."

Ana's eyes widen in response to this order, and the slight parting of her lips as her breath quickens proves that she's turned on by Christian's faith in her. For his part, Christian is surprised that, as her hands alight on his shoulders while he unbuttons his jeans and finally releases his cock, he's not immediately filled with rage; the normal reaction to such contact. The ancient memories stirred up by the simple gesture are not fun, but it's tolerable and he shakes his head in wonder as he says, "You're destroying me, Miss Steele."

While Christian eases his jeans off his hips, Ana is wearing only a knowing smile as she grips his shoulders for balance and says, "Maybe I'm restoring you, Mr. Grey."

When Christian reclines and lifts Ana under the shoulders to hold her above his thighs, kicking off his jeans as he does so, he can't help a deep rumble of laughter and then says, "Maybe you are." Ana anticipates him and selects one of the condoms. Christian smiles at her choice and says, "All those flavors to choose from and you go for vanilla?"

Still looking incredibly pleased with herself, Ana confidently fits the condom, shrugs and says, "I like vanilla."

Joy bubbling up as laughter in his voice, Christian says, "I'm developing a taste for it, myself." And then he suddenly comprehends the reason behind Ana's smug smile and feels almost proud of her when he accuses, "You played me."

On seeing that he's not angry, Ana's smile broadens and then she says, "Yes. I gambled that you wouldn't be able to wait once you got your hands on my ass."

About to lower Ana onto his cock, Christian instead holds her just above him, his injured shoulder trembling slightly at the effort, and murmurs, "I should have guessed that today's lesson would be about control."

When Christian loses his smile and puts Ana down so that she's sitting across his thighs, Ana removes her hands from his shoulders, then looks hurt and confused as she says, "Christian?"

Her eyes widen in fear when Christian too calmly says, "Remind me of the conditions of your 'playtime' clause."

With a resigned sigh, admitting both fault and defeat, Ana says, "That I cede control to you until you release me."

"And have you done that?"

Her face quickly becoming a picture of anguish, Ana says, "Christian, do you honestly intend to administer another beating because I missed you so much that I couldn't wait to have sex with you?"

With a sad smile, Christian says, "Anastasia, you have no idea what a beating feels like." And then he sighs and explains, "It's not about crime and punishment; it's…I need to stay in control."

For once hiding nothing from him, Ana's expression is one of concern and confusion when she says, "But _why_ do you need to control me? What do you think I'm going to do to you?"

With her thoughts finally open to him, Christian sees the beginning of comprehension when he says, "It's _me_ I need to control. What would have happened when I was on my knees earlier, if you hadn't kept your emotions under check?"

Christian wonders if she's ever looked more beautiful when Ana frowns and unconsciously takes her bottom lip between her teeth as she seriously considers his words. After a few seconds she grins and says, "Well, we would have already had sex three times by now."

Christian can't help a smile at that and protests, "Three times, Anastasia? I'm not a machine."

Eyes iridescent with joy, Ana glances at his still prominent erection and says, "No?" But then she sobers and proves that she's understood him when she asks, "So, what happens if you lose control?"

Not yet ready to share the darkness with her, Christian clenches his jaw and then simply says, "Nothing good."

Ana only nods, as if she were expecting such an answer and says, "I'm sorry, Mr. Grey."

Too pleased that she's making such an effort at understanding him, to really be angry, Christian says, "For what, Miss Steele?"

Without hesitation, Ana says, "For trying to manipulate you when only this morning I agreed to follow your instructions during playtime."

Already forgiving her, Christian smiles and leans back with his hands behind his head as he says, "Just how sorry are you?"

When Ana's eyes darken with lascivious intent, Christian knows that she's understood him even before she moves to kneel between his legs as she says, "_Very_ sorry, Mr. Grey."

Too inexperienced to know what will happen when she touches her lips to him, Ana giggles in surprise when his dick bucks in response to her touch. Christian laughs at her reaction and says, "You need to use a firm hand."

So Ana does exactly that, gently stroking her hand up and down the length of him as she asks, "Personal motto?"

Closing his eyes, as the waves of pleasure spread through his body, Christian says, "Something like that." His eyes fly open when he feels Ana remove the condom and he says, "Uh, I haven't had a shower yet."

Ana only smiles and says, "I know."

Satisfied that, just like him, she doesn't give a damn about such things, Christian grins and says, "I thought you liked vanilla?"

Discarding the condom, Ana says, "I like you more."

The subtext contained in those few words almost overwhelms Christian with unfamiliar, undeniably powerful feelings and, his voice barely above a whisper, he says, "I've missed your smart mouth."

Her warm breath on the tip of his cock, Ana declares, "It missed you, too."

All rational thoughts are driven from Christian's head as Ana's mouth closes around him, again working the length of him. When she uses her free hand to cup and caress his balls, a groan of pleasure is torn from Christian's throat and, knowing that she was a virgin when they met, he says, "God, Ana. How can you know to do that?" Of course, she doesn't answer and Christian closes his eyes, luxuriating in the feeling of Ana experimenting with what gives him pleasure. All too soon, Christian knows that it's about to be over, so he stills Ana's movements with his fingers entwined in her hair and manages to articulate, "Enough."

Ana looks up, a little confused and says, "Am I doing it wrong?"

With a bark of laughter, Christian releases her and says, "No, baby, you're doing it far too well. But I have plans for the rest of you, too."

Without a word, Ana rips open another condom and rolls it onto him, then hesitates a second to see what Christian wants from her next. When he puts his hands under her shoulders and lifts a little, Ana smiles her gratitude and climbs up onto the sofa. As she kneels astride him, Christian slides his hands down her body and guides her onto him. They share a gasp of pleasure at the renewed acquaintance between their bodies and Ana breathes, "Seems like every part of me has missed you."

Content to let Ana set the pace, Christian slides his hands to her back and pulls her towards him as he says, "You talk too much, Miss Steele."

Careful to avoid touching him, Ana grips the back of the sofa while she slowly rides him and, as Christian's lips close around one nipple, she gasps, "Yes, Mr. Grey."

Thinking that he'll probably never get tired of giving Ana pleasure, Christian expertly teases one nipple with his mouth while he caresses the other with one hand. Almost lost in the delicious feel of her body moving against his, Christian is aware enough to sense when Ana is about to climax. So he draws back to watch her face and grasps her hips, holding her a little above him as he thrusts upwards, slamming into her. Ana's strangled moan of pain and pleasure confirms that she's close to her first orgasm in three weeks. So Christian almost withdraws and then sets up a powerful rhythm, pounding into her as he rushes towards his own release. Somehow he manages to maintain enough control to wait for Ana's beautiful face to stretch in a mask of ecstasy as her muscles contract around his cock. Only then does Christian relax and let go, holding himself deep inside her as the white-hot pleasure envelops him.

As they come down from their respective highs, Ana murmurs, "God, I think I'm going to faint."

Christian chuckles at first, pleased that she enjoyed herself, but then he notices that Ana is ashen-faced. Suddenly concerned for her health, he demands, "When was the last time you ate?"

His suspicions are confirmed when a flash of guilt passes over Ana's face before she says, "Yesterday."

"When yesterday?"

Christian immediately regrets the question when Ana's expression again closes down and her chin juts out in defiance as she says, "Control of my diet has never been part of our deal, Mr. Grey."

Frustrated with her attitude, when all he wants to do is look after her, Christian runs one hand through his hair and says, "For fuck's sake, Ana. I'm just trying to keep you from passing out."

Relaxing somewhat at his words, Ana says, "Then perhaps you shouldn't have used such an imperious tone."

Genuinely surprised that he'd done so, Christian lifts Ana off his cock and cradles her to him as he chuckles and says, "Sorry; force of habit. You'll have to remind me when I'm doing that." And then he rather formally asks, "Would you care to join me for breakfast, Miss Steele?"

Now smiling again, Ana says, "Is playtime over?"

Returning the smile, Christian shakes his head and says, "Let's call it intermission. As I already told you, I prefer my playmates conscious."


	3. Chapter 3

Author's Note: Again, overwhelmed by the response to my little story, thank you. I'm unused to such attention. But I'm learning to like it. By lucky coincidence, counted just how many alerts I'd received last night, to find that it was exactly fifty. More since then, but I remembered to savor the moment.

This one is short, but (hopefully) sweet.

* * *

On the Rocks: Chapter Three

Relieved that they're still at ease with each other, and having seen Christian do it several times already, Ana slides the condom off him and picks up the other before heading to the trash can. They're both smiling as they wash their hands at the kitchen sink. Ana opens the pantry, saying, "I usually just have granola and a glass of orange juice. That okay with you?"

His warm tone indicating that he hasn't yet had enough of her body, Christian says, "For now."

Gasping as his voice causes the muscles in her groin to tighten, Ana stammers, "Uh…and would you like a dollop of yoghurt with that?"

Running his index finger along his bottom lip as he considers her words, Christian says, "Hmm…yoghurt. Yes, I'd like that."

Now with slightly trembling hands at the constant, erotic subtext, Ana isn't brave enough to give him any more ammunition by speaking and prepares two bowls of cereal in silence. Smiling at her obvious discomfort, Christian is also silent until their breakfast is ready and then says only, "Thank you, Miss Steele."

Ana chinks her spoon against his and says, "You're welcome, Mr. Grey."

They eat without another word, but can't resist smiling at each other as they quickly devour the rudimentary meal. Ana almost moans in as yet unfulfilled desire when Christian gulps down his orange juice and then wipes the residual drops from his mouth with the back of one hand, for once apparently oblivious to the effect his actions have on her. And then she's almost undone when there's nothing left for Christian to do but watch her finish, his intense gaze darkening further with longing every time she brings the glass to her lips. It's Christian who finally breaks, growling, "For the love of God, Ana, just finish it."

Mid-sip at his words, Ana splutters as she inhales some juice and coughs for a few seconds before indicating that she's ready to play by saying, "I've had enough, Sir."

After patting her back, to help her recover, Christian smiles that he's understood her message and says, "Then go and do as I asked." When Ana moves to clear the dishes, he orders, "Now."

Ana's eyes are sparkling with excitement as she obeys, saying only, "Yes, Mr. Grey."

Trying, and failing, to contain his glee at her eager participation, Christian says, "Oh, and be wearing the blindfold when I get there."

A fresh spark of exhilaration flares in Ana's eyes as she gasps, "Yes, Sir."

Aware that Ana and Kate don't have a housekeeper, and knowing that every second Ana waits for him will increase her ultimate pleasure, Christian takes the time to wash and dry the few dishes, then fetches his clothes and the paperwork from outside before grabbing the pack of condoms on the way to Ana. When he finally enters her bedroom, she's dutifully in the submissive posture, naked except for what looks like a silk scarf as a blindfold. Ana tilts her head to the side as he enters, trying to gauge his first actions. Christian permits himself a smile at how beautiful she looks on her knees. And then he loses the grin and firmly asks, "Can you see anything?"

Ana's voice trembles only slightly as she says, "No, Sir."

Satisfied that she's telling the truth, Christian's gaze travels over her bed to check what sort of bindings Ana has prepared and he can't help a gasp of surprise when he sees that the only items on the bed are leather belts of various types. Despite the fact that she can't see him, Christian turns to look at Ana in stunned admiration. He knows how much she hated the strap; enough to leave him without any thought of returning. Yet, here she is, proving that she's willing to trust him not to ever hurt her like that again. And, looking at the plethora of leather confirms for Christian that he never will. It's as if that particular compulsion walked out the door with Ana when she left him.

Humbled by her faith in him, Christian kneels before Ana and reaches behind her to untie the blindfold. When he lets the scarf fall to the floor, Ana blinks at the sudden brightness and frowns in confusion as she says, "Christian?"

Surprised, but pleased at how tender his voice sounds, Christian says, "Playtime's over. Come to bed."

Catching on, Ana's brow is now furrowed with concern as she says, "No. It's okay, Christian. I trust you."

Leaning forward enough to place one, gentle kiss on her lips, Christian then stands and offers Ana a helping hand as he says, "I know, baby, and you've no idea what that means to me. But…I don't trust me yet, so come to bed, please."

As if she's never had a defiant thought in her life, Ana smiles and takes his hand as she says, "Yes, Sir."

As they hurriedly get under the covers and into each other's arms, grinning like teenagers, Christian asks, "Why on earth do you own so many leather belts?" When Ana only raises an eyebrow at him, Christian smiles and says, "I know why _I've_ got so many belts. But you don't have that reason."

Ana shrugs and says, "I raided Kate's closet, too."

Christian's eyes widen in surprise and he says, "You're okay with being bound by your friend's apparel while we have sex?"

And now it's Ana's turn to look surprised as she says, "Oh, hadn't actually thought that far ahead. I just wanted you to know that I'm not afraid."

With a knowing smile, Christian says, "Not even a little?"

Realizing that he's right, Ana blushes a little as she says, "Maybe a little. But I know that you'll never deliberately hurt me like that again."

Christian looks distinctly uncomfortable when he softly says, "I know that I don't want to."

Vindicated by the level of sincerity in his voice, Ana declares, "Then you won't."

When Ana starts to sit up, Christian holds her a little tighter, saying, "Going somewhere, Miss Steele?"

Quickly kissing him, Ana reassures, "Not far." When Christian immediately releases her, she retrieves a blue leather belt from the end of the bed and offers it to him, saying, "This one's my favorite."

Smiling at the enthusiasm in her voice, Christian takes the belt and says, "Well, it _does_ match your eyes." And then his gaze is once again nervous as he says, "I need to know what you expect of me, Ana."

"What I expect you to do with the belt?"

"That'll do for today. But we still need to talk about things, because I'm flying blind here and _you_ are my eyes." When Ana only stares at him in open-mouthed shock, he squirms and asks, "What?"

Shaking her head in wonder, Ana says, "You…how can you say stuff like that and still…you overwhelm me."

Christian smiles kindly and says, "I'm the one overwhelmed. Every second I spend with you I'm drowning in feelings that I've never had before. It's both terrifying and wonderful. And you didn't answer my question, Anastasia."

Still reeling a little from his candor, Ana says, "Oh, right, sorry. Uh…today I expect you to restrain my hands with the belt so that you can be confident that I won't touch you."

Absentmindedly twisting the belt through his hands, Christian says, "Is that what you want? Remember, this only works if we're honest with each other."

Cautioned by his words, Ana considers for a few seconds and then says, "I just want to have sex with you. I don't care how we do it. Because, so far, every single time has been incredible."

Eyes shining with exultant pride, Christian says, "Even when I'm rough with you?"

Ana smiles and blushes anew as she admits, "_Especially_ when you're rough, though I like it when you're gentle, too."

Christian drops the belt beside the bed and says, "Maybe it's time for gentle, then." As he draws Ana back into his arms, threading his legs around hers, he pleads, "Don't touch me, okay? Maybe one day, but not today. I couldn't bear it, Ana."

Already reaching up to run her fingers through his hair as Christian's mouth meets hers, Ana shakes her head and vows, "Nothing on the torso, I swear."

Their kiss quickly deepens as passion takes hold. Ana is already becoming lost in the feel of Christian's expert mouth on hers, his tongue's exploration sending jolts of pleasure through her whole body. When his free hand finds her left breast, she moans against his lips and feels an answer in the hardening of his erection against her hip. When Christian ends the kiss, moving his attentions to her neck and throat, Ana's breathing is a little uneven as she gasps, "Yes, gentle is good too."

Ana feels Christian's smile against her collarbone and then he says, "Anastasia, you're insatiable."

Struggling to focus on anything other than his maddeningly gentle caress of her pebble-hard nipple, while his other hand sends sparks of pleasure up and down her spine, Ana murmurs, "Only for you, Christian."

Christian lifts his head a moment to look into her eyes and his old, arrogant self is back when he declares, "Damn right, only for me." But then his gaze softens at the love shining from Ana's eyes and he says, "And I can't seem to get enough of you, either."

Becoming more confident of him, of both of them, together like this, Ana stretches her hands above her head and says, "Prove it, Mr. Grey."

Grinning with glee at the challenge, Christian lifts himself up on one elbow and lowers his lips towards her right breast, while continuing his exquisite torment of her left as he murmurs, "Miss Steele, it would be my genuine pleasure."

Fast becoming lost in pure ecstasy, Ana maintains enough presence of mind to keep her promise and limit her caresses to Christian's glorious, copper hair. She's frustratingly close to climax when Christian suddenly releases her, leaving her confused and bereft. At the look on her face, he chuckles and says, "Trust me."

When Christian quickly rolls on another condom and moves to position himself between her legs, Ana's smile is slightly predatory when she says only, "Okay."

Ana can no longer reach any "safe" part of Christian. So all she can do is watch as he kneels between her thighs and then grabs her hips and excruciatingly slowly drags her up the slope formed by his thighs, until the tip of his erection is resting against her clitoris and she sighs at how…right it feels when they make contact. Looking immensely pleased with himself, Christian says, "Show me what you want, baby."

Delighted to receive permission, Ana doesn't even realize that she actually licks her lips before putting a hand on the one part of his body she's always been allowed to touch and gently stimulating herself with the soft tip of his penis. Smiling at her accurate instincts, Christian sighs his pleasure and extends both hands to caress her breasts, gently rolling her now hyper-sensitive nipples between his fingers. Ana's body unconsciously arches towards him as she far too quickly shudders through an orgasm and hisses, "Christian."

Thrilled that she's becoming confident enough to literally take a hand in their lovemaking, Christian smiles and says, "Yes, Miss Steele? Can I help you with something?"

Fully aware that Christian is mocking her, Ana ignores him until her breathing settles down a little and then fixes him with a look of pure desire while she wraps her legs around his waist and pulls herself towards him, guiding him into her and arching her back to get exactly the right angle as she says, "Yes; my third orgasm for the day."

Christian gasps in delighted surprise and then lifts Ana onto his lap so quickly that she's forced to grab his biceps for support, and he says, "As the lady commands."

Without another word, they gently move against each other, with no thought other than their mutual gratification. Ana comes first, loudly calling his name this time. That sound alone is enough to push Christian over the edge and he thrusts against her one more time before silently clasping her to him, his head buried against her neck as he climaxes, vaguely aware of Ana's fingers once again running through his hair.

Finally both sated, they stay like that for a while, lost in each other, as if they've never had a problem in their lives. After a while, Christian lifts his head and gently but thoroughly kisses Ana, then says, "Can we go home now?"

Ana smiles indulgently and says, "You know it's not my home, Christian." When a spark of anger flares in his eyes, she quickly continues, "And it won't be, until we're sure this is going to work. But I'd love to spend the weekend at your place."

Temporarily mollified, Christian grins and says, "And maybe bring that blue belt with you?"

Feeling only joy, Ana laughs and says, "Yes, Sir."


	4. Chapter 4

Author's note: Ongoing gratitude for all the comments and alerts. Oh, if you review as "Guest", I can't reply. But I have read and treasured every word.

* * *

Spoiler alert: This chapter contains an oblique reference to details that Ana only discovers in Fifty Shades Darker. Not exactly much of a spoiler, as it was pretty obvious. But consider yourself alerted.

* * *

On the Rocks: Chapter Four

Once again grinning like teenagers, seemingly unable to stop, Ana and Christian gather up their clothes from where they're littered throughout the apartment. Ana holds up the borrowed boxers and says, "Your prize, Mr. Grey."

Eyes sparkling with humor, Christian says, "No, you keep them. I enjoy imagining you wearing them."

Ana laughs and says, "And you spend a lot of time thinking about my underwear?"

Suddenly serious, as warm desire for Ana again flows through him, Christian stares at her still naked body and says, "Mostly what's in them, actually."

Her body already pulsing in answer to his hungry gaze, Ana murmurs, "Oh, no. Not again." As Christian moves to embrace her, Ana holds up a hand and says, "At least feed me, Christian. I'm starving."

Stopped by her words, Christian looks her up and down again and observes, "Yes, you've lost weight."

Reaching one hand to caress his face, Ana says, "So have you. I'm sorry, Christian."

Christian smiles a little and frowns in confusion when he says, "For?"

"Leaving you."

Christian's eyes cloud in pain for a second and then he forces a grin and says, "Oh, that. Yeah, don't ever do that again."

Stepping into his embrace and uncaring that Christian automatically grabs her wrists and holds them behind her back, Ana lifts her face for a kiss as she sincerely pledges, "I couldn't. I used up all my strength staying away this long."

After branding her with a punishing kiss that soon sweeps them both up in renewed passion, Christian gasps, "Good." And then he growls his frustration and smacks Ana's ass as he orders, "Get dressed. We can shower at my place after lunch." Happy to have her Fifty back, Ana rubs her freshly stinging butt cheeks with one hand as she eagerly rushes to do his bidding. She's stopped in her tracks when Christian tenderly says, "Thank you."

Though she knows why he's grateful, Ana realizes that she wants to hear him say it, so she tilts her head to one side and says, "For?"

Embarrassed that he has to speak the words, Christian says, "For taking me back."

Pleased that he's in earnest, but reluctant to lose the air of frivolity, Ana curtsies and says, "Truly my pleasure, Mr. Grey."

Laughter in his voice, Christian says, "Go. Get dressed, before I change my mind and give you your fourth orgasm for the day."

Ana giggles and says, "Hardly your most intimidating threat, Christian."

Trying, and failing, to summon an angry glare, Christian says, "Fine. Go get dressed or I _won't_ give you your fourth orgasm for the day."

Ana laughs again and turns on her heel to leave as she says, "Yes, Sir."

* * *

When Ana emerges from her bedroom, now fully dressed in her best jeans, a light-blue blouse and white, denim jacket, Christian is writing a note at the kitchen counter. Curious, she walks over to him and he explains, without looking up, "Just leaving a thankyou note for Miss Kavanagh, when she finally gets back from my brother's."

Ana smiles at the idea and then realizes something and says, "How do you know…" She breaks off at the flicker of guilt that passes over his face and then accuses, "You've been stalking me!"

Squirming under her accusatory glare, Christian says, "I…not directly. I just…even if we were done forever, I needed to know that you're safe."

Not very surprised, Ana decides not to fight him on this one and says, "I knew it! I was sure that I saw Taylor last week. But when I went to greet him, he was gone and I put it down to missing him." When Christian's eyes narrow, Ana says, "Not like that. He's a good friend, to both of us."

There's something foreign in Christian's eyes when he shakes his head in wonder and says, "Apparently." At Ana's questioning look, he nervously licks his lips and says, "I…uh, it was Taylor who made me come here today."

Utterly bewildered, because Taylor has only ever done as ordered, Ana shakes her head in confusion and says, "_Made_ you?"

Eyes wide with disbelief at the memory, Christian says, "Yeah. I was…I've not been doing well since you left, even worse while I was waiting for your answer to the new contract. I was in the kitchen this morning, still in my pajama pants and trying to find the will to start my day when Taylor suddenly asked me what I'd do to get you back."

When he doesn't continue, Ana, her heart in her throat, asks, "What did you say?"

With that boyish, lopsided grin that stabs keenly right through her heart, Christian says, "Anything. I said that I'd do _anything_ to get you back."

Momentarily overcome by this simple declaration, Ana reaches her hands behind Christian's head and meets his eager lips, kissing him until they're both a little breathless and then smiles and says, "And you did. Thank you." They rest together for a few seconds, foreheads just touching, and then Ana whispers, "Then Taylor told you to come here?"

Lifting his head a little, but keeping his arms around her waist, Christian smiles and says, "Actually, he first disappeared, so I thought we were done. A few seconds later, he returned with some clothes and practically threw them at me as he told me to go prove it."

Smiling at the image of Taylor turning the tables on the bossiest boss in the world, Ana says, "Don't freak out when I hug him, okay?"

Suddenly noticing that even his jealous tendencies are eroding, at least where trusted employees are concerned, Christian smiles and jokes, "Okay, but he'd better not hug you back, or I'll fire his ass." When the doorbell then rings, Christian picks up the pen to finish the note and says, "That'll be Taylor. I called him while you were getting dressed. You've got ten seconds before I come out there with a bucket of cold water."

Beaming her gratitude, Ana quickly kisses him and rushes to check the peephole. When she sees that it _is_ her favorite chauffer, she opens the door wide and launches herself at him, saying, "Taylor! Thank you. Thank you, for bullying Christian."

Pushed back a step by the sudden onslaught, Taylor recovers quickly enough to easily catch her in an embrace and says, "Uh, you're welcome, Miss Steele." And then Ana feels the big guy relax and he laughs a little before asking, "So, it went well?"

Unable to suppress a blush at _how_ well it went, Ana lets Taylor lower her feet to the ground as she says, "Very well. He's amazing."

Taylor smiles and says, "If you say so, Miss Steele." When Taylor suddenly releases her, Ana knows that Christian is behind her, even before the driver says, "Sir."

Wincing a little at what Christian's face must look like, seeing her in the arms of another man, Ana turns to see that her Fifty is playing it cool as he simply nods and says, "Taylor. Everything ready?"

Taylor nods and moves to open a door for Ana as he says, "Yes, Sir. Ready when you are."

Christian hands Ana her house keys and quickly kisses her before saying, "I locked up for you."

Too happy to mind about his stalking tendencies, Ana says, "And I suppose you even know enough to have set the alarm?"

With only a quiet smile, confirming that she's guessed correctly, Christian motions to the open car door and says only, "After you, Miss Steele."

Ana climbs in and buckles up, then waits for Christian to climb in the other side of the car and says, "And do you know the password, too?"

Christian chuckles and says, "No. But I can find out." And then he grins and muses, "Actually, that's not a bad idea. Then I could sneak in during the week and wake you, in the best possible way."

With a nervous glance at Taylor, as he starts the car, Ana lowers her voice and says, "Oh, no you don't. At the pace we're going I'll need Monday through Friday to recover."

Looking very smug, Christian declares, "Yes, you will." And then he takes her hand in his and presses it to his lips, momentarily running the tip of his tongue between two of her fingers and smiling at her sudden arousal, then says, "As will I."

When Christian lowers their still joined hands to the seat between then, Ana gasps, "Oh, hell. I might need _more_ than five days to recover."

Almost managing to look stern, Christian says, "It's your own fault. You left and now we've got three weeks to catch up on."

Only now realizing that Christian has also remained celibate since she left him, Ana says, "So…you didn't…you haven't…?"

Smiling at her discomfort, Christian says, "Didn't haven't what, Miss Steele?"

Blushing scarlet, Ana says, "You know what I mean."

Relenting, Christian says, "I didn't have sex while we were apart, if that's what you're asking. I also barely ate or slept, haven't worked out at all and even skipped a few days of work." With a small shrug, he confesses, "Apparently, I don't function very well without you in my life."

Ana is still reeling at all this information when, without taking his eyes off the road, Taylor solemnly declares, "Amen, Sir."

Christian laughs a little at that and says, "And I suspect that I'm not much fun to be around, either."

This time Taylor only nods his head and then Ana, somewhat recovered, says, "Then we need to make this work, because my life absolutely sucks without you."

Leaning out of his seatbelt enough to kiss her, Christian then says, "It _will_ work. You'll make sure of it."

They sit in a companionable silence for a while, as Taylor expertly negotiates the traffic and then Ana realizes something and can't stifle a giggle. At Christian's questioning look, she whispers, "So that's why you forgot condoms and your boxers; you were in shock."

With a nervous glance at Taylor, Christian whispers, "Yes. He's never done anything like that before."

They're already arriving at Christian's apartment as Ana vows, "And he'll never need to again."

Content to let the gentlemen fulfill their perceived roles, Ana waits for Christian to open her door as Taylor stands guard over both of them. Christian doesn't even look like relinquishing her hand as they head inside and Ana finds that she doesn't mind a bit. Her stomach is already rumbling at the marvelous smells coming from the kitchen when they enter. On seeing her, Mrs. Jones smiles and says, "Welcome back, Miss Steele. I've not had time to prepare an elaborate meal. Will pan-fried chicken breasts and quinoa salad suffice?"

Ana looks to Christian, who is gazing down at her with a quiet smile on his face, so she says, "Yes, thank you; sounds, and smells, delicious."

With a small nod of acknowledgment, Mrs. Jones says, "About fifteen minutes, ma'am."

A little uncomfortable with being deferred to, in Christian's home, Ana only smiles her gratitude. Still wearing a bemused smile, Christian kisses Ana's forehead and murmurs, "Just time for a shower." As they head to his bathroom, once more holding hands, Christian shakes his head and observes, "I appear to have lost all control over my staff."

Glancing up at him, trying to gauge his mood, Ana says, "Sorry."

So that she won't be in any doubt, Christian stops and gathers Ana in his arms and kisses her, then says, "It's okay, Ana. I'm glad they love you, too."

Reassured by his tone, Ana sighs in relief and then her brain catches up with what he actually said. Her mouth drops open and her eyes widen in shock and she garbles, "Wha…?"

With that boyish grin that he does so well, Christian gently closes Ana's mouth with the tip of his finger under her chin and tenderly kisses her, then rests his forehead against hers as he says, "I love you, Miss Steele."

Her knees literally weak at the idea, Ana stammers, "But…but you don't do love. You said so."

Stilling smiling a little at her shocked expression, Christian shrugs and says, "Another first." And then his expression sobers and he confesses, "I've had some time to think about things, these past few weeks and…I love you." When Ana says nothing, but tears start to form in her eyes, he pleads, "Don't cry, Ana, please. I'd do anything to never see your tears again."

Of course, his words have the opposite effect and the drops roll down Ana's cheeks as she says, "They're good tears, Christian, I promise. I'm just…I love you, too."

It's too much for both of them and Ana feels the corridor wall against her spine as Christian suddenly forces her back with his mouth on hers, pouring all that he feels for her into one, heady kiss. His fingers are entwined in hers, holding her arms above her head. The picture rail is cutting into her wrists, but Ana barely notices, because her attention is consumed by the feel of Christian's body hard along the length of hers, his erection almost painful against her hip and one of his thighs pressing hard enough against her groin that she idly wonders if it's possible to come with all her clothes on. After what seems like a lifetime, but can only be seconds, Christian ends the sensual assault and groans, as if in pain, before saying, "Shower. Now. Then lunch."

Wondering if her legs will work when Christian lets go of her Ana gasps, "You're kidding, right?"

Christian chuckles and supports her arms as he steps back, saying, "No, I'm not. You need to build up your strength. And, besides, I have other than carnal plans for you this afternoon."

Cursing herself for being so curious, Ana complains, "And you're not going to divulge them, are you?"

Christian smiles and shakes his head as he resumes their walk to the bathroom, saying only, "Nope."

* * *

Somehow managing to shower without having sex, but only because of Christian's restraint, much to Ana's dismay, the two lovers eat a delicious lunch and then Christian bellows for Taylor and says, "Time to go."

With only a nod in reply, Taylor leads the way to the car and drives towards the city limits. Burning with curiosity and unfulfilled desire, Ana sulks most of the way, until Christian's permanent air of bemused delight finally gets to her and she says, "Bastard."

Christian's eyes widen in surprise and then he says, "Technically correct, Miss Steele, but hardly original." Head cocked to one side, he dares, "I think you can do better than that."

Trying, against the odds, to stay angry with him, Ana cheerfully pronounces, "Smug bastard."

Clearly trying to suppress a smile, Christian says, "Again; technically correct."

Warming to the game, and holding out a distant hope that something in her crude insolence will overcome his current immunity to her charms, Ana uses what she knows about Christian's past to accuse, "Smug son-of-a-harlot bastard."

From the driver's seat, Taylor gasps, though it's ignored by both his passengers. And, as that all-too-familiar spark of anger flares in Christian's eyes, Ana recognizes the unmistakable burgeoning of her desire for him and realizes that, on some level, she's in love even with this side of him; the dangerous side. Like a hawk studying its prey, Christian absentmindedly traces his bottom lip with one finger as he takes in everything about Ana's countenance, from her fear-widened eyes to the flush of desire on her face and then he serenely suggests, "Not mother-fucking son-of-a-harlot bastard?"

Thinking that nothing could have induced her to say such a thing to him, given his incredibly complicated sexual appetites in the past, Ana swallows in fear and her voice is barely a whisper when she says, "That, too."

Christian stares at her for a few more seconds and his voice is chillingly calm as he says, "Do you recall the subject of today's lesson, Miss Steele?"

So Ana knows that, despite her best efforts, Christian's not going to give in until he's ready. Forcing her body to relax, she sighs and answers, "Control, Mr. Grey." All her bravado exhausted, Ana isn't bold enough to say anything else. When, after several seconds, Christian is still quiet, she says, "Too much?"

Snapping out of his reverie, Christian smiles a little and says, "No, not too much; just enough."

Relieved that he seems all right, Ana suddenly feels that the few inches of upholstery between them is too vast a gap. So, as she's done in the past, she unclips her seatbelt and climbs into Christian's lap. Only when he readily wraps his arms around her, does Ana really relax and then she whispers, "You okay?"

Christian laughs and says, "I've been called much worse, Ana. I'm just…it's different when you use words like that…same as it's different when you touch me."

Desperate to understand him better, Ana says, "Different how? What's the normal reaction?"

With a small shrug, Christian says, "In the past; violence. More recently, if someone crossed that line I would dump them or ruin them financially."

"And you don't have any of those urges when I cross the line?"

His voice warm and his eyes suddenly very bright, Christian says, "Not at all; quite different urges with you."

Her suspicions confirmed, Ana smiles and says, "That's what I thought." And then she realizes something and says, "Wait…me touching you is a turn-on?"

The inner struggle to understand his own feelings clearly written on his face, Christian considers for a second and says, "On some level, yes. But it's mixed up with old feelings of…" But then he stops, runs one hand through his hair and pleads, "Ana, this is exhausting and I barely understand it myself. Can we do this later?"

Leaning her head against his shoulder, while unconsciously avoiding touching him, Ana says, "Of course. Thanks, for trying to explain it to me." Christian cradles Ana to him and tenderly kisses her forehead. When he doesn't say anything, Ana nervously asks, "It _was_ kind of fun, wasn't it?"

Christian moves Ana enough that she can feel his erection and says, "Yes. Yes, it was."

Beaming her pleasure at having discovered such a fun game, for both of them, Ana then realizes she might have a chance after all and ever-so-slightly shuffles in his lap. After the third time, Christian says, "It won't work, Anastasia."

Ana can feel that, in fact, it's working quite well and "innocently" asks, "What won't work, Mr. Grey?"

Shaking his head, Christian doesn't bother to reply. But, after a few more seconds of this new tactic, he huskily growls, "Enough, or I'll put you off my lap."

Suitably chastised, Ana gives up her attack and says, "Yes, Sir."

With a deep, rumbling laugh, Christian tilts Ana's head back and thoroughly kisses her, then promises, "Tonight should be interesting."


	5. Chapter 5

Author's note: I'm not sure that I'll ever get used to your generous and continued response, which is probably as it should be, thank you.

* * *

On the Rocks: Chapter Five

Only minutes later, Taylor leaves the freeway and Ana, still on Christian's lap, sees that they're entering a driving school. She looks up at Christian for clarification and he explains, "Your eleventh clause is about my need to always be in the driver's seat. If we're going to share the driving, I have to be sure of your ability." When she opens her mouth to protest, he adds, "And you'll enjoy this, I promise. Brad is the best instructor in the business and he makes it fun."

Remembering to trust him, Ana says only, "Okay."

Christian smiles his gratitude for her cooperation and kisses her, then says, "You'd better get back on your side. Brad is even more strict about safety than I am."

Doing as asked, Ana laughs and says, "I doubt that."

When Ana is off his lap, Christian says, "Actually, let's not do that again."

Confused for a second, Ana realizes that Christian is talking about her sitting in his lap while the car is in motion and she says, "You weren't complaining a few minutes ago."

Christian nods, conceding the point and then says, "It always takes me by surprise and…well, it's harder to resist you when you're in my arms."

Unable to feel hurt after such a confession from Christian, Ana realizes something and asks, "Am I the only person to ever sit in your lap?"

Christian can't quite look at her as he says, "Yes."

Reaching over to claim one of his hands, Ana says, "Okay, Christian, seatbelt at all times from now on."

As Taylor parks the car, Christian beams his gratitude that Ana isn't fighting him and kisses her knuckles before saying, "Thank you."

Christian introduces Ana to her instructor, Brad; a no-nonsense man wearing racing leathers who helps Ana into a protective suit of her own, while she resolutely refuses to peek at Christian's almost certainly jealous glare. And then Brad cheerfully asks, "Ready to get behind the wheel, Ana?"

Her eyes distracted by the candy-apple red Porsche 998 parked nearby, Ana grins and says, "Yes, please."

When Christian says to Brad "I'll strap her in," Ana risks a resigned eye-roll while he's distracted and then climbs into the driver's seat, her heart already beating a little faster at being permitted to drive such a beautiful car. They're both trying not to smile as Christian expertly fits the five-point harness and then quickly kisses her before saying, "Have fun, okay?"

Accepting the helmet from him, Ana beams and says, "Yes, Sir."

When Ana is ready, Brad glances over her harness and helmet, making sure that everything is as it should be. Then he quickly completes his own preparations and, through the built-in radio in their helmets, says, "Whenever you're ready, Ana. The first twenty minutes you get to do whatever you want."

Looking out over an empty asphalt arena the size of a small airfield, Ana asks, "Whatever I want?"

Smiling a little at her awed enthusiasm, Brad confirms, "Yes, ma'am…preferably within the fence-line."

Trying to calm her racing heart, Ana starts the engine and gasps at the implied power of the vehicle when she tests the accelerator, and then her smile is as wide as the helmet will permit when she says, "Then you'd better hang on."

* * *

As Ana takes off in a squeal of tires and haze of burnt rubber, Christian's heart almost goes with her. Struggling with an incredibly powerful urge to call the whole thing off, he's still staring as the sports car races into the distance when Taylor coughs politely to get his attention. Turning, Christian sees that, as requested, the man has fetched his laptop from the car and Taylor says, "You wanted to work out here, Sir?"

After a startled glance towards the distant Porsche as the tires screech their protest at being thrown into a sudden U-turn, Christian says, "You know, I think that I'd better borrow Brad's office, instead…and I'm going to need my earphones."

Trying, ineptly, to conceal a smile, Taylor says only, "Yes, Sir."

Too distracted to really get much work done, Christian gives up well before Ana's lesson is due to finish. So he's ready in full racing leathers when she finally screeches to a halt nearby after ninety minutes driving the Porsche. Christian isn't fast enough to help her out of the car. But he doesn't mind because Ana quickly climbs out of her seat, drops her helmet onto it and then races to him and throws herself into his arms, exclaiming, "Christian! Thank you."

Too strong to be knocked over by her enthusiastic greeting, Christian is nevertheless taken by surprise and rocks back a little as he catches her and says, "You're welcome. But this is only lesson one, Ana. You've got seven more to go before I'll let you drive."

Still with her feet off the ground, Ana kisses him and then says, "I know. Brad explained. But I'm just…that was so much fun." And then she seems to notice his attire for the first time and asks, "Your turn for a lesson?"

Gently releasing her, Christian says, "No. But the complex includes a racetrack and I thought you might like a tour."

Eyes gleaming with excitement at the idea, Ana says, "With you driving?" When Christian only nods, she laughs with delight and says, "Then I call a bathroom break."

Christian nods for Taylor to show her the way as he says, "Probably a good idea. I'll be here."

As Christian watches Ana walk towards the office building, Brad interrupts his ogling with, "You're a lucky man, Mr. Grey."

Scanning the words for any sign of disrespect, Christian realizes that Brad is only paying him and Ana a heartfelt compliment. So he pushes the urge towards violence aside and says, "Yes. Yes, I am. So, how did she do?"

Once again businesslike, Brad says, "Just fine. Ana's a competent driver with excellent instincts, only lacking experience. After eight lessons, she'll be as good as you." Nodding towards Taylor, he continues, "If she does the advanced course, she'll be almost as good as Jason."

Pleased, but unsurprised, at the appraisal, Christian smiles and says, "Thanks." After another glance towards Ana, he continues, "It'll take her forever to accomplish the task in that suit. Would you time one run?"

Handing over his helmet, Brad grins and says, "Of course. You know that the tires are well and truly warmed up."

* * *

After taking a frustratingly long time to pee, given that she's unfamiliar with the mechanics of a fire-retardant racing suit, Ana thanks Taylor for waiting so patiently and then heads back to Christian, but he and the Porsche are nowhere to be seen, though she can hear it in the distance. On seeing Brad wearing a headset and holding a stopwatch, Ana realizes what's going on and says, "He couldn't wait, could he?"

Brad holds one hand over the mike and says, "No, ma'am. But he'll be in sight very soon."

Sure enough, only seconds later, the distant roar of the high-performance engine gets louder and the car comes into view, nearly airborne as Christian pushes its limits over a hill. He hurtles past the finish line and then gently brings the car almost to a halt before leaving the track and comparatively sedately driving over to his audience. Incredibly turned on by his competent performance, Ana doesn't quite trust her legs enough to approach him. By the time Christian has exited the car and checked his time on Brad's stopwatch, apparently unimpressed with what he sees there, Ana is composed enough that her voice barely trembles when she says, "Have fun?"

Christian's knowing smile confirms that he's well aware of the effect he's having on Ana and his eyes are sparkling with barely suppressed humor as he kisses her and says, "Quite. Thanks, for asking. Let's go."

Still recovering, Ana numbly lets Christian lead her to the car and once again attach the seatbelt, adjusting the passenger side harness to her slim form. Finally calming down, she grins and says, "Are we ever going to do something that doesn't require you tightening straps across my body?"

Christian's eyebrows shoot up in surprise at her words and then he grins and says, "Probably not."

Once Ana is restrained, Christian permits himself enough relaxing of his self-control to implant a kiss on her that proves he's just as turned on as she is. As all the blood in Ana's body heads towards the fifth strap of the harness, she wonders if she's going to pass out and giddily says, "Okay."

Christian laughs and fetches her helmet, saying, "Remember the chinstrap." And then he gets behind the wheel, dons his seatbelt and helmet, giving the controls a once-over to make sure everything is still working. Satisfied, he trusts the headset to convey his words and says, "Ready, baby?"

Ana nods, realizes that he's not looking at her and declares, "Ready." With that, they're off, though Christian is careful to not spin the wheels as he heads onto the track. By the third corner, Ana realizes that being in the sports car with Christian is even sexier than watching him from a distance. The urge to reach out and caress his thigh is almost irresistible. But, of course, she recognizes that it could prove disastrous. Instead, she focuses on calming her breathing as they hurtle into the next corner, the car twitching slightly as Christian barely maintains control and it occurs to Ana that this is the perfect sport for her Fifty; where skill and concentration are essential and losing control potentially deadly. It seems like no time at all before the office and huge garage are in sight as they near the end of the lap. As the finish line passes by in a blur, Ana can't contain herself any longer and exclaims, "God, I want to fuck you right now!"

Almost all his attention having been consumed by piloting the Porsche, Christian is taken completely by surprise when her words are conveyed directly to his ear by the headset and he spectacularly loses control, sliding into a wild spin. However, having trained for such emergencies, he soon corrects his mistake, comes to a sudden stop and, heart pounding, snaps, "Ana, this is an open line."

Mortified, when she realizes that Brad and possibly Taylor heard her declaration, Ana blushes the color of the car and says, "Oh…sorry."

If possible, her bright red color only deepens when Brad's voice says, "No need, ma'am. Racing has that effect on everyone."

Shaking his head in wonder at Ana, Christian drives carefully back to Brad and Taylor. As they exit the car and divest themselves of the safety gear, Ana can't bring herself to look the instructor in the eye. Thankfully, despite a slight smile that he can't quite conceal, Brad remains a gentleman and makes no mention of her brazen statement, speaking with her only enough to arrange the next lesson. When Christian suggests that Ana wait in the car with Taylor while he talks business with Brad, she's glad of the reprieve and doesn't hesitate to obey. Christian soon climbs in beside her and, once he's seated, Taylor asks, "Where to, Sir?"

Everyone in the car knows that Christian's talking about Ana's verbal slip when he says, "I think it had better be home, don't you?"

Betraying nothing of what he's thinking, Taylor starts the engine and says only, "Yes, Sir."

When Christian then looks at Ana, her mouth is open in shock at his audacity, so he grins and says, "Anything wrong, Miss Steele?"

Ana can only manage "You…," before clamping her mouth shut, determined not to give Christian the satisfaction of seeing her anger.

They're both quiet as Taylor heads for Escala. After a while, Christian reaches out for Ana's hand, but she pointedly ignores the gesture. After several seconds with no sign of Ana relenting, Christian withdraws his hand. Of course, Ana is then immediately swamped by feelings of guilt, because she knows that she's really angry with herself, not Christian. She's already leaning towards apologizing for her petulance, when Christian says, "You know how I got the scars?"

At first unable to speak, when she realizes that Christian is ready to talk about his early childhood, Ana swallows past her suddenly dry throat and imagines a terrified, copper-haired toddler being tortured with a lit cigarette, or whipped with the buckle end of a man's belt, and she can't keep the anger from her voice when she says, "I can guess."

His gaze fixed somewhere out past the windshield, Christian explains, "When you're treated like that, when it goes on for a long time and you don't know anything else, you start to feel like you deserve it. I mean…there was nothing to suggest otherwise, so I just knew…knew like…how you know that sunlight will feel warm. Do you understand?"

Surprised to be addressed, Ana considers for a second and then says, "I think so…it was just an accepted fact for you, rather than something you ever wondered about."

Christian sighs in relief and says, "Exactly." And then he shakes his head slightly and says, "And then came Grace and Carrick. I…God, it was confusing. It was weeks before I could even be around them without waiting for the blows. And it was months…maybe even years, before I accepted that the blows were gone for good. And then I learned to get good and angry that I'd had to endure such brutality, when others never even hear an unkind word throughout their entire childhood. But, even as I _hated_ what had been done to me, some part of me still waited for the abuse…even longed for its return, because…" Thwarted again, by his inability to articulate his feelings, Christian runs both hands through his hair and says, "Fuck! I'm sorry, Ana, I can't…"

Her heart aching for him, Ana remembers her earlier promise and says, "Taylor! Pull over. Now."

Of course, Taylor has heard the conversation and doesn't even glance in the mirror before taking the next exit and pulling over at the first, safe place. Ana is already climbing into Christian's lap as Taylor opens his door, saying, "Call me when you're ready."

Intent on easing Christian's pain, Ana doesn't even acknowledge the driver's words. Instead, she cradles Christian's face in two hands and forces his gaze to hers as she says, "Because being abused had become part of your identity in a way that not even Grace and Carrick's love could erase?"

Christian sighs his gratitude, that she's understood that much and almost falls into a solemn, desperate kiss as his arms close around her. Then he lifts his head, as if with great effort, and says, "Yes. And every time someone touches me I remember that I'm…worthless…less than worthless. It's like I'm disappearing, and only my rage is strong enough to bring me back." And then her Christian returns in his sudden, bright smile and he reveals, "Except with you."

Struggling to breathe at the pain his words elicit, Ana can only manage, "How?"

"How is it different with you?" At her nod, Christian says, "As much as I hate being touched, that's how much I long for your caress. And these feelings are simultaneous. So, when you touch me, it feels like I'm being torn apart." And then he shakes his head in wonder and asks, "Why did you touch me this morning? I would never have known any of this if you hadn't done that."

Ana shrugs and says, "Well, other than the fact that caressing you is an almost constant desire, I just figured…it's obvious that you don't completely trust me yet, and I truly do understand why that's impossible for you, but I thought that maybe…if I could just get your skin to trust me, then we might have a chance."

Ana is still cradling his face, so Christian anchors his gaze on hers and takes both her hands in his, then places her palms on his chest and holds them there. The inner turmoil created by this simple gesture is evident in the fact that Christian is panting like he's run a marathon and can't help a slight grimace of pain. But his skin doesn't tremble in protest at her touch and his voice is steady when he says, "Good plan."

Unwilling to move a muscle, for fear she'll break the spell, Ana can only stare back at Christian, marveling at the feel of his too-fast heartbeat beneath her hands. Neither of them are aware how long they stay like that before Christian removes his hands from hers. Taking the hint, Ana also removes her hands and, with all that they've just endured, hugs herself against the pain she feels for the little boy he used to be. Any remaining strength she possesses is consumed by not crying for him, because she knows that he neither wants nor needs her tears. So she has nothing left to give when Christian cradles her to his chest and, within minutes, she's asleep.


	6. Chapter 6

Author's note: Still awed by your ridiculously generous response to the story, thank you. Sadly, work is busier than usual this week, so might not be able to continue the pace. But I'm still writing.

* * *

On the Rocks: Chapter Six

Ana wakes as they arrive at Escala. At first confused why she's in the car and covered with a blanket, she then remembers what happened just before she fell asleep and her eyes fly towards Christian, who is smiling his love for her as he says, "Hey."

A little embarrassed when she realizes that he's been watching her sleep…again, Ana blushes and replies, "Hey." And then she unclips her seatbelt and climbs back into his lap, meeting his eager lips with hers, until they're both a little breathless, and then she whispers, "I love you, Fifty Shades."

Smiling at the nickname, Christian holds her a little tighter and also whispers, "And I love you, Anastasia."

Taylor has parked the car and is holding Ana's door open, steadfastly refusing to look at either of them. Ana quickly kisses Christian and murmurs, "Look away if you don't want to see me hug him again."

Proving that he's beginning to trust her, Christian merely laughs and says, "I'll hold the elevator for you."

Ana leaves Christian's embrace and scoots across the seat to exit on Taylor's side. The man who is quickly becoming so dear to her has a hint of a smile on his face as he acknowledges her presence with a polite, "Miss Steele."

Ana grabs him in her version of a bear hug and declares, "One day, you're going to call me Ana."

Taylor hesitates a second before returning her embrace and saying, "Yes, Miss Steele." Gesturing to Christian, Taylor quietly says, "Thank you."

Ana smiles as she releases him and then says, "Funny, I thought that I was thanking you."

With a small bow, Taylor says, "You're welcome, Miss Steele."

Satisfied that he understands how grateful she is for his continued support and compassion, Ana leaves Taylor to his duties and heads over to where Christian is casually leaning against the open elevator door, legs crossed and hands in his pockets. When she's close enough to see his eyes, Ana recognizes that it's lust, not love, now looking back at her. As her body automatically tightens in response to his dark gaze, Ana grins and shakes her head as she says, "What is it with you and elevators?"

Gesturing that she should precede him, Christian says, "Let's find out."

The elevator doors haven't quite closed before Christian's mouth is on hers, hungrily demanding her immediate response. Of course, she's incapable of doing anything else, because she's wanted exactly this for most of the day. Vaguely aware of the cold metal wall against her shoulder blades and the handrail jutting painfully into her back, Ana closes her eyes and gives herself up to their shared passion, matching each thrust of his tongue and eagerly but gently biting his bottom lip when it comes within range of her teeth, eliciting a moan of pleasure from Christian that makes Ana's body ache for him.

It's only when Ana feels Christian's warm hands gliding along her skin, beneath her blouse, that she realizes he hasn't, as usual, restrained her wrists. Already drowning in emotions that have been building up for hours, she's overcome with love for Christian when she realizes that he's starting to trust her even in this. Unbidden, she moves her hands behind her back and grasps the handrail, easing the pressure on her spine and ensuring that she won't touch him. Her posture reminds Ana of being bound, and she suddenly knows that, despite her ongoing struggle against his domineering ways, she really does want Christian to be in control of their lovemaking; to possess her body as if it actually belongs to him. It's a freeing revelation and Ana starts trembling as she spirals towards an orgasm brought on by Christian's kiss alone.

With a groan of reluctance, Christian suddenly breaks off the kiss and steps back, just before the elevator pings its arrival at the apartment. Suddenly bereft of his scalding touch, Ana knows that the handrail is the only thing keeping her legs from failing. Sawyer is waiting and, of course, _not_ looking at them in the way that only security personnel can achieve, and Ana idly wonders if that's part of their training. Sawyer acknowledges Christian with "Sir," and then, as Ana follows Christian out of the elevator on slightly wobbly legs, says, "Good to see you again, Miss Steele."

Waiting for the blood to recirculate from her groin to her brain, Ana can only manage a nod in reply and then is whisked away by Christian. Having assumed that they're heading either to the bedroom or the playroom, she's surprised when he leads her towards the dining room and she protests, "I'm not hungry, Christian."

He's already heard those words several times from her lips, so Christian doesn't even pause, saying, "Then don't eat much."

Ana plants her feet, forcing Christian to stop and then she slowly explains, as if to a child, "I'm not hungry, therefore I won't eat _anything_."

More confused than angry, Christian frowns and says, "But Gail came in today just so she could cook for you on your first day back."

Remembering something he said about Mrs. Jones not working on weekends, Ana realizes that he's probably telling the truth. Feeling a little guilty, Ana nevertheless knows that she can't give in to Christian on this one, or every single meal will become a battle. So she shakes her hand loose from his and says, "Then I will politely and gratefully explain to her that I'll eat later."

Christian's expression is quickly moving from confused to angry, as he ponders her fate for a few seconds. Suddenly, he holds out his hand to her and says, "Okay, later. But I'm hungry now and would very much like it if you'd keep me company while I eat."

Releasing the breath she didn't even know she'd been holding, Ana takes his hand, smiles and says, "I'd love to, Mr. Grey."

Though the housekeeper is nowhere to be seen, the dining table is set for a two and their meals are in place on dinner trays, under insulating lids. After seeing Ana to her chair, Christian sits down and unveils his beef stroganoff, loudly appreciating the delectable aroma. He silently offers Ana some wine and, at her nod, half fills her glass before doing the same with his and commenting, "White burgundy. Perfect."

Curious as ever, Ana asks, "Why perfect?"

Fork in hand, Christian explains, "Well, you need a strong flavor to stand up to the beef. Usually, that means a robust red. But then there's the sour cream sauce, requiring something fruity, like this chardonnay grape, to balance the sourness." And then he smiles and says, "May I eat now?"

Blushing, that she's stopping him from enjoying his dinner, Ana says, "Of course."

It's hard to tell, from where Ana sits, just how much is acting and how much genuine appreciation of Mrs. Jones' skills. But Christian appears to truly relish every morsel of the meal, and every sip of the wine. He's not halfway done when Ana's loudly rumbling stomach signals her surrender and she lifts the lid before her to find out just how good it is. Christian doesn't say a word. But the permanent hint of a smile on his lips confirms that he's very pleased with himself. After appeasing the worst of her hunger pangs, Ana pauses long enough to say, "Bastard."

Christian only laughs and says, "I'll tell Gail how much you enjoyed it."

They're once again at ease with each other while they enjoy the caramelized pears in custard sauce. As Ana scoops out the last morsel of dessert, Christian says, "Coffee?"

Surprised, Ana says, "I thought Mrs. Jones had gone home?"

Christian smiles and says, "She has. But I know how to make a cup of coffee, Ana."

"Oh, sorry." Suddenly realizing that there's only one thing she now wants, Ana says, "Can we please go play now?"

The immediate flare of desire in Christian's eyes confirms that he's just as keen, but he smiles and shakes his head, saying, "For what I have in mind, you shouldn't have a full stomach, so you'll have to wait an hour. Unless you're speaking of Xbox, in which case I'd be happy to kick your ass at any game of your choosing."

Trusting him to know what's best in such matters, Ana sighs her disappointment and says, "Okay, Xbox it is. But I warn you Mr. Grey, I'm something of a legend at Need for Speed."

Always glad of a challenge, Christian's delighted, boyish grin returns and he says, "Well, this should prove interesting. Care to make a wager on it?"

Suddenly realizing that she might be able to finally turn the tables on him, Ana pretends to consider it for a second and then suggests, "One article of clothing per race."

Christian's face expresses a mixture of desire and reticence and he says, "I wasn't kidding about needing to wait Ana. I don't find you vomiting particularly sexy."

After glaring at him for reminding her of that unpleasant and unflattering incident, Ana shrugs and carries her dinner tray towards the kitchen, saying, "Well, we can always watch TV or read a book for an hour."

Distracted at the idea of strip Need for Speed, Christian absentmindedly carries his dinner tray to the kitchen for the first time ever, puts it on the counter beside Ana's and then says, "Okay, Steele; one per race. But you already know that I'm faster than you."

Ana shrugs and says, "Faster running maybe, but not behind the wheel of a Ferrari."

Christian smiles and says, "You know that I could arrange that, right; an actual race in Ferraris?"

Ana heads for the media room, saying, "Trying to intimidate me won't work either, Grey. Because, when the flag drops, the bullshit stops."

Hurrying to catch up with her, Christian says, "Miss Steele, recently I've noticed a tendency towards profanity on your part, and you were such a sweet girl when I met you."

"I was a virgin, Christian, not the same thing at all. I'm pretty sure that I know more profanities than you do."

Christian laughs and says, "I seriously doubt that." And then he's forced to get out of her way as Ana suddenly turns and waves her arms like pinwheels for a few seconds before moving on. Stunned, Christian again rushes to catch up with Ana, saying, "Did you just insult me in Semaphore?"

Ana shrugs and says, "I told you; Ray was in the military."

"So, what did you just call me?"

Pleased that her distraction tactic appears to be working, Ana grins and says, "You're a smart man. You'll work it out."

Sulking a little at her secrecy, Christian quickly sets up the game and then turns to hand Ana a controller and freezes, his mouth dropping open in shock; in the few seconds it took him to prepare the game, Ana has removed her jacket and blouse, leaving only her jeans, bra and the blue belt that she'd only this morning practically begged him to use as a restraint. When he can finally speak, he says, "What are you doing?"

Her eyes sparkling with salacious intent, Ana says, "Just keeping things fair. I really am very good at this game."

Unable to be angry with this type of defiance, Christian smiles, shakes his head and ponders aloud, "No doubt, but the question is; which game are you playing?"

Ana only smiles and, without another word, they start the first race. By now thoroughly distracted, Christian wipes out even worse than he did on the actual race track and Ana easily cruises to her first win. Whooping her delight, she turns to Christian and says, "Pay up, Grey."

Getting into the spirit of Ana's real game, Christian pauses, his fingers on the top button of his shirt as he says, "Are you sure about this, Anastasia?"

Her eyes wide and lips slightly parted, Ana swallows and says, "Absolutely."

Smiling at the effect he's having on her, Christian says "Okay," and then quickly kicks off one of his shoes.

Glaring at him for his deception, Ana growls, "Next race."

Ana wins that race, and the one after that, until Christian is playing Xbox wearing only his jeans and watch. Shaking his head in admiration, Christian says, "I never stood a chance, did I?"

Having more fun than she would have thought possible, given that they haven't had sex since this morning, Ana beams her pleasure and says, "Well, you've wasted your life becoming a millionaire."

"Billionaire."

"What?"

With a modest shrug, Christian says, "Well, multi-billionaire, technically." When Ana only stares at him, he continues, "I told you how much money I make per hour. You didn't do the math?"

Shaking her head in wonder, Ana says, "Apparently not."

When it's obvious that she's genuinely troubled, Christian says, "You know it doesn't mean a damn to me, Ana. It's more a side-effect of my fucked-up psyche than anything else."

Still in shock, and not even understanding why, Ana says, "I know, but…I just never expected to be rich. But, if we stay together, you're going to insist on sharing it with me, aren't you?"

Smiling his pleasure that she's actually considering the possibility, Christian says, "Yes, especially after we're married."

And, for the second time today, Ana can only manage, "Wha…?"

Putting aside his controller and gently removing the other from Ana's suddenly slack fingers, Christian explains, "Not tonight, not even next week. But, when you're ready, I'd very much like to marry you and share everything I own with you. In the meantime, I could make you a millionaire and not even miss the money."

Utterly confused, and reeling from his sort-of proposal, Ana protests, "Christian, you can't just give me a million dollars."

His head tilted to one side and a slight smile on his face, Christian asks, "Why not?"

"Because…because we're meant to earn money. It shouldn't be that easy."

Christian laughs at that and says, "You find being my girlfriend easy?"

Finally relaxing a little, Ana is able to smile at that and says, "An excellent point, Mr. Grey." With a resigned sigh, Ana climbs into his lap, buries her face against his neck and says, "I'm scared."

His whole body tensing in sympathetic fear, Christian says, "Of what?"

"Of everything; how much I love you, the fact that we can't get through a day without arguing, the way you're already talking about marriage when we only got back together this morning and the whole billionaire thing…it's too much."

"Too much money?"

"Too much everything."

While trying to reassure Ana with an unconscious, gentle caress of her back, Christian takes a deep breath and asks, "How long has this been bothering you?"

Her voice slightly muffled, Ana says, "Always, I guess…other than the billionaire thing, but I've been having so much fun that I forgot to be afraid."

Still trying to ease her anxiety with his caress, Christian considers things for a few seconds and says, "Okay, it'll take a bit of doing, because I'll want to ensure minimum layoffs, but I can be broke in a few weeks, six at the very outside."

Squirming in distress at his words, Ana protests, "I'm being serious, Christian."

Christian gently grabs her face with one hand, then tilts her head back so that she's looking at him and says, "And what makes you think that I'm not?"

Blinking in surprise, Ana says, "But…you can't be."

Echoing his words from this morning, Christian says, "Anything, Ana. I'd do _anything_. If you need me to prove it, I will…gladly."

Almost overcome by his generosity, Ana manages to say, "I don't want you to do that. And I don't want you to give me a million dollars."

Still clasping her chin, so that he'll have some hope of reading her thoughts, Christian slowly nods once and says, "Okay. Now, the arguing thing; we're just testing each other's limits. I think that it will mostly disappear as we get used to each other. In the meantime, I'll continue to try and control you and, when I've crossed a line, you'll stubbornly resist until I give in." With a grin, he continues, "And arguing with you is a powerful aphrodisiac."

Ana blushes a little at that and confesses, "For me, too."

Continuing, before he can have time to think about the fact that Ana is almost naked in his lap, Christian says, "As for the marriage thing; forget about that. It's irrelevant until you're ready, anyway."

Trying, ineffectively, to wrest her face from his grasp, Ana says, "How can I forget about it? You just asked me to marry you."

"Actually, I merely stated the fact of its eventual occurrence. I know that there's no point asking you, until you're ready to say yes."

Slightly annoyed at his certainty, Ana says, "You're pretty sure of yourself, Grey. What makes you think that I'd ever want to marry you?"

Finally releasing her chin, Christian grins and says, "Because you're afraid of the idea, and because you love me." When Ana only smiles, Christian nods his acknowledgement of her assent and continues, "Which brings us to the question of why you're afraid of how much you love me?"

Forcing herself to look him in the eye, Ana nervously swallows and then confesses, "I'm worried that I'll let you hurt me again."

Visibly rocked by her words, Christian takes a deep breath and says, "That scares me, too."

Her worst fear seemingly confirmed, Ana is trembling and her voice is barely audible when she says, "You still want to hurt me?"

Realizing his error, Christian gathers her to him and adamantly declares, "No, never. I swear, Ana; that compulsion is gone for good. I only want to give you pain as pleasure…only ever have, actually. What scares me…terrifies me, is how much _you_ can hurt _me_."

Bewildered, Ana says, "I can hurt you?"

Smiling at her surprise, Christian nods and says, "Yes, _you_…only you. Anything I've endured in the past was nothing compared to the agony of being without you these past few weeks."

Horrified at having caused him so much pain, and shocked to have such power over another human being, Ana can only shake her head in slack-jawed, wide-eyed abhorrence of the idea. Smiling at her silently eloquent reply, Christian gently closes her mouth and says, "Then don't ever leave me again and, seriously Ana, you need to tell me when I'm nearing your limits…in everything. If you'd let me know that the strap…God, I had no idea that it was hurting you that much. If you'd just told me after the first blow, we could have avoided…anyway, just tell me next time, okay?"

Still confused and a little appalled, Ana says, "You thought I was enjoying that?"

Uncomfortable with reliving the incident that led to Ana walking out of his life, Christian squirms a little and says, "Well, yes…many women do, Ana."

"Enjoy being beating with a leather belt?"

"Absolutely…and worse, though I've never been a fan of anything that will break the skin or leave permanent marks, hence those particular hard limits."

Still trying to understand, Ana says, "But, you don't want to do anything like that to me?"

Emphatically shaking his head, Christian says, "No, Ana. I have _never_ wanted to hurt a woman beyond what she finds pleasurable. But, given my fucked-upedness, I've sought out masochistic women with a high tolerance for pain. But, if I have you, I don't need any of that…you're all I need."

Suddenly unable to keep from kissing him, Ana pulls his head down and meets his always willing lips with hers. After not quite long enough, Ana ends the kiss and snuggles against Christian, then she can't help a smile as she quotes, "_Fucked-upedness_?"

Also smiling, Christian says, "Well, Flynn could help you with the technical term, but you know what I mean."

Ana nods against his shoulder and then sighs away all her fears and says, "Can we play now?"

Christian's entire body immediately tenses, because he knows that she's not talking about Xbox, but he keeps his voice calm when he says, "You sure? We don't need to talk about this some more?"

Recognizing that it's her own fault he needs reassurance, Ana lifts her head again, so that Christian can see the truth on her face as she explains, "I'm sure. You're all I need, too. And I'm not afraid anymore."

Christian beams his pleasure at her words, stands up with Ana in his arms and strides towards the playroom as he says, "Not yet, you're not."


	7. Chapter 7

Author's note: Again, thank you. You've inspired me to keep writing a story that I'm very much enjoying, and have made the wait for Castle, Season 5 much more bearable.

* * *

On the Rocks: Chapter Seven

Slinging Ana over his shoulder, while he unlocks the playroom door, Christian leaves her in place as he enters, easily preventing her squirming, and then he throws her onto the bed. Ana squeals in surprise as she bounces on the mattress, then laughs and says, "Christian, you're a caveman."

In a chillingly calm monotone, barely recognizable as the same man who was just playing Need for Speed, Christian says, "Have you forgotten where you are, Miss Steele?"

Immediately torn between her trust for the man she loves and the sudden, cold clench of fear in her belly at the threat of violence in his voice, Ana gulps and says, "No, Sir."

Apparently satisfied with her reply, Christian growls, "Good." Next, he grabs Ana's ankles and slides her towards him, then unbuckles her belt and removes it so quickly that Ana is lifted slightly off the bed and the leather cracks like a whip as it snakes through the air.

Even though she trusts him, that sound evokes all Ana's memories of the last time they were in this room and she's suddenly truly afraid. She's seriously reconsidering the whole idea when Christian stretches out beside her and gently tugs at her chin until she releases her bottom lip from her teeth. Not realizing that she'd been doing that, Ana says, "Sorry."

His face and voice once again kind, Christian says, "Change your mind?" When Ana hesitates and then shakes her head, he suggests, "But you're afraid?"

Worried about offending him, Ana hesitates again and then says, "Maybe a little."

Christian's face splits with a wide grin and he says, "Then my skills have suffered in your absence, because you're supposed to be quaking in your boots."

Confused, Ana says, "You want me to be scared of you?"

With a quiet smile, Christian says, "Ana, you've been provoking me all day. Now it's payback time. But this is a _play_ room, sweetheart. You're not in any danger here unless you again forget to tell me when I'm pushing you too far. Promise me, baby, that you'll stop me if it's getting too much for you?"

Her nerves in tatters at so many conflicting emotions, Ana can only say, "You called me sweetheart."

Christian's face registers his surprise, and then he laughs and says, "So I did. Another first, Miss Steele. But you'd probably better not get used to it."

"You've never called anyone that?"

With a bemused grin, Christian says, "Why would I? You're the only woman I've ever been in love with."

Finally able to relax, Ana sighs her contentment and says, "I'm ready, Sir."

Frowning in concern, Christian says, "You're sure?"

Suddenly ready for anything, Ana's voice is serene as she declares, "One hundred percent, Mr. Grey."

Still wary, Christian asks, "What will happen if you ask me to stop?"

Resisting the urge to run her hands through his hair, Ana's voice is filled with love when she says, "You'll comfort me and carry me to your bed, then fuck me senseless and fall asleep in my arms."

Christian's gaze darkens with desire at her words, and then he says, "Another excellent plan, Miss Steele. In fact, I think we'll do that even if you _don't_ ask me to stop."

With everything south of her navel clenching in response to his lustful promise, Ana can only utter, "Okay."

Christian laughs at her response and then stands up, dragging her with him as he says, "Now, strip down to your panties, and tie your hair up out of the way."

Confused, and a little dizzy after being so suddenly hauled to her feet, Ana says, "I thought you were going to do that?"

In a menacing growl that almost makes Ana's hair stand on end, Christian commands, "On your knees. Now!"

As if she literally has no choice in the matter, Ana drops to her knees and, finally sensitive of Christian's needs, automatically rests her hands and forearms on her parted thighs, her head bowed as she says, "Yes, Sir."

His voice only slightly softer, Christian says, "Do you want to be here?"

Too surprised by the question to do anything but tell the complete truth, Ana exclaims, "Very much!" And then she winces and adds, "Sir."

Ana is sure that the sound she hears is Christian running his hands through his hair and then he angrily says, "Then stop second-guessing everything I say and, just this once, do as you're fucking told."

Of course, he's right; after begging him to play, Ana is already forgetting to trust him and she's a little ashamed of herself as she meekly says, "Yes, Sir."

Christian is silent for several seconds and Ana begins to worry that she's ruined everything. But then his imposing voice is back when he orders, "Strip down to your panties and put your hair up, then wait for me by the door. If you move even an inch, I'll punish you and, I promise you, Ana, you won't like it."

Fighting the urge to apologize, Ana does exactly as instructed. Other than the steadily increasing pain in her untrained muscles, there's no way of telling how long she waits on her knees by the door, while Christian moves around the room, presumably making preparations. Finally, she hears his bare feet unhurriedly padding in her direction. Making sure that her posture is correct, Ana says nothing, not even when Christian's feet appear before her and she sees that her blue, leather belt is hanging from his hand. And then he says, "This is to remind you to obey."

Ana knows that he won't hit her with the belt, not after last time. So she's mystified as to what Christian could possibly intend when the belt suddenly loops around her neck and tightens. Ana gasps and almost lifts her head. But she remembers Christian's earlier caution and instead focusses on the feel of the leather around her throat. It's not actually tight enough to restrict breathing or blood flow, just unfamiliar and undeniably scary. Forcing her panic back down where it came from, Ana calms her breathing and then says, "Yes, Sir."

Ana can hear the pride in Christian's voice when he says, "Good girl." And then he tugs gently on the belt, so that it presses on the back of her neck, as he says, "Stand up."

Given that she's been on her knees for quite a while, that simple task proves difficult. Christian helps her with one hand under her arm and then says, "This is why you need to start working out."

His gentle tone reassures Ana enough that she dares a glance at him. He looks like her Christian, so she says, "I think you're right, Mr. Grey."

Christian smiles and says, "Yes, I definitely enjoy you compliant like this, no matter how much I love your smart mouth." And then his posture straightens as if whatever he's thinking makes him uncomfortable and he says, "Given what happened last time you were in this room, I'm breaking with tradition enough to give you a glimpse of what's in store for you. If you still want to proceed, I'll then blindfold you, because it will enhance your experience, okay?"

Suddenly haunted by some of the more disturbing images she found online when Christian asked her to research his unconventional sexual practices, Ana nevertheless says, "Okay."

Apparently satisfied with that answer, Christian walks towards the bed, his grasp on the belt around her neck forcing Ana to follow. The first thing she notices is the smell; something sweet that she can't quite place. And then she's disturbed to see that the bed is covered by a cotton drop cloth and her gaze whips to Christian's. He looks slightly nervous and says, "Too much?"

Realizing that she hasn't even given the scene a chance, Ana drags her eyes back to the bed, pausing only a second at the blindfold and what looks like a black, cloth bag. And then, on the dresser, she spots the small crockpot, several lit candles of different colors, a bottle of massage oil and a couple of other things that she cannot identify. The pieces finally fall into place and she says, "Waxplay?"

Christian smiles and says, "You've been doing your homework." And then his face is full of concern as he asks, "You okay?"

Trying to remember what she knows of the practice, Ana says, "The site said that there's a danger of scarring."

Christian nods and says, "Yes, if it's not done properly."

Ana recognizes that Christian is asking her to trust him and then realizes that she does; completely. So she smiles and says, "Then it's just as well that you know what you're doing."

Christian beams his gratitude and then pulls gently on the belt, saying, "Do we need this anymore?"

In a moment of inspiration, Ana says, "Surely that's up to you, Mr. Grey."

Christian's eyes widen in delight at her answer, and then he removes the belt and drops it on the bed. Next, he reaches for the blindfold, fits it over Ana's eyes and says, "See anything?"

"No, Sir."

Now effectively blind, Ana cannot know what's coming next. So she's back to afraid when what can only be the black bag is dropped over her head. At her gasp, Christian explains, "There's a mesh grid over your nose and mouth. You'll be able to breathe almost normally. So it'll be scary and uncomfortable, but ultimately sexy as hell if you stay in the moment and just go with it." There's laughter in his voice when he adds, "Also, it'll ensure that we don't have to comb wax out of your beautiful hair, okay?"

Noticing that he's right, she can breathe with only a little effort, Ana nods and says, "Yes, Sir."

Christian's tone once again brooks no refusal when he commands, "On the bed, face down, with your arms above your head."

As Ana complies, unfamiliar music swells and fills the room. Only able to guess if she's in the correct position, Ana does her best to comply and turns her head to the side so that she can breathe. The hood makes even that task difficult enough that she's constantly on the edge of panic and Ana wonders if that is exactly what Christian wants. Suddenly, he's grabbing her hands, binding her wrists together and stretching them towards the head of the bed. Just as suddenly, he's gone. Not knowing what he's going to do next is simultaneously nerve-wracking and incredibly stimulating.

Christian next makes his presence known with a hand on her right ankle. He stretches her leg to the side and cuffs it to the bed. Ana tests it a little and finds that she can already barely move as Christian quickly and expertly shackles her other ankle. And then he excruciatingly slowly drags his fingernails in tiny circles around the tender flesh behind her left knee as he says, "I'm going to start right here. As you can feel, it's highly sensitive. If you can tolerate that, you'll be fine with anything else I do." He hasn't asked a question, so Ana only nods her hooded head to show that she's understood. Christian chuckles a little and says, "That's my girl."

Ana is left alone for a few seconds, just enough time to try and imagine how much it will hurt having hot wax dripped on her tender skin. She's at first confused when she detects the familiar, musky scent of Christian's massage oil. And then everything else but the exquisite feel of Christian's gentle touch is forced from her mind as he caresses her left leg, his hands slick with oil, and he explains, "This will ensure an easy cleanup, and it's kind of nice, don't you think?"

Squirming against her bonds as his hands glide tantalizingly close to the top of her thigh, Ana groans, "Yes, Sir, very nice."

After what seems like far too short a time, Christian removes his hands. Then he kisses the hollow at the back of her knee and says, "Keep still."

Only a moment later Ana wonders how she'll be able to comply when Christian is back and apparently painting the back of her leg with hot wax. It's both painful and tenderly sensual and Ana can't help a shocked gasp at the conflicting sensations. And then the smell wafts past her nose and her brain isn't quick enough to stop her from exclaiming, "Vanilla!"

Without pausing, Christian softly laughs and says, "It seemed appropriate." And then he stops and, a moment later, stretches his body out along her back. Ana can feel that he's still wearing his jeans and is very aroused. She can't stifle a gasp when his chest hairs travel the length of her back and he murmurs, "God, you're beautiful like this." She's stunned at the feel of his lips through the mesh when he quickly kisses her and, before he moves away for the next stage, whispers in her ear, "By the way, that's your favorite belt that you can feel tight around your wrists." His slight emphasis on the word "tight" makes Ana certain that Christian knows it acts as an order on her muscles and everything clenches in response. Her suspicions are confirmed when Christian then chuckles and says, "You sure are fun to play with, Miss Steele."

Christian moves away for a few seconds and then hot pain centers behind her knee. Ana's not quick enough to stifle a shocked gasp and her limbs automatically strain against their bonds. Gasping for air, with the hood making it difficult, Ana feels like she's suffocating and starts spiraling towards panic. But then Christian's palm is tracing calming circles on her back and his voice holds only concern as he says, "Breathe, baby. Just breathe."

As if by magic, Ana starts to calm down. And then she realizes that, in fact, the suffocating feeling was all in her mind or she would have passed out by now, and that the pain of the wax wasn't that bad…more shocking than anything else. Remembering to trust Christian, Ana banishes the last of her panic and says, "I'm ready, Sir."

Christian's hand on her back stills for a second and then Ana feels the mattress dip as Christian stretches out beside her. He removes the hood and her blindfold. While Ana blinks, as her eyes become acclimatized to the dim light of the playroom, he says, "I think that's enough for today."

Christian is on his side, resting on one elbow so that he can look Ana in the eye, and she can't understand why he looks afraid, so she says, "Did something go wrong? Did it scar my leg?"

Christian smiles a little at that and says, "No, baby. I wouldn't let that happen."

In a moment of clarity, Ana says, "You're scared that it'll be too much and I'll run again."

Christian hesitates and then confesses, "Scared is putting it mildly. It destroyed me when I realized how much I'd hurt you."

"Christian, I won't run and it's not too much, I swear, just…new and, okay, a little frightening and painful, but also exciting and astonishingly erotic. The feelings…it's like I'm permanently in danger, but also in the safest place in the world, because you're in control." Ana can see that Christian is a little reassured, so she pleads, "Don't stop. Not yet. I want to know more."

"About waxplay?"

Confident that she's found the right words, Ana smiles and says, "About me."

Something; desire or excitement, maybe both, flares in Christian's eyes and then he says, "All right, Miss Steele, on to the main event. There won't be any intermission or explanations from now on. Because the whole point is to keep things escalating until you almost can't stand it. So I won't desist when you gasp, groan or whimper, only if you ask me to stop, okay?"

Momentarily distracted by the word "whimper", Ana then confidently declares, "Okay."

Despite her bound arms making it difficult, Christian bothers to tenderly kiss Ana before replacing the blindfold and hood, then moving away from her. A few seconds later he's astride her and apparently naked, his legs clutching her hips and erection hard against her buttocks. Imagining Christian straddling her when she's tied to the bed actually removes Ana's ability to breathe for a few seconds and then she gasps as liquid suddenly splashes onto the middle of her back. Expecting it to be hot, she's surprised when it's room temperature and then smells that it's the massage oil. Without a word, Christian quickly spreads the oil over her back. And then he really starts to massage it in, riding back and forth over her panties as his strong, warm hands mold the curves of her back all the way up to her shoulders. Ana moans as her groin almost painfully tightens in response to his caress. Christian chuckles and says, "You like that, Miss Steele?"

Ana swallows, trying to get some moisture to her mouth, and says, "God, yes…Sir. Please, would you remove my panties?"

"No, baby. If you like what we do today, we can talk about options for next time. But, I seriously doubt that you'll ever develop a taste for hot wax in your anus." Of course, Ana's ass clenches in protest at the notion and Christian laughs, saying, "Yeah, that's what I thought."

When Ana then feels Christian lean to one side, she guesses that he's reaching for the vanilla scented wax and her level of awareness jumps up a notch as she simultaneously longs for the feel of the soft paintbrush while dreading the pain of the hot wax. When the brush touches her skin, Ana finds out that Christian had, as usual, been telling the literal truth; the pain isn't quite as bad as it was on the back of her knee. So, she's able to focus more on the sensual delight of Christian painting her back in long, confident strokes. Soon enough, Ana realizes what the slight pain is doing, as her skin becomes more sensitive with every second.

When Christian pauses for a second, Ana knows that the hotter candle wax is next and her entire body tenses at the thought. But then she remembers Christian's advice to be in the moment and forces every muscle to relax. Next, she explores every sensation, from the hood over her head, to the slight tickle of the cooling wax behind her left knee and then, underlying everything, her body is almost humming with excitement and arousal. Worried that Christian will still be concerned for her, Ana smiles and says, "This is kind of hot…and kind of hot."

Christian chuckles and says, "I'm glad you're enjoying yourself, Miss Steele. Maybe next time I'll let you lie on your back and fuck you while I ladle wax onto your nipples."

It takes Ana's brain a second to catch up with what Christian says, and then she groans and says, "Oh, God, please."

Christian laughs and says, "Next time, Miss Steele."

Suddenly, Ana feels first one, hot drop and then another. Somehow she knows that Christian has put the first drops in line with her nipples and then wonders if he's deliberately done that to distract her from the initial shock of the wax. Of course, it works and her nipples harden to points as she imagines the wax running down her breasts. As if he'd been waiting for her ensuing moan of desire, Christian continues in an apparently random pattern, alternating between dripping the wax and drawing shapes across her back. Not knowing when or where the sensual assault will occur next means that Ana is soon a quivering mess and she begs, "Christian, please, I just want you inside me."

Laughter in his voice, Christian says, "Do you trust me?"

"You know I do."

"Good."

When Ana hears the unmistakable sound of a camera shutter, she tenses and says, "What was that?"

Christian climbs off her as he says, "I'll show you later." Only seconds later Christian removes the hood, then frees Ana's ankles and massages her legs as he says, "Do they work?"

Ana flexes her legs a little and says, "Yeah, I think so."

Without a word, Christian removes her panties and then lifts Ana so that she's on her knees and elbows. Ana knows what happens next and her overwrought nerves are alight with anticipation when she hears the familiar sound of a condom being opened and then feels Christian position himself between her. And then his voice is icy when he says, "Now, what was it you spelled out in Semaphore?"

Wondering if she'll ever get used to Christian's lightning fast mood changes, Ana guesses that this anger is mainly for show, so she lies, "I have no idea what you're talking about, Mr. Grey."

Without a word, Christian begins slowly raking his fingernails down Ana's ribs, peeling wax away as he goes. With her skin already over-sensitive from the wax and constant level of arousal, Ana knows that she cannot endure much of this torture. However, guessing that Christian is enjoying himself, she resolves to hold out as long as possible and bites her lip to stifle a moan, though she can't stop her body writhing in response to his aggressive caress. After several seconds of this tantalizing torment, Christian again asks, "What did you spell out with the Semaphore?"

Not trusting herself to speak, Ana keeps her bottom lip between her teeth and merely shakes her head. When Christian again starts dragging his nails down her delicate flesh, Ana feels as if she's drowning in sensation. After a few more seconds, she no longer has the strength to avoid vocalizing her need and then realizes that, as promised, she's actually whimpering. Christian stops at the sound and Ana gathers enough wits to beg, "Please, Christian, please." When Christian's only response is to reach along her back, readying for more of the same, Ana breaks and cries out, "Bastard! I called you a bastard."

His voice almost breathless with lust, Christian traces a zigzag pattern through the wax as he commands, "Say it again."

Now truly meaning it, Ana hisses, "Bastard!" She's barely finished enunciating the word when Christian slams into her, filling her as much as physically possible and Ana screams in exultation as she finally gets exactly what she wants. After hours of foreplay, Ana knows that her climax isn't far away and she moves against Christian, even as he almost viciously pushes into her. But only when he reaches around to caress both her nipples with one hand, does Ana gasp and, only seconds later, moan and tremble through an orgasm that seems to have no end. Ana is still riding the waves of pleasure when Christian grasps her hips and slams into her one more time, holding her tight against him as he finds his own release.

Ana is wondering how she'll manage to stay conscious when, almost in one movement, Christian exits her body and spins her onto her back. Next, he kneels beside her and unties her belt from the bedhead. Only then does Ana notice that the loop around her wrists is wrapped in a hand towel, presumably to protect her skin. For some reason, the fact that she hadn't even noticed is suddenly very funny and she starts giggling. Christian removes the belt and massages her wrists, a slight smile on his face as he says, "Something funny, Miss Steele."

Shaking her head and fighting the urge to laugh, Ana says, "No, Sir."

Christian's smile widens and he says, "We're done, sweetheart. You don't have to call me _Sir_ anymore."

Ana can't help another giggle and then says, "You called me sweetheart again." And then she notices that something is amiss and asks, "Did I do something wrong?" At Christian's confused frown, she explains, "You're usually holding me by now."

Christian's eyes and voice express only love as he says, "Someone has to clean your back and, if I hold you right now, I'm not going to let you go."

Stunned by the warmth shining from his gaze, Ana silently mouths, "_Oh_."

Christian smiles and says, "So, it _is_ possible to render you speechless." When she then glares at him, he chuckles and says, "On your front."

Stretching out her aching muscles like a cat, Ana does as instructed and says, "You really are a bastard."

Ana gasps when Christian's lips touch the back of her neck and then he says, "You probably shouldn't have said that before finding out _how_ I have to clean your back."

Ana tenses, worried that it might mean more pain and then she relaxes and says, "You're messing with me."

Christian laughs and says, "Yes, baby." And then he explains, "Now, sometimes, this can be part of the play. But, considering how well you did, I'm just going to make it as quick and painless as possible, okay?"

Already feeling sleepy, as her body recovers from its sensory overload, Ana closes her eyes and can only manage, "Mm hmm."

When Christian first starts scraping the layer of wax from her back, Ana spends some seconds trying to picture how he's doing it, because it feels softer than his nails, but harder than his hand. But she's too tired to lift her head and check. After a while, she knows that most of the wax is gone when Christian starts scrubbing her skin with a washcloth. The feeling is so exquisite that Ana can't help a purr of contentment and Christian says, "I thought you might like that. Your skin will be too sensitive for another shower, so I'll clean you with oil for now, okay?"

Now utterly spent, Ana can only say, "Mmm."

When Ana wakes, Christian is carrying her in his arms. On seeing that they're heading for his bedroom, she murmurs, "You going to fuck me senseless now?"

Christian smiles and kisses her forehead, saying, "Ana, you're already senseless and, right now, there's nothing I would rather do than fall asleep in your arms."

Moving slowly enough that he can stop her if he wishes, Ana reaches one hand towards Christian's chest. When he only tenses, but says nothing, she rests her palm against his always warm skin and says, "I think _your_ heart is sweet."

Christian gasps and then shakes his head, saying, "Dark as slate, Miss Steele."

Ana removes her hand and mumbles against his shoulder, "Well, slate is gray, so that works for me."

They've entered the bedroom and Christian says, "Bathroom or bed?"

Cursing the frailties of her body, Ana says, "Bathroom, please."

Christian actually carries her to the toilet and places her on the seat, then grins and says, "Still shy?"

Ana glares at him and says, "If you mean, do I still have the normal, human reservations about peeing while someone is staring at me, then yes."

Chuckling, Christian leaves her to it, shutting the door on his way out. While Ana takes care of pressing matters, she can hear Christian brushing his teeth. After washing her hands, she joins him and only then notices that the unused spare washbasin is now surrounded by a fresh toothbrush, toothpaste, deodorant (her brand, of course) and a hairbrush, almost identical to hers. She's staring at the tableau, absentmindedly caressing the hairbrush, when Christian says, "Hope it's okay. Obviously, you can add whatever you wish. I just thought that, if you're going to spend so much time here, you should be comfortable." When Ana lifts her grateful gaze to his, he pleads, "Oh, Ana, please don't cry. It's just toiletries."

Trying, in vain, to banish the tears, Ana reaches up over his shoulders to his glorious hair and pulls his face towards hers for a kiss. And then there's nothing else to say but, "I love you."

Gently wiping her tears away with one hand, Christian shakes his head and says, "You really are the strangest girl; you won't accept a million dollars from me and you cry over a cheap, plastic hairbrush."

Now calming down, Ana says, "Well, it's been a big day."

Christian laughs in delight and says, "Yes. Yes, it has." And then his voice is subdued as he asks, "A good day?"

So Ana has to kiss him again and then says, "The best day of my life."

With a smile so radiant that it actually hurts Ana's chest, he promises, "No, it's not."

* * *

Author's other note: Two things; never having played with wax like this, I'd be curious to know what I got right and what I got wrong. You can comment here, or find my email, if you're shy. Second; do we want to know how they spend their Sunday, or shall I click on "complete" button? I've a couple of other story ideas for Ana and Christian, but would be just as happy to find out what happens next in this one.


	8. Chapter 8

Author's Note: Just a quickie, so that you'll know I've decided to continue. This story, originally written as a one-shot, on my phone, in the pre-dawn hours as my husband slept beside me, while on vacation in France, is becoming something of an epic.

* * *

On the Rocks: Chapter Eight

Ana cannot know exactly what Christian sees in her eyes after his heartfelt vow. But, even though he's again wearing jeans, she can feel his growing response. So she grins and says, "What happened to falling asleep in my arms?"

Reaching around to grab her ass with both hands, Christian then pulls her body hard against his and says, "Plenty of time for that later."

Ana laughs and says, "If I hadn't seen it myself, I wouldn't believe that you _do_ sleep. You're a hundred watt bulb, Mr. Grey." And then she clasps his arms, silently asking for freedom and explains, "Just need to brush my teeth first."

Christian immediately releases her, spreading his arms wide as he says, "Dental hygiene _is_ important." As Ana turns to the basin, he smacks her ass and adds, "But don't be long."

When Ana whirls around to retaliate, Christian is already out of arm's reach and she says, "Now who's being provocative?"

Clearly unconcerned, Christian kicks his jeans off on his way out as he says, "Well, you'll just have to get your own payback, Miss Steele."

His words suddenly call to mind one of the dreams that haunted her while they were separated, and the memory is enough that Ana brushes her teeth with slightly trembling hands. Worried that Christian will notice her disquiet, Ana takes a moment to relax before leaving the bathroom. She hasn't even joined Christian in the bed when he says, "What's wrong?"

Thinking that she should have known better than to try and conceal it from him, Ana climbs under the covers and moves into his arms, saying, "Nothing; just a silly nightmare that I had last week."

"About us?" When Ana only nods, Christian says, "Tell me."

Afraid to even relive it, let alone have to deal with Christian's reaction, Ana says, "No, really, it was nothing."

Suddenly very serious, Christian lifts Ana's chin so that he can see her eyes and repeats, "Tell me."

Becoming very familiar with _that_ tone of voice, Ana knows that she won't be able to distract him, so she sighs and says, "You were naked and bound to the bed in the playroom."

Christian tenses at her words, but says only, "And?"

Snuggling against him, seeking reassurance and forgiveness, Ana says, "And I was caressing your chest."

Christian remains immobile and dispassionately asks, "Anything else?"

Ana shakes her head and says, "No. I woke up sweating and shaking like a leaf. That's all I can remember." Christian is silent so long that Ana whispers, "I'm sorry."

His voice even, betraying nothing, Christian says, "For what; dreaming? Hardly a crime, Ana."

Truly concerned at his dispassionate tone, Ana says, "Please, Christian, talk to me."

His voice still chillingly calm, Christian says, "About what?"

"What are you thinking?"

Christian sighs and says, "That I wish you hadn't told me about your dream."

Running one hand along the stubble on his chin, Ana says, "Then, please, let's just pretend that I didn't, okay?"

Christian turns his head enough to kiss her palm and says, "No can do, Miss Steele." And then he asks, "Why did you call it a nightmare? Seems like a perfect dream for you."

Relieved that Christian seems to be recovering from his shock, Ana shakes her head as she remembers the vision and explains, "It was awful. I was both in the dream and watching it. Even before my dream-self touched you, I was horrified. And then…God, the look on your face. You were terrified. And…and you screamed when I touched you. It's not something I ever want to do in real life, Christian."

With a kind smile, Christian says, "But we know that's a lie, don't we? Even if you hadn't mentioned that caressing me is something you crave, I'm pretty sure shaky, sweaty nightmares indicate that the subtext is becoming text."

"But I don't want to touch you like that, Christian, I swear. Not until you're ready, anyway."

Christian's detached air is back when he asks, "And if I'm never ready?"

Forced to acknowledge a slight twinge of pain at the idea, Ana confesses, "I wouldn't like it. But it doesn't alter how I feel about you…makes me love you more, if anything."

His tone harsh, Christian says, "You're talking about pity."

Shaking her head, Ana insists, "No, not pity. Please, Christian, can we drop it?"

Christian is quiet for a few seconds and then he says, "I couldn't be bound, Ana, and I'm not ready for the chest, not really."

Confused, Ana says, "I know that."

"And, if I ask you to stop, you'll do it immediately?"

Horrified, when she realizes that Christian intends a scene that will bring them close to her nightmare, Ana tries to squirm out of his embrace. But Christian's arms and legs lock around her, easily preventing her escape. So she desperately struggles against him, even as she's careful to avoid touching his chest, and begs, "Christian, _please_. Please don't make me do this. I don't want to hurt you."

Shocked at her panicked efforts to escape, Christian soothes, "Easy, baby, easy. I'm not going to make you do anything. Just calm down." As usual, Christian's words work their magic on her body and Ana is able to relax, though she can't stop shaking. Awed, Christian says, "You're trembling. I'm the one with issues about this. Why are you so afraid?"

As the tremors subside, Ana can only repeat, "I don't want to hurt you."

Suddenly desperate for Ana to understand, not just about this, but about him, Christian says, "Just now, in the playroom, was there any pain?"

Confused, Ana says, "Well, yes, though it wasn't nearly as bad as I'd expected. Once I remembered to trust you and just go with it, I was able to enjoy myself."

"You've called it the Red Room of Pain. Do you still think that?"

Embarrassed that he remembers her uneducated nickname for the playroom, Ana blushes and says, "No. If anything it's the Red Room of…Love, I guess." Struggling to articulate feelings that are still very new to her, Ana hesitates and then continues, "Even as you bind me and hurt me, I feel…cherished, in a way. Because I know that every single second you're thinking about what pleases me, and doing so gives you pleasure. It's…" When words fail her, Ana apologizes, "I'm sorry, Christian. I can't really explain it, but it's definitely not about pain."

With a grateful smile, Christian says, "No, baby, you explained it just fine. It's not about pain; it's about trust and surrender." Relaxing his grip on Ana, he continues, "I trust you, Ana. In some ways, even more than I do myself. And, if you're willing, I'd like to surrender to you." Visibly moved by his simple request, Ana nevertheless remains silent and clenches her jaw in defiance of the idea. So Christian uses her own words against her when he pleads, "Please, baby, I need to know more about me, too."

Ana considers for a few seconds and then says, "You'll tell me if it's getting too much for you?"

Breathing a sigh of relief, Christian vows, "I will."

With one, deep breath, summoning her courage, Ana says, "All right, Grey. How do we do this?"

Christian smiles and says, "Well, first, I think you'll need to kiss me, or I won't be able to proceed. And then I'll lie on my stomach and…well, I have no idea what happens after that. I've never done this before."

Finally excited about the idea, Ana grins and says, "That would be the trust part, then?"

"Exactly." And then Christian kisses Ana, until they're both reassured and holds her close as he says, "Thank you, Miss Steele."

Without another word, Christian turns over and crosses his arms under his head, his face turned away from her. Ana almost can't breathe as she uncovers his back, her heart beating so fast that she wonders if it will last the distance. It's only when she lifts herself up onto one elbow that she notices the large, purpling bruise behind Christian's right shoulder. All else forgotten, Ana exclaims, "Christian, you're hurt!"

"Huh? Oh, it's nothing, baby; a side effect of tackling you this morning. Did I remember to thank you for that?"

Ana chuckles and says, "You're welcome." Suddenly, Ana can't stop herself from reaching towards the bruise as she asks, "You sure you're okay?" When Christian gasps and then moans, his entire body tensing, Ana withdraws, saying, "God, I'm sorry. I barely touched you. Maybe this isn't such a good idea."

Shaking his head, Christian insists, "No. Do it again, just like that."

Reassured by the sincerity of his request, Ana slowly reaches towards the wound. Only when Christian gasps before she's even touched him, does Ana realize what's going on and her nipples contract in response to his eager flesh as she breathes, "Oh."

"Yeah. This might actually work. But, go slow, okay? It's still…painfully evocative."

Hoping to ease the tension, Ana jokes, "Are you trying to tell me that you were beaten with breasts, Mr. Grey?"

Christian laughs and says, "No, Miss Steele. I've not been that lucky, though there's still time."

Her mind suddenly crystal clear on what Christian needs, Ana says, "Do you trust me?"

Without hesitation, Christian declares, "I trust you."

Satisfied with the level of conviction in his voice, Ana removes the bed covers from his entire body and starts with his feet, kissing the instep as he showed her. Christian's feet curl slightly, but he remains still and says nothing. Moving slowly enough that Christian will always know what's coming next, Ana zigzags kisses up his legs, deliberately dragging her nipples along his skin at every opportunity. By the time she reaches the back of his knees, Christian is panting. When she presses her lips to the crease at the top of his right thigh, he moans and gasps, "God, Ana, you'll be the death of me."

Ana chuckles and mirrors a kiss on his other thigh, then says, "Possibly, but you'll die a happy man."

After a deep, shuddering breath, Christian says, "I will if you're doing this. Yet another brilliant plan, Miss Steele."

"I'm glad you approve, Mr. Grey." When Ana pushes one knee between Christian's legs, he readily spreads them, without being told. Ana positions herself between his knees and says, "From now on, you'll feel only my nipples. And, if I can manage not to come, I'll travel up your back until you ask me to stop, okay?"

After a second, Christian asks, "Just your nipples?"

"Yes, I promise."

Ana sees the slight movement of Christian's head when he nods and then he says, "I think I'm okay with that." And then he laughs and says, "Flynn is going to have a field day with this."

About to resume her exploration of his body, Ana pauses and says, "You'll tell your shrink about this?"

"Of course. Therapy only works if I tell him everything, though it took me several years to realize that."

"So, you trust him, too?"

After a pause, Christian says, "Well, I'm not about to let him caress my body with his nipples, but I trust him with all my secrets, yes."

Only now realizing something, Ana says, "Dr. Flynn is into BDSM."

"Yes, baby. Not much point sharing my fuckupedness with someone who has no idea what I'm talking about."

Trying to imagine what their conversations would be like, Ana observes, "Your therapy sessions must be…interesting."

Christian laughs and says, "Mostly boring, actually, with moments of pure rage from me and frustrating tranquility from him." And then he asks, "Are you stalling on purpose?"

Realizing her error, Ana says, "Oh, sorry, no…not consciously, but I _am_ nervous, so maybe." After a deep breath, she says, "Thank you, Christian, for bullying me into trying this."

Christian smiles and says, "So far, truly my pleasure, Anastasia."

As her body flares with familiar heat at the sound of her full name from his lips, Ana wonders if she'll be able to control her own desire enough to ensure Christian's pleasure. But there's nothing she can do about it, so she shrugs away that particular concern and gently touches her nipples to Christian's buttocks. Smiling a little at his soft gasp, Ana braces herself with hands either side of his body and traces tiny circles on his willing flesh. When they're both panting and Christian is trembling slightly, Ana places one foot outside his legs, to ensure she can keep the rest of her body from touching him and slowly trails tendrils of pleasure up to the sculpted dimples on his lower back. At Christian's loud groan, Ana hesitates, and he says, "Don't stop, Ana, _please_."

Satisfied that he's coping just fine, Ana smiles and resumes her caress, saying, "Yes, Sir."

Again wondering how the hell she'll be able to avoid yet another orgasm, as she admires Christian's martial-arts trained back, Ana tries to distract herself by focusing on following the curves of his muscles, and keeping everything but her now painfully erect nipples from him. Amazingly, it works. So, when Christian's passion becomes so great that he moans and reaches up to grip the bedhead, even as he unconsciously arches up to meet her breasts, Ana is detached enough to marvel at how much progress he's achieved in such a short time and she leans to whisper by his ear, "I love you."

Seemingly in the space of one breath, wondering how he can possibly be _that_ fast, Ana is on her back and Christian is pressed against her, kissing Ana as if his he's trying to meld their bodies together. Just as Ana feels as if she's going to pass out, Christian suddenly ends the kiss and gasps, "God, Ana, that was…thank you."

Proud of them both, Ana smiles and again asks, "You going to fuck me senseless now?"

And then her Christian is back, in his triumphant smile, as he says, "Yes, ma'am."

* * *

Where credit's due: To AriadneInNaxos, for advice and inspiration. To everyone else kind enough to comment and/or vote, I hope you already have your reward.


	9. Chapter 9

On the Rocks: Chapter Nine

When Ana wakes in Christian's bed, she's alone. A glance at the nearby clock confirms that it's near dawn on Sunday morning, and she realizes that almost twenty four hours have passed since she found Christian kneeling at her doorstep. Thinking back over the day brings a smile to her face and a slight heat to her pleasantly aching limbs. And then she blushes at the memory of their most recent lovemaking; there can be no other word for Christian's worship of her body with only his lips and tongue.

After practically bringing her to climax with his mouth on her right ear alone, he'd tenderly traveled south, leaving a blazing trail down her neck and over her collarbone, and then torturously slowly mirrored the process on the opposite side. Only when his warm, soft lips closed, in turn, over her already sensitive nipples did Ana beg him to finish. But he'd only laughed softly and continued his journey, over her ribs and navel, teasing the delicate flesh at her hips until she almost couldn't stand it and then, and she blushes anew at the memory, explored inside her as if he literally couldn't get enough of her.

After treasuring Christian's body and then him showing her the same courtesy, it took only seconds with his tongue on her clit before Ana had climaxed; long and loud. And then, given his need to always be in control of his emotions, she'd been surprised to see that Christian's hands had trembled as he'd fitted a condom and fucked her as if he only had seconds to live. She'd had her sixth orgasm for the day as Christian had his fourth, calling out her name while he clasped her to him. Afterwards, they'd wordlessly embraced each other and fallen asleep within minutes.

All these memories flash through Ana's mind in a matter of seconds, but it's enough that she's genuinely missing the feel of Christian's arms around her. Not willing to roam the corridors naked, in case one of his staff are awake at this hour, Ana fossicks around until she finds a t-shirt and track pants, then goes looking for him. Christian's apartment has a permanent, ambient light just bright enough to let Ana see where she's going. He's obviously not at the piano, so she heads to his study and finds him there, wearing only his jeans and an intense frown as the flickering, blue-white glow from his laptop illuminates his torso.

Sensitive to his need for privacy, Ana dismisses a playful urge to sneak up on him and slowly enters the room, silently announcing her presence. She's almost to him when Christian looks up and sets Ana's stomach doing somersaults with a brilliant, welcoming smile and reaches one arm out for her as he says, "Good morning, Miss Steele. How are your muscles today?"

Smiling at his constant concern for her comfort, Ana sits across his lap and says, "Deliciously sore, thank you for asking." Daring to touch the top of his injured shoulder, she asks, "And you?"

Flexing his right arm, Christian says, "It's fine, Ana, just a little tender. Would you like a massage today?"

Guessing that he's volunteering, Ana grins and says, "Yes, please."

Christian smiles at her enthusiasm and says, "Not me, baby. There's no way I could stay detached enough to do you any good. But Diana is an expert at unkinking muscles."

Wondering if he intended the pun, Ana raises an eyebrow and says, "Un_kink_ing?"

Christian's rich laugh is one of pure joy and he kisses her before saying, "That, too. What do you say?"

Suddenly worried, Ana says, "She's not…an ex, is she?"

With a bemused grin, Christian says, "No, Ana, you know that I don't hire lovers."

"And yet I now work for you."

Christian smiles and says, "Fair point, Miss Steele. But you appear to be the exception to every rule."

Unable to be upset, after such an admission, Ana smiles and says, "I'd love a massage, thank you. What time?"

"She'll be here after lunch, around one." And then Christian tilts his head to one side and asks, "And would you like to attend a charity benefit this evening?"

Ana considers for a moment and then asks, "Benefiting whom?"

So Christian has to kiss her again and then says, "An excellent question, Miss Steele; Aids benefit. They're usually boring as hell, but you'll get to meet Brit. He's great fun, possibly even more well-read than you are and, I'm told, an excellent dancer."

Confused, Ana says, "You won't mind if I dance with him?"

Christian smiles and says, "He's gay, Ana; always has been and always will be. Not even I'm that jealous."

"So, you're not homophobic?"

Christian actually laughs at the idea and says, "You know my appetites in that area are hardly mainstream. Assuming that it's consensual, why would I give a fuck who someone fucks?"

Blushing at getting it wrong, Ana says, "No, well, I didn't think so. But…when I interviewed you that first day, you got so angry and I wondered…"

When she trails off, Christian kisses her and says, "I was only angry that you'd asked such a personal question. Mainly what I remember about that interview is how much I wanted to bend you over and fuck you until you begged for mercy."

His words go straight to her groin, and Ana's mouth drops open before she recovers enough to say, "Not really?" When Christian only raises one eyebrow, Ana stammers, "B..but you were so detached, so…" And then Ana smiles, now knowing him well enough to suddenly realize what his aloof manner had meant, and she continues, "So in control."

Christian offers her a lazy, sexy grin and says, "Exactly."

"So, what was it about me that you liked?"

Clearly still amused, Christian's eyes are shining as he says, "There was no _like_, Ana; just lust. I've never had such a strong reaction to a woman. You turned my world upside down that day, and it's still recovering." When Ana only stares at him, Christian explains, "It was everything, from the moment I saw your beautiful eyes, until the sound of my name from your eminently fuckable mouth as you said goodbye." Brushing his thumb across her bottom lip, leaving pin-pricks of hot sensation in its wake, Christian continues, "And you _know_ what it does to me when you bite your lip." With Ana apparently still in shock, Christian smiles and says, "This can't be news to you, Ana. You know how much I want you."

Shaking her head, as if coming out of a daze, Ana says, "No…yes. It's just…hearing you say it…I had no idea."

"Even though you felt the same way?"

Blushing at his accurate guess, Ana says, "I did, though I didn't actually know enough to recognize what the feelings meant. I'd just never wanted anyone to touch me like you have since then…frequently since then."

Sliding one hand up under the t-shirt to caress her midriff, Christian says, "Not quite frequently enough, I think."

Her body already responding to his touch, Ana sighs in pleasure and says, "I agree, Mr. Grey."

With a grin, Christian suddenly ejects Ana from his lap, saying, "Unfortunately, I still have a lot of work to do, if I'm going to spend another day with you. So you'll have to wait. Your clothes and other things are in your room. Help yourself to breakfast, if you're hungry. Or you can get some more sleep and I'll wake you when I'm done."

Ana smiles and says, "I'm not getting back to sleep after what you just told me about the day we met." And then she quickly kisses him and promises, "I'll wait for you before I breakfast or shower. Don't be long, okay?"

Obviously pleased with her request, Christian smiles and says, "You'll miss me?"

So that he won't be in any doubt, Ana kisses him again and then turns to leave, saying, "Already do."

Once in the corridor, Ana has no idea what to do without Christian. But then, curious about what "other things" might mean, she heads for her bedroom where she finds that Christian has kept everything he gave her, including the few things that she'd returned when she left him. Both touched and a little afraid at this evidence of his attachment to her, Ana sits on top of the bed, fires up the Mac and spends some time online while listening to music. Soon bored, with still no sign of Christian, she remembers that her clothes are strewn around the apartment and heads to the TV room for her blouse and jacket, Blackberry in hand. She's barely arrived when the phone beeps a message alert. Ana smiles, on seeing that it's Christian, and reads, "Where are you?"

So Ana knows that he's already checked his and her rooms, and she decides to have some fun with him. Quickly scanning for a hiding place, Ana makes sure to silence the phone and then sends, "Why don't you come find me?"

Only seconds later a message from Christian says, "Ana, where are you?"

Smiling at how she can almost hear his disapproving tone, even via this media, Ana returns, "If you find me, you can have me." The phone silently flashes, as Christian calls her. Smiling, Ana cancels the call and then texts, "No cheating!" When there's no reply, Ana imagines Christian's face registering both anger and arousal as he begins his search, and her heart beats a little faster at how much fun it will be when he finds her.

Only fifteen minutes later, Ana hears muted footsteps approaching and holds her breath while shielding the phone screen, in case it flashes. Seconds later, the footsteps move on and Ana is left with mixed feelings of pride, at outwitting Christian, and disappointment that he didn't find her. She considers letting him win, but then remembers how much fun their play was yesterday when Christian's desire had a chance to build. So she stretches out her overworked muscles and then once again hugs her knees to her chest and settles in for the long haul.

Another fifteen minutes pass before Ana receives the text, "Okay, you win. Where are you?"

Smiling at how much he would have hated admitting defeat, she replies, "Win what?"

Several seconds pass before his next message, and Ana gasps as she reads, "Wash my back?"

Her fingers trembling enough that the task proves difficult, Ana types, "Meet u in the shower."

Even as Ana enters Christian's bedroom, she can hear the shower running and smiles at his impatience before stripping off and leaving her phone and clothes on his bed. At the bathroom door, she has just enough time to register the fact that the shower stall is empty before Christian grabs her and pushes her face-first against the wall. Her groin already tightening at his aggressive foreplay, Ana opens her mouth to ask if he enjoyed their game when Christian's voice by her ear growls, "Not a word. Not a _fucking_ word!"

Ana knows that he won't hurt her, not really, but the anger in his voice is enough to set her already elevated heart rate through the roof, and her body burns with renewed passion in anticipation of his next move. Christian grabs her wrists and spreads them wide, pressing her palms against the wall. Next, he silently pushes at the inside of each ankle with one foot, forcing her legs apart, even as he hauls backwards on her hips, until she's leaning against the wall and slightly hunched over. With one hand firm on the back of Ana's neck, Christian commands, "Don't move."

Having defied him enough to ensure this result, Ana does exactly as told, silently contemplating the wall tiles as Christian turns off the shower and then moves around the room before returning to her. Ana nearly jumps out of her skin when the tip of a wet, white towel loudly smacks onto the wall beside her head. She turns to look at Christian, but is halted by his resolute tone when he again orders, "Don't move!"

Already trembling, as adrenalin courses through her body, Ana returns her gaze to the tiles and tries to calm her galloping heartbeat. Several seconds later, just as she's finally relaxing, the towel smacks into the wall on the other side of her head, and she can't help ducking her head at the implied danger. But then she resumes her stance, now concerned that the trembling will cause her legs to fail her.

When the towel almost gently slaps across her back, Ana instinctively flinches and then relaxes when she notices that it hadn't hurt. Next, Christian slowly drags the towel down Ana's back, and her buttocks clench when she realizes where he's heading. Sure enough, the towel disappears at her lower back and Ana braces for the impact, while trusting that Christian knows enough to keep it fun.

When the towel snaps across Ana's buttocks, it hurts more than expected and she can't stifle a shocked gasp at the impact, even as an electric thrill goes through her as the pain somehow combines with her desire, creating a heady mix that threatens to overwhelm her. She's debating whether or not to ask Christian to stop when the towel again gently slaps across her back and Christian asks, "More?"

That simple reminder, that they're both in control of how much she endures, gives Ana all the strength she needs to find out yet more about her limits and she's surprised at her calm tone when she pleads, "One more."

Ana can almost hear Christian's answering smile and then the towel meanders down her spine, its cold touch sending shivers through her entire body. This time Christian twirls the cloth over Ana's ass, caressing and soothing her flesh with the cool fabric. And then the towel is gone from her skin and, less than a breath later, snaps across her already tender cheeks. The pain sends ripples of shock through her groin and down her legs, until Ana is a quivering mess of sensation and she gasps, "Enough."

Ana hears the towel fall to the floor and then Christian gently caresses her ass, his fingers tantalizingly close to where she wants him to be, as he asks, "Enough of the towel, or enough of me?"

Still in shock, Ana can only shake her head at first, and then she recovers the power of speech and vows, "No, never…never enough of you, Christian."

A moment later, Ana hears the familiar sound of a condom packet being ripped open and idly marvels that such a utilitarian act on Christian's part can add to her passion. And then all idle thoughts are driven from her mind as Christian grasps her hips and slowly enters her, filling her with everything he is and has as he kisses the back of her neck and murmurs, "That's what I thought."

Christian hasn't asked her to move, so Ana does her best to stay in position as Christian moves against her, feeling like he's liquefying her insides and turning her legs to jelly. Next, his hands tenderly caress up her ribs and along her arms, to entwine his fingers in hers and Ana smiles as his chest hairs tickle her back. When she then feels Christian's erect nipples against her skin, Ana flashes back to the last time they made love and she's suddenly drowning in a torrent of love for this undeniably damaged and extraordinarily beautiful man. But only when Christian first kisses and then gently bites her shoulders, causing Ana's body to convulse with need, is it too much and she says, "Christian, I can't…I'm going to pass out."

Somehow, they're then on the floor, still joined, and Christian cradles Ana to him as he asks, "Better?"

Amazingly, it is, and Ana moves against Christian, encouraging him to continue as she says, "Much, thank you."

Christian kisses her shoulder and says, "Tomorrow morning, breakfast first, then fuck, okay?"

Something about the phrase triggers a distant alarm in Ana's subconscious, but it's too far away to really register. Just happy that his concern for her hasn't made him stop, she says, "Okay." Gentler now, Christian moves within her as he pushes her hair out of the way to kiss and tease her earlobe, even as his other hand slides up her midriff to her breasts. Ana groans in frustration as Christian deliberately caresses everywhere but her nipples. She feels him smile against her neck and, desperate for more, she utters, "Bastard."

Christian chuckles and says, "It won't work this time, Miss Steele. I've already punished you today."

Ana can tell that he's in earnest, so she reaches back to entwine her fingers in his hair and then pulls his head forward as she turns towards him. When her lips are by his ear, she pours everything she feels for him into her voice as she whispers one word; "Christian."

Christian gasps, moans and then, too fast for Ana's brain to catch up with how he does it, turns Ana on her back and almost brutally enters her again, as his mouth hungrily closes on hers. The cold tiles of his en suite are not kind to Ana's back. But the discomfort barely registers, because she has her Fifty and he most definitely has her. Christian's frenzied passion grabs hold of Ana and takes her with him, until she comes just before he does, rewarding him again with the sound of his name as he holds himself above her for a second, then collapses, still aware enough to take some of the weight on his elbows.

They stay like that for who knows how long and then Christian seems to remember himself and lifts his head to lovingly kiss Ana before asking, "You okay?"

Her smile is probably answer enough, but she says, "Better than okay."

Reassured, Christian smiles and kisses her again, then says, "Wait here."

Ana watches him dispose of the condom and quickly wash his hands before leaving the bathroom. A little mystified as to his mission, she nevertheless does as instructed, only sitting up to get more comfortable. But she almost immediately regrets it when she again feels dizzy. Seconds later, Christian returns with an uncapped bottle of water and hands it over as he commands, "Drink."

Given that his concern is apparently justified, Ana makes no comment about his imperiousness tone this time and drinks half the bottle without pause. Christian's worried expression eases a little at her obedience and he says, "You're still pale. Maybe food before shower?"

Already feeling better, Ana nevertheless knows that Christian won't rest until he's sure she's all right. So she sighs and says, "Okay." However, when Christian then scoops her up in his arms, she protests, "Christian, I can walk!"

Christian only shakes his head and declares, "You're not fainting, not on ceramic tiles." Ana gives up and lets Christian place her in the bed. He pulls the covers up over her and presses his lips to hers one more time, before saying, "I'll just be a few minutes. You'll stay here?"

Mostly resigned to her fate, Ana offers a mock salute and says, "Yes, Sir."

Christian's eyes flash anger at her impudence, but he says nothing and quickly dons his jeans before leaving the room. As promised, only minutes later, Christian returns with a bowl of Ana's favorite muesli, complete with a dollop of Greek yoghurt. Genuinely moved that he's bothered to make her breakfast as she'd want it, Ana is regretting her earlier insolence as she says, "Thank you, Mr. Grey. Your bedside manner is impeccable."

His tone indicating that he means something else entirely, Christian leers at her and says, "As is yours, Miss Steele."

They're once again relaxed as Ana pauses eating long enough to say, "Christian, you almost really fucked me senseless this time. Give it a rest."

Suitably chastised, Christian actually looks a little ashamed as he says, "Yes, Miss Steele."

After a while, Ana asks, "You're not eating?"

"I will, when you're a normal color again."

The pain in his voice leads Ana to say, "I'm sorry."

Christian shrugs and admits, "Not your fault. I should have been paying attention." And then he runs a hand through his hair and says, "But you…you get me quite worked up, Anastasia."

Ana can't help a laugh at that and observes, "I've noticed." And then, concerned with how upset Christian is, she says, "You know that it's not up to you, right?" When he only looks confused, she explains, "I'm an adult, Christian. And, other than for play, I'm not, nor will I ever be, your submissive. So my care is not your responsibility."

Still confused, Christian says, "I know you're not my Sub, Ana. But I still care about you and will do what I can to ensure your wellbeing."

Frustrated with trying to explain something that is almost a foreign concept to Christian, Ana repeats, "But it's not up to you. If I skip or delay a meal, that's my choice. It's nothing to do with you."

Christian runs a hand through his hair and says, "I hear what you're saying, baby. But you might as well be speaking Hungarian, for all the sense it makes. I just…I've lived this way my entire adult life. I'm not sure it's going to change anytime soon. And, you have to admit, delaying breakfast was not the best idea."

Ana nods and says, "Well, yes. Upon reflection, I'll admit that keeping up my strength on the weekends that I'm with you is a good idea."

Suddenly, there's a subtle but significant change in the atmosphere between them and those distant alarms in Ana's mind peel out like the bells of Notre Dame when Christian icily asks, "Weekends?"

Sensing a bigger issue, Ana's heart rate escalates as she says, "You think that I've moved in with you."

Still frighteningly calm, Christian says, "Clearly, you think otherwise."

Afraid of his apparent detachment, because she knows Christian well enough to comprehend that icy calm is one of his last resort coping mechanisms, Ana considers her words and then says, "I love you, Christian, and I don't see that changing…ever. But we've barely been back together twenty four hours, and the fact that we've already disagreed twice before I've finished my breakfast shows how far we have to go before we can really be a couple and…well, you get me worked up, too. I can't think straight when I'm around you. Now, I'm happy to throw out the paperwork, such as it is, and we can look into whether our work schedules will permit time together during the week. Because I think we're well past the stage where we need a contract to dictate what we want from each other. But…I'm not moving in with you. Not yet, anyway. Like I said, this needs to work, because I can't imagine my life being worth much without you. These past few weeks I got a glimpse of what that would be like and…I didn't enjoy it."

Seemingly reassured by her words, Christian covers her hands, where they still hold the cereal bowl, and eagerly says, "All the more reason, baby. If you're here, we can see each other every day, fuck like ferrets and have a wonderful time." Once again confident, he grins and says, "Besides, you know that you'll just be pining for me twenty-four/seven if you're not here."

Concerned by the "if", because it indicates that he's not yet swayed, but glad that Christian's at least willing to discuss it, Ana smiles at his words and says, "True. But I meant it yesterday and it's just as true today; I'm not ready to live with you. Soon, I think. But not yet."

Ana holds her breath when Christian's demeanor is once again calm as he takes the bowl from her hands and almost tenderly places in on the dresser. She only exhales when he climbs under the covers, snaking his arms around her and resting his head on her stomach, seeking comfort. Recognizing that Christian must be feeling very vulnerable, to let her witness his need like this, Ana deliberately avoids touching his shoulders or back. Instead she caresses one arm, where it rests across her abdomen, and soothingly runs her hands through his hair. Sounding forlorn enough to wrench Ana's heart, Christian murmurs, "Do you really intend to leave in the morning?"

Struggling to keep the tears at bay, Ana takes a deep, shuddering breath and says, "Tonight, Christian, after the benefit. I need time to get ready for work in the morning, and we left my place in such a hurry that I didn't even bring my purse, let alone a change of clothes." When Christian doesn't react to this news, Ana suddenly guesses why she hadn't seen Taylor lurking in the corridors this morning and she says, "Did you have him fetch everything I own, or just a few things?"

"Enough for a week. He'll get the rest later."

Moving from compassion to anger, Ana tries to push Christian away, but she might as well try and move a building. So she quickly gives up the struggle and says, "No, he won't. Now, get off me, Christian."

Again left only enough time to marvel at Christian's speed, Ana is suddenly flat on her back beneath him, her arms pinned above her head by one of his hands, while the other clasps her chin as he kisses her. Ana knows that the gesture is from fear and anger, not love and desire, but her body doesn't seem to care and passion courses through her like a brushfire. When Christian suddenly ends the kiss, Ana can only gaze up at him in shock, grieving the loss of his mouth on hers even as her anger towards him builds. Apparently pleased with what he sees in her eyes, Christian grins and says, "You're not leaving. You live here."

Becoming genuinely concerned about how far Christian's desperation will push him, Ana calms her breathing and gently says, as if to a frightened animal, "I _am_ leaving, Christian. We'll talk every day during the week and, with your permission, I'd like to return on Friday evening and again stay the weekend. But, right now, you need to release me, because I don't want this."

Christian looks wary and a little confused at her words. But then his eyes gleam with predatory intent and his hand leaves her chin to gently sooth her swollen lips with his fingertips as his gaze fixes on Ana's, watching her reaction. Ana manages to minimize the trembling of her lips at his touch. But, as his skilled fingers leave her lips and wander, tantalizingly slowly to her earlobe, she knows that he's retracing the path that his mouth took over her body only last night and she hears bells again, this time of doom. His grin widening when he recognizes her surrender, Christian's caress travels down her neck as he mocks, "You don't want this, Miss Steele?"

Ana considers using a safe word. But, despite Christian's smile, this is most definitely _not_ play and the most honest part of her admits that she's not completely certain that it would work, anyway. Instead, before his hand reaches her breasts and her body takes over, she rather breathlessly says, "No, I don't. And, if you continue, this is rape."

Visibly rocked by her choice of words, Christian's gaze darkens and he snaps, "_Rape_? Ana, you're panting with need for me. There's not a single part of you that doesn't want me to fuck you right now." To support his argument, Christian places his hand between her legs and gently cups her, promising more. Ana silently curses her body's betrayal, when her groin constricts in response to his caress and arches into his palm. Christian laughs at her response and says, "See? Your cunt makes the decisions here, and I own it."

Literally shocked by his use of that particular profanity, Ana regains some semblance of control and tries to instill authority into her voice, disappointed that it instead sounds more like a plea, when she says, "_I_ make my decisions, Christian, and I don't want to fuck; not now, and not ever like this." But then her strength returns and she confidently declares, "If you proceed, I'll never forgive you." At first unsure if she's imagined it, Ana is then certain that Christian's expression softens a little, so she begs, "Please, darling, let's talk about this. We can work it out if you just talk to me."

As if he'd never intended anything else, Christian suddenly releases her and rolls onto his side next to her as he pouts, "What do you expect me to say, Ana? You're going to leave me again and nothing I say makes a damn bit of difference."

Her body shaking like a leaf at the close call, Ana tries, and fails, to calm herself. Before she dissolves into a blubbering mess, she says, "I love you, Christian, but you scared me just now." The tears are already forming as she pleads, "You can't ever do that again, okay?"

Studying her face, visibly distressed by what he sees there, Christian slowly nods and promises, "Okay."

Somewhat reassured by his sincerity, Ana blinks away the tears and says, "Tell me what you're never to do again, Christian, so I'll know that you've understood."

Looking suitably contrite, Christian's considers for a few seconds before saying, "I swear to you, Anastasia, I'll never again try and use your body's need for me to win an argument."

Finally able to relax, Ana smiles at that and says, "It really does need you, doesn't it?"

Reassured, Christian also dares a slight smile and says, "No more than mine needs you. My dick is practically busting through the denim here." And then his voice is pain as he begs, "Ana, don't leave."

Not yet trusting her body, Ana resists the urge to comfort Christian with her touch. Instead, she shakes her head and declares, "Not leaving; temporarily returning to my apartment. I'll call you when I get there, we'll email every day and be together again in a week."

Trying a different tactic, Christian deliberately echoes her words when he says, "I don't want this."

Incredibly relieved that Christian is actually opening dialogue, instead of behaving like an angst-ridden adolescent, Ana says, "Clearly. But you need to be specific; what is it, specifically, that you don't want?"

"I don't want you to live anywhere other than here, with me."

"Why?"

Squirming at having to admit it, Christian confesses, "I'm afraid that you won't come back."

"Even though I've promised to do so? Even though I love you and need you? Even though you trust me?"

Still embarrassed, Christian doesn't quite meet her eyes as he admits, "Even so."

Only now realizing that words aren't nearly enough to overcome a fear that even Christian understands is irrational, Ana takes one of his hands and places it over her heart. Mesmerized by the gesture, Christian doesn't notice that her other hand is reaching towards his chest and his breath catches as her palm makes contact, his gaze snapping to hers. Having well and truly captured his attention, Ana vows, "You're in my heart, Christian, just as I'm in yours. Wherever we are, we're together. When you trust yourself, you'll accept that." Ana applies a little pressure to their hands and concludes, "Until then, have faith in _this_, okay? Have faith in us."

Christian's face registers surprise, fear, admiration and then confusion as Ana speaks. And then he grins and says, "Why on earth did you choose me?"

Finally satisfied that they'll be okay, Ana also grins and then says, "I'm sure you meant to ask why my _cunt_ chose you."

Christian actually blushes bright red and winces as he says, "I'm sorry."

Surprised and pleased by this uncharacteristic response, Ana returns his hands to him as she smiles and says, "It's all right, Christian. You were only stating the obvious; whatever label you use, it's yours."

Christian sighs in relief and then says, "Can I have breakfast now?"

Ana lifts one eyebrow and says, "You don't want to do something about your denim-busting issue?"

Sudden desire flares in Christian's eyes, but then he says, "Yes. But it'll have to wait. I'm hungry, you need a cup of tea and Greene will be here in an hour, so I'm guessing you'll want to shower before then."

Only mildly annoyed, Ana says, "And that's another thing, Grey. You really need to work on asking me about stuff like this, instead of organizing my life and letting me know later."

Confused, Christian says, "You'd rather use condoms for the rest of our lives? Because that's approaching a hard limit for me, Ana."

"No, I want to get rid of the nasty things as much as you do. But…" At his obvious confusion, Ana smiles in surrender and says, "I'm speaking Hungarian again, aren't I?"

Christian beams at her and jokes, "Sorry, I can't understand a word you're saying." But then he quickly kisses her and says, "I'll work on it, okay? In the meantime, get dressed and come and watch me eat breakfast. Taylor should be back soon and you can change into your own clothes." When Ana looks wary, he adds, "And then take the rest back to your place when you go home after the benefit, okay?"

Smiling at his concise phrasing, Ana says, "Okay."

Ana quickly changes into the borrowed clothes and then they head hand-in-hand to the kitchen. They meet Taylor on the way and he's carrying her suitcase, so Ana says, "Oh, thanks, Taylor, but I'm not staying. I'll just grab a few things that I need for today. And would you please put it back in the car this evening?"

She's unsurprised and only a little annoyed when Taylor looks to Christian for instruction. At Christian's nod, Taylor says, "Certainly, Miss Steele. I'll just carry it to your room."

Something about his tone causes those distant alarm bells to ring again, but Ana can't work out why, so she leads the way, saying only, "Thank you."

Once the bodyguard puts the case on her bed, Ana politely dismisses him. However, after an acknowledging nod, he simply backs up a couple of steps and assumes a vigilant stance. When he also ignores Christian's dismissal, Ana is completely mystified and is even becoming nervous when she then notices that Taylor's attention is consumed by Christian. Still thoroughly confused, Ana says, "Christian? Why does he think you're a threat?" When Christian only offers a guilty shrug, Ana says to Taylor, "He'd never hurt me. You know that."

Taylor ducks his head slightly in apology as he says, "Begging your pardon, Miss Steele, but that's simply not true, is it?"

Ana blushes that Taylor knows enough about her to be able to make such a statement. But she quickly recovers and says, "If you know that much, then you also know it was a misunderstanding. Why are you afraid that Christian will hurt me?" When he says nothing, and Christian only puts his hands in his pockets, Ana says, "Jason, _please_."

Even then, it's only when Christian nods that Taylor says, "The week after you left, he got angry enough to put Bastille in the hospital."

At first confused, Ana remembers the name and her stunned gaze shifts to Christian as she asks, "Your personal trainer? You put Claude in the hospital?"

When Christian again offers that same, guilty shrug everything finally falls into place. With a sigh of relief, Ana says to Christian, "You've ordered Taylor to protect me even from you." His almost comical look of surprise is confirmation enough that she's guessed correctly, so she says, "Christian, tell him what's going to happen after the benefit tonight." When he says nothing, she insists, "Tell him!"

With a resigned sigh, Christian says to Taylor, "You'll drive Miss Steele to her apartment, so that she'll have time to get ready for work in the morning." The slight twinkle in his eye is the only warning Ana gets before he then continues, "And she will return here Friday evening, of her own volition, so that we can fuck like ferrets until she again returns to her apartment. This pattern will continue until she comes to her senses and moves in here."

Taylor tenses in surprise, and Ana's mouth drops open in angry amazement. After a few seconds of stunned silence, Taylor nods to Ana and says only "Miss Steele," before fleeing the room.

The poor man is barely out the door before Ana proclaims, "You…you're a bastard."

Daring where angels fear to tread, Christian saunters over and kisses her cheek before saying, "I'll be in the kitchen. Don't be long."

He only gets two steps before Ana recovers enough to ask, "How's Claude?"

Christian smiles and says, "He's fine. They didn't even keep him overnight."

Relieved, Ana says, "So, what happened?"

Christian shrugs and says, "I kicked him hard enough to crack a rib. He's had worse injuries. In fact, he only let me take him to Emergency when I wouldn't take no for an answer."

Thinking that a determined Christian Grey is probably worse than a cracked rib, Ana smiles and says, "Maybe you two should wear protective gear when you fight?"

"We do. I can't afford days off work and neither can he, so we wear full body armor."

Imagining what power must be required to crack someone's rib under those circumstances, Ana suddenly understands and says, "That's why you were worried that you might hurt me."

"Yes."

"But you don't believe that anymore?"

Christian considers and then says, "No, I don't. Like you said, I don't trust myself…a favorite theme with Flynn, by the way. But I can trust _us_. I can do that much."

Fighting tears at his earnest declaration, Ana sighs and says, "Go put the kettle on. I'll just be a few minutes and then I'll make you an omelet, okay?"

Christian beams his gratitude and then says, "One English Breakfast tea; bag out. Yes, ma'am."

When he's gone, Ana permits herself a few silent tears, not even sure if they're from relief or happiness. And then she quickly gets dressed and goes to reward Christian.

* * *

Where credit's due: To HappyCup, for making me think. Did you recognize the paragraph you inspired? Hope you enjoyed it. And to everyone who commented on the previous chapter; inspiring in a different way, thank you.


	10. Chapter 10

On the Rocks: Chapter Ten

Given the need for speed, Christian insists that Ana shower alone before her appointment with Dr. Greene. After having once again taking care of condom-free contraception, and passing a medical that included a nerve-racking pregnancy test, Ana hears Christian at the piano. He's fresh from a shower and dressed for outdoors, looking almost too good to be true. Ana soon recognizes the tune, so she's gently humming along as she sits beside him. Without pausing, Christian asks, "All done?"

Ana nods and says, "All done. Next time I see you, we won't have to bother with condoms."

This reminder of Ana leaving alters the mood, but Christian says nothing. Instead, he continues playing and sings, "That's what she said as she turned out the light and we bent our backs as slaves to the night."

Ana smiles at his choice of lyrics, even as she marvels at the beauty of his singing voice. Enormously grateful that he's trying so hard to be okay with her decision, she says, "I would have thought this one was a little too close to home, what with the mention of scars and touching."

"And I would have thought that you're a little young to be an Al Stewart fan."

Ana smiles at memories and says, "Ray is the real fan. Before he and Mom split up, songs from that era were played enough to soak into my subconscious."

Christian smiles and starts from the top as he says, "You know the words?"

Ana nods and, when he reaches the part after "slaves to the night," uncaring that her voice doesn't nearly approach Christian's level of expertise, she sings, "Then she lowered her guard and showed me the scars she got from trying to fight, saying oh, you'd better believe it. Well I'm up to my neck in the crumbling wreckage of all that I wanted from life…"

Ana is shocked into silence when Christian suddenly stops playing and lifts her onto his lap. And then his mouth, gentle but insistent, desperately draws comfort from hers. After a while, he ends the kiss and rests his forehead against Ana's as he whispers, "Do you still intend to leave tonight?"

Her heart in her throat, Ana gulps and also whispers, "Yes. Do you still intend to let me?"

"Yes." And then Christian grins and jokes, "But we'll know for sure tonight." Next, he abruptly puts Ana on her feet and says, "Come on. I've thought of another activity that will require me tightening straps across your body."

Burning with curiosity, Ana says, "And you're not going to tell me what it is, are you?"

Christian grins and takes her hand as they leave the room, saying, "Nope." When Ana silently fumes, he asks, "Don't want to call me a bastard?"

Noticing that she doesn't, but without knowing why, Ana says, "Would you like me to?"

At her serious tone, Christian considers the matter and then says, "Usually, but I think you'd better go easy on me today, thank you."

Ana smiles and says, "No, thank _you_. I'm glad you've decided to have fun while we're together. You really scared me earlier."

Having already apologized, Christian doesn't bother again. Instead, he quotes, "Take hope from the heart of a man, and you make him a beast of prey."

Ana nods and says, "Exactly." And then, still concerned about how Christian will cope over the next few days, she hesitates before asking, "You seeing Dr. Flynn this week?"

Christian hesitates and then says, "I'd better. And he'll want to talk to you."

"What? Why?"

With a wry grin, Christian says, "Sexual assault, Ana. Shrinks get twitchy about that sort of thing."

Stopped in her tracks at his words, Ana shakes her head in dismay and says, "I didn't really mean it when I said…I was just trying to…"

When she doesn't continue, Christian says, "Stop me from fucking you against your will, and despite your express wishes to the contrary?"

His brutally honest assessment of the situation hits Ana like a smack in the face. At the knowledge of just how close they'd come to crossing a line from which there is no return, Ana's legs suddenly fail in their duty to keep her upright. Christian's reflexes, however, do not and he supports her as they sink to their knees. Feeling like she's drowning, Ana's breaths come in ragged, heaving gasps, interspersed with dry sobs as her trembling body goes into shock. Without a word, Christian sits on the floor against the wall and gathers Ana onto his lap, cradling her to him as she finally succumbs to the myriad of intense emotions that she'd kept at bay while taming Christian earlier.

Several minutes later, finally cried out and utterly spent, Ana becomes aware that Christian is caressing those calming circles on her back and gently holding her head against his chest. Savoring his soothing touch and reassured by the feel of his heart beating beneath her cheek, Ana whispers, "Sorry."

Christian gasps, almost a sob, and holds her a little tighter as he hoarsely begs, "Don't apologize, for fuck's sake, or you'll break me."

Deeply distressed at the level of pain in his voice, Ana resists the urge to again ask for forgiveness. Instead, she considers for a second and then succinctly pronounces, "Bastard."

Christian's relief is palpable as he sighs and says, "That's better." When Ana is then silent for several seconds, Christian asks, "Do you want me to call Flynn? I'm sure he'd make time for you over this." When Ana only shakes her head and is again quiet, Christian pleads, "Tell me what to do, sweetheart, _please_."

Confident that he'll let her, Ana moves her head to his shoulder and then slides one hand up to where the top two buttons of his shirt are undone. She quickly divests him of one more button, then threads her fingers through the soft hairs and rests her hand over his heart, saying, "We're okay, Christian. Just hold me." After drawing comfort from Christian's flesh for a few minutes, Ana removes her hand and says, "I'm glad now that I used that word, or we wouldn't be doing this."

Christian doesn't need to ask what word she's referring to and reveals, "Ana, it wasn't you accusing me of rape that stopped me. In that moment I honestly didn't believe that's what I was about to do." At her obvious confusion, he says, "You don't remember? You called me _darling_."

"I did?" At Christian's bemused nod, she says, "Another first?"

"Most definitely."

Ana snuggles back against him and says, "I'm glad." After a second, she asks, "Oh, did you like it?"

Christian kisses her hair and says, "So much that I no longer needed to fuck you."

Ana smiles and says, "If it's going to stop us fucking, maybe I'd better use it sparingly."

When Christian laughs, Ana knows that he's beginning to forgive himself, even before he then says, "I wouldn't go that far. I suspect that, most of the time, it will have the opposite effect."

Only seconds later, Ana hears footsteps behind her and recognizes them as Taylor's, but she doesn't look up. At an unseen gesture from Christian, the footsteps stop and Ana murmurs, "Time to go?"

Christian shakes his head and says, "Not until you're ready."

Ana wipes the remnants of tears from her face and looks up at him as she says, "I'm ready."

Obviously unconvinced, Christian nervously scans her face as he says, "We don't have to do this. It can wait until next weekend."

Ana's heart lifts at his optimistic words, and she smilingly says, "Oh, no, Grey. You're not making me wait a whole week to find out what you have in store for me. Let's go."

Smiling, Christian helps Ana to her feet, and then she does the same for him and they follow Taylor, hand-in-hand, to the car. Letting go of Christian's hand to attach her seatbelt, Ana sits right next to him, so that she can thread her arm through his and he sternly cautions, "Ana, you only have a lap belt in that seat."

Unconcerned, Ana says, "It's either that or I sit in your lap."

With a resigned sigh, Christian says, "Taylor?"

From the driver's seat, Taylor says, "Yes, Sir. I'll have a three-point belt fitted tomorrow."

Ana smiles and says, "There, was that so difficult?"

Christian cups her chin and kisses her, then says, "You really want to goad me today, Ana?"

Appraising his expression, Ana sees nothing to concern her, so she grins and says, "Yes, Sir."

The sudden desire in Christian's eyes confirms that Ana has read him correctly. He smiles and shakes his head, saying, "Anastasia Rose Steele, you're the bravest person I've ever met."

Ana frowns and begins, "How do you know my middle…?" And then she laughs and says, "I keep forgetting your stalker tendencies. And that's another thing, Grey; you need to back off on that, okay? From now on, if you want to know something about me, just ask."

Christian considers for a second and then vows, "I can do that." With a wicked grin, he then says, "Though I doubt there's much left on you to discover."

Ana blushes at his lascivious tone and deliberate phrasing. But then she rallies and counters, "If you really believe that, Mr. Grey, then you haven't been paying attention at all."

Christian laughs and says, "Touché, Miss Steele. You are, indeed, a constant source of surprise and delight."

Staring straight into his eyes, Ana puts one hand on his groin, surprised to find that he's already somewhat erect, and feels his immediate response as she says, "As are you, Christian."

Christian's eyes widen in surprise and then darken with desire as he says, "Really, Ana?" Echoing her words from yesterday, Christian rests his hand on her thigh and promises, "Because I'm something of a legend at this particular game."

With a nervous glance towards Taylor, Ana smiles and withdraws her hand, saying, "I believe you."

Gracious in victory, Christian immediately removes his hand, saying, "Perhaps not so brave after all?"

Ana considers how to reward his good manners and then says, "Will I know anyone at this benefit tonight?"

Christian smiles and says, "No offense, Ana, but I seriously doubt that. Though it's no great loss; Brit's the only person there worth knowing."

"Will he be at our table?"

With a hopeful grin, Christian says, "You're thinking that your courage might return by dinner?"

A little unsure, Ana nervously says, "Maybe…only if we're amongst strangers." Regretting her words even as they leave her mouth, Ana wonders if she's really brave enough to let Christian pleasure her in public.

Christian's dark, passionate gaze is back and he gently frees Ana's bottom lip from her teeth as he says, "Then you'd better stop doing that, or I won't last the distance." And then he tenderly kisses her and promises, "It would literally be my pleasure to oblige. But it's entirely up to you, Ana, and you'd be in control. I won't fail you again."

With another nervous glance towards Taylor, Ana quietly says, "You didn't fail me, Christian. You stopped in time." When Christian only shrugs, clearly unconvinced, Ana knows that he hasn't forgiven himself and that nothing she says will make a difference. So she clasps his arm a little tighter and leans her head against his shoulder, silently offering what comfort she can.

* * *

Ana wakes to Christian kissing her and she dreamily murmurs, "Mmm…good."

Christian smiles and says, "We're here. Time to soar with eagles."

Ana looks out the door, patiently held open by Taylor, to see that Christian is about to take her paragliding. She looks at him, eyes shining with excitement, and says, "Not really?"

Christian laughs at her enthusiasm and says, "Yes, really. We'll take off as a tandem, so it doesn't matter that you've never done this before, because you'll just be the passenger. I'll be in control."

Ana grins and says, "Of course you will."

Christian only smiles at that and pushes her towards the exit, saying, "Let's go."

As they're walking towards the Launchpad, Ana asks, "How do you know that I've never tried this?"

Deadpan, Christian says, "Miss Steele, I have resources at my disposal that you cannot begin to comprehend."

Ana's eyes narrow in suspicion and she says, "One of my parents, or Kate?"

Unrepentant, Christian grins and says, "Miss Kavanagh called me this morning, to comment on the thankyou note I'd left at your apartment. So I asked if you'd enjoy paragliding."

Ana smiles at that and then asks, "_Comment_?"

"Uh, she was teasing me that I…we, only used the vanilla flavored condoms."

"I'm going to kill her."

Christian laughs and says, "I'm afraid that I'd have to stop you. I owe Miss Kavanagh a debt that I can never hope to repay."

At first confused, Ana then smiles and says, "Because she was sick the day of the interview?"

Christian kisses her and says, "Exactly."

There are no other customers, and the instructors are obviously known to Christian. So the only delay is the short time it takes Ana to thoroughly understand her role as passenger. The paraglider is laid out on the ground, ready to go. Christian straps them both into their respective harnesses, both of them trying not to smile as he tightens her safety restraints. Standing as instructed, Ana looks back over her shoulder and watches in fascination as Christian lifts the leading edge of the wing enough that it catches the breeze and quickly inflates, almost gently lifting off the ground in one, smooth move. Christian has only enough time to say "Here we go, baby," and then he faces into the wind and they're off, soaring from the launch site fast enough to take Ana's breath away.

Suspended in front of Christian, Ana can't even see the canopy above her unless she makes an effort, so it really feels like she's flying. In a childish moment of pure glee, she spreads her arms wide as wings and "soars" through the air and then giggles and says, "Christian, this is amazing, thank you."

Christian chuckles and says, "Yes, it is, and you're welcome." They fly for a while, in silence, admiring stunning views of the nearby state park, far beneath them. Ana is vaguely aware of Christian constantly making adjustments to their flight and she idly wonders how much control he has over speed, elevation and direction. She's filing that away to ask him later when Christian says, "Ten o'clock."

Ana glances in that direction and sees a bald eagle riding thermals, lazily rising through the air and she whispers, in awe, "Soaring with eagles." And then she says, "Can we get closer?"

"Sorry, baby, it'd be dangerous for us and probably fatal for the bird if we crossed paths."

Ana can see the sense in that and contents herself with watching the bird's flight. Soon enough, there are two eagles and she's mesmerized by how easy they make it look, while wondering what they think of the paraglider. All too soon, Ana can tell that the glider is slowly descending and, with real regret, says, "Time to go?"

"I'm afraid so, babe."

Ana can see what can only be the landing site in the distance below them. So she keeps quite, letting Christian concentrate on what must be a difficult task. They're skimming above the tree line when Ana is suddenly thrown around, as if a giant hand has grabbed the canopy. And then they're plummeting. Her heart already pounding when her instincts tell her that something is very wrong, she hears Christian say, "Oh, fuck!" The uncharacteristic fear in his voice forces Ana's panic up a notch and she looks back at him to see that the glider canopy looks more like her flattened Charlie Tango balloon, even as the reserve chute starts to emerge from Christian's backpack. Somewhat reassured by his quick reflexes, Ana's eyes are then drawn back to the still rapidly approaching ground.

A moment later, their descent is suddenly halted and Ana is jerked in the harness like a bobbing cork and she gasps as the deflated canopy flutters past her with a large, brown-black bird tangled in the countless lines. They're nowhere near the landing site and the trees are coming at them very fast. Christian only has time to say "Brace yourself," before all three of them hit the trees.

Having tucked in her arms and legs in an instinctive effort to protect her body, Ana feels twigs hitting her, but no real pain. She has to close her eyes as the ground rushes towards them. But the actual landing feels fairly gentle, no doubt due to Christian's skill. Almost as his feet touch the ground, Christian says, "Fuck! Ana! Ana, are you okay?"

Disappointed at the panic in her voice, Ana says, "I'm fine! I'm fine."

Still sitting on the ground, and with trembling fingers, Ana manages to unlock her harness, her rapt attention on the panicked bird nearby, still tangled in the glider's canopy and lines. And then Christian is kneeling before her, holding her face in his hands, his expression one of fear and concern as he again asks, "Ana, are you okay?"

Relaxing on seeing Christian's face, Ana's voice is now calm as she says, "I think so. Nothing's hurting."

Christian swiftly and expertly checks her body for injury, even as he says, "Fucking bird! If it's not already dead, I'll wring its fucking neck."

So Ana knows that he was concerned enough for her to not even notice the frantic animal only a few yards away and she says, "Don't kill it, Christian. It's terrified."

Satisfied that Ana is all right, Christian runs one hand through his hair and says, "I'm not going to kill it. I just…fuck, I've had countless flights without incident and the day I bring you…" With a monumental effort, Christian calms down and says, "Well, at least it wasn't boring, right?"

Relieved that he's back in control, Ana manages a weak smile and says, "Nothing with you is boring, Mr. Grey."

With a grateful smile, Christian says, "Back at you, Miss Steele." Suddenly, the radio attached to Christian's suit blares out with Taylor's concerned voice, asking for details. Christian assures him that they're both fine and relays their coordinates. When he's done, Christian looks at the bird, now exhausted enough to be motionless, and says, "Right, now for you."

However, when he stands, Christian hisses in pain and Ana says, "You're hurt!"

Shaking his head, Christian says, "Just a sprained ankle. We came in a bit harder than I would have liked."

Ana stands up and grabs his arm, saying, "Then sit down and wait for Taylor."

Christian puts a reassuring hand on her shoulder and says, "I'm fine, Ana. Just wait here while I free this stupid, fucking animal."

Without releasing her grip, Ana says, "I can do that. I've gloves thick enough to protect my hands. And, of the two of us, I think you'll agree that I'm the person more qualified for a task that requires patience and small fingers." When Christian looks doubtful, Ana says, "If my ankle were sprained, would you want me making it worse?"

That gets through to him and Christian says, "Okay, Ana, you win. But, if it bites you, I really will fucking kill it."

Only letting go of Christian when he actually sits down, Ana smiles and says, "No you won't."

With a quiet smile at how well he knows her, Christian jokes, "I'm not so sure."

Ana slowly approaches the, as it turns out, turkey vulture and almost tenderly works on freeing it. Unfortunately, untangling the thin lines from the bird's wings and claws proves impossible with the thick gloves on, so she removes one of them, ignoring Christian's, "Careful, Ana."

After several minutes of painstaking work, with the bird frequently flapping in panic, it finally shrugs free of the remaining line and simply flies off down the hill. Ana watches it go for a second and then returns to Christian, who's reclining on one elbow and watching her with a proud smile. Returning his smile, she says, "Right, next patient."

Christian shrugs and says, "Not much you can do for a sprained ankle, but okay." Holding out a hand, he asks, "Help me sit up?"

Only when she clasps Christian's hand does Ana see the gleam in his eye, so she's helpless to resist when Christian pulls her down beside him, catching her in his arms and covering her mouth with his. When he finally releases her, Ana smiles and says, "Ankle can't be too bad, then?"

With a smug grin, Christian says, "Like I said."

And then Ana observes, "You're feeling better." At his confused look, she says, "Since this morning, you've been very…unFifty like…not controlling at all. In fact, you've been almost nice to me. You had me worried."

Christian tries to look wounded and asks, "You don't think I'm nice?"

Ana laughs at his expression and says, "No, not at all; good, generous, even kind. But not nice. I don't know if you're aware of it, Mr. Grey, but you're a little overbearing."

Christian smiles at the appraisal and says, "Near death experiences puts things in perspective, I guess."

Eager as ever for any information about him, Ana prompts, "_Perspective_?"

With remembered fear in his eyes, Christian explains, "There are worse things than not seeing you for five days."

Ana nods her understanding and then says, "So, we're okay?"

Christian looks uncomfortable as he says, "Well, I still don't like myself very much right now. But I presume that my innate arrogance will take hold soon enough."

Ana rests her head on his shoulder and says, "I wish you'd forgive yourself. There's no way you would have gone through with it."

Christian touches his lips to her hair and says, "Thanks, for saying so, baby. But there's no way you can know that."

"Christian, I've waited my whole life for you. Do you honestly think that I'd wait that long for a man who would force himself on the woman he loves?"

Ana wonders if her reflexes are getting faster when she's actually aware this time how Christian spins her onto her back, even as he follows to cover her with his body, one hand feverishly searching for a way inside her flight suit and a leg pushing between her welcoming thighs, even as his mouth descends on hers, hungrily demanding her response. Ana threads her fingers through his hair as she matches his passion, instantly feeling that familiar heat flare through her body. When Christian's fingers find her skin, her loud gasp brings his concerned gaze to hers, so she quickly reassures, "Cold. You hand is _very_ cold."

Christian smiles, his beautiful face filled only with adoration and he avidly watches Ana's reaction as his chilled hand glides towards her breast. Having endured several hours without his touch, Ana closes her eyes in blissful rapture. But they snap open when Christian's commands, "Look at me."

Ecstatic to have her Fifty back, Ana stares up at him, smiles and says, "Yes, Sir."

And then they hear it, the unmistakable sound of a diesel engine and they know that rescue is at hand. Christian groans and rolls off Ana as he says, "Fucking Taylor's fucking efficiency. I'll fucking fire him."

Despite the sudden, yearning emptiness left by his body's withdrawal, Ana smiles and repeats, "No you won't."

* * *

Where credit's due: "Take hope from the heart of a man, and you make him a beast of prey." -Marie Louise De La Ramee

"If It Doesn't Come Naturally, Leave It" -Lyrics by Al Stewart


	11. Chapter 11

On the Rocks: Chapter Eleven

Despite Ana alternately cajoling, bribing and threatening him, Christian flat-out refuses to attend a hospital; contenting himself with Taylor's first-aid training as treatment. Genuinely concerned that the injury might be worse than he thinks, Ana is quiet on the way back to Escala and once again sits beside Christian, clutching his arm and resting her head on his shoulder. Eventually, her quiet compassion proves too much and Christian gets out his phone to arrange for a doctor to meet him at the apartment. When he's done, he looks down at Ana's shining face and says, "Happy?"

"Yes, thank you."

"You're welcome. Though it's going to cost me a small fortune just so he can confirm that I have a sprained ankle." Christian is about to put his phone away when he says, "Oh, forgot to show you my new screensaver."

Ana peers at the screen in his hand and then looks at him in confusion, saying, "Your company logo?"

Christian grins and says, "Look closer."

Ana does so and sees, beneath the logo and in Christian's elegant script, the words, "Property of Grey Enterprises." And she suddenly understands why the colors look familiar; they match the candles that had been in the playroom yesterday. Despite there being nothing in the pic to confirm it, Ana is absolutely certain that she's looking at her own back. She makes a grab for the phone, but Christian is far too quick, so she demands, "Give me the phone."

Christian only puts it in a far pocket and grins as he says, "Uh, uh."

Ana tries a few more times to get at the phone, to no avail. Trying to stay angry is difficult with Christian in such a playful mood. But Ana manages to keep a straight face as she says, "Grey, I'm serious. Give me the phone."

Grinning like a kid, Christian mocks, "Steele, _I'm_ serious. You're not getting my phone."

Intimidation is obviously not going to work, especially when Ana is only half angry at his audacity. After all, there are only two people in the world who'd know the picture is of her, and she's confident that Christian will keep it that way. But the fact that he would fuck her after effectively branding her is enough to keep a quiet resentment simmering within her and she says, "Fine. Just let me look at it again."

Christian only raises one eyebrow and says, "You weren't fast enough last time. What's changed?"

He's right, of course, so Ana says, "Taylor, would you please pull over?"

"Yes, ma'am."

Only when the car stops and Ana opens the door does Christian nervously ask, "Ana?"

Realizing what it must look like, Ana reassures him, "Not running; sulking. And I can do that better from the front seat."

Christian's smug grin returns almost immediately and he says, "You punishing me, Miss Steele? Because that could be a _very_ dangerous game."

Ana can see the spark of passion in his eyes and feels an answering fire ignite within her. Ignoring her racing heart, she exits the car as she says, "We'll see, Grey. We'll see."

Once Ana is in the front seat and belted, she says, "Thank you, Taylor."

For once not concealing his smile very well, Taylor returns to the highway as he says, "You're welcome, Miss Steele."

Without Christian's company, the journey back to the apartment seems to take forever. But Ana resolutely refuses to turn or even glance in the side mirror for a glimpse of him. They're almost to the apartment when Taylor quietly says, "He's asleep, ma'am."

Ana turns to see that Christian is now sprawled across the back, so that he can rest his bandaged ankle on the seat, and does appear to be asleep. He looks so beautiful that Ana has to clasp her hands together or reach out and touch him. Not even realizing that she's used exactly the same words before, Ana whispers, "What am I going to do with him?"

Taylor smiles and quietly says, "From where I sit, Miss Steele, it's pretty obvious that you're going to love him."

Ana nods and says, "You said that he's a good man, but you were wrong."

Clearly confused, Taylor says only, "Miss Steele?"

"Not a good man; the best man. He's the best man I know."

Taylor smiles indulgently and says, "Yes, Miss Steele."

Ana's still staring at Christian as the car enters the parking garage. He stirs in his sleep when the car slows, so Ana returns her eyes to the front, determined to keep playing whatever game she's started, because she senses that invalid Christian will need almost constant entertainment.

Sawyer is waiting by the elevator in the garage and opens the door as the car stops, to help Christian from the car. Ana notices, with some concern, that Christian's ankle appears to be worse; his limp is more pronounced and he's quite pale. All games forgotten, she asks Sawyer, "Haven't you got a wheelchair?"

Christian snorts and says, "Wouldn't do him any good if he did. I wouldn't use it." Unable to endure the idea of Christian being in pain, Ana takes his other arm, so she and Sawyer can walk him to the elevator. At first surprised when she appears at his side, Christian then asks, "Done sulking?"

Ana nods once and concedes, "For now."

Christian chuckles and says, "Pity. I quite like the shape of your mouth when you pout."

Embarrassed at such talk when Sawyer is with them, Ana cautions, "Behave yourself, or I'll go back to sulking and I'll do it where you can't see my mouth."

Christian only laughs, clearly unconcerned, but he stops flirting with Ana and tolerates their assistance all the way to the living room. Once his boss is comfortable, Sawyer says, "The Doc will be here asap. Can I get you anything?"

Without preamble, Christian says, "Lunch. I'm starving."

Ana says, "It's all right, Sawyer. I'll take care of it, thank you."

When Sawyer is gone, Ana looks at Christian to ask what he'd like for lunch. But, at his smug grin, says, "What?"

"You're feeling sorry for me."

Fighting a smile, Ana lies, "No, I'm not. Now, what do you want for lunch?"

Still wearing a slight smile, Christian says, "Whatever will get you back here the quickest."

Careful not to bump his ankle, Ana kisses him and says, "Sandwich it is, then."

As if she hadn't even spoken, Christian says, "You're feeling sorry for me and you're considering staying one more night."

Only then does Ana realize that Christian is right, but the idea hadn't yet become a conscious thought. Stunned at his ability to apparently read her mind, she says, "How do you do that?"

Before she recovers, Christian takes one of Ana's hands and puts it over his heart, even as he puts his palm against hers. Fighting the urge to cry, Ana says, "It doesn't mean that I'll definitely stay. I really do have work in the morning."

Beaming at her, Christian removes his hands and says, "I know. But you're considering it and I _will_ persuade you by the end of the day." And then he slaps her ass and says, "Now fetch me my lunch."

Glaring at his impudence, Ana says, "You only get a free ride while you're injured, Christian. Next weekend is payback time."

Rubbing her stinging butt, Ana heads for the kitchen to the sound of Christian's joyous laughter. After exploring the contents of his refrigerator, Ana quickly fills a serving tray with food and heads back to Christian. He's leaning back in the chair, eyes closed and Ana wonders if he's again asleep. But he opens his eyes as she approaches and his sudden, blazing smile almost makes Ana drop the tray. And then he says, "I missed you."

With trembling hands, Ana puts the tray on the coffee table and then wordlessly climbs onto Christian's lap to kiss him. His hand is already under her blouse, questing for remembered delights when Sawyer politely coughs, giving them time to disengage, and then he says, "Ms. Forbes is here for your appointment, Miss Steele."

At Ana's confused look, Christian says, "Diana." When Ana shakes her head, reluctant to leave him, Christian says to Sawyer, "Have her set up in here."

Ana protests, "No, I'm fine. I don't need a massage."

Christian nods to Sawyer, dismissing him and then says, "Yes, you do. If not for your underdeveloped muscles, then for the emotional release."

Concerned, Ana asks, "_Emotional release_?"

Surprised, Christian says, "You've never had a massage, either? What have you been doing with your life, Ana?"

Ana grins and says, "I told you; waiting for you."

Christian is leaning to kiss Ana again when a woman's voice says, "Christian Grey, what have you done now?"

Ana turns to see a tall, muscular Caucasian woman, perhaps late thirties to early forties, followed by Sawyer apparently carrying Diana's gear, even as Christian says, "Sprained my ankle kicking massage therapists. So watch your mouth."

Despite their words, Ana can hear that it's friendly banter. So she stands and readily offers her hand in greeting as she says, "I'm Ana."

For some reason she's ridiculously pleased when Christian immediately says, "My girlfriend."

Diana shakes Ana's hand and says, "Diana Forbes." Looking at Christian, she adds, "A sweet, but patently unnecessary statement, Christian; she was in your lap."

Eyes sparkling with humor, Christian says, "Ana, sweetheart, would you kick her for me?"

Ana laughs at how easy they are with each other and says, "No."

Sawyer has finished setting up the massage table and accepts Diana's gratitude before leaving. After asking Ana a few, clinical questions, Diana says, "As this is your first time, I'll start easy and gradually work deeper into the muscles until you say _when_, okay?"

After a nervous glance at Christian, Ana says, "Okay."

Diana frowns and says, "Would you rather do this in private?"

Christian intercedes, "She's worried about becoming emotional."

Relieved, Diana says, "Oh, well that doesn't happen every time. And, if it does, I'll hand you a Kleenex and ask if you want to pause or stop."

Reassured, Ana smiles her relief and says, "Thank you."

Diana nods and says, "No problem. I'm going to visit the little girl's room and wash my hands. This would be your cue to strip down to your level of comfort and lie face down on the table, with your face in the face-shaped hole. I'll knock before I enter."

Back to being nervous, Ana says only, "Thank you."

When Diana leaves, shutting the door on her way out, Ana starts stripping as she says, "I like her."

Christian says, "I'm glad." And then he adds, "It's just occurred to me that this might not have been a good idea."

Ana knows that tone and looks at him to confirm that he's turned on. Shaking her head, she says, "God, Christian, it's therapeutic massage, not a porn film."

Christians raises one eyebrow and asks, "You've watched porn?"

"Of course not. But I've heard the clichés." And then Ana shakes her head again and complains, "Christian, I don't think that I can do this if you're going to sit there lusting after me."

"Ana, I'm always lusting after you. And, even if I weren't, in a few minutes you'll be naked while a woman massages your bare flesh for at least an hour with her oiled hands. It'll be a miracle if I don't come."

With a grin, Ana says, "What happened to control, Mr. Grey?"

With a flicker of guilt, Christian says, "If we've learned anything today, Miss Steele, it's that you naked is enough to make me lose all control."

Worried about Christian sinking back into melancholy, Ana tilts her head and asks, "Are you going to delete that picture from your phone?"

Christian smiles and says, "Never."

Slowly removing her blouse and bra while keeping her gaze fixed on his, Ana says, "Then, Mr. Grey, you're on your own."

Momentarily hypnotized by her performance, Christian then says, "More games, Anastasia?"

Struggling with her own control issues at the sound of her name from his lips, Ana makes the decision to leave her panties on and climbs onto the table as she says, "We really only ever play one game, Mr. Grey."

Christian chuckles and says, "You're so right, Miss Steele, and I'm enjoying every moment of it, thank you."

At Diana's soft knock on the door, Ana says, "Come in."

When the universe suddenly gets _very_ quiet, Ana looks up to see why, but freezes when Christian snaps, "Don't move!" In an equally angry tone, he says, "Yes?"

Ana is mortified to hear Taylor, sounding almost in pain, say, "Uh, the doctor's here, Mr. Grey."

After a second, Christian's voice is only a little calmer when he says, "Fuck! You'll have to help me."

When Ana moves to obey, Christian says, "Not you, Ana, for fuck's sake."

Having caught a glimpse of Christian stooped over in pain as he struggles to his feet, Ana knows that Taylor is still behind her. Confident that he'll be steadfastly _not_ looking at her, she resumes her position on the table and silently prays for the floor to open up and swallow her whole.

Ana guesses that Diana has returned when Christian says, "You'll have to manage without an audience today."

Sure enough, the therapist's voice says, "Probably for the best anyway. Tuesday, Grey? I won't be able to work on that ankle before then."

"Tuesday."

And then the door blessedly closes and Diana says, "Well, that was awkward. Are you okay?"

Ana laughs and says, "Yeah, I think so."

"Lord, you're trembling. Do you need anything? A glass of water, maybe?"

Ana giggles and says, "No, no, I'm fine. Just…Christian would _not_ have liked that."

Diana chuckles and says, "I don't imagine Jason found it very comfortable, either."

As they again laugh together, Ana relaxes and then says, "Thank you."

Diana laughs yet again and says, "Hold that thought when my thumbs find the muscles that are holding all that stress."

Surprised, Ana says, "I seem stressed to you?"

Diana's warm, oiled hands start at Ana's shoulders as she says, "You're dating Christian Grey. He even makes _me_ nervous, and I'm not a woman who is easily intimidated."

"No doubt." And then Ana frowns and says, "But you two seem so at ease with each other."

Working her way down Ana's back, Diana says, "Part of my job is putting people at ease."

Luxuriating in the woman's expert touch, Ana says, "You're good at it."

"Thank you." They're both silent for a while, as Diana steadily increases the pressure of the massage. And then Ana suddenly says, "Wait, you massage Christian? But…"

When Ana doesn't continue, Diana gently reveals, "He wears a t-shirt at all times and it's a no-go area. He's never said why and I've never asked. Now, how about you try to put Christian Grey out of your head for the next hour, so we can focus on Ana? Because every time you say his name, your muscles clench enough that you're going to undo all my hard work."

Suitably chastised, and more than a little embarrassed, Ana says only, "I'll try."

* * *

Ana wakes as Diana is rubbing her back with a towel. It feels good, so she murmurs, "Mmm…nice."

Laughter in his voice, Christian says, "Couldn't agree more, Miss Steele."

Ana whirls around, instinctively grabbing at the towel as cover and almost falling off the table, to see that Christian is supporting himself with crutches under both arms. Still confused, Ana asks, "Diana?"

With a grin, Christian says, "Left some time ago after covering you with the bath sheet and ordering me to let you rest." At her glare, he explains, "But…watching you sleep; I suddenly couldn't wait any longer to see your smile."

Thinking it's incredibly unfair that his words can so affect her, Ana gulps at the power of her sudden desire for him and says, "No?"

Smiling his pleasure at her dynamic reaction, Christian starts to slowly slide the towel from her hands as he confirms, "No."

Struggling to form coherent thoughts, Ana grabs at the towel, pulling it back over her as she says, "Wait. What did the doctor say?"

Christian says only "Sprained ankle," and then resumes unveiling her.

Desperate for more information, Ana smacks at his hand and says, "What, specifically, did he say?"

The flash of anger in Christian's eyes confirms that Ana will pay for thwarting him. But he gives up the fight and leans on the crutches as he explains, "That I should spend as little time on my feet as possible, while the joint is swollen, and see a physiotherapist once a week until it's completely healed." With a grin, he lies, "Oh, and that constant fucking will greatly aid my recovery."

Satisfied that he'll be okay, and confident that nothing short of Armageddon will bring Taylor through the door today, Ana slides off the far side of the table and then turns to face Christian, letting the towel fall to the floor as she says, "Well, assuming that you get off your feet, it would be my pleasure to aid your recovery."

If asked, Ana would swear that she can actually feel Christian's ever-darkening gaze sweep over her body. After several seconds of an examination intense enough to accelerate Ana's breathing and heart rate, Christian says, "Love to, babe. But you need to eat, and your lunch is waiting in the kitchen."

Embarrassed, confused and a little hurt at being rejected, Ana says only, "Oh, okay."

Ana quickly dresses, and follows Christian as she says, "I'm sorry, about before."

Christian shakes his head and says, "Not your fault."

Still concerned, Ana says, "Not Taylor's either."

"Then I've fired him for nothing."

Stunned, Ana stops and says, "Not really?"

Christian stop and turns to face her, saying, "He works for _me_, not you. He should have waited until he heard my voice before entering the room."

Horrified, Ana says, "Christian, please tell me you're joking."

"Do I look like I'm joking?"

Scanning his face for any sign of hope, Ana finds none and says, "But…that's insane. You can't fire him over this."

Christian again heads for the kitchen as he says, "I can, and I have."

Ana rushes to block his path, fighting tears as she says, "Well, _un_fire him! You can't do this, Christian."

At her acute distress, Christian awkwardly tries to comfort her despite the crutches and says, "Hey, easy, baby. I fire Jason about once a week. He just proves that I can't live without him and then goes about his duties."

Struggling to process his words, Ana frowns in confusion and says, "Taylor isn't fired?"

"Well, I told him he is. But he knows better than to pay attention to such an order."

Shocked, Ana says, "Wha…why would you do that to me?"

Looking a little ashamed, Christian says, "Well, it was fun, at first. I didn't think you'd get this upset."

"You didn't think I'd…" Trembling with rage, Ana spins on her heel and storms to the kitchen. She's still looking for the promised lunch when Christian enters and says, "The oven warmer. Taylor made you an apology quiche."

Without a word, Ana fetches the pie and puts a small portion on a plate before eating. Christian hobbles over to the counter and perches on a barstool, leaning his crutches beside him. The quiche really is very good and Ana is savoring the experience when Christian says, "I'm sorry."

Still fuming, Ana shakes her head and says, "Just leave me in peace, Grey."

Christian only manages to stay silent for a few seconds before saying, "Well, can I have some quiche, at least? I'm starving."

"You didn't have lunch?"

Christian shakes his head and says, "No. The doc arrived before I could eat. I didn't want anything other than the meal you'd made for me, but I was reluctant to disturb your massage, and the sandwich had gone all soggy by the time I got in there, so…what?"

Ana shakes her head again, this time in wonder, and says, "How…it's not fair that you can do that to me."

Sensing that he's forgiven, Christian smiles and says, "So, can I have some quiche?"

Ana silently serves Christian a large portion and then says, "You're a bastard."

Christian smiles and says, "So we've established." Holding up a portion of the quiche on his fork, he adds, "Thank you." They eat in silence for a while, and then Christian pleads, "When you're writing out your list, would you please remember that I'm still new to this whole girlfriend thing?"

Utterly confused, Ana asks, "What list?"

"Well, given that I sent you a blank contract and you filled it with notes, I presume it will be an actual handwritten epic, presumably entitled _pros_ and _cons_, to help you decide whether or not to return on Friday."

Frustrated that he still doesn't believe her, Ana says, "I'm coming back, Christian. I told you that."

"Oh, I believe that you intend to. But you're not absolutely certain." At her continued exasperation, Christian explains, "If you were certain, you wouldn't need five days apart to think about things and you wouldn't have got so angry about Taylor fetching your things." Ana's expression changes as she considers his words, and he concludes, "If you were one hundred percent certain that you'll return on Friday, we'd already be living together."

Ana is quiet for several seconds while she gives his words serious thought, and then she says, "You're right." And then she realizes something and says, "When did you work this out?"

"While you were with Diana."

Having confirmed why Christian had seemed upset after the massage, Ana says, "I thought you were jealous over the…misunderstanding with Taylor."

"Oh, I was jealous…insanely so. Fortunately, it was a temporary insanity. I know it wasn't really his fault." And then Christian smiles and says, "Poor bastard was so embarrassed that my anger disappeared almost immediately."

"Should I…apologize or something to him?"

"I think he'd be eternally grateful if the incident is never, ever mentioned."

Ana nods and says, "Fine with me." Curious, she then asks, "How does he prove that you can't live without him?"

With a sheepish grin, Christian says, "He, uh, asks for my secretary's name so that he can give her the relevant paperwork."

Catching on, Ana says, "Christian! You don't know your secretary's name? That's appalling."

Still embarrassed, Christian confesses, "Not always. They change every couple of months or so. I can't keep track of them."

Shocked, Ana echoes, "_Couple of months_?"

Christian smiles and says, "Apparently, I'm rather demanding. If they last more than a week, Taylor gives them an excellent reference." And then he sobers and says, "Have you deliberately changed the subject, or are we meandering?"

"Oh, sorry…meandering, I think. Uh, you want to talk about me not being one hundred percent certain?"

"Yes, but finish your lunch first. I need to be somewhere I can put this ankle up."

Ashamed that she'd forgotten about Christian's current needs, Ana quickly finishes her lunch and cleans up before accompanying him back to the living room. When he's comfortable, Ana says, "Are you in much pain?"

"One of the few good things about enduring childhood abuse is that it can build up an extraordinary tolerance for pain."

Shocked by the sentence, and Christian's calm delivery of it, Ana's mouth drops open and then she shakes her head to banish the tears and says, "That's…horrible, Christian." When he only shrugs, she adds, "And you didn't answer my question."

"Yes, I'm in pain. But I can mostly ignore it if I don't focus on it, so perhaps we could move on?"

Her heart aching for the boy he was and the man he is, Ana crawls into his lap and says, "If you promise not to try any delaying tactics in the morning, I'll stay one more night, okay?"

Christian kisses her and then says, "Thank you. And I so promise." And then he grins and declares, "I _knew_ you were feeling sorry for me."

"Yes, you're very clever. Now, what did you want to know?"

"Actually, I think it's more about what _you_ want to know. Because I already know that I want to live with you." When Ana is then silent for several seconds, Christian asks, "Need a pen and paper?"

Ana laughs and says, "No. I just…okay…do you still feel an urge to beat women like you used to?" At his pained expression, Ana quickly adds, "I know you only want to do what gives us both pleasure, but…I'm sorry, Christian, I don't even understand this enough to know how to ask about it."

After a moment, Christian says, "You haven't watched porn, but you must have read some raunchy scenes?"

Embarrassed, Ana says, "Well, yes."

"And which ones floated your boat?"

Blushing, Ana says, "I'm not discussing that with you."

With a quiet smile, Christian says, "You can suck my cock, but you can't talk about sex scenes?"

Blushing further, Ana says, "Hey, I'm coping with your cargo hold of emotional baggage, and I think I'm doing pretty well. The least you can do is not laugh at mine."

Christian wipes the smile from his face and "seriously" says, "Point well made, as ever, Miss Steele. So; sex scene. What's your favorite?"

Ana can't quite meet Christian's eye and her scarlet color remains as she says, "It's not really a scene...a poem." When Christian merely waits for more information, Ana murmurs, "Sappho; a translation by Ambrose Phillips."

"Tell me." At Ana's obvious reluctance, Christian gently lifts her gaze to his with a hand on her cheek and softly pleads, "Tell me."

After one, deep breath, Ana recites, "In dewy damps my limbs were chilled, my blood with gentle horrors thrilled, my feeble pulse forgot to play; I fainted, sunk, and died away." When Christian doesn't laugh and, instead looks at her with renewed passion, Ana finds the courage to explain, "There's more, but that's the bit that…it's what I imagined it would feel like if I ever fell in love. Every time I read it I…"

Christian interrupts with, "Want to fuck a sexually confused female Greek poet?"

Angry that he's mocking her again, Ana snaps, "Of course not, it only…" And then the penny drops and she says, "Oh. So, when you remember beating women, it makes you want me?"

With a grin, Christian says, "Almost everything makes me want you, baby. And I haven't actually thought of beating women for quite a while. But that's pretty much how it works, yes."

Still confused, Ana asks, "You'll always find the idea of hurting receptive women a turn-on?"

"I imagine so. I hope so."

"You hope so?"

With a knowing smile, Christian says, "You don't enjoy it?"

Ana blushes yet again as she says, "You know I do."

Christian's smile broadens and he says, "Like I said; I hope so. I'd consider giving you that pleasure even if it weren't a passion of mine. The fact that I find it sexy as hell is just a bonus." And then he sobers and continues, "While we're on the subject, I wish you'd reconsider about leaving the limits up to me, Ana. I just…I'm still worried that I'll try something and it will scare you off again."

This, at least, Ana is certain of and she confidently explains, "There were a few things on that BDSM website that scare me…more than a few, if I'm honest. But it's an uneducated fear. Not that long ago the playroom terrified me and now it's one of my favorite places on earth. And you already know me better than I know myself. That and your vast experience make you the person most qualified to know what will please me. If you really want me to, I'll reconsider, but I'd rather not."

Christian smiles his gratitude and says, "I've suddenly a very strong urge to share my vast experience with you. But I guess we'll have to wait until this ankle improves."

"Oh, I hadn't even thought of that." And then Ana grins and says, "We'll work something out."

At the look on her face, Christian has to take a deep, calming breath before asking, "Any other concerns?"

"The song you were playing today. Why did you choose that one?"

"Uh, I don't know. I woke up with that in my head, so I played it." And then Christian deduces why Ana is concerned and says, "You're worried that I find us hard work?" Suddenly afraid, he asks, "Is that how you feel?"

"No, not at all. It's more…the few weeks without you…suddenly nothing about my life makes any sense unless you're in it."

In slightly hushed tones, Christian says, "I feel the same way. Being with you…only breathing is easier. I can be me when we're together. You have no idea how rare that's been in my life."

"So why the song?"

Christian considers for a few seconds and says, "Uh, I'm not sure. The line I woke with was the one about four walls, so…" He runs a hand through his hair and says, "I'm sorry, Ana. Can we circle back to this one? I truly do want to address all your concerns. But I have to sort it out in my head first."

Ana rests her hand on his cheek for a second and says, "Of course. This was a good idea, thank you."

Surprised, Christian says, "That's it?"

"That's it."

"No questions about my jealousy, control issues, stalker tendencies?"

Ana tilts her head and says, "Aren't they all the same thing? And, besides, you're aware that they bother me and have agreed to work on improving. I don't think that anyone could expect more."

"What about the money issue?"

"I've been thinking about that, because it doesn't bother me when we're on our time, only when I'm on my time. And, if I were the one with the obscene amount of money, I'd want to share it with you. So I don't think that will be a problem if I move in here."

"And the sex is working for you? Because I'm prepared to work on improving that, too."

Ana laughs and has to kiss him again, then says, "Darling, if you improved that, it would probably kill me."

Christian's eyes widen in surprised delight and then he pouts and says, "Fucking bird!"

All her concerns having fallen away, Ana laughs and says, "Feeling friskier than your ankle will permit, Mr. Grey?" When Christian only silently sulks, Ana suggests, "Playtime?"

"I'd love to, babe. But I don't see that working until I can at least put weight on the ankle."

With a lascivious grin, Ana says, "Have you no imagination at all, Mr. Grey?"

Christian's eyes flare with carnal hunger at her challenge and, after a moment, he says, "The massage table."

Ana frowns and says, "I don't know, Christian…using her table doesn't seem fair to Diana, and that door doesn't have a lock on it."

"You know very well that no one is opening that door without written permission from me, in triplicate. And the table is mine. No one has lain on it, ever, but you and I." At Ana's sudden, obvious desire, Christian smiles and says, "I know. Why is that so sexy?"

Ana stands up and offers Christian assistance as she says, "Let's find out."

Christian makes no move to stand. Instead, he fishes his keys out of his pocket and singles out the playroom key, saying, "First, go choose my weapon."

Suddenly confused and afraid, Ana can only say, "Weapon?"

Avidly watching her reaction to his words, Christian slowly nods and says, "You said nothing harsher than my hand for punishments. But we're in playtime now, so you're mine to do with as I wish, and you refused me after the massage."

Admittedly turned on by his declaration, Ana's fear of pain remains strong enough that she protests, "And you refused me. I don't get to punish you?"

Christian's smile is kind when he gently admonishes, "Baby, you're doing it right now."

Suddenly understanding a little more about this man she loves, Ana releases all her fear with a deep, trembling breath. And then she takes the keys from Christian's fingers as she says, "Sorry, Sir."

* * *

Where credit's due: Sappho –translation mentioned is entitled "Ode to a Loved One"


	12. Chapter 12

Author's note: The music mentioned is Intermezzo, from Cavalleria Rusticana.

Your continued support is making me want to keep writing. It's rather cruel of you, really. Thank you.

Special thanks to "Guest" for the impassioned comment that conclude, "AWESOME FRIKKIN STORY." Thanks, you made my day.

* * *

On the Rocks: Chapter Twelve

Ana is almost to the door when Christian says, "Ana?"

Turning to look at him, and remembering her role in the game, Ana says, "Yes, Sir?"

"You recall that I'm not a patient man?"

A little confused, Ana says only, "Uh, yes, Sir."

Christian hypnotizes her with the movement of suggestively grabbing his crotch with one hand and then says, "If you're not back in ten minutes, your punishment will be that I'll finish without you." At her quiet, smug smile, Christian calmly continues, "I warned you yesterday that you wouldn't like it."

At his words, Ana remembers the unnamed punishment he'd threatened her with yesterday, when she'd so disappointed him in the playroom, and a chill goes through her at the realization that Christian's resolve might just be up to the challenge. Not willing to risk it, Ana glances at her watch and then scurries out the door as she says "Yes, Sir," and, for the second time today, exits to the sound of Christian's laughter.

Once in the playroom, faced with a myriad of implements that she still barely understands, Ana's brain threatens to explode at the choice before her, especially given Christian's time limit. And she knows, she _knows_, that this rising panic within her is exactly what he'd intended when he set that limit. Faced with Christian's Grey's will versus a seemingly impossible choice, Ana says to the empty room, "Bastard." After yet another glance at her watch, she grabs the scariest option before heading back to Christian.

Careful to keep the "weapon" hidden behind her back, Ana enters to see that Christian is exactly where she left him on the recliner; leaning back with his eyes closed. And she wonders if that's part of his technique for coping with the pain. Just remembering that he's suffering threatens to remove all thought of play from her mind. But Ana knows Christian well enough to guess that distraction, not compassion, is what he needs. So she stands before him and says, "Sir?"

Christian's eyes fly open and there _is_ a flicker of pain in them, but it quickly disappears on seeing her and Ana's heart holds only love for him at the smile he gives her. And then he says, "Got something for me, Miss Steele?"

"Yes, Sir."

Her revenge is complete when Christian's eyes widen and he actually pales a little on seeing that she's now holding her blue, leather belt in both hands as an offering. His gaze flicks to hers; no doubt trying to work out what game she's now playing. But Ana is resolute and composed enough that Christian soon looks worried and then he says, "Are you sure about his, Ana?"

"Yes, Sir."

"You want me to beat you with your favorite belt?"

Her heart beating frantically at his choice of words, Ana remembers to trust Christian enough that her only display of fear is to swallow past the sudden dryness in her mouth before saying, "Please, Sir."

Ana begins to wonder if she's asked too much of Christian, when he stares at the gently coiled belt as if it's a striking cobra, and then he asks, "Why?"

"Because we're both afraid of it, Mr. Grey, and I don't want there to be real fear between us." And then Ana grins and says, "Also, you've pissed me off a couple of times today and the look on your face is payback."

Christian smiles at that, and then says, "You realize, of course, that _I'm_ supposed to be in control right now?"

"Yes, Sir. Have I not obeyed your commands?"

Christian shakes his head and says, "Yes, you have, Miss Steele." And then he takes a deep breath and orders, "Take your clothes off and lie face down on the table."

Ana is moving to obey when Christian reaching for the crutches reminds her of how fragile he currently is, so she says, "Uh, can we have a timeout, Sir?" When Christian only looks confused, Ana explains, "I'm sorry, I don't know the correct term."

Christian stops his efforts to get out of the chair and says, "That'll do. Change your mind?"

Ana smiles at the eagerness in his voice and says, "No, Sir. But you're not supposed to stand. May I please fetch a barstool, so that you don't exacerbate your injury?"

Christian smiles and says, "Okay, but only because I like the way _exacerbate_ sounds from your lips."

Grateful for his cooperation, Ana returns the smile and says "Thank you, Sir," as she heads for the kitchen.

As Ana returns to the living room, she can hear Christian at the piano. She doesn't recognize the piece, but can feel its effect; a stirring of bittersweet longing deep within her, until her chest actually aches with yearning. It's almost uncomfortably poignant and she can't help but wonder if the choice is for Christian, or for her, and then smiles when she realizes that, in this moment, it amounts to the same thing, because their pleasure is joined.

Christian gives no sign that he's noticed Ana's return. Without a word, and as quietly as possible, she puts the barstool next to the massage table before complying with Christian's last command. Only seconds later, totally naked and face down on the table, she hears the music end, and then the already familiar sound of Christian moving around the room on crutches. But it's several seconds before Ana hears him sit down beside her, shuffling the barstool as he does so. Her breath catches at the hunger in his voice when he says, "You're so beautiful."

Ana is still luxuriating in the warm glow of Christian's love for her when the loud crack of the belt fills the air. Every muscle in her body clenches as she braces for the pain. When there is none, Ana realizes that Christian has somehow made that sound with the belt alone. Her body trembles as it goes into shock at the memories of the last time she heard that noise. Ana reaches for and finds the legs of the table beneath her; gripping them for solace and strength, even as Christian growls, "Keep still."

After one, strangled sob, Ana says, "Yes, Sir."

Christian's voice is chillingly calm as he explains, "When the strap bites into your flesh again and again, and you're begging me to stop, remember that you chose this."

Ana knows that Christian is deliberately fuelling her fear to enhance the experience, for both of them. But knowing that she's safe and loved cannot stop her mind from silently screaming and looking for a place to hide, even as her body resumes it's trembling at his words and a deep, warm desire builds inside her at his domineering tone. Almost dizzy with fear and passion, and Christian hasn't even touched her yet, Ana forgets to reply until that same insanely loud snap of the belt reminds her and she yelps, "Yes, Sir."

Apparently pleased with how things are progressing, Christian's voice is softer when he asks, "Do you love me?"

Dazed by the sudden shift in pace, Ana stammers, "Uh, yes..yes, Sir."

Ana gasps in surprise when the belt slowly caresses her body as Christian says, "Name one thing you love about me." Shocked at the question, Ana's mind goes distressingly blank. The belt is sliding off her back as Christian says, "Then we're done here."

Suddenly more terrified of being without the belt than of even the remembered pain, Ana exclaims, "Your voice! I love you voice, Mr. Grey."

Even though she'd been half expecting it, the sudden impact of the belt across Ana's shoulders returns her fear with a vengeance and hones it to a sharp point that stabs at her belly. Gasping for air, Ana suddenly realizes that her dread is nothing compared to what Christian has just overcome to risk her fleeing from him again and she says, "Thank you, Sir."

Ana hears Christian's breath catch, but he makes no comment. Just as Ana's body is calming down, the leather resumes its caress as Christian says, "You'll tell me one thing that you love about me and I'll reward you with the belt. If you stop or even falter, we're done. If I make it to your feet, I'll fuck you."

Wondering how in hell she'll be able to endure this level of emotional and physical stimulation for that long, Ana says only, "Yes, Sir."

When the belt again begins to slide from her back, Ana realizes her error and quickly says, "Your courage. I love your courage."

Even as Ana finishes speaking, the belt bites at her again, a little lower on her body. Somewhat prepared this time, Ana is able to analyze the experience and notices that, despite the alarming percussion of leather on flesh, the pain isn't too bad; more a focus point than a cutting pain like that other time, and it leaves a pleasant hot tingling in its wake . Christian's breathing is already a little ragged as he struggles with his own physical reaction to their play, and that sound alone is enough to catalyze Ana's arousal, until she's trembling from desire rather than fear. So she confidently pronounces, "Your generosity," and the belt slaps against her just beneath the last blow.

The ritual continues, with Ana gradually drowning in a flood of raw emotion and burning sensation, her only measure of time the fact that when she says "Your strength," the belt bites at the stop of her thighs. So close to where she longs Christian to be, the precise stroke elicits an involuntary moan from Ana's lips and Christian begins to remove the belt from her body as he says, "Are we done?"

Horrified that, this close to release, Christian's resolve might lead him to leave her passion unrequited, Ana panics and blurts out, "Your scars!"

Christian freezes for a moment and then says, "My scars?"

Terrified that she's breeched some unstated boundary, Ana knows that there's no going back now and nervously answers, "Yes, Sir."

"You love my scars?"

Reassured by the absence of anger in his voice, Ana confirms, "Yes, Sir."

"Why?"

Christian sounds so lost that Ana dares to lift her head enough to look at him. He's sitting on the barstool beside her, the belt dangling from one hand, apparently forgotten. The crutches are scattered on the floor, and Ana idly wonders how she could have failed to hear them fall. Christian is looking at her, his expression one of total bewilderment. Sensing that playtime is over, Ana sits up slowly enough that Christian can stop her with a word if necessary. When he doesn't, and only follows every movement with his eyes, she sits up facing him and says, "Because, if it weren't for your scars, we wouldn't have even met, you wouldn't have pursued me and I would never have found out how easy you are to love."

When Christian shakes his head and looks pained, Ana guesses that it's not the ankle making him uncomfortable. And she suddenly realizes that, despite his improvised rules for this play, he still hasn't fully accepted that she loves him. The distress that this epiphany causes her brings Ana's arms across her body, an automatic defense against pain, at the dawning realization that the damage done by Christian's start to life means that, even after all they've been through, he simply cannot believe that she needs him just as much as he needs her. And her love for him expands as she understands that he truly doesn't expect her to return on Friday, but will let her walk out the door anyway, because it's what she wants. A shiver runs through Ana's body when she suddenly comprehends that, despite appearances, the one with all the power in this relationship is her, and she senses that the imbalance needs to be corrected before she leaves in the morning, or the next five days will be a living hell for Christian as he waits for her to say goodbye.

This entire, distressing revelation fires through Ana's mind in only a second, so that Christian is still looking at her, shaking his head in defiance of her last words. Ana senses that, after the day they've had, Christian is unusually vulnerable, and this may be her only chance to restore the balance. So, drowning in naked emotion, every nerve end aflame with sensation, Ana forces her torpid limbs to obey. She reaches out to rest her hands on either side of his face, stopping his head from fighting her as she calmly states the simple truth, "Christian, I love you."

Christian makes a half-hearted attempt to escape her grasp as he protests, "Ana, I…"

Still holding his face captive, Ana slides her thumbs onto Christian's lips, silencing him, as she simply repeats, "I love you."

Christian's gaze hardens and he finds the strength to pull back out of her hands as he says, "Playtime's over."

Deeply distressed at his inability to hear her, Ana rests her trembling hands on her knees as she gently insists, "I love you."

Ana startles and then almost passes out from the shock when Christian suddenly and forcibly slams the belt down on the table beside her as he commands, "Enough!"

Ears still ringing with the lightning crack of leather on leather, every single muscle quivering in instinctive fear, Ana's voice is almost a sob as she somehow finds the strength to say, "I love you, Christian Grey."

His resolve failing him with each, fresh assault on his world, Christian leans forward until their foreheads are just touching and whispers, "Ana, please stop, I beg you."

Seconds away from dissolving into a weeping mess of incoherency, Ana summons the last reserves of her indomitable will and says, "I love you, Fifty Shades, only you."

And then he's kissing her. At first worried that it's just another attempt at silencing her, Ana understands that Christian has finally accepted her love when there is none of the usual desperation as his lips tenderly, almost hesitantly, brush against hers, savoring the sensation. And then his tongue gently quests for hers, sending repeated thrills of pleasure through her body at each contact. Only when Ana's hands thread through his hair, pulling him closer, does Christian moan and fall into the embrace, almost frantically seeking solace from her.

When Christian finally ends the kiss, it's only to trail his lips along Ana's cheek to her ear and he murmurs, "Say it again."

Smiling at this wonderful new game, Ana whispers, "I love you." Even though she's confident that Christian can now truly hear those words, Ana is still shocked when a tremor runs through his body, as if even his cells are adjusting themselves to this new truth. Finally satisfied that Christian will be okay without her, Ana says, "Can we fuck now?"

Christian lifts his head to give her _that_ smile, so beautiful it almost causes her real pain, and he says, "Miss Steele, I thought you'd never ask." Ana spreads her legs to welcome him as Christian then stands and rests his hands on the table either side of Ana's body, easing the weight on his ankle. And then he smiles apologetically and says, "You'll have to help me; condom in my front pocket."

Eager to assist, Ana says, "Which one?" When Christian only raises one eyebrow in answer, Ana senses that he's not in a hurry. It's patently obvious that Christian is _very_ ready for the condom, and dresses to the left. So Ana deliberately "searches" his right pocket and says, "Nope, not in there."

Christian's lips part slightly as Ana slowly and deliberately runs the back of her fingers along his waistband as she heads to his other pocket, saying, "Maybe it's over here."

Ana fixes her gaze on Christian's as she slides her hand inside his left pocket. Already panting with need, he moans as the tips of her questing fingers brush against his erection, then closes his eyes and says, "God, woman, what you make me feel."

Giving up all pretense of searching for the condom, that she's already found, Ana deliberately stimulates him through the thin cloth of his pocket as she says, "Mostly, you feel horny, Mr. Grey."

Christian gasps at her audacity, chuckles and says, "Since meeting you, yes." Suddenly, the space between them seems vast, so Ana holds the condom packet between her teeth as she almost desperately starts unbuttoning Christian's jeans. He chuckles and says, "Now that's sexy."

Having freed Christian from the constraints of his jeans and boxers, she looks down and removes the packet from her mouth to comment, "No, _that_ is sexy."

When his dick twitches in response to her words, Ana's delighted gaze meets Christian's and, with a quiet smile, he says, "You own me, too."

Now almost frantic with need for him, Ana tears the packet open and quickly rolls it on. And then she reaches behind her to grip the edge of the table, offering Christian her body as she says, "Prove it."

Christian's eyes blaze with lust at her brazen challenge as he says, "Yes, ma'am." His gaze locked on hers, Christian grabs Ana's hips and drags her towards him until her buttocks are just off the table and then slides his hands under her ass, cushioning her tailbone from the hard edge. The prospect of falling holds no concern for Ana, because she knows that Christian wouldn't permit it. Their hips now perfectly aligned, Ana leans her head back in absolute surrender as Christian slams into her with all the force that his injury will permit. A scream is torn from Ana's throat at the exquisite impact and white-hot pleasure explodes through her body as Christian sets up a steady, sedate rhythm more suited to their current surroundings.

Her body still arched towards Christian, Ana lifts her head enough to command, "Your mouth, my breasts, now."

Christian smiles and eagerly bends his back to the task as he again says, "Yes, ma'am."

Soon at the point where she can no longer distinguish pleasure from pain, Ana risks releasing one hand from the table to knot her fingers in Christian's hair. She pulls his head away from her left nipple, reveling in his obvious reluctance, and then smiles at his glazed look of pure ecstasy before rather breathlessly declaring, "You're a disgrace to the title of Dominant, Mr. Grey."

Having momentarily stilled while she spoke, Christian resumes his almost gentle thrusts as he proclaims, "And you're the worst submissive I've ever met, Miss Steele."

The agonizingly sweet feel of Christian moving inside her making it difficult to form words, Ana releases him and again grips the table as she gasps, "Thank you, Sir."

As if her words were intended as a command, Christian almost punishingly pushes into Ana, ignoring the sound of the table's protests as he commands, "Look at me."

Despite the fact that his voice sounds far away, Ana hears and obeys, anchoring her gaze on Christian and then she pulses through a loud, shattering orgasm as he lovingly breathes, "I fainted, sunk, and died away."


	13. Chapter 13

On the Rocks: Chapter Thirteen

When Ana again becomes aware of her surroundings, Christian has withdrawn from her, placed her more securely on the massage table, his arms encircling her and his face resting against her chest. Ana removes her cramped fingers from the table edge, weaves them through his hair and then tilts his head back, delighted at the look of utter peace on his face. Her body still thrumming with recent pleasures, Ana kisses Christian, savoring the smell and taste of him, and then she says, "I died away. Thank you."

Christian smiles and says, "La petite mort."

Ana giggles and says, "Exactly." And then she observes, "Oh, but you didn't experience _your_ little death."

Obviously content, Christian only smiles again and says, "It's all right, Ana. Next time."

Unhooking her ankles from behind his thighs, Ana rests her hands on his shoulders and hesitantly says, "So you don't need to...orgasm every time?"

Christian's eyes sparkle with amusement and he tilts his head as he observes, "I get it now; when you're horny, your vocabulary is even more vulgar than mine. But, when you're sated, like right now, you're girl-next-door, butter-wouldn't-melt-in-my-mouth, Daddy's-little-girl, right?" When Ana only blushes and won't meet his eyes, Christian laughs and says, "You are an absolute delight, Anastasia."

Embarrassed, Ana struggles futilely against his embrace and says, "You promised not to laugh at my issues."

When Ana stops struggling, Christian releases her and says, "Actually, I did no such thing. And no, Ana, I don't need to ejaculate every time we have intercourse. Thankfully, the pain was distracting enough that I could focus on you this time."

Mortified that she'd momentarily forgotten all about his injury, Ana says, "Oh, Christian, I'm sorry. Are you all right?"

Christian only smiles and says, "I'm fine, Ana. You're even more distracting than torn ligaments." Looking down at the long-forgotten crutches, he adds, "Though I'll again need your assistance."

Ana almost leaps off the table to help, as Christian pockets the condom and buttons up. He smiles his gratitude when Ana hands him the crutches, and then she orders, "Bed for you."

Christian laughs and says, "Ana, it's not even five. I'm not going to bed. Besides, we have the benefit tonight, remember?"

"You're not still going?" When Christian only infuriatingly raises one eyebrow, Ana protests, "Christian, you're much worse than you were this morning. And, if you don't rest that ankle, you'll be of no use to me next weekend."

Christian considers for a moment and then says, "What about a bath? We've both worked up a sweat. I can elevate the ankle while you sponge my chest for me." Ana's breath catches at what, for anyone else, would be an innocuous statement. She's still staring at Christian, panting slightly at the trust he's just shown her, when he leans forward to gently close her mouth as he says, "I had a feeling you'd like that idea. Come on. And perhaps wear that towel, unless you want Taylor to see the rest of you."

Glaring daggers at his retreating back, Ana wraps the bath sheet around her and ties it tight before grabbing her clothes and following Christian to his bedroom. Thankfully, they encounter no one on the way and Christian surrenders to Ana's bullying enough to lie on the bed with his foot propped up on cushions while she runs a bath.

Leaving the water running in the vast tub, Ana divests herself of the towel sarong and returns to Christian. His eyes are again closed when she enters, but he senses her approach and opens them. Walking towards her lover, watching his dark, passionate gaze intensify with every step she takes, Ana wonders if any woman has ever felt more attractive. Mindful of Christian's injury, Ana climbs on the bed and melds her body to his side, looking up at him as she says, "You totally cheated. We were arguing about the benefit."

Christian smiles and says, "You're the one who cheats, not me."

Stoically maintaining her "innocence", Ana says, "I'm sure that I don't know what you're talking about, Mr. Grey."

"Shirtless Xbox? I think most men would agree that's dirty tactics."

"Possibly, but I doubt that they'd complain."

Christian laughs and says, "True." And then he promises, "I'll take it easy, I swear. But I really do want you to meet Brit. When you asked me if I had any friends…he's probably the closest to it. We don't see each other except for these loathsome events. But…"

When Christian doesn't continue, Ana says, "You trust him?"

After a moment, Christian says, "Yeah, I think that maybe I do…oh, but anything he tells you about me is a lie, okay?"

Fighting a smile, Ana says, "Okay."

"I'm serious, Ana. Don't listen to a word he says."

Somehow managing to maintain a straight face, Ana says, "Yes, Sir." And then she hesitates before saying, "I'm sorry, about before." At Christian's confused look, she explains, "I…you asked me to stop and I didn't. But…I'm so sorry, Christian; I just couldn't see any other way to do it."

Christian kisses Ana well enough to erase all her concerns on the matter and then says, "You _were_ brutal. But it worked. So I forgive you for once again turning my world upside down." And then he smiles speculatively and comments, "Though I suppose that means it's now right side up?"

Reassured, Ana smiles at his words and then asks, "Do you feel any different; about me, or us…or yourself?"

Christian smiles and says, "Hoping that I'm free of my past?" At Ana's sheepish shrug, he continues, "No, baby, that's more weight than even you can carry for me. But I do feel…more relaxed, I guess, about almost everything."

"And you'll be okay when I leave?"

With a wry grin, Christian says, "Well, I'm still not thrilled with the idea. But it no longer feels like goodbye." And then he smiles and continues, "It's probably for the best, anyway. I'm not, I've been told, very pleasant to be around when I'm injured."

Managing to keep a straight face, Ana says, "Strange. So far, I've found you _extremely_ pleasant."

With a modest smile, Christian says, "Yes, well, if I could fuck everyone who had a problem with me, there'd be few complaints."

Ana nestles against him as she murmurs, "_No_ complaints."

She snaps to attention when Christian smacks her already tender buttocks and says, "Hey, no going to sleep; the bath."

Sitting up, rubbing her ass, Ana glares at him and says, "Not sleeping, snuggling. And I'm beginning to see the unpleasant now." When Christian only laughs, Ana goes to check the bath without further comment. After turning off the taps, she spends some time working out how to get Christian into the bath safely and then returns to the bedroom. Christian has stripped off everything but his jeans and is undoing the Velcro straps on his ankle brace, so Ana suggests, "How about I take it from here?"

With a quiet smile, Christian leans back against the pillows and says, "Be my guest, Miss Steele."

Only now realizing that helping Christian bathe could lead to more lovemaking, Ana shakes her head as she removes the brace, saying, "I'm almost looking forward to a few days off, just so I can rest."

When they're both quiet for several seconds, Christian says, "It will seem like a long time."

Careful to avoid touching his bare chest, Ana again snuggles against his side and says, "A very long time."

Christian kisses her forehead and then takes one of her hands in his, holding her palm flat against his chest as he says, "Reconsidering?"

After a moment, Ana says, "Every second, but I'll still go."

With no trace of bitterness or criticism, Christian says, "Why?" When Ana doesn't immediately reply, he continues, "I understand and accept the reasons you've given me so far. But they're becoming less true with every minute and you're running out of excuses for not moving in here."

Ana has to laugh at that and says, "True, but I'll still go. I need to find out if we really work when we're not with each other twenty four hours a day and fucking every chance we get."

Christian grins and says, "Actually, that's almost exactly how I've been picturing it will be when you move in here."

Ana laughs again and says, "No doubt. But you're smart enough to know we can't actually do that every day. Oh, but I am very grateful for these two days, thank you, Christian. I'll remember this forever."

Leaving her hand on his chest, Christian cups her chin to kiss her and then simply says, "My pleasure."

Ana dares to thread her fingers through the hairs on his chest a little, her heart rejoicing when Christian doesn't gasp in shock and then she says, "Come on; bath, or we'll be late, and I want to meet your friend."

Christian appears genuinely concerned when he says, "You remember what I said about him lying, right?"

Ana laughs as she starts on removing Christian's jeans and says, "Oh, I _have_ to meet this guy."

With Ana's cooperation, great difficulty and some pain, Christian is finally reclining in the bath, with his injured limb elevated on a folded towel just outside the tub. His heavy-lidded eyes languidly follow Ana's every movement as she enters the tub and kneels opposite him. Ever mindful of his issues about touching, Ana has decided to ease into washing his chest. Without a word, she thoroughly lathers her hands with body wash and, as if Christian isn't even there, starts washing her arms, first one and then the other.

Still without looking at Christian, Ana lathers up again and continues leisurely washing her body. By the time she's caressing soaped hands across her belly, Ana can hear Christian's heavy breathing. And, when she slides both hands up to cup and encircle her breasts, Christian's enraptured moan sends a shiver through Ana's body and sets her hands trembling. Finally unable to maintain her feigned indifference, Ana glances at Christian to see that his arms are spread wide, gripping the edge of the tub, and he's staring at her with a look so intense that it could cut through metal. Echoing his earlier words, Christian huskily declares, "An absolute delight."

Reveling in this relatively new and potent feeling of power over him, Ana smiles and says, "Your turn, I think."

When there's a flicker of apprehension in Christian's eyes, Ana says, "We don't have to do this. I only won the right to wash your back, not your chest. I don't need this, Christian, honest."

Christian nods his acknowledgment of her words and says, "Yes, but I don't see how you can safely wash my back without risking the ankle, and I don't go back on my word." And then he considers for a second and, with a grin, says, "Your breasts are _very_ soapy."

Ana smiles her understanding of his words and, glancing down at the evidence of Christian's arousal, peeking up out of the water, observes, "And we're going to need another condom."

Smiling, Christian says, "No, I'll wait."

Confused, Ana can only say, "You'll wait?"

"Tonight I'll have to endure watching you dance with other men." When Ana opens her mouth to protest, Christian orders, "You will _not_ sit by me as if I need a nursemaid." And then his voice is softer as he continues, "I think maybe you know me well enough to almost understand how frustrating it will be for me. The least you can do is stay frustrated, too."

Satisfied that he's not upset with her, Ana laughs and says, "I guess that's fair enough." And then she sobers and says, "I'm going to wash you now, starting with your ankle. Promise you'll let me know before it gets too much?"

When Christian nods his pledge, Ana very gently washes his injured ankle and then, distracted by her concern for him, is able to remain detached enough to almost mechanically wash his body up to and including his groin, at which point Christian groans and says, "_Very_ frustrating."

Ana only laughs and says, "Let me know if you change your mind, Mr. Grey." And then she holds the bottle of body wash above her and drizzles the scented liquid directly onto her breasts, smiling at Christian's openmouthed response to that simple action. After positioning herself between his thighs, Ana grasps the edge of the bathtub either side of Christian's shoulders and then leans against him, sandwiching his erection between their bodies as she "washes" his chest with hers.

Christian groans again, in pain or ecstasy, and then caresses Ana's back, silently encouraging her movements. Soon, Ana is panting with need, literally trembling with the effort of holding back her orgasm when Christian suddenly gasps, "Enough!"

Ana immediately pushes herself back from Christian and kneels before him, still trembling slightly as she tries to calm her pulse and breath. Christian's eyes are closed and he looks in such pain that Ana actually reaches a hand towards him before withdrawing it. And then she pleads, "Christian?"

His eyes still closed, chest heaving as he struggles with feelings almost too powerful for one body to contain, Christian says, "I'm fine. Just…it's a little intense." He quickly calms down, opens his eyes, smiles and says, "Fun game, thank you."

Blinking away a few tears, Ana says, "I thought that…it didn't hurt?"

"No, baby, no pain. But no one has ever touched me like that, so it's going to take some getting used to." Then Christian offers one of his brightest smiles and says, "Though I'm prepared to put in the hours, until it becomes easier."

Incredibly relieved that he seems okay, Ana's laugh is half sob and she says, "I can live with that." When Christian opens his arms to her, Ana readily stretches out against him, this time lying still in his embrace, and then she comments, "We'd better get out soon, or we'll go to the benefit as prunes."

Christian chuckles and says, "Yes, I suppose you're right. And you haven't even seen the gift I bought you yet." When Ana lifts her shining face to his, Christian adds, "Well, gifts, actually."

Torn between concern over how much Christian may have spent on her this time, and naked curiosity about the nature of these gifts, Ana wordlessly rinses the suds from both of them and then helps Christian from the bath. Only when Ana moves to towel him dry does Christian complain, "I said that I don't need a nursemaid, Ana. Go and get ready. It's in your room."

"You're sure?" When Christian's answering glare threatens violence, Ana says, "Okay, Grey, relax." Careful to not let her ass cheeks within range of his twitching palm, Ana quickly brushes her hair and again dons only a towel before heading to her bedroom.

On entering the room, she spots the royal purple, full-length, strapless evening gown laid out on the bed, matching shoes nearby. Worried about how much the dress might have cost, Ana is nevertheless pleased that Christian thinks her worthy of such a gift. She holds it up for closer examination and spots something amiss. Marveling at the gall of the man, Ana drops the dress as if stung. Furious, she heads to the closet to choose a different gown. However, Christian has obviously thought of that and it's empty. Even her suitcase is missing and Ana recalls that she asked Taylor to return it to the car.

After glaring at the dress for a while and silently cursing Christian, Ana surrenders enough to at least try it on, in the hopes that it won't be quite as risqué as she's imagining. But it is. Ana appraises her appearance in the full length mirror and is forced to acknowledge that the figure-hugging form of the gown is incredibly flattering. She attempts a few bends and tucks, trying to work out just how revealing it might be when Christian suddenly says, "Interesting ritual. Do you go through this preparation before every dinner?"

Immediately back to furious again, Ana whirls on Christian and is momentarily halted at the sight of him in a classic tuxedo, freshly and immaculately groomed, his perfection marred only by the crutches and a more rigid ankle brace. Shaking her head to clear his effect on her, Ana angrily says, "I'm not wearing this dress." When Christian only raises an eyebrow, Ana's brain catches up with what she just said, and she protests, "You know what I mean; I'm not wearing this dress in public…not ever."

Christian approaches and says, "Why not? It suits you very well."

Turning, with her arms in the air, Ana shows off the side panels of the dress, consisting of thin, horizontal strips of material, ending in open slits from her thigh to ankle as she complains, "I can't wear a bra or panties with this thing or it would look ridiculous."

Clearly struggling to conceal a smile, Christian says, "So, don't. You've gone without panties before tonight."

Becoming more furious by the second, Ana insists, "Yes, but this time everyone will _know_ that I'm not wearing any, and the last time was also your fault!" Taking a breath to calm her escalating rage, Ana repeats, "I'm not wearing this dress."

Now standing right in front of her, Christian counters her fury with serenity and quietly declares, "You will." When Ana opens her mouth to protest, Christian says, "You will, because it pleases me."

Even as she again opens her mouth to argue, Ana can feel a rebellious part of her that is thrilled at his words and eager to comply. Again shaking her head, trying to clear her thoughts, Ana says, "But…you don't like men looking at me."

Bringing a small jewelry box from inside his jacket and offering it to her, Christian says, "That was before I was sure of you…of us. Now that I trust what we have, I feel a pressing need to show you off and make everyone else fall in love with you, too." As Ana accepts her second gift, Christian says, "You're beautiful, Anastasia, and you should know it."

The last of her tantrum fading, Ana holds his gaze as she says, "I don't need a room full of rich people for that, Christian. I know it every time you look at me."

Christian beams his pleasure at her words and gestures to the jewelry box, saying, "Open it."

Ana does so to reveal a large, oval pendant and drop earrings of a dark, purple stone with gold filigree mounts. Unable to resist gently touching the pendant with hesitant fingertips, Ana says, "What's the stone?"

"Amethyst."

Ana shakes her head and looks at him to say, "I don't think so, Christian. Amethyst isn't this dark."

With a slight smile, Christian says, "It's a variety called deep Siberian; very rare, and was the favorite gemstone of Catherine the Great."

"Ridiculously expensive?"

His smile widening, Christian says, "I'm sure that you'd think so."

Ana considers for a few seconds and then asks, "Do you honestly think that there's any way you can compel me to wear something unless I wish it?"

Serious now, Christian shakes his head and says, "I'm not that stupid. I only removed the other gowns so that you'd give this one a chance. But I understand that it's your choice. If you insist, you can wear something else."

"And you won't freak out when I'm dancing with some stranger who'll be forced to touch my flesh because of the gaps in this dress?"

Christian's eyes widen and he says, "That hadn't actually occurred to me."

At the growing horror on his face, Ana says, "Then we'll consider that punishment enough for manipulating me."

Christian smiles and says, "You'll wear it?"

"I'll wear it. But I'll make you regret it."

Christian leans forward on the crutches to quickly kiss her and says, "Sounds like fun." And then he gestures to the jewelry and asks, "May I?"

Ana cooperates by turning her back, so that Christian can balance and put the pendant around her neck. Even though she'd been half expecting it, Ana starts at the shock of Christian's lips on her bare shoulder and a shiver runs through her as he murmurs, "Thank you, Anastasia."

Ana turns and, while Christian holds the box for her, replaces her earrings with the amethysts and then snaps it shut and says, "Ready."

Looking doubtful, Christian says, "Uh, not that I mind, but you don't want to put on some makeup?"

"No point, I don't have…you've stocked my en suite with everything I'll need, haven't you?"

Christian only shrugs and says, "I'm surprised you didn't assume I'd do so."

Ana laughs and says, "You're right. I should know better by now. Okay, rest that ankle and I'll be with you in ten minutes."

In fact, Ana's bathroom is not only stocked with makeup that compliments the dress and her coloring, but a clutch purse that matches her outfit. She quickly applies a minimum of makeup and stocks the purse with a few things before taking care of essentials and returning to Christian. He's sitting on her bed, with his eyes closed. Now that she's not upset with him, Ana can see the slight pallor to his skin and says, "You're in pain. Did you take anything for it?"

Christian's eyelids flicker, but stay closed, and he says, "I don't like drugs."

"You drink alcohol. That's a drug."

Opening his eyes, Christian looks at her to say, "I don't drink much. And you know very well that I'm talking about powerful painkillers with adverse side effects. I've taken some Advil."

Without a word, Ana ducks to the bathroom for a second, returns with some Arnica cream and asks, "Have we got time?"

"Yes, we're early." With a grin, Christian says, "I thought it would take much longer to persuade you."

As Ana carefully removes the ankle brace, she says, "I appreciate you making this room comfortable for me, Christian, but I no longer want or need my own space when I'm here."

Christian nods and says, "That's one of the reasons I emptied the closet. Your clothes are already in my room. We'll turn this into a guest room, or whatever else you wish."

"Guest room is fine, thank you." Looking at Christian's ankle, swollen and bruised, Ana gently presses her lips to him and then shakes her head as she says, "I don't even understand how it happened; we landed so gently." When Christian says nothing and looks uncomfortable, Ana asks, "What did you do?"

With a shrug, Christian says, "We were coming in too fast."

Thinking back, Ana recalls a sudden jolt just after they'd hit the tree line and she says, "You slowed us down by deliberately putting your foot against a tree limb."

Christian smiles a little and says, "A very solid limb as it turns out. Fucking thing didn't even bend."

Without a word, Ana uses the towel to protect her dress, and then gently applies the soothing cream to Christian's ankle, reapplies the brace and asks, "Too tight?"

"No. No, that's fine, thank you." And then Christian tilts his head and says, "Why do I feel like I'm supposed to apologize for something?"

Ana lies across the bed, as best the dress will permit, and rests her head on Christian's lap as she says, "You might have been really hurt."

Christian gently caresses her hair as he says, "If I hadn't done it, you might have been. But we're both fine, Ana." They hear the footsteps approaching and Christian asks, "Would you rather not go?"

Determined to get over her fear of _what if_, Ana sits up and says, "After managing to squeeze into this dress?"

Proving that he's aware of the effort she's making, Christian says, "Thank you."

By the time Taylor appears in the open doorway, Ana is putting on her shoes. The ever-efficient assistant is holding their coats and, at Christian's nod, helps Ana into hers. When he moves to do the same for Christian, Ana says, "I'll do that."

Only as Taylor nods and says "I'll be in the car," does Ana notice that he's avoiding her eye. When he's gone, Ana helps Christian into his coat and says, "Do you think he'll ever be able to look at me again?"

Christian laughs and says, "Not while you're wearing that dress."

Despite the challenge of Christian being on crutches, Ana manages to sort of hold his hand as they make their way to the car. In the elevator, the usual tension fills that small space and Christian exclaims, "Fucking bird!"

With a smile, Ana moves in front of him, kisses him and says, "Stop pouting, or I won't be able to wait."

Momentarily appeased by her promise, Christian smiles and says "Yes, ma'am," as the elevator announces their arrival at the garage level.

Taylor is, of course, waiting for them and helps Ana into the car, letting Christian take care of himself, and then puts the crutches in the trunk. Ana again chooses the middle seat, so that she can snuggle against Christian. As Taylor drives out of the garage, Ana quietly says, "Why is the chest worse?" When Christian immediately tenses, Ana quickly adds, "I don't need to know."

Christian relaxes a little and, after a second, says, "Possibly not, but I want you to." And then he takes a deep breath and says, "Because I could see them."

"Them?"

"Him and…"

When Christian doesn't continue, Ana clutches his arm a little tighter and prompts, "Your mother?" When he only nods, Ana pulls Christian's face to hers and kisses his memories away, only stopping when he really relaxes and then she says, "Thank you."

They sit in a companionable silence for a while and then Christian says, "Any other burning questions?" When Ana glances at Taylor, he adds, "Where's the trust?"

Ana smiles at that and then quietly says, "Our game this afternoon; why did you choose those rules, if you didn't really believe anything I said?"

Christian tenses again and says, "I thought you'd enjoy it."

Ana smiles and says, "Oh, I did. But that's not the real reason, is it?"

Christian smiles and says, "Maybe I'd better start calling you Sigmund."

Ana smiles and says, "Wouldn't it be more like _Sheila_ Freud? And you didn't answer my question."

Still smiling, Christian says, "And now you sound more like Flynn. Okay, I was feeling insecure about us and desperate for reassurance that you need me just as I need you."

"But it didn't work."

"Not until you bullied me, no."

"So, you wouldn't want to play that game again?"

With a slight smile, Christian says, "Oh, so you enjoyed it _very_ much?" When Ana eagerly nods, Christian chuckles and says, "Okay, baby, we can do that. And maybe we'll get it right next time."

Ana smiles and says, "Well, I'm certainly no expert, but it felt right to me."

Smiling, Christian shakes his head and says, "I told you; there's not supposed to be an intermission. But you…you're very distracting."

With all her questions answered, Ana resumes their one, true game as she says, "And you haven't even seen me dance in this dress, yet."

* * *

Where credit's due: Thanks to jaxfan, for pointing out that chapter twelve hadn't uploaded properly, so that I could fix the problem.

To AriadneInNaxos, for continued inspiration (apologies, again, that I forgot last time).

And to Guest, for yet another impassioned comment, so long this time that my email account cut it short. Made me smile that you're "hostage" to a story that includes bondage as a theme.


	14. Chapter 14

Author's note: Dear Impassioned Guest, please get a username, so I can reply to you. In the meantime, thank you for your recent epistle.

* * *

On the Rocks: Chapter Fourteen 

As Taylor joins the queue of limousines and prestige sports cars outside the massive venue, Ana is back to being nervous about the dress and wishing that she hadn't agreed to wear it. She's staring out the window at all the pretty people entering the building when Christian firmly but gently grabs her chin and forces her gaze to his, saying, "Hey, you're at least as good as anyone in that room, and better than most." And then he grins and jokes, "If all else fails, imagine that they're not wearing underwear, either." When Ana manages a weak smile at that, Christian kisses her until she relaxes in his arms and then he says, "Also, unless it's part of your plan for revenge, would you please stop biting your lip?"

As usual unaware that she'd been doing so, Ana says, "Oh, sorry. No, I'm not that cruel." And then something occurs to her and, with a nervous glance at Taylor, she whispers, "Oh, Christian…about…oh, never mind."

With a slight smile, and sparkling eyes, confirming that he's silently laughing at her, Christian quietly says, "About me fingering you in public? I told you, Ana, that's up to you."

Blushing, Ana says, "I want to…well, I want to try it, anyway. But…it's a question of viscosity and volume."

Christian's sudden burst of laughter shocks Ana and makes her blush even more. She's retreating from his embrace when Christian clamps his arms around her and says, "I'm sorry, baby, but the fact that you have no idea how irresistible you are right now makes you even more so." And then he solemnly promises, "I factored in viscosity and volume when I chose the gown, just in case you got brave enough after all. Not even you in a high state of arousal could produce enough moisture to show through that material…though you'd better pray for dark upholstery, just the same."

Still embarrassed, Ana is reassured enough to calm down a little, though she clasps Christian's hand tighter as the car stops at the red carpet. Taylor rejects the assistance of the parking valet, instead fetching the crutches for Christian and then coming back for Ana. As he leans down to help her out of the car, Taylor offers a distinct wink and says, "Knock 'em dead."

Pleased that they're back on casual terms and grateful as ever for the man's quiet support, Ana smiles and says only, "Thank you."

Ana is momentarily startled by the number of camera flashes from outside a cordon of security staff and Christian leans close to say, "More fucking vultures."

And, with that, all Ana's concerns melt away as she laughs at this reminder of this morning's misadventure and rests her hand on his to walk the gauntlet of reporters and gawkers. The entrance foyer is quieter, but only just. Someone takes their coats and, at the look on Christian's face, Ana says, "What?"

Christian shakes his head as if to clear his thoughts and says, "I don't know how I could have already forgotten how good you look in that dress. You're absolutely stunning, Ana."

Ana smiles her gratitude and then, as if his words magically alter her perception, she suddenly becomes aware of the frankly admiring stares she's receiving from total strangers as she and Christian enter the reception area. She knows that Christian will be well and truly aware of the attention she's receiving. Given that not that long ago, he was intensely jealous, Ana murmurs, "You sure that you'll be okay with this?"

With a grin, Christian shrugs and says, "If I'm not, it'll be my own fault." And then he admits, "But it's going to test me, I think."

An usher escorts them to their seats. As they cross the room, Christian is recognized and accosted by several people, so it's slow going. Ana forgets their names almost as soon as she learns them, though is still ridiculously pleased every time Christian introduces her as his girlfriend. After every introduction, Christian uses his injury as an excuse to move on and Ana wonders how much is feigned, or whether he's really suffering. But there's nothing she can do about it, other than distracting him, so Ana tries to put it out of her mind.

Finally, they make it to their seats at a large, round table. Christian again uses his injury, this time to claim the seat next to him, so that he can elevate his ankle, temporarily throwing the staff into a panic. While Ana is sitting next to a rather rotund youth who almost stands up as she takes her seat, apparently unsure if the gesture is appropriate. Ana rewards him with a smile for the effort and introduces herself. Clearly delighted at the attention, "Jon" then launches into his short life story until the entrée arrives, and he's momentarily distracted by food.

Grateful for the reprieve, Ana has time to admire the unusual decorations on every wall; around thirty oversize photos of almost exclusively African children, all smiling at the camera. They're all so beautiful and Ana is feeling quite clucky when Christian says, "They're positive."

Totally confused, Ana says, "What?"

Nodding towards the photos, Christian explains, "HIV positive."

It takes a second to process his words and then, horrified, Ana shakes her head and says, "No."

With a grimace, Christian says, "I'm afraid so. That's what tonight is about; children with HIV or AIDS."

Remembering his attitude towards the evening, Ana says, "But…why are you so down on events like this, if it's for such a good cause?"

Not even bothering to moderate his voice, though the constant conversation throughout the room ensures that the sound doesn't carry very far, Christian says, "Because I find the idea that some people will only donate money if they're first entertained repugnant." And then he gestures to Ana's plate and orders, "Eat."

For once unmindful of his bossiness, Ana leans over to kiss Christian's cheek and whisper, "I love you."

Christian gasps and closes his eyes for a moment and, when he opens them, they're shining with joy. But he contains his smile and says only, "Then eat."

Beaming with pleasure at his response to her words, Ana holds Christian's gaze with hers as she blindly reaches down to dip one finger in the caviar and carefully lift a small portion to her mouth. The sudden and familiar intensity of Christian's regard causes a heat to spread through Ana's body as she automatically mirrors his desire, and then she precisely enunciates, "Yes, Sir."

Admitting defeat with a shake of his head, Christian returns his attention to the meal as he murmurs, "Round one to you, Miss Steele."

Unused to caviar, it proves a bit much for Ana, likewise the citrus-vodka aperitif, so she contents herself with the blinis and crème fraîche. At Jon's avid scrutiny of her plate, Ana silently passes the almost untouched jar of caviar to him, prompting Christian to lean over and murmur, "You're supposed to eat it, not bribe young men with it."

Becoming more confident with every minute, Ana smiles and equally quietly says, "I don't need caviar for that."

Christian smiles, obviously delighted with her response and says, "Touché, Miss Steele. Another round to you." And then, his movements concealed by the tablecloth, he runs the back of his index finger along the outside of her bare thigh as he concedes, "I have some catching up to do." The promise contained in that simple, almost chaste gesture sends a shiver through Ana's flesh and she can't stop the blush that seems to only end when it reaches her toes. Christian chuckles and says, "Round three to me, I think."

Ana is saved by the arrival of their main course; fillet of beef with gorgonzola sauce, pear slices artfully drizzled with a sweet balsamic glaze and assorted, julienned crudité. Her mouth watering at the culinary artwork, Ana soon finds that the best result is achieved by loading her fork with a tiny portion of everything on her plate. She's only eaten half when Jon is finished and glancing her way. She smiles apologetically and says, "Sorry, Jon, too good."

He only smiles and says, "S'ok. Mom's always at me to eat less, anyway."

Having noticed that Jon only speaks to her, Ana says, "But she's not here?"

"No. My parents are on vacation. They asked me to represent the family. But I doubt anyone cares."

Formulating a plan, Ana says, "Can you dance, Jon?"

His eyes widen slightly and he says, "What…here, with you?" At Ana's nod, he says, "Sure, I can, but…"

When he doesn't continue, and is obviously nervous of the idea, Ana says, "Please, Jon." Gesturing to Christian, Ana continues, "My boyfriend is sidelined for the evening. But he wants me to have a good time and I dread the idea of dancing with a bunch of strangers. Also, I'm not a very good dancer. I'll feel braver if you stand up with me." And then she smiles and concludes, "You can even have my dessert."

At that, Jon smiles and says, "Okay, Ana."

Ana resumes her meal and Christian leans over to say, "Replacing me so soon, Anastasia?"

Without looking at him, Ana says, "Behave yourself. He's sweet." And then something occurs to Ana and she glances at Christian to nervously say, "He's no longer a stranger, Christian, I'm sorry."

A flicker of disappointment passes over Christian's face, before he says, "I should have known that you'd make a friend before the end of the meal."

"You're not upset?"

With a quiet smile, Christian murmurs, "Unless sexually frustrated is one of the definitions of upset, then no, I'm not upset."

It doesn't feel like something Ana should apologize for, so she says only, "Thank you."

Christian shrugs and says, "It's okay, Ana. I knew you'd find some way to wheedle out of it."

Ana can feel the immediate effect of his words; a sudden desire to prove him wrong and go through with it, despite her misgivings, so she says, "I know what you're doing, Grey."

All "innocence", Christian says, "What am I doing, Anastasia?"

Shaking her head at his temerity, Ana resumes her meal to the sound of Christian's soft, triumphant laughter. Dessert soon arrives and Ana simply slides the elegant, crystal bowl Jon's way, but he says, "You should at least try it."

Ana smiles and says, "Now you sound like Christian. He's worried that I don't eat enough."

Jon blushes a little and says, "You're fine." And then he looks from Christian to Ana and asks, "Christian Grey?"

Suddenly wary, Ana says, "Yes. Why?"

Equally unsure, Jon says, "Oh, it's…my parents know him, is all. We don't normally get invited to anything quite as nice as this, but Mr. Grey arranged…have I said something wrong?"

When Ana realizes that her anger must be showing on her face, she smiles it away and says, "No, Jon, not you." And then she offers him her best smile and says, "Let's dance."

Utterly confused, Jon says, "The band hasn't started yet."

Ana stands, courage fuelled by rage, and says, "They will if we start dancing." Sure enough, that's exactly what happens; only seconds after Jon leads Ana in a tentative waltz, the band plays music to match their pace. A short time later, couples join them as dinner concludes, and the lights soon dim as the waiting staff finishes clearing. When that dance ends, Jon consents to another, and another, and then begs off. He sees Ana to her chair and then heads in the direction of the bathrooms.

Still furious at Christian's meddling, Ana sits down and says nothing, though Christian jokes, "Looks like the caviar worked." When Ana finally looks at him, he blanches and says, "Oh, God, what now? I haven't fucking moved from this chair, Ana."

Trying to moderate her voice, Ana hisses, "How many people at this table are here because you paid for their tickets?"

Wary of her mood, but unapologetic, Christian says, "All of them. Why?"

"And did you deliberately invite only couples?"

"Well, yes. I didn't want you to have to fend off some Neanderthal all night."

"Christian, the only caveman here is you. Do you not trust me to handle myself in social situations? Or does your mistrust extend to preventing me from speaking with single men because you're worried what I'll throw myself at them?"

Frowning in confusion, Christian says, "I know you're not going to throw yourself at anyone. Why is this such a big deal, Ana?"

"So you don't trust me to negotiate my way through a conversation?"

"No…yes…of course I trust you. You're much better at casual social situations than I am, but…" Christian runs a hand through his hair and asks, "Why are you so upset about this?"

"That's the worst part; you don't even understand why this is wrong."

"Can you hear yourself? How can that be the worst part? If I don't understand what I've done wrong, how can you be _this_ angry with me?"

Unable to think of an immediate response, Ana takes a deep breath and says, "I'm going to the bathroom, and to calm down. But I want to discuss this later, okay?"

Christian offers a fake smile and lies, "I can't wait."

Ana replays their conversation as she heads to the bathroom. By the time she reaches the queue outside the ladies', she's calmed down and is leaning towards Christian's way of seeing things. After all, he really is trying to be what she needs. He just doesn't have an appropriate reference point to let him know how to be a boyfriend. Ana removes her shoes to give her feet a rest, and has made depressingly little progress in the long line when a man says, "Ana, darling, come with me."

Ana doesn't recognize the voice, and turns to find perhaps the kindest eyes she's ever seen. The man accompanying them has one of those faces that makes it hard to tell his age; anywhere from thirty to fifty, possibly beyond. It's only when Ana notices that the handkerchief poking out of his otherwise conservative and immaculate tuxedo is covered with crimson love hearts that she guesses, "Brit?"

Offering his arm, Brit smiles, nods and says, "Christian told me that you're smart."

Taking his arm, even as she wonders why, Ana slips her shoes on and says, "Where are we going?"

Brit smiles conspiratorially and says, "A secret. You'll like it."

Laughing, again without knowing why, Ana lets him lead her through empty corridors as she says, "I'm not sure I should trust you."

Apparently pleased with her statement, Brit smiles again and says, "Oh, so you're _very_ smart." And then, though they're now alone, he lowers his voice almost to a whisper and says, "Tell me, I've been dying to know all these years; is his penis magnificent?"

Too shocked to react, Ana stops and just stares at him for a second and then feels the flush spreading through her body, even as a small part of her becomes angry at his impertinence. But embarrassment wins and Ana is bright red as she stammers, "I'm not…I don't…"

Brit actually claps his hands together in glee and says, "Oh, an innocent! This is too perfect." And, if anything, Ana's color only deepens as her anger grows. Immediately contrite, Brit says, "And I've offended you twice in as many seconds. I'm so sorry, Ana, but how could anyone have suspected...come, you'll pee and then I shall tell you how I intend to make it up to you."

Brit is gesturing to the door of a small bathroom, minus a queue, and Ana, still recovering from meeting him, makes use of the facilities as if she has no will of her own. When she exits, Brit is patiently waiting and she says only, "Thank you."

Brit bows and says, "You're welcome. And I truly am deeply apologetic. It's just…Christian has always teased me about my predilection for virginal, young men. So, you see, _perfect_ is the only word to describe him falling for a delicate flower such as you, Ana."

Still wary, Ana says, "How young?"

Shocked by the question, Brit says, "Good God, not children, if that's what you're asking. They're all old enough to legally and intellectually make rational decisions, though the debate continues as to whether dating me is the rational choice."

Somewhat reassured, Ana then asks, "_How_ do you intend to make it up to me?"

Brit's smile is wide and then he leans close to whisper, "I shall make Christian Grey blush." When everything about Ana expresses disbelief, he says, "Oh, so you doubt me?"

"Christian said that you lie. Even if he hadn't, I've only seen him blush once or twice since I've met him, and never in public. So, yes, I doubt you entirely."

With a self-assured grin, Brit says, "And, if I accomplish this Herculean task, you'll forgive me?"

Determined to give the man a second chance, if only for the opportunity to entertain Christian, Ana says, "I will." Still wary of Brit, Ana ignores the offer of his arm and only walks beside him. After a few seconds, she asks, "Did Christian send you to find me?"

"Not exactly. I volunteered after he expressed a concern that you might be stuck in the bathroom rush hour." At Ana's look, he says, "Problem?"

Ana hesitates and then, remembering that Christian called Brit a friend, says, "It's starting to rankle that he can't trust me to even visit the bathroom."

Brit chuckles and says, "We've never seen one of Christian's girls. So, when he told me that he was bringing a date, I knew you'd have to be someone extraordinary to warrant such special treatment. And, now that I've met you, I'm surprised he's willing to even let you out of his sight."

Ana has to smile at that and says, "Thank you. He's…we're a work in progress." And then she asks, "We?"

"Oh, sorry. We, the gays; my friends and I."

"So, you never thought he was gay?"

Brit smiles and says, "Of course not. The dear boy has not once made a pass at me. Though I, of course, encouraged the rumor and hinted that he'd used me and abused me most abominably."

Wondering if that's what Christian was worried about when he cautioned against believing Brit, Ana says, "Why on earth would you do such a thing?"

"Why would I mess with rumormongers who should mind their own beeswax? Because fuck 'em, that's why."

They walk in silence for a few seconds as Ana considers his words. When she then slips her hand inside Brit's arm, he bends his elbow to accommodate her and says, "Forgiven me?"

Ana shakes her head and says, "Not quite."

Brit pats her hand where it rests on his arm and says, "You will."

Christian is mostly alone at the table, with several people now on the dance floor. Ana is pleased to see that Jon has found another partner. They're almost to Christian when he turns and smiles on seeing them. Brit sees Ana to her chair and then leans closer to both of them. His voice warm and his smile kind, he then says, "So, you finally spread your wings, Chrysalis? And with a virgin, no less."

Ana is both thrilled and slightly horrified to see Christian immediately blush. And then his gaze descends on her like a hammer. Not even knowing what she's defending against, Ana stammers, "I didn't…I wouldn't…he…"

Brit interrupts, "She told me nothing, Christian. And, if you punish this darling girl for being without guile, I shall never speak to you again."

Christian calms down almost immediately and icily says to Brit, "You realize, of course, that the prospect of silencing you is more of an incentive than a deterrent. And I've asked you not to call me that."

Unrepentant, Brit smiles at Ana as he says, "And I never will again. Clearly, it's no longer applicable."

Without knowing what they're talking about, Ana can only politely smile. But the love in Christian's voice when he says "No, it's not," gets her attention. And she's curious to know the story behind the nickname.

She's still smiling at Christian when Brit says, "Care to dance, Anastasia?"

Reluctant to leave Christian alone again, Ana waits for his nod before saying, "I'd love to."

Ana isn't very surprised to find that Brit is an excellent dancer, so she's able to relax and actually enjoy herself. After a while, he says, "You should have become a firefighter."

"What?"

Brit smiles and says, "If anyone looked at me, like Christian is looking at you, I'd burst into flames. But, clearly, you're made of sterner stuff."

Ana glances at Christian to see that his avid stare is fixed on her every move, and she says, "Thanks, for dancing with me. Christian wants me to have fun, and he needs a distraction from his injury. But…he's struggling with the idea of seeing me with other men."

Trying to summon a wounded air, Brit complains, "So, it's okay to dance with the gay man?"

Smiling at his affected tone, Ana explains, "It's okay to dance with someone he considers a friend."

Brit smiles warmly at that and then says, "Would you like to know how we met?"

"Very much."

Brit smiles again and then says, "Hmm…perhaps a conversation for quieter surroundings." When he leads Ana off the dance floor, she says, "But; Christian?"

Brit only waves a hand in Christian's direction and says, "Let his heart grow fonder. It'll do him good."

After a glance at Christian, to make sure that he sees her leaving with his friend, Ana complies and lets Brit lead her backstage, prompting her to say, "How do you know your way around so well?"

"Christian and I always use this place."

Surprised, Ana says, "Christian is one of the hosts?"

Clearly confused, Brit says, "He didn't tell you? Grey Enterprises is our only sponsor. It costs him a small fortune every year, but Christian has a way of turning money into more money."

Ana has to smile at that and says, "So I've heard. How did you meet?"

When they're seated, Brit says, "Well, to begin, you need to know that I am irrevocably and quite literally attracted to cruel men." As Ana ponders the implications of these words, Brit continues, "One night, about five years ago, my date at the time was in a particularly…feisty mood. Unfortunately for him, Christian Grey happened upon us just as I was punched in the face."

Sensing where it's going, Ana says, "Oh, dear."

Brit's eyes gleam and he says, "Indeed. He really is quite spectacular when he's angry, isn't he?" Without waiting for a reply, he continues, "When Christian stepped in on my behalf, the poor boy I was with pushed him and told him to back off."

Picturing the scene; a young Christian Grey being shoved in the chest, Ana says, "Oh, God. What happened?"

Brit shrugs and says, "Oh, nothing, really. With one perfect punch, Christian sat the boy on his ass. Considering that the young man then immediately started whimpering and begging for mercy, I don't think he'd ever been hit before. I was…well, I was turned on even before Christian came to my rescue. I was practically panting by the time he asked if I was okay."

"So, this was part of a scene?"

With a speculative look, Brit says, "You share Christian's fondness for games?"

Uncomfortable discussing it with him, Ana shrugs and says only, "Like I said; work in progress."

Apparently content with that vague answer, Brit says, "Well, aren't we all?" And then he continues, "One look at me and Christian realized what was going on. In a deliciously disapproving tone he serenely suggested that we play indoors from now on." With a small shrug, Brit concludes, "I've tried since that day to see him angry again, with only limited success." At Ana's knowing smile, he asks, "What is it?"

"He, uh…Christian is barely aware of it, but he _really_ likes it when people defy him. If he were attracted to men, you'd be perfect for him…more so than I am, I think."

Clutching his chest, Brit says, "Ana, why would you say such a cruel thing? Now I shall be forever wondering what might have been."

Finally getting a handle on this indiscreet, almost indecent man whom Christian trusts, Ana only smiles and says, "I think we both know that you would have been forever wondering regardless of whether Christian ever met me."

Brit stares at her in open-mouthed surprise for a second and then he laughs and says, "I almost feel sorry for the dear boy now." At Ana's confusion, he explains, "With your ability to see through walls, and Christian's absolute need to live behind them, he must have been truly terrified of you. His well-constructed barriers probably shattered at a word from you."

Ana colors slightly and says, "Three words, actually." His words have ignited an understanding within Ana and she spontaneously leans over to kiss his cheek. Smiling slightly, Brit says, "Not that I'm complaining, but what was that for?"

"Oh, for helping me learn something of Christian, and for loving him." And then Ana asks, "Chrysalis?"

Brit considers for a moment and then says, "You know the word?" At Ana's nod, he continues, "Though we don't discuss our sex lives while doing needlepoint, Christian and I have shared something of our…individual needs, more so when he was younger. And it always seemed to me that he was holding something back, though he denied it most stringently, to the extent that it's one of the few things guaranteed to let me witness his anger."

Ana nods and says, "Hence _Chrysalis_?"

Brit nods and says, "Exactly. I was beginning to give up hope that he'd ever emerge from his shell, but now that he has you, he can finally be whole."

Blinking furiously at her sudden tears, Ana says, "Would you like to know how Christian and I met and fell in love?"

Handing her the handkerchief from his breast pocket, Brit's voice matches his kind eyes as he says, "More than anything."


	15. Chapter 15

Author's note: Dear Impassioned Guest; excellent point, and kudos for the perfectly sarcastic rendering of my username. I'll have to content myself with silently treasuring your rants.

As for the rest of you; 23 555 views? How is that even possible? Thank you. Again, sorry if I don't reply when you comment, but I am reading and trying to keep up with them.

Speaking of lots of comments; cannot now recall who suggested that the character Brit make an appearance during the week. Whoever you are, thanks.

* * *

On the Rocks: Chapter Fifteen

Unsure how much to tell Brit, Ana settles for a retelling of the day she met Christian Grey. Within seconds, Brit is a rapt audience, hanging on her every word. Ana is almost to the moment when Christian reluctantly said goodbye, as she'd entered the elevator, when the flick of Brit's gaze warns Ana that someone is behind her, and she guesses that it's Christian. As she concludes, Brit says, "And when did you know that you were in love with him?"

Imagining Christian's keen interest, Ana smiles and says, "The first time I heard him play the piano."

Brit looks past her and says, "Oh, God. He plays piano, too?"

Still without looking at Christian, Ana nods and reveals, "Beautiful music, so heartrendingly forlorn that it almost hurts to hear it. Don't you, darling?"

Ana hears Christian limp towards them on his crutches as he confesses, "Only for you, Anastasia." He stops behind Ana and kisses the top of her hair, then says to Brit, "If you're done corrupting the young, it's time."

Immediately concerned, Brit says, "You sure you're up for it? I can take this one."

Sounding weary, Christian says, "I'm fine. Let's just get it over with, so you can get their fucking money and I can get out of here."

Brit stands as he says, "I'll announce you in ten minutes, okay?"

Ana presumes that Christian nods, because Brit leaves after saying only, "Thank you, Ana."

Just having Christian in the same room with her means that Ana's nerves are suddenly humming with something like electricity, as if she'd been dormant until he arrived and is only now coming to life. She turns to watch him as he moves to a chair and it actually feels like pain that he again looks pale. Without a word, she climbs onto his lap as he sits down. At first surprised, he lets the crutches fall to the floor and embraces her. When Ana puts one hand over his heart and leans her head against his shoulder, Christian says, "You okay?"

Almost in tears, and without knowing why, Ana says, "I missed you."

"Not still angry with me?"

Ana shakes her head and says, "I'm so sorry, Christian. I shouldn't have reacted like that; sulking and running away from you. I know that everything you do is prompted by concern for me and you honestly don't know any other way of showing it. But I'm new to this whole relationship thing, too. So you'll have to be patient with me."

Christian holds her a little tighter and says, "Ana, you're the _only_ thing for which I have patience. Did Brit change your mind?"

"No. I realized my error just before I met him…oh; you know he's completely in love with you, right?"

When Christian tenses and then squirms as if uncomfortable, Ana lifts her head to look at him and puts her hand on his cheek as she says, "It's all right. He's not suffering, Christian. The way we love you…your happiness will suffice. Anything else is just a bonus, okay?"

As if he'd been waiting for those words as permission, Christian threads a hand through Ana's hair and kisses her as if his life depends on it. When his other hand then rests just inside her knee, Ana breathes "Please," against his lips.

Christian lifts his head to look at her and says, "If you move, speak, moan or blush, I'll stop. Do you understand?"

Confused, Ana says, "There's no one here, Christian, and the music is…" Suddenly bereft of his touch, Ana quickly amends, "Yes, Sir."

Christian returns his hand to the inside of her knee, barely touching her flesh as he caresses cobwebs of pleasure along her thigh, up under the velvet fabric. Ana only realizes that she's biting her lip when Christian's eyes darken and blaze with a sudden intensity. And she has to close hers, or risk crying out his name, but obeys him instantly when he commands, "Look at me."

Transfixed by Christian's obsidian stare, Ana clenches her fists as he almost casually tests her readiness with his fingertips, and then torturously slowly inserts one finger inside her until his thumb comes to rest against her clit. Summoning every reserve available to her, Ana manages to keep her reaction to the sound of her heart pounding loud enough that she can hear it, and breathing so hard that her nostrils flare with effort at each attempt to get enough oxygen. Still for a moment, as he gauges her reaction, Christian's gaze softens as he says, "Good girl."

Ana's breath catches and she startles a little as Christian then resumes his caresses, inside and out. She actually stops breathing, for fear that he'll stop. When he doesn't, her lips part slightly as she pants her need for more. His voice warm, Christian instructs, "Let your abdomen go in and out with each breath, not your chest."

Trembling slightly with the effort of not exploding in ecstasy, Ana obeys and feels her breathing relax a little, even as the muscles around Christian's hand scream for release. And then it's suddenly over, as he withdraws from her, smoothing the dress over her knees as he does so. Utterly bewildered, Ana gapes at Christian and says only, "Sir?"

Smiling at her reaction, Christian too briefly presses his lips to hers and says, "Showtime. Would you help me with the crutches?"

Only then does Ana notice that the music has stopped, and she can hear Brit at a microphone, thanking everyone for attending. Standing up to assist, Ana says, "So…I did okay?"

Christian gratefully accepts the crutches from her and says, "Better than okay. I don't know what you were worried about. We could do that onstage and no one would notice anything amiss. You're amazing."

Her body gradually recovering from the abrupt end to their impromptu game, Ana is inordinately pleased with his praise as she says, "And, yet, no orgasm."

Smiling slightly at his cleverness, Christian leans to kiss her one more time and says, "Good things _come_ to those who wait, Anastasia."

"So I've heard."

Ana follows Christian up into the wings. When he manages the few stairs with ease, she wonders just how many times he's been injured, and suddenly feels sorry for Grace; having to mend her broken little boy each time, yet without being permitted to comfort him. Shrugging off the anguish caused by the thought, Ana listens to Brit say, "If you've generously supported us in the past you'll know why the silver platters have been placed on your table. For those of you new to our little soiree; our munificent benefactor, CEO of Grey Enterprises, Christian Grey, will explain."

As applause fills the room, Ana echoes, "_Munificent_?"

Christian grimaces and says, "That's one of the reasons I do the talking; Brit is prone to superlatives." And then he grasps Ana's hand and holds it in place under his as he limps onto the stage, saying, "Come."

If Ana thought that stepping onto an empty dance floor was scary, it's nothing compared to the terror that clenches her belly as Christian's iron grip leads her to the microphone and spotlight at the center of the stage. Once there, Christian releases her, trusting her to stay by him, and then he says to the vast room, "As you care enough to be here, you've possibly seen the staggering statistics on HIV and AIDS-related illnesses in children. But they're at least partly guesswork. Because most of the children affected by these maladies live under such horrific conditions that what for us would be catastrophic news, a positive HIV test, would barely impact their lives. They simply don't have access to the treatments, or even basic nutrition, which would ensure they won't soon succumb to the cancers and infections that will riddle their bodies as they die."

When Christian blindly reaches for Ana's hand, she clasps his in both of hers, trying to will some comfort into him, even as she struggles to find the strength to hear his words. And then he continues, "No one knows the whole story. What we do know is this; children all over the world are still contracting HIV." Christian gestures to the photos on the wall and explains, "And these smiling, happy kids fall into that category. They also represent the number of children who died of AIDS-related illnesses somewhere between your caviar and your coffee. Another thirty will die before you leave tonight, yet another thirty before you brush your teeth and go to bed. And the only way to prevent that from happening is to get out your checkbook and choose to make a fucking difference."

The last sentence is loudly echoed by several people throughout the room, leading Ana to wonder just how many times Christian has had to endure this. They leave the stage to the sound of applause, which seems wildly inappropriate to Ana. Brit is waiting offstage and says to Christian, "Need a drink?"

His standard expression of disquiet made difficult by the crutches, Christian awkwardly runs a hand through his hair and says, "At least one. But I'll take my medicine at home, thanks. See you next time."

His face a picture of concern, Brit says, "I'll walk you out."

Ana picks up her purse on the way past where they'd been sitting. Brit leads them through empty corridors to a rear door, where Taylor is waiting with their coats. Christian stops at the doorway and says to Ana, "Don't be too long."

Wondering how he knows that she wants to speak with Brit, Ana smiles her gratitude and vows, "Not long."

Christian then pats Brit's cheek and warns, "And, Leo, if sharing ever leads to plotting, I'll give her your punishment."

Eyes gleaming, Brit smiles and says, "You're getting paranoid, Grey."

As Christian enters the car, with Taylor's help, Ana says to Brit, "Are you okay?"

Lifting one hand, to marvel at the trembling, Brit says, "He's never done that before."

"Touched you?" When Brit only nods, Ana smiles and jokes, "Wow. You've got it even worse than I have." When he simply offers a sad smile, Ana asks, "Leo?"

Brit smiles and says, "After Leopold von Sacher-Masoch; supposedly the man for whom the term _masochist_ was coined. Christian's idea of a not very subtle joke. He only calls me that when he's pleased with me."

"Almost cruel, considering that you would, I presume, rather he expressed his pleasure with insults?"

Brit smiles, at first, and then frowns in concern as he says, "I hope you know that I don't expect anything from him? I'm content with how things are between us. It's just…he's always wound so tight that I feel it almost as a duty to torture him."

Ana laughs and says, "I know exactly what you mean…actually, I was hoping to beg your assistance with something."

Back in control of his emotions, Brit bows slightly and says, "If it's within my power."

"Could you…I'm worried that Christian isn't going to cope well with that ankle, and I've got work until Friday, so I was wondering…would you help me entertain him?"

Brit's eyes sparkle with mischievous intent and he says, "Sounds delightful. How exactly do you propose we do so?"

"Uh, I hadn't actually thought that far ahead. And I know that you two don't socialize outside these events, but…I think maybe he'd tolerate more now."

With a speculative glance towards the car, Brit says, "Okay, Ana. I'll see what I can do."

"Thank you." Once she again has his attention, Ana says, "Will I see you again?"

With a dazzling smile, Brit says, "You have to. I need to hear the rest of your story." And then he lowers his voice and continues, "With all the libidinous details." When Ana blushes and says nothing, Brit laughs and kisses her cheek, then declares, "Oh, you're a delight. Goodnight, Ana."

Forgiving his wickedness almost immediately, Ana embraces him and says, "And you're a lech. Night, Brit."

As Ana approaches the car, Taylor steps forward to hold the door open for her. Once inside, Ana sees that Christian's eyes are closed and his mouth is a thin line of pain. When she sits down and belts up, he smiles at her and says, "Have fun?"

Ana claims his nearest arm and says, "Yes, thank you." Nervous about adding to his distress, Ana hesitates and asks, "How often have you done that?"

"Uh, five times, I think. Brit would know for sure. Why?"

"You don't seem to enjoy it."

Christian laughs at that and says, "Not even a little bit. But the bastards cough up more money if I first abuse them."

"You give that same speech every time?"

"Other than the last sentence, no. It's a different cause every time. I tell Brit what I want, he makes it happen and, other than the speech, all I have to do is pay for it."

"But it's always children who benefit?"

Christian warily says, "Yes."

Having noticed his reticence, Ana drops it and says, "I like Brit."

Christian smiles and says, "I'm glad. Because I think maybe it's time we saw each other in clothes other than a tuxedo."

Relieved, Ana says, "Good, because I've asked him to contact you during the week."

Trying to contain a smile, Christian says, "Are you handling me, Miss Steele?"

Beaming at him, Ana says, "No, but I'd like to, Mr. Grey."

His smile vanishing, Christian says, "About that…no sex until Friday evening."

Bewildered and hurt, Ana protests, "I said that I'm sorry, Christian, and I'll work on…"

Christian interrupts with, "It's not punishment, baby." With a slight smile, he confesses, "Though it will feel like it." And then he continues, "I've been thinking about things, and you're right; you need to know if being with me is something you enjoy when we're not fucking every chance we get."

Ana has heard him and says, "But _you_ don't need that?"

"No. Round-the-clock fucking is what I've had in the past. So I already know that what we have is better…much better. But this is all new for you, and I finally agree that some time off is a good idea." And then he grins and says, "Even though some powerful part of me wants to literally chain you to a wall until you change your mind."

Ana leans against Christian's shoulder while she ponders his words and then says, "Can I still stay the night?"

"Yes. And we can talk during the week; even spend time together, if that's what you want."

"Is that what _you_ want?"

With a kind smile, Christian says, "You know what I want."

Ana nods and, after a second, asks, "What about touching?"

"So long as you don't touch my dick, I guess it's okay."

"All right, Christian, no sex until Friday."

Christian grins and says, "Did it seem like I was asking for your consent?"

Supremely confident, Ana says, "No. But you need it."

One eyebrow raised, Christian says, "Oh, you don't think that I could resist your charms?"

"No."

Christian laughs at that and then says, "Perhaps you're right."

"What about kissing?"

In answer, Christian's eyes shine with love as his lips find hers. When they finally come up for air, Christian groans and says, "Screw it. I've changed my mind."

Ana laughs and says, "No, you haven't. But thank you, for saying so."

Both now exhausted, they're quiet on the way back to Escala. Once there, Taylor fetches the crutches for Christian and sees them to the elevator. Sawyer is waiting inside the apartment and greets them before taking their coats. Ana holds Christian's hand as best she can. Noticing that they're heading to his bedroom, she says, "I thought you wanted a drink?"

Christian shakes his head and wearily says, "Just you."

They wordlessly perform their ablutions, smiling occasionally at the domesticity of the moment. Christian's concession to their pact is pajama pants, and he swaps to a skin-tight ankle brace. When he hands Ana a t-shirt, she's at first confused and then knowingly says, "Having trouble resisting my charms already, Mr. Grey?"

Fighting a smile, Christian orders, "Just wear the fucking shirt, Ana."

Laughter in her voice, Ana complies as she says, "Yes, Sir." They climb under the covers into each other's arms and then Ana asks, "Sleepy?"

Christian warily says, "No, but I was serious about the no sex thing, Ana."

With a slight smile, Ana says, "Oh, I don't doubt it. After all, no sex is not a laughing matter. No, I…I've thought of a game that might help ease your pain and won't cross that line." When Christian only waits, Ana explains, "The game we played this afternoon; it was…I'm not sure there's a word for how much fun that was, so I was thinking…how about you reveal something that you love about me and then I kiss one of your scars?"

When Christian tenses and says nothing, Ana holds her breath, worried that she's genuinely upset him. But then he suddenly smiles and says, "I love that you're always ready to play."

Without a word, Ana leaves his arms and kneels beside him, slowly drawing the covers from his body. Vigilant for signs of distress, she then gently touches her lips to the nearest scar on his chest. Christian inhales sharply and exhales brokenly, but almost immediately says, "I love your willingness to try new things."

Her concern for Christian keeping the exercise from being very sexy, Ana's usual, fiery response on contact with his skin is kept to a steady, warm glow as she learns that Christian loves her courage, wit, imagination, generosity, compassion and empathy. And she smiles on hearing that he thinks she's smarter than him. Christian is practically panting at the constant attention and Ana's warm glow roars to life as her body automatically answers his. A little breathless herself, she asks, "Enough?"

Christian's eyes close for a second as he struggles for control, and he says, "Perhaps." And then he reaches one hand behind Ana's neck, fingers threading through her hair, to draw her into a kiss. After several seconds of silent affirmation, he lifts Ana's head enough to end it and says, "At least until Friday, anyway."

Ana smiles and says, "It's fun saying what we love, isn't it?"

Christian also smiles and says, "Yes, though that wasn't my favorite part of the exercise."

Literally thrilled that he found the previously excruciating contact pleasurable, Ana says, "You liked it that much?"

Christian only glances towards his groin, where they can both see that pajama pants are not nearly sufficient to conceal his state of arousal, and he says, "I liked it _that_ much."

Ana giggles and says, "So I see." And then, her muscles protesting at her hunched posture, she reaches to remove Christian's hand from behind her head, kissing it in apology as she does so and saying, "Well, hold that pose until Friday and we'll…"

Christian pulls his hand from her grasp and says, "It's nothing, Ana."

With a chilling certainty of how he acquired the small, crescent-shaped wounds on his hand, Ana is fighting tears as she asks, "When?"

Suddenly a wall of stubborn resistance, Christian says, "Forget it. I'm fine."

"While I was dancing?" When Christian doesn't reply, Ana ponders aloud, "Not when I was with Brit…God, Christian, not when I was with Jon?"

His expression still militant, Christian says, "If that's the Slossman kid's first name, then yes."

Aghast, Ana says, "But…he's a child, Christian."

"He's nineteen, Ana; much closer to your age than I am. And, not him…well, not entirely." At her obvious confusion, Christian sighs and says, "You have no idea, do you? The second you stormed out onto the dance floor the place went quiet, and then I swear that I could hear every dick in the place hitting the underside of tables when you started dancing."

Trying not to smile at the image, with Christian so genuinely anxious, Ana says, "Christian, you can't possibly be jealous of everyone." When he only shrugs, she asks, "But, why? You trust that I'm not going to hit on anyone, right?"

"Absolutely."

"And I presume that you didn't actually expect me to be molested by a roomful of philanthropists who care about the welfare of children?"

Christian rolls his eyes at that and says, "Hardly."

"So…but you can't have thought Jon was going to try anything? He was a perfect gentleman."

With a grin, Christian says, "Ana, you've been reading all the wrong books if you think that there's any such thing. As we speak, that two hundred pounds of hormones is tugging at his dick for all he's worth, while remembering how you felt in his arms. But, no, I wasn't worried about the kid. Though I didn't enjoy seeing him touching you, and wanted very much to take his place."

Struggling to understand how Christian could have been upset enough to clench his fists until his fingernails cut into his flesh, Ana shakes her head and says, "Please, Christian, I'm trying to understand. But it doesn't make any sense." Suddenly remembering the new wallpaper on his phone, she asks, "Do you honestly see me as a possession?"

"Of course not, you're a person. It's more…I don't want anyone else enjoying you, even for a moment. I wasn't kidding about wanting to chain you to the wall and..." When he's quiet for a few seconds, Ana can almost hear him trying to work it out and eventually he says, "Fuck, I do sort of see you as my property, don't I? Fuck!"

Satisfied with his honesty, Ana stretches out beside him and rests one hand on his chest as she says, "It's all right, Caveman. I'm guessing this wasn't an issue with your subs. We'll work it out. The fact that you recognize it as inappropriate will do for now."

Christian puts one arm around her and the other on hers, where it rests over his heart, and says, "Yeah, I know…clearly not something I'm conscious of, anyway. But I've already practically paid for Flynn's BMW. This shit is going to pay off his mortgage."

At this reminder, Ana tenses and pleads, "I don't want to talk to him."

"You'll have to. He's compelled by law and a strict moral code to investigate whether or not you're in danger."

"You don't have to tell him."

"Yes, I do. This is not open for discussion, Ana. I'll tell Flynn what happened and he'll contact you, to get your side of the story and find out if you feel threatened by me. The rest is up to you." Since the matter is clearly closed, Ana says nothing. After a few seconds, Christian says, "Sulking again?"

"No."

Christian lifts her chin, so that he can see her face, and then says, "I really do like the shape of your mouth when you pout; very fuckable."

Already forgiving him, Ana says, "If I'm pouting, I'm not in the mood for fucking."

With an infuriatingly confident smile, Christian says, "Now, that's just not true, is it, Ana?"

Extracting her chin from his hand, Ana rests her head on his shoulder and mutters, "No comment."

They're quiet for a while and then Christian says, "When do you have to leave in the morning?"

"Uh, I need to be at my desk by nine. If Taylor can drop me off, I can stay for breakfast. Oh, but I'll need my suitcase from the car."

"Your case is in this closet, and your work clothes are pressed and hanging up beside the dresses I bought that you haven't yet worn."

Ana smiles and says, "Just this once, I'm glad of your meddling, thank you."

"You're welcome, Miss Steele. Now, if I can have that in writing, I think it will save us a lot of grief in the future."

Ana laughs and says, "More paperwork, Mr. Grey? I thought we were past that."

"We are…except for the marriage license, of course."

Ana lifts her head to look at Christian and then says, "Would you please smile when you say that, so it doesn't freak me out?"

Christian laughs and kisses her, then says, "Sleep now. You've got work in the morning."

Ana settles back against him as she says, "Yes, Sir."


	16. Chapter 16

On the Rocks: Chapter Sixteen

Ana wakes to someone spooning her and tenderly kissing her neck. Between one breath and the next, she knows that it can only be Christian. Glancing at his bedside clock, to see 3:37 glowing back at her, she grumbles, "God, it's the middle of the night. Don't you sleep?"

Christian smiles against her neck and says, "I did sleep."

Ana presses her butt against his clothed groin as she says, "I was speaking to that Eveready between your legs."

Christian laughs softly and says, "Just ignore it and it'll go away eventually."

Ana yawns and says, "I'm not so sure. Changed your mind about the no sex thing?"

One hand caressing her bare arm beneath the t-shirt sleeve, Christian says, "Constantly, but currently the answer is no. I woke you, because I've worked out what that song means to me."

Almost asleep already, Ana blearily says, "Oh, I know; Brit told me…well, something he said helped me work it out anyway."

Obviously skeptical, Christian says, "Oh? So, what does it mean?"

Stretching her limbs for a second, to force some semblance of vigor into her body, Ana then says, "That, for a long time now, you've wanted more from life. But you had no concept of what that even looked like, because your troubled past, ironclad contracts and need to hold the reins extra tight had trapped you in a prison of your own making…effectively _forcing_ you to live an unnatural state. But what we have; mutual love and respect, absolute trust, total honesty and complete surrender, that's what comes naturally to you, Christian. You just didn't know it until now." When Christian's caresses still and he says nothing, Ana asks, "How did I do?" When Christian only grunts, Ana says, "Oh, God, please tell me you're not pouting?" When he still remains silent, Ana groans and complains, "Do you have any idea how cruel it is to wake me with your dick hard at my back and a pout on your lips if we're not going to fuck?"

Christian sulkily counters, "And do you have any idea how cruel it is to steal my thunder like that, when I've spent several hours trying to solve this for you?"

Ana laughs and says, "Brit thinks that it scares you when I read your mind like that."

"He's right."

Turning in his arms, to gauge his mood, Ana sees only sincerity and asks, "You're scared of me?"

Christian shrugs and says, "More terrified, actually. You're the only person in the world who has the power to directly hurt me, Ana."

"But...you know that I'm not going to run again, right? I can't not have you in my life, Christian. It just doesn't work."

Christian shrugs again and says, "Not the only way you can hurt me, Ana. It hurt tonight when you got up to dance without even telling me what you were doing." At her sudden anxiety, he explains, "It's okay, baby. You've already apologized and I know you'll try not to do that again. We're just talking here."

Somewhat reassured, Ana can't stop herself from saying, "I really am sorry about that." And then, afraid of the answer, she nervously asks, "Did anything else hurt?"

Christian hesitates and then says, "Watching you have fun without me was a different, less intense kind of pain. And I know that's ridiculous, because I really did want you to have a good time, but it still hurt."

Ana considers and says, "Scale of one to ten, how bad?"

"Uh, about a three, I guess. Why?"

Becoming more certain of this new theory with every breath, Ana says, "We have a lot of shit to sort out before we can stop accidentally wounding each other. How about we not stress over anything under say…a five, until later?"

Christian finally smiles and says, "Sounds like a plan. In that case, I should tell you that ditching me without a word was around a seven. It made watching you dance much worse than it might have otherwise been."

Ana resists the urge to apologize yet again and swallows her guilt before saying, "Okay, so that's pretty bad. Thanks, for telling me. I won't do that again."

Recognizing her remorse, Christian wraps his arms around her in comfort and then says, "What about you?"

Ana considers for a moment and then says, "Every time I wake up and you're not here is about a four, but it only lasts for a second. Tonight, when it seemed like you still don't trust me, was a six. And thinking about saying goodbye after breakfast is maybe an eight."

Christian raises an eyebrow and says, "Only an eight?"

Reacting instantly to his effort to lighten the mood, Ana curbs her smile and says, "Actually, more like a seven. You're not all that, Grey."

Christian's eyes blaze with sudden desire at her challenge and then he takes a deep, shuddering breath and says, "Oh, this is going to be tough."

Ana snuggles against him and says, "Just let me know if you change your mind."

"I won't."

"I know."

Christian kisses Ana's forehead and says, "The no sex thing doesn't hurt?"

Ana rests a hand on his chest and says, "No…not more than a one, anyway. I understand why you're doing it, and I'll probably agree that it's a good idea when I'm not this close to your body." Finally sleepy again, Ana then asks, "Oh, what did you want to tell me?"

Christian laughs softly and says, "The song."

Ana yawns and says, "Oh, right; walls. Thank you, darling."

Christian laughs again and says, "Literally no trouble at all. Night, sweetheart."

Almost asleep, Ana flexes her hand a little, pressing her palm against his chest, and murmurs, "Told you; yours is the sweet heart."

* * *

When Ana next wakes, it's to see Christian, now fully dressed in casual clothes, lying on top of the covers beside her and she says, "Hey. How long have you been watching me?"

Christian shrugs and says, "Not long. It's time to get ready." He gestures to the end of the bed and explains, "Your clothes are here. I'll be in the dining room when you're ready. Be quick if you don't want a cold cup of tea."

As Christian sits up, reaching for the crutches, Ana says, "I think it's customary to kiss your girlfriend in greeting, or a hug if you're worried about morning breath."

Christian grins and says, "Nothing wrong with your morning breath; kind of spicy, and a little astringent. I like it. And, no, I'm not coming within arm's reach of you until you're dressed, or I won't be able to keep my promise about letting you go."

Trying to think back over the few mornings they've shared, Ana says, "Have you kissed me while I'm sleeping?"

Christian only smiles as he limps towards the door, saying, "Hurry up, of you'll be late for work."

Keen to spend every second possible with Christian, Ana decides to shower in the evening and quickly makes herself work-ready before _not_ running to the dining room. Expecting only granola and tea, Ana is shocked to see enough food for at least three hungry people and says to Christian, "How…you can't have done this on crutches?"

Christian laughs and says, "Hardly. No, Mrs. Jones is eager to please this morning. I think she missed you."

"I missed her, too. Oh, if I move in here, what…I'm used to doing everything myself."

"Oh, you're cruel, Anastasia." At her obvious confusion, Christian points out, "You're still saying _if_. As for whether or not you'll have a hand in domestic duties _when_ you move in; we'll work something out." And then he smiles and says, "You know, I've heard that a kiss is a customary greeting…"

He hasn't finished the request before Ana's lips are on his. If it started as a greeting, it soon becomes something else, as they both almost desperately draw comfort from each other. Finally ending it, Ana notices that she's in Christian's lap and doesn't remember doing so. She leans against his shoulder, bringing one hand to rest against his chest in what has become an automatic source of solace, and then she says, "I don't want to go."

His arms around her, Christian says, "Yes, you do. But thanks, for saying that. Now eat your breakfast, so I don't have to worry about you fainting at work."

Considering that it's probably a valid concern, Ana makes no comment about him ordering her to eat and sits down even as she reaches for a pancake, saying, "Yes, Sir."

They eat in silence for a while, Christian showing Ana the pot of hot water, so she can pour her tea. And then Christian says, "What did you decide about seeing each other before Friday?"

"Oh, God, I'm sorry, Christian. I've barely had time to think this weekend, but I'm all for it. Should we get organized about it, or did you want to play it by ear?" At his look, Ana smiles and says, "You've already arranged something, haven't you?"

Christian answers her smile and says, "There's a string quintet playing at the town hall tonight. I'm assured that only heartrendingly forlorn music will be played."

"Oh, you liked that?" When Christian is suddenly serious, Ana says, "What is it?"

"Is that really when you knew that you were in love with me?"

"Yes, though I only knew it in retrospect. At the time I didn't have enough experience to know what the feelings meant. I just knew that I never wanted to be anywhere other than with you."

"That was right after we first had sex."

Ana grins and says, "Well, I had to be sure you were any good before I committed my heart."

Christian shakes his head and says, "You're a wicked woman, Anastasia."

"Only since I met you, Mr. Grey."

When there's a polite knock at the door, Ana doesn't look for fear that she knows who it is. Sure enough, Taylor says, "Ten minutes."

At Christian's nod, Taylor's footsteps recede, and Ana knows that he'll be waiting by the car, holding the door open for her, in exactly ten minutes. Christian is staring at Ana, his expression unreadable, when she meekly says, "I need to brush my teeth."

Christian only nods and reaches for the crutches as he says, "Okay."

They walk together to his en suite, where Ana perfunctorily brushes her teeth, struggling to keep her emotions under control. The tears start falling as she places the toothbrush back in the holder and suddenly Christian's arms are around her and she brokenly says, "I'm sorry. I know this was my idea. But I'm not strong enough."

Christian cradles her to his chest and says, "Of course you are, baby. You're stronger than anyone I know. And we'll see each other tonight. Please don't cry, Ana."

Lifting her head enough to wipe the tears from her face, Ana says, "You're stronger than I am."

Christian offers a weak smile and says, "You arguing with me, Miss Steele?" When Ana merely shakes her head in reply, Christian suddenly drops his arms to his sides and leans back against the counter as he says, "Go. Taylor will be waiting."

On seeing that Christian has put his crutches aside, Ana realizes that he must have put weight on his injured ankle to embrace her and she says, "Please don't do that again."

"Only for weeping women, I swear."

Ana's brain catches up with Christian's last command and she says, "You're not walking me out?"

Christian sadly shakes his head and says, "I'm not strong enough for _that_. Thank you, baby. These two days…by far the best I've ever had. Oh, and did I ever thank you for coming up with playtime?"

Finally able to smile, Ana says, "Not in so many words, but you most definitely expressed your gratitude." And then she somehow finds the strength to say, "Until this evening, Mr. Grey."

His posture rigid as he maintains the distance between them, Christian nods slightly and says, "Until then, Miss Steele." Without another word, Ana turns to go and Christian's palm finds her ass with stinging accuracy. Ana whirls on him, one hand reaching to ease the pain and Christian grins as he says, "Something to remember me by."

Ana has to smile at that and, knowing what effect it has on him, lovingly says, "Thank you, Sir."

Christian gasps and his eyes glint as he growls, "You'd better go."

Ana only nods and leaves. Once in the corridor, she forces her pace to increase until she's moving at more than a snail's pace. Sawyer is waiting by the elevator with her jacket and helps her into it as he says, "See you soon, Miss Steele."

Ana is about to thank him and then something occurs to her and she asks, "Are you going to be stalking me?" At his obvious reticence, Ana reassures, "I'm not upset; just thought it might make things easier all round if I have your cellphone number."

Visibly relieved, Sawyer says, "I'll text you, thank you. And, yes, I've been instructed to keep you safe when you're not at your desk."

"And Taylor will keep Christian safe?"

Smiling kindly at her concern, Sawyer says, "Yes, ma'am. And we'll have more staff by tonight."

"More? Why?" At his look, Ana feels a little stupid as she says, "Oh, because your job has doubled."

"Yes, ma'am."

When Ana says nothing else, Sawyer pushes the button for the elevator and nods goodbye as she enters. The tiny, metal room seems incredibly empty without Christian's vivid presence. Ana hugs herself against the apparent cold and somehow manages to keep the tears at bay. As expected, Taylor is waiting at the open door of the car. Ana only nods in greeting, but then finds the will to utter "Thank you," as she gets in. She smiles on seeing the brown, paper bag on the seat, because she knows that it can only contain a prepared lunch. After clipping her seatbelt, she opens the bag to investigate and again loses the battle with her tears when she sees the sticky note containing only one word, "EAT!"

* * *

When she's sure that Ana is gone, and that Christian isn't returning to the dining room, Gail starts clearing, silently remonstrating her boss for wasting so much food. She's carrying a load of dishes to the kitchen when the first strands of music fill the air; the same, sad music he always plays and her heart goes out to him. Because, despite being one of the richest men in the country, he's never before had this much to lose. Gail almost drops the dishes at the sudden, clamorous discord that sounds as if something heavy has fallen onto the piano keys. She's still wondering whether she should check on Christian when music once again fills the apartment, but this time it's more upbeat. On recognizing the tune, Gail smiles and hums along as she works and, later, can't help but sing, "Change my life. Make it right. Be by lady."

* * *

Ana is once again composed when Taylor pulls up outside her office building and she lets him perform his perceived duty of holding the door for her as she gets out. She's about to thank him when Taylor says, "I also think that you're the bravest person I've ever met."

Pleased, but confused, Ana smiles a little and asks, "Because I refused to move in with him?"

Taylor shakes his head and says, "Because, when I pick you up from here on Friday evening and return you to Escala, I think it will be for good."

Leaning back a little, in defense against the flood of emotion that threatens to overwhelm her at his words, Ana says, "Taylor, please don't make me cry again."

Immediately contrite, Taylor ducks his head in apology and says, "Concert's at seven-thirty. So I'll meet you here at six?"

Judging that should give her just enough time to change and shower before seeing Christian, Ana says, "Thank you." On a sudden whim, she kisses Taylor's cheek and then says, "And, thank you."

Smiling, Taylor says, "You're welcome, Miss Steele."

Ana is relatively under control by the time she reaches the front door. She turns, knowing that Taylor will be watching until she's safely in the building, waves to him and then takes a deep breath before returning to her suddenly insufficient life.

* * *

Christian is at his desk, ostensibly working, but mainly fighting the urge to call Ana, when the message alert on his phone chimes. Ridiculously thrilled on seeing that it's from Ana, he opens it with a smile on his face and reads, "You're a melody from a symphony by Strauss –Heard this and thought of you."

Of course, he knows the song and texts, "You think Cole Porter was into role-play?"

Ana soon replies, "Let's look at the facts -we have A Weekend Affair, Anything Goes and the very kinky sounding After All, I'm Only a Schoolgirl."

Unable to stop smiling, Christian types, "You're searching song titles, aren't you? Don't you have a job?"

"No comment. And I'm on a break."

When Christian then calls her, Ana's voice is muffled as she says, "I texted you so that I wouldn't have to talk around a granola bar."

"Firstly, I'm glad you're eating, and you can just grunt while I do all the talking. Are you well?"

"Mm, hmm."

"How's work?"

"Meh."

"Do you miss me?"

"Uh, uh."

His face now almost aching from smiling, Christian says, "I'm sorry, the granola bar must have distorted that one, because it sounded like you grunted in the negative."

Finally free of oats, nuts and fruit, Ana asks, "Are you missing _me_?"

Though she can't see the gesture, Christian shakes his head and gleefully lies, "Not even a little bit."

After a moment, Ana says, "So, what are you doing while you're not missing me?"

"Working; made another million since I saw you last."

"Please tell me that you didn't hobble into Grey House?"

"No, baby. Even if my increasingly mutinous staff would have let me out the door, I doubt that I'd get more work done there at the moment."

Christian is sure that Ana's eyes are gleaming with mischief when she says, "Plus, you'd have to put up with all those doting women asking if you're okay every five seconds."

"Jealous, Miss Steele?"

"Of women whom you don't care about enough even to learn their names? Hardly."

"Linda. My secretary's name is Linda."

Ana laughs and says, "Did you know that on Saturday, of have you checked in the meantime?"

"No comment."

After a pause, Ana says, "You know…that first day, I thought that you must be the most incredible chauvinist, misogynist even, to have only attractive women in your employ. But you don't even hire them, do you?"

"No, Ana. I have far too much on my plate to worry about such things. An employment agency sends fresh victims as and when I require them. I do have very strict requirements about their appearance; makeup, clothing, hair styles etcetera, but that's made very clear before they go through the application process."

"You insist on attractive women?"

"You honestly think that?"

"Well, no. Not now that I know you. But the evidence for such a theory is throughout your building."

Christian smiles and says, "Okay, I'll grant you that. But the simple truth is that they're the most qualified of the personnel who apply." He can hear someone calling Ana's name and asks, "Time to go?"

"Yes, sorry. Thank you, for calling me. You're a Shakespeare's sonnet."

"And you're the smile on the Mona Lisa. I'll see you tonight."

"Oh, what's the dress code? Is formal wear required?" Ana's voice lowers almost to a whisper when she then asks, "And will you be tightening straps across my body?"

Christian chuckles and says, "No straps, just this once. And I think that smart casual will be adequate. It's just an informal gathering of obscenely rich music lovers. You can get ready here. Everything you need is now in our room."

After a moment, Ana ruefully confesses, "I promised Kate that I'd spend some time with her. So I have to go home, at least for a little while. And right now I have to get back to work."

Surprised at how much those words hurt, Christian says, "Okay. Bye, Ana."

"Bye, Christian."

The line stays open for a while, and Christian wonders if Ana feels the same pain. But then she's gone and he forces himself back to work. Surprisingly, it's easier now that he's spoken with Ana, and he shakes his head in wonder at how much power this skinny, young woman has over him.

* * *

With eating the bagged lunch at her desk, Ana finishes early enough to text Sawyer that she'll be leaving at five-thirty. Of course, he's in the foyer on time and escorts her out to the car where Taylor is waiting. Alone in the back seat, Ana calls Christian and he picks up almost immediately, saying, "I'm glad you finished early."

"Oh, I'd forgotten that they tell you everything I do."

"Not stalking, Ana. It's actually standard procedure."

Choosing to trust him, Ana says, "It's okay. Though that's the main reason I was calling you."

"And the other reason?"

Ana smiles at the concern in his voice and says, "You're Napoleon Brandy."

She hears Christian sigh and then he quotes, "You're sublime. Missing me now?"

"Not even a little bit. You?"

"Nope, still nothing."

They're quiet for a few seconds and then Ana says, "Actually, I'm surprised that you're not in this car."

"You said that you wanted time with Miss Kavanagh?"

Her heart warmed by his obvious effort to respect her wishes, Ana says, "Yes, I did." And then, suddenly feeling it almost as pain that he's not beside her, she whispers, "But I'd rather be with you."

"Good, because I'll be outside your apartment in less than two hours."

"Well, that's not very long at all."

"No, baby, not long. But it will seem like it."

Ana's apartment is coming into view and she says, "Time to go. I'll see you not quite soon enough, Mr. Grey."

"Not nearly soon enough, Miss Steele. Enjoy your gift."

"Gift?" But Christian has already hung up and Ana knows that he's in his apartment, smiling as he imagines her burning curiosity. So she laughs and lovingly says, "Bastard."

* * *

When Christian arrives outside Kate and Ana's door, minus the crutches and leaning heavily on a walking cane, he's admitted by Sawyer. Ana is nowhere in sight, so Christian nods at Kate and says, "Miss Kavanagh."

Kate grins and says, "Hello, Vanilla."

Sawyer hisses in surprise, but Christian's only reaction is one, raised eyebrow before he calmly says, "That's two, Miss Kavanagh. You get one more. I'd use it wisely."

Just then Ana icily says, "Kate, may I speak with you please."

The women are gone for only a minute and neither man hear any part of the conversation. When they return, Kate's face is red and she says to Christian, "I'm sorry, Grey. That was inappropriate. It won't happen again."

Containing his smile, Christian looks from Ana to Kate and then says, "Think nothing of it, Miss Kavanagh. Would you like to accompany us this evening?"

With a nervous glance at Ana, Kate says, "Oh. Uh, no thanks. I, uh, have some things I need to do."

Christian nods and says, "Another time, then."

Kate gratefully accepts is as a dismissal and flees the room, saying only, "Night."

When she's gone, Ana angrily asks, "Where are your crutches?"

Ignoring the question, Christian says, "Thank you, for that." With an inclination of his head, he adds, "Good evening, Miss Steele."

As if his words are a command, Ana's anger instantly dissipates and she says, "I really did miss you."

Holding out his free hand to her, Christian says, "I know. Let's go."

Ana doesn't take his hand, instead reaching her hands up behind his head and offering him her lips. With a groan, Christian wraps one arm around her and gratefully accepts the gift, his lips hard on hers and his tongue eager for more.

Her body molding to his as best it can, Ana feels the moment when Christian's affection becomes arousal. She ends the kiss and almost imperceptibly presses against him, saying, "Well, _someone_ missed me."

Christian smiles and, reaching up to thread his fingers through her hair, he kisses her again, less intense this time and then says, "You taste of Asia."

Self-consciously bringing a hand to her mouth, Ana says, "Oh, sorry; stir-fry. I was about to brush my teeth when I heard you arrive. I'll just be a minute."

As she turns to leave, Christian grabs her hand and says, "It wasn't a complaint. And I'm glad you've eaten. Let's go."

Sawyer precedes them out the door, to Taylor and the car. Once inside, Ana notes, with some amusement, that the middle seat now has a three-point seatbelt. When Christian is safely seated, she automatically claims his nearest arm and says, "I'm sorry about Kate."

Christian chuckles and says, "It's all right, baby. I've been called much worse, and she does have a point. What did you say to her?"

Ana adamantly declares, "Christian, you're _not_ vanilla."

With a shrug, Christian says, "More so than I've ever been before. Again, not a complaint; I enjoy it more than I would have thought possible. Why are you so upset about this?"

After a second, Ana says, "I don't want…you've already made so many concessions for me, and I don't want…please don't think that you have to become someone you're not. I know that it's been challenging…probably will be for a while yet. But _please_ don't change into someone you think I need, Christian, because you'll be wrong. I just need you."

Searching her face for a few seconds, Christian then says, "Okay, baby, if you'll do me the same courtesy. You're not the only one who's waited their entire life for what we have."

Ana blinks away the few tears and kisses Christian as best she can, and then leans against his shoulder as she says, "Yes, Sir."

On seeing Taylor's shining eyes in the rearview mirror, Christian's voice holds no anger as he says, "Eyes front, or you're fired."

Taylor shares a look with Sawyer before cheerfully saying, "Yes, Sir."

* * *

Where credit's due: "Judy Blue Eyes"-Crosby, Stills, Nash and Young, "You're the Top"-Cole Porter

To AriadneInNaxos, for the idea of having Ana and Christian attend a concert, and for helping me with the upcoming program for their evening.


	17. Chapter 17

Author's note: Despite admiring it's use in the books, I'm not going to use the same structure for emails between Ana and Christian; partly because my mind rebels against such structure, but mainly because I'm too lazy. Also, not going to bother with Hyde, or Leila (it's been done and done well) so don't look for them.

Program for the concert is as follows;

Dmitri Shostakovich: Symphony No. 5 – Largo

Samuel Barber: Adagio for Strings, op.11

Gustav Mahler: "Ich bin der Welt abhanden gekommen" (I am lost to the world)

Henry Purcell: "When I am laid in earth" (Dido's Lament)

Edward Greig: "Death of Ase"

Peter Lieberson: "Amor mío, si muero y tú no mueres" (My love, if I die and you don't)

* * *

On the Rocks: Chapter Seventeen

They're soon outside Town Hall Seattle. At first confused when a strange man opens her door, Ana relaxes after Christian explains, "Ryan; so Sawyer can go home."

Ana thanks Sawyer and greets Ryan, who simply nods and says, "Miss Steele."

Wondering if aloof respect is another of the lessons at bodyguard school, Ana holds Christian's hand as they enter the building. It's rather imposing Roman Revival façade is already making Ana feel underdressed in a skirt, blouse and jacket, despite Christian's assurance that the concert is an informal occasion, and she says, "I've never been inside before."

Detecting something amiss in her tone, Christian searches her face for clues and then says, "You're not nervous?" When she only shrugs, he reveals, "Then it's just as well Brit invited himself along."

"Brit's here?"

Smiling at her eagerness, Christian says, "Yes. He showed up unannounced at the apartment for lunch, with a ridiculous amount of food for two people, and insisted on keeping me company for the afternoon. I only got rid of him by saying that I had to get ready for this evening and then he revealed that he was attending."

Ana smiles and says, "But you think that he only bought a ticket after speaking with you?"

Christian laughs and says, "Oh, I'm sure of it. He's devastating in the courtroom, but a terrible liar in real life."

"He's a lawyer?"

"Assistant District Attorney. He puts bad people in prison."

Ana shakes her head and says, "I would never have guessed that in a million years."

As they enter the building, Christian laughs and says, "Yes. I imagine looking like a favorite uncle means that he's often underestimated. Certainly, something works, because he has an impressive record."

"You have a favorite uncle?"

With a bemused grin, Christian shakes his head and says, "No, babe, it's just an expression."

Feeling like an idiot for the second time today, Ana looks away, muttering, "Oh, of course."

But then she spots Brit in the small crowd and her mood improves just seeing his bright smile of recognition. He motions them closer, saying, "Come. I've saved our seats." He kisses Ana's cheek in greeting and grins as he gestures to Christian's walking cane, saying, "Nice stick."

Christian rolls his eyes and says, "Behave yourself or I'll have Ryan throw you out."

Brit eyes Ryan and then says, "If that's the name of your burly, taciturn shadow, be my guest." But then he moves on, handing Ana a program before leading them inside the concert hall, where most people already have a seat. The air is filled with murmured conversation and the distance sounds of stringed instruments being prepared.

Wondering at first why Brit gestures to the empty back row, Ana soon realizes that it will enable Christian room to stretch out his injured leg, and ensure a quick getaway. Brit is avidly watching her and beams his pleasure when Ana says, "Perfect, thank you."

As they sit down, Ana tries to ensure that Brit sits on the other side of Christian, but Brit steadfastly resists her efforts, saying, "Not even if you paid me. He's clearly in a foul mood."

It's obvious to Ana that Brit is merely giving the couple what little privacy he can in such a public setting and Ana gratefully says, "He's right; you're a terrible liar."

Brit looks surprised and then says, "Thank you."

When they're finally comfortable, Christian asks Ana, "Done playing musical chairs?"

Ana puts her arm through Christian's and says, "I thought he might like to sit next to you."

Apparently uncaring whether Brit can hear, Christian says, "I didn't want him to."

Upset at his apparent indifference to Brit's feelings, Ana keeps her voice low as she says, "Then perhaps I'm not the only one who can read your mind."

Christian's eyes widen a little in alarm, and then he shakes his head, as if to clear his thoughts, and says, "You're trying to provoke me, Miss Steele."

Ana smiles and says, "Perhaps a little. But that doesn't mean I'm wrong."

The house lights dim as the stage is lit, forestalling any reply Christian might have made. The musicians walk onstage, to polite applause. At some unseen gesture they begin to play. Ana is almost immediately lifted up and carried away by the soulful music. After the first tune she adjusts her arm, so that she can hold Christian's hand in defense against the powerful emotions and he murmurs, "Okay?"

When Ana only nods, Christian squeezes her hand in comfort and returns his attention to the musicians. For the third tune, a man joins the quintet and Ana checks the program to see that he's a baritone. The first, sorrowful strands of music tug at Ana's heart, and then the man starts singing, unfortunately in German. Suddenly, Christian's lips are by Ana's ear and, as the mournful bass voice rings out in the room, he softly translates, "I am lost to the world with which I used to waste so much time. It has heard nothing from me for so long that it may very well believe that I am dead. It is of no consequence to me whether it thinks me dead; I cannot deny it, for I really am dead to the world. I am dead to the world's tumult, and I rest in a quiet realm. I live alone in my heaven, in my love and in my song."

As the voice and then the music die away, to be replaced by appreciative applause, Ana notices that tears are silently streaming down her face, and that she's not alone. Brit wordlessly hands her a handkerchief. Ana sobs a laugh when she notices that today's accessory is covered in smiley faces. She offers him a weak smile in gratitude and repairs the damage. Ana dares a glance at Christian, to see only regretful concern on his face, so she says, "I'm fine. Thank you, for that. You know German?"

Satisfied that she's all right, Christian reclaims her hand and returns his gaze to the stage as he says, "Only that poem."

Pleased to have this tiny piece of the Grey puzzle, Ana takes a deep, trembling breath and tries to summon the strength to hear more. The next couple of tunes are indeed moving, but bearable. And then a female singer walks onstage. Ana feels Christian tense and he reaches for his cane as he says, "Let's go."

Immediately concerned, Ana searches his face for any sign that his injury is proving too much for him. But, though he looks uncomfortable, she sees nothing like yesterday's physical symptoms and wonders if the music is finally getting to him, despite how unlikely that seems. Either way, he's clearly in distress, so she turns to explain to Brit, only to see that he's already standing to follow them out.

In the now empty foyer, Christian's breathing is labored, as if he's been running. Without really knowing why, Ana makes no move to touch him, instead waiting while he brings himself under control and then she says only, "Christian?"

The music starts and the woman begins her song, apparently in Spanish. Christian stares at the closed doors as if they contain something dangerous, and then he says, "We're leaving."

Inexplicably, Brit blocks his path and says, "You can do this, Chris. Just listen."

At first mystified as to why Brit's actions should scare her, she realizes that she's scared _for_ him, not _of_ him. Still ignorant of what's going on, Ana positions herself near both of them, hoping to defuse the situation as she again asks, "Christian?"

Giving no sign that he's even heard her, Christian's face is a stark mask of anger as he says to Brit, "Move!"

Without taking his eyes off Christian, Brit says, "You're strong enough. Just get brave and hear the words."

Christian finally breaks eye contact and says to Ryan, "Move him."

Even as the bodyguard takes his first step, Brit's voice is suddenly anything but that of a favorite uncle when he says, "You do and it's assault, and not even Christian's money can keep you from doing time for an unprovoked attack on a DA."

Halted in his tracks, Ryan looks to Christian and says, "Sir?"

Somehow, Christian has brought himself back under control and he shakes his head once at Ryan before saying to Brit, "_Assistant_ DA, you self-aggrandizing prick."

Brit only smiles his triumph and says, "Just so."

Trembling, as adrenalin courses through her body looking for some purpose, Ana says, "Will someone please tell me what the fuck is going on?"

Finally looking at her, Christian cocks his head as he listens to the music and then translates, "But love, this love has not ended: just as it never had a birth, it has no death: it is like a long river, only changing lands, and changing lips."

Moved by the beauty of the words, Ana can only shake her head in confusion and Brit explains, "The poem is about facing the death of a loved one. Only today, Christian chided me when I confessed that I've been moved to tears by this song. But, if he could cry, he would have tonight."

Finally beginning to understand, Ana asks Christian, "You're scared of me dying?"

Instant fear in his eyes at her words, Christian quells it and says only, "Apparently."

Ana can only shake her head in incredulity for a few seconds and then she says, "That's it? All this fuss because it suddenly occurred to you that I might die first?" When Christian only shrugs in apology, Ana punches him in the arm and says, "You scared the _shit_ out of me, Grey. Don't ever do that again."

With the hint of a smile finally on his lips, Christian says, "If I didn't know this was going to happen, how can I promise never to do it again?"

Brit says, "Ah, he has you there, Ana. Trust me, I'm a lawyer." And then he suggests, "Well, I don't know about the rest of you, but I've had enough of music-to-slit-your-wrists-by and could definitely do with a drink. There's a bar across the street."

Ana crosses her arms and says to Christian, "Something you want to say to Brit?"

His shining eyes confirming that he knows exactly what she's talking about, Christian says "Nope, " and limps towards the exit.

All four of them head towards Primo cocktail bar. Still fuming, Ana doesn't hold Christian's hand. They're waiting to cross the street when she sees Christian punch his friend in the arm. Brit turns to him in surprise, then nods his acknowledgment of the gesture and they continue on their way. Ana shakes her head, wondering if she'll ever understand either of them.

After a calming drink and friendly conversation that makes no mention of Christian's meltdown, Brit says goodbye. When he promises to harass Christian again tomorrow, he's told, "No. I've got therapy on the ankle. Go bully Ana, instead."

When Brit looks to Ana, she says only, "Please."

Brit exchanges details with Ana and kisses her cheek, saying, "I trust that you'll bully him in my absence?"

Not daring to look at Christian's reaction to those words, Ana smiles and says, "I'll do my best."

When he's gone, Christian asks Ana, "Another drink?"

Seeing nothing other than her Christian in his eyes, Ana shakes her head and deliberately echoes his words when she says, "Just you."

Christian's eyes flare with desire for a second and then he nods to Ryan before saying to Ana, "Then let's go."

Of course, the car is waiting outside the door by the time they get there. Once they're belted, Christian looks at Ana with one eyebrow raised in question and she says, "Escala please, Taylor." When Taylor immediately nods and heads off, Ana says to Christian, "You've told him to obey me."

"Yes."

"In everything?"

Christian smirks and says, "Well, I doubt that you'll get him to stand on one leg and cluck like a chicken, but anything that doesn't put you at risk or contravene a direct order of mine, yes."

"The others, too?"

"Anyone who draws a salary from me."

"Why?"

Clearly amused at her confusion, Christian says, "Why not?" When Ana silently claims his arm and leans against his shoulder, he asks, "Would you rather I rescind the order?"

After a moment, Ana says, "No. It's just…I've never had minions before."

Struggling to contain his humor, Christian says, "You don't actually have to command them if it makes you uncomfortable. But I'm very grateful that you're cooperating with the team and wanted to make life easier for you, in return."

"Oh. Thank you." After another pause Ana asks, "What are your standing orders?"

Christian smiles and kisses her forehead, saying, "You're very smart." But then he's suddenly serious when he continues, "Nothing that they perceive as a direct threat, and…I'm to know where you are at all times."

Christian is keenly watching her reaction to his words. Ana ponders these restrictions and says, "That's it? Nothing about not letting me on a plane without you, or banning me from meeting with other men?"

Christian's eyes widen in surprise or fear, but he quickly recovers and says, "You know me very well, so I'd hope that we'd have discussed it before you do either of those things."

Pleased with his reaction, Ana grins and says, "Of course, we will. But I had you going for a second there, didn't I?"

Christian gaze darkens and then he says, "Oh, this is going to be a very long week."

Ana chuckles and relaxes against him as she says, "Do you really have therapy tomorrow?"

Christian tenses for a second and then says, "Yes; Diana in the afternoon and Flynn in the morning."

"Oh."

When Ana says nothing else, Christian explains, "He'll probably want to talk to you straight after our session."

After another pause, Ana then nods and says, "I'm due for a break around eleven."

Christian tilts her face to his and kisses her, then says, "Thank you."

They're soon at Escala. Ryan precedes them into the building. Alone in the elevator, Ana and Christian stand, not quite touching, until the chime announces their arrival at his apartment. Christian releases the breath that he'd obviously been holding and then takes Ana's hand as they exist, shaking his head and declaring, "Yes, a _very_ long week."

Christian leads Ana past Ryan and into the living room and then releases her before crossing to the bar as he brusquely asks, "Drink?"

Confused, Ana stammers, "Uh…no, thank you. Are you mad at me?"

"No, baby. But you'll want to discuss my…incident at the concert and I need another drink for that."

"Are you going to discuss it with Flynn?"

"Of course."

"Then we're good."

Turning to look at her, decanter in hand, Christian says, "You don't want to talk about it?"

Ana shrugs and says, "Only if you do. Seemed pretty straight-forward to me."

Clearly suspicious of her calm manner, Christian says, "Come here."

Surprised, but unconcerned, Ana crosses the room to stand before him and says, "Sir?"

Christian replaces the decanter, a little too carefully, and leans against the counter. And then, with what Ana recognizes as a feigned air of indifference, he says, "What's your take on my panic attack?"

Ana takes a moment to collect her thoughts and then says, "Well, firstly, that was not a full-blown panic attack. I'm sure Flynn will confirm that for me. But something about that song made you suddenly accept the fact of my possible demise and…I think it's fair to say that you don't like that possibility?" At Christian's shrug, Ana suddenly realizes that she always sees exactly that gesture when he's ashamed of himself, so she carefully proceeds with, "It's not a failing, Christian. We're supposed to feel that way about the people we love." And then she glimpses the whole picture and continues, "You've never felt afraid of anyone's death until tonight."

Now brave enough to let his discomfort show on his face, Christian grimaces and says, "No."

Filled with love for him, Ana solemnly pronounces, "In that case, I'd say you handled it pretty well." And then she smiles and says, "And it's a good thing Brit was there, because I had no idea what was going on."

His face a picture of relief, Christian offers Ana an embrace that she readily accepts. When his fingertips touch her chin, Ana lifts her face for the kiss that they both crave. Eventually, Christian ends it and says, "Thank you."

Incredibly relieved that he seems okay, Ana says, "You're welcome." And then something occurs to her and she asks, "Not even your own death?"

Christians arms around Ana tense and, after a moment, he says, "I'm sure that I was, at some point. But then it became something I desired…craved, even. And the fear went away."

Experiencing her own signs of panic at his words, Ana suddenly feels trapped by the arms around her. At Ana's movement, Christian immediately releases her. She stands before him, trembling slightly, and hugs herself against the sudden pain as she says, "Did you ever attempt suicide?"

Gripping the counter for physical and emotional support, Christian explains, "No…not directly. But my family and Flynn helped me see that my youthful risk-taking was, at least in part, an effort to kill myself."

"Do I want to know what sort of risks you took when you were younger?"

With a rueful smile, Christian says, "Probably not." When Ana says nothing, and simply stands before him, arms crossed in defense across her body, Christian gently asks, "Time to go?"

Ana shakes her head, blinking away tears and says, "No, I'm fine. I just…you're the healthiest person I know and completely obsessed with safety. So the prospect of you dying young is a remote one. But…it never even occurred to me that I need to fear…you don't feel like that anymore, right?"

Visibly relaxing, Christian promises, "No, Ana, not for a long time. The safety thing became a habit…a defense against reckless behavior, and the rituals appeal to my need for control. But I haven't wanted to die for a very long time." Forcing a smile, he continues, "Certainly not since you've given me reason to live."

With a weak smile, Ana returns to his embrace as she says, "Thank you." They stand together for a while, Christian gently resting his chin on the top of Ana's head, and then she asks, "Still need that drink?"

Christian smiles and quotes, "Just you."

Ana picks up the cane, where it has fallen unheeded on the floor and says, "Only if you sit down and rest."

With Christian comfortably seated on the sofa, and Ana across his lap, he says, "You free tomorrow evening?"

"Possibly. What do you have in mind, Mr. Grey?"

"I thought that we might go on a date, like regular people."

Ana chuckles and says, "I'm not sure you could ever be regular people. But I'd love to go on a date with you."

Christian holds her a little tighter for a second and then says, "Pick you up at seven?"

Ana considers and says, "Actually, can we leave from here? The only nice clothes I have are in your closet."

"Our closet."

With her face hidden from him, Ana risks rolling her eyes and says, "Okay; _our_ closet."

Christian tenses and says, "Did you just roll your eyes at me?"

Confident that Christian can't risk punishing her when he's resolved not to have sex until Friday, Ana smiles and says, "And what would you do if I had, Mr. Grey?"

Ana only has time to yelp in surprise before she's face down across Christian's lap. He quickly secures her arms behind her back with one hand as he asks, "_Did_ you roll your eyes at me, Miss Steele?"

Every nerve-ending in Ana's body stands to attention at the promise contained in his voice and she gasps, "Yes, Sir."

Prepared for the sting of Christian's palm, it actually takes almost a second to realize that he's tickling her. Ana squirms as her muscles twitch in response and she can't help laughing as she says, "Okay! Okay, I'm sorry."

Apparently just as expert in this game as anything else he does, Christian gently but mercilessly attacks her ribs as he says, "Not nearly sorry enough, Miss Steele."

Ana struggles frantically against her tormentor, but there's no escape. Soon helpless with laughter, she breathlessly begs, "Please, Christian, I'm going to pee. Please stop."

After one, resounding slap on her butt, Christian releases Ana as he says, "All right, but only because I don't want urine stains on my sofa."

Filled with excited delight, Ana gets up on her knees beside Christian and joyfully says, "Thank you, Sir."

Suddenly, the atmosphere changes as Christian's eyes turn almost black with lust. Her breath snatched from her body at the power of it, Ana can only stare at him, finally remembering to breathe as her body starts trembling with sympathetic passion. Despite her resolve to respect his wishes, Ana simply cannot ignore his obvious need and begs, "Christian, please."

As if Ana is pleading the opposite, Christian brings his emotions under control with an unsteady breath and says, "I think maybe it's time for you to go."

Almost ready to scream in frustration, Ana tries to still her quivering muscles as she says, "If that's what you want."

With a sad smile, Christian reminds her, "You _know_ what I want."

Confused, Ana says, "Are you saying that, if I agree to move in with you, we can fuck?"

Christian's eyes widen in surprise and he says, "I wasn't. But, yes."

Ana shakes her head in dismay and says, "That's cruel, Christian. I've never thought of you as cruel until right now."

Once again calm, Christian shrugs and says, "Then right now you're exactly the same as everyone else."

"I wasn't serious. You're not cruel, Christian. I suspect that you're the most caring person I know…with the possible exception of Grace."

Christian smiles fondly at that and says, "She certainly is exceptional."

Satisfied that the "danger" has passed, Ana says, "Permission to approach?"

Deadpan, Christian says, "Granted."

Ana returns to Christian's lap and leans her head against his shoulder as she says, "Still want me to go?"

"Never. But you'll have to soon, so you can get some sleep."

"Thank you for this evening, Christian. Heart-pounding drama aside, it was fun. And I'm actually quite proud of us for not being in the middle of coitus right now."

Ana feels Christian's smile against her forehead and then he says, "Truly a feat worthy of a medal."

Ana giggles and says, "A no-fucking medal? And who would present it?"

"Hmm, good point. For a start, no one would ever believe that I could resist you."

"Just barely, and only because I'm cooperating."

"All true. Thank you, for that."

They're quiet for a while, silently enjoying each other's company, and then Ana feels the torpor spreading through her limbs. Something alerts Christian and he tenderly says, "Hey, no going to sleep, unless you now live here."

With a yawn, Ana sits up and says, "Okay, time to go. Thanks again, Christian. But how about we try for a nice, boring evening tomorrow?"

Christian laughs and says, "I'll do my best. Thanks, baby, I had a good time." And then he frowns slightly and says, "You haven't touched my chest today."

Ana smiles and says, "Is that a request, Mr. Grey?"

Christian answers her smile and says, "You know, I think it might be."

Ana anchors her gaze on Christian's eyes as she gently rests her palm on his clothed chest and says, "I love you, Mr. Grey."

With a groan, Christian closes the gap between their lips, plundering her mouth with his tongue until Ana is dizzy with desire. When Ana feels the hand on her thigh, she silently wills Christian's control to fail him, just this once. But then, with another groan, Christian removes his hand and lifts his head as he says, "Goodnight, Anastasia."

Knowing that Christian won't want to walk her out, Ana climbs off his lap on slightly unsteady legs and says "Sweet dreams, Christian," before heading to the elevator.

* * *

Where credit's due: Apart from the composers, "Ich bin der Welt abhanden gekommen" is by Friedrich Rückert, and "Amor mío, si muero y tú no mueres" is by Pablo Neruda.

Again, thanks to AriadneInNaxos, for the concert idea. I enjoyed it.


	18. Chapter 18

On the Rocks: Chapter Eighteen

Ana is quiet as Taylor drives towards what is feeling less and less like her home, and then she says, "Would you please pull over for a minute?"

With a concerned glance in the rear vision mirror, Taylor complies as he says, "Yes, ma'am." When he's safely off the road, he asks, "Everything okay, miss?"

With a deep breath, summoning her courage, Ana says, "Yes, I'm fine. It's just…could you stop being Taylor for a second? I need to ask you something."

Apparently unsatisfied with continuing the conversation via reflection, Taylor turns in his seat to look at her and asks, "Miss Steele?"

Ana balks for a moment and then says, "Uh, about what you said…that I might be moving in soon. How would you and Mrs.…how would you and Gail feel about that?"

Shaking his head in confusion, Taylor says, "We only live at Escala because of Mr. Grey's generosity, and so that he always has trusted staff available to him. We don't actually have any say…"

Ana holds up a hand to stop him and says, "Jason, please. Can you just give me an honest answer?"

His head cocked to one side, Taylor echoes, "An honest answer?" At Ana's anxious nod, he smiles and says, "Honestly, Ana, I think it would be the best thing that's happened to us since we started working for Christian."

Eyes wide with surprised delight, Ana can only say, "Truly?"

Taylor smile broadens and then he says, "Well, I wouldn't normally dare speak for Gail. But we've discussed it and agree that you moving in would finally make the place a home." And then he sobers and continues, "You know that I admire Christian, both for all that he's done and all that he's trying to achieve. But he's been…like a ghost of a man until he met you, as if he was haunting the apartment, rather than living there."

Her chest aching with the effort of containing the flood of emotions his words elicit, Ana can only manage, "Thank you."

Taylor smiles again and says, "You're welcome, Miss Steele." When she makes no other comment, he says, "That's it?"

"Yes, thank you. Unless there's any way I can persuade you to call me Ana all the time?"

Suddenly formal, Taylor says, "You need only order it, Miss Steele."

Clearly, it's not an order that would be welcomed, so Ana affects an upper-class accent to command, "That will be all, Taylor."

Beaming his gratitude, Taylor turns his back to her as he says, "Yes, Miss Steele." After he rejoins the traffic, Taylor says, "Uh, what would you like me to tell Mr. Grey when he asks why we stopped here?"

"Why would you need to tell him that we…he has some sort of monitoring on this car, doesn't he?"

"Yes, ma'am; all the cars. It's a security measure, in case…it's ever needed."

Ana hasn't missed the pause and says, "In case he's ever kidnapped?"

"Yes, ma'am."

Her heart filled with cold dread, Ana asks, "Is that likely?"

"Perhaps that's something you should discuss with Mr. Grey, ma'am."

The man is clearly uncomfortable discussing it, so Ana says, "All right. If he asks, tell him the truth, and I'll talk to him as well."

"Thank you, Miss Steele."

After Taylor has seen Ana safely inside her apartment, she texts Christian, "NOT urgent. But are you still awake?"

Only seconds later, Christian calls her back, saying, "What's wrong?"

"Nothing. I said it wasn't urgent. How do you monitor the cars?"

There's a full two second pause and then Christian icily demands, "What did Taylor tell you?"

"Relax, Grey, he didn't tell me a thing. I worked it out and Taylor made it very clear that he'd prefer I speak with you about my concerns."

"Then I guess he still has a job." Ana hears Christian sigh and then he says, "Real-time monitoring of location, running time and more is sent to my phone and email account, it's also copied to Welch."

"And just how likely is it that someone would try to kidnap you?"

After an even longer pause, Christian says, "I'm prepared to share this with you, Ana. But it's not exactly a bedtime story. Are you sure that you want to know this stuff?"

Suddenly terrified, Ana is glad that Christian can't see her head automatically express denial as she says, "Yes."

"Okay, baby." After another sigh, Christian says, "I'm not so much a potential kidnap victim as a target for assassination."

Ana has to swallow twice before she can make her voice work, and then it's to rasp, "Why?"

"Because I'm a public figure, because I'm rich and most people aren't, and because I often have to lay off staff when I first take over a company."

"But…you'd make sure that the damage is kept to an absolute minimum, right?"

"Of course, and I do what I can to ensure they're supported in their quest for a new job. Unfortunately, that part of the process never seems to make it into the news."

Ana considers his words for a while as she tries to calm her heart, and then she says, "What about me?"

"Are you at risk, now that you're with me?"

"Uh, huh."

This time Christian's breath trembles as he sighs and then he says, "Unfortunately, yes."

Shocked at how calm her voice sounds, Ana asks, "Assassination or kidnapping?"

Christian's voice is strained as he reveals, "Most likely kidnapping. Welch thinks that the risk is high now that you've been seen in public with me. I'm sorry, baby."

"Hardly your fault, Christian."

"It was my choice to…"

Ana interrupts with, "The only alternative is to actually keep me chained to a wall in your dungeon. And, as appealing as that sounds, it's not really an option."

Sounding more relaxed, Christian says, "Yes, well, I'll keep it on the backburner, just in case." When Ana says nothing, he asks, "Is that it?"

"Oh, sorry, no. I called to let you know that the short time Taylor stopped was because I wanted to talk to him and didn't want to do it while he was driving."

There's a distinct pause and then Christian says, "Talk to him?"

Smiling Ana says, "It was a private conversation, Christian." When he doesn't reply, Ana can't help a giggle and then she says, "That I don't mind sharing with you."

Ana can imagine Christian's disapproving glare as he growls, "Just tell me, Ana."

Laughing again, Ana says, "I wanted to know how he and Mrs. Jones feel about the prospect of me maybe one day moving in with all of you."

"They're not roommates, Ana. They're employees. I don't give a fuck whether they want you here or not."

"Well, I do."

Sounding weary, Christian says, "Clearly. Okay, time for bed."

"Don't you want to know his answer?"

"No need. They love you. Everybody loves you. Go to bed."

"Yes, Sir. Good luck tomorrow."

Christian snorts a laugh and says, "Thanks. I'll need it. Night, Ana."

"Night, Christian."

* * *

Ana is engrossed in work when her cellphone rings and she absentmindedly answers it. A man replies, "Miss Steele? It's John Flynn. Is now a good time to talk?"

Her heart pounding, Ana says, "Uh, yes, just give me a moment." After finding a quiet spot, Ana says, "Go ahead."

"Thank you, for speaking with me. You know why I'm calling?"

"Yes."

"I'll keep this brief. Do you feel unsafe when alone with Christian Grey?"

"What? No, of course not. I feel safer with Christian than with anyone."

"You're sure? If you feel at all afraid of him I can help you; there are women's shelters and…"

Ana interrupts with, "I'm not afraid of him. Christian's first priority is my safety, comfort and wellbeing, often at the expense of his own."

"Okay, that's done with. Would you like to talk about the incident that has led to this phone call?"

"Not even a little bit. It's done and wasn't nearly as bad as Christian thinks."

"What makes you say that?"

"I defied him, rejected him and threatened him, yet _still_ he respected my wishes. And he'll never try it again."

"I agree."

"But…if you don't think I'm in danger from him, why the phone call?"

"In this case it doesn't matter what I think, only how you feel about it. Though, on a personal note, I think you handled it very well."

"Uh, thank you. Is that all?"

"Not quite. I should tell you that I've advised against it, but Christian has given me written permission to answer any and all questions about his therapy sessions, up to and including giving you full access to my private records."

Giddy with this show of trust, Ana says, "What…why would he do that? I don't need records. If I want to know something, I'll ask him."

"I'm glad to hear it. However, if you change your mind, this is my private number and you can call me any time."

Ana smiles at that and says, "You foresee a time when I'll need to call you in the middle of the night with a burning question about Christian's mental health?"

Flynn laughs and says, "Well, anything is possible with Christian."

"Yes, it is." After a moment's hesitation, Ana says, "Actually, I do have one question…am I good for him? I mean, I think that I am, but if I'm…damaging him in some way, I couldn't bear it."

His voice kind, Flynn says, "Then rest assured; despite some apparent setbacks, you could very well be the best thing that's ever happened to Christian."

Sighing her relief, Ana says, "Thank you. He's my best thing, too."

"Good; you deserve it. Now, it doesn't have to be me, but I would like to offer help of another kind…if you ever need someone to confide in, I can assure discreet, professional counseling."

"Did Christian suggest this?"

"Uh, no. He said that you'd refuse, so there was no point asking."

Ana smiles at that and says, "He's right. Christian is my cause and my cure. I don't need anyone else. But I appreciate the offer."

"As you wish. Again, if you change your mind, just call me. Well, I'll let you get back to work. Thanks, again, for speaking with me Miss Steele."

"Ana. And, thank you, for helping him."

"John. Likewise, Ana; thank you."

After hanging up, Ana calls Christian. He answers right away, saying, "Well?"

Smiling at his concern, Ana says, "Hello to you, too."

"Sorry, babe. But…you okay?"

"I'm fine. It actually wasn't too bad. He agrees that you're completely insane and that I should run like hell in the opposite direction."

Ana can picture his boyish grin as he says, "Miss Steele, I've been telling you that since I met you."

Ana laughs and says, "Very true, Mr. Grey." After a moment, she asks, "Why did you give me access to your files? Is there something specific from your past that you want me to know?"

"Not that I haven't already mentioned. You have the worst of me, Ana."

"I prefer to think that I have the best of you, but I'm grateful for every, single shade. And I'm not looking into your therapy sessions unless you specifically want me to."

"Okay, thanks, and thanks for calling me. You were so nervous about talking to Flynn, that I was worried how it would go."

You're welcome…and you're welcome. He's actually pretty easy to talk to, but then I guess you know that already."

"Yeah." They're quiet for a few seconds and then Christian says, "I miss you."

Ana sighs at the need in his voice and says, "Me, too. Waking up without you was about a five today, and you weren't there to take the pain away."

"Well, you know what to do about that, right?"

"That reminds me; a fridge magnet for a moving company does not count as a gift, Mr. Grey."

Christian chuckles and says, "I thought perhaps you hadn't worked out that it was from me."

"Gray's Removals? How could I not? I spent ages looking for the real gift."

"Well, you've complained many times about my extravagance, so I'm cutting back." When Ana says nothing, Christian explains, "The real gift is that all you need do is call and everything will be taken care of; packing, moving and storage. It's all paid for."

"No time limit?"

"No, babe, whenever you're ready."

"Oh, that's actually pretty sweet, thank you. Now I feel kind of bad that it has the word _bastard_ scrawled on it."

Christian laughs and says, "Oh, you're wonderful. Now get back to work or I'll have you fired."

"Yes, Sir. I'll see you tonight."

"Tonight."

* * *

Ana is once again lost in her duties when Sawyer calls, saying, "Miss Steele? Mr. Hertz is here."

At first unable to place the name, Ana then says, "Brit. Of course. I'll be right there."

On arriving at the lobby, Ana sees Brit carrying a picnic basket and warmly greets him before saying, "You like picnics, don't you?"

Brit shrugs and says, "I don't like waiting for food. Where shall we eat?"

Looking outside, Ana says, "Well, considering it's raining, and I only have half an hour for lunch, it had better be in this building. Follow me Mr. Hertz."

Brit bows and says, "Lead the way, Miss Steele."

As Ana leads him to her favorite lunch spot, she says, "Hertz, like the car company?"

Brit smiles and says, "Hertz, like the German Jews."

"You're Jewish?"

Smiling, Brit explains, "Technically, yes, though I'm not religious."

After a moment, Ana says, "What does it mean?"

"Heart."

With a smile, Ana says, "It suits you."

"Thank you."

They get off the elevator at the top floor and Ana leads Brit into the stair well. He smiles at the clear warnings on the door and comments, "I take it the door is not actually alarmed?"

Ana grins and says, "Considering that both the janitor and I often come here for some peace and quiet, I doubt it's even surprised."

Ana is having fun investigating the sumptuous banquet when Brit says, "How's Chris today?"

"Why do you call him that?"

"Uh, I guess it started as one of my attempts to anger him. After a while, we just got used to it. Oh, but I don't call him that in public. Not even I want to see that much anger in him."

Ana nods as she considers his words and then says, "He's fine. Though his ankle is probably being worked on as we speak."

Brit assesses her expression and says, "You don't approve?"

"Oh, I approve. I just don't like imagining him in pain."

Brit forces a smile and says, "Then we need to distract you. How about you ask me some questions about his shady past? Well, the past five years of it, anyway."

His words trigger a memory and Ana says, "Christian said that he's done that little speech about making a difference five times?" At Brit's nod, she asks, "How did you persuade him to do it even once? He hates it."

Brit's face registers his surprise and then he says, "You and I are probably the only people who know that he can't stand it." With a loud sigh, Brit orders, "Eat, and I'll tell you." After pouring himself a glass of wine and waiting until Ana has food in her hand, Brit explains, "The first time was right after our fateful meeting. Christian was feeling guilty enough about ruining my date that I persuaded him to attend a benefit I was hosting. Now, in those days, the evenings didn't really benefit anyone. I was…am, not very good at speaking when my emotions get in the way. And I can't talk about children suffering without getting emotional. Anyway, the usual exodus towards the door was occurring when Christian suddenly took over the microphone and...well, you've seen what happens. The evening was so successful that I begged him to attend the next, and the next. He's never yet refused, though he doesn't bother to attend the dinner."

Surprised, Ana says, "Oh. So, he usually just shows up and abuses the guests?"

Brit smiles and says, "Pretty much."

They eat in silence for a while and then Ana asks, "What was the first charity?"

Brit hesitates for a moment and there's something like pain in his eyes when he says, "Children of drug addicts." Ana is unable to conceal her dismay and Brit continues, "Yes. He's…we've never discussed it. But I was onstage with him, and I saw the trembling."

"Oh, God. Christian."

They're again quiet for a while, and then Brit asks, "Would you like to know what he said?"

At first confused, Ana then smiles and says, "You've memorized his first speech."

Coloring a little, Brit confesses, "Yes."

Resisting the urge to tease him, Ana says only, "I'd love to."

Satisfied that she's in earnest, Brit nods and says, "Somewhere in this country, a little boy is hungry, because his mother simply forgot to feed him…again. Somewhere in this very city, a little boy is weeping, terrified and alone, because no one is there to comfort him. And, somewhere between this elegant building and your comfortable home, a battered and broken little boy is screaming, because Mommy is too fucked up to protect him." Brit hands Ana his handkerchief for her tears and concludes, "You know the rest."

When she's finally recovered the power of speech, Ana says, "Those poor bastards."

Brit laughs and says, "Yeah. It's a wonder there wasn't a tornado caused by the sudden fluttering of checkbooks opening. Are you okay?"

Ana sniffs a little and says, "Other than I have to go back to work looking like this, I'm fine."

Brit grimaces and says, "Sorry. Well, I have a terrible reputation in this town, so you can blame me."

"Why do you do that?" At his obvious confusion, Ana says, "Why do you pretend to be an ass?"

"Maybe I am an ass."

Ana rolls her eyes and says, "I'm serious."

Brit shrugs and says, "I don't know. Presumably something to do with the fact that I need to hide so much from people….maybe it became a habit."

"How do you manage to hide that…I mean, if you don't mind talking about it. But you…you're a submissive, right?" At Brit's cautious nod, Ana continues, "But…your job; wouldn't that make it difficult?"

"Extremely. But the men willing to fulfill my needs also want it kept secret. And I've engineered things so that they actually face the prospect of jail time if they disclose anything of my preferences."

Wary of his sudden, formal tone, Ana says, "I don't need to know this. I just…I'm curious, I guess. This is all still knew to me."

Shaking his head, Brit says, "Ignore my reticence. I trust you. But, other than the initial, official overtures, I'm not used to discussing it even with the young men in question."

Wondering why it hadn't occurred to her until just now, Ana says, "You draft Christian's contracts."

Shocked, Brit actually physically withdraws a little and says, "I'd assumed, given the nature of your relationship…you're under contract?"

Wondering why he seems so upset, Ana says, "Oh, sorry, no. Other than an NDA, we've pretty much dispensed with the contract." And then she smiles and explains, "It didn't take Christian long to realize that it just wasn't going to work."

Brit smiles at that and then seriously says, "My professional relationship with Christian is not something I can ever discuss even with you, Ana."

"Oh, of course, sorry."

Brit shakes his head and says, "No need. It would appear that part of our relationship is over, anyway."

"That's all you did for him?" At Brit's raised eyebrow, Ana blushes and says, "Sorry, forgot already; no work talk."

"It's okay, Ana." And then he brightens and says, "So, anything else you'd like to know about Christian?"

Ana considers for a moment and then says, "Sort of; is that first speech the moment you fell in love with him?"

Apparently untroubled by the question, Brit smiles and jokes, "Actually, he had me at the trembling."

Ana also smiles and then asks, "And…me being with him? You don't mind?"

His face shining with gratitude, Brit says, "No, Ana, I don't mind. I'm closer with Christian than I've ever been, thanks to you. I imagine that everyone he comes in contact with will be better off for him knowing you."

Ana leans back a little in defense against his words and says, "Please don't make me cry again."

Brit ducks his head in apology and says, "Eat. Christian will be disappointed in both of us if you don't have more than that."

Ana reaches for the fresh raspberries as she says, "Well, we wouldn't want to disappoint Christian."

It only takes Ana catching Brit's eye before they're both giggling like naughty children, and then they finish their lunch.

* * *

Slightly amazed at the amount of butterflies in her stomach at the thought of going on a date with Christian, Ana calls him as she's entering the car and he answers, "You know that you don't need to tell me when you're leaving work, right?"

"Of course, I know that your…our minions will have informed you when I stepped out the door. But I wanted to hear your voice…apparently chastising me for calling you."

Christian sighs and says, "Sorry, baby. Bad day."

The butterflies acquire teeth at the distress in his voice, and Ana pleads, "Tell me."

With another sigh, Christian says, "Well, I woke up and you weren't beside me. That was pretty bad. And then I remembered that you're still stubbornly refusing to move in here…very bad. Plus, Flynn…the dear doctor made me contemplate life without you."

"Why?"

"It's what he does; if I told him that I have arachnophobia, he'd ask me to imagine a spider crawling on my skin. When I confessed that I'm now terrified of you dying, he asked what I would do if you were dead."

Afraid of the answer, Ana still asks, "And?"

"I couldn't even imagine it at first, but then…I didn't like it. My first thought was that I'd find a way to die." Willing him to hear her silent wishes, Ana waits and then Christian continues, "But then I realized you wouldn't like that, not even a little bit."

Ana breathes a sigh of relief and says, "No, I wouldn't."

"So, I guess it would be struggle on as a shell of a man, then a string of meaningless affairs with lusty women who like rough sex and eventually settle down with someone almost exactly like you."

"Almost?"

"Well, I seriously doubt there are two of you on this tiny planet, Anastasia."

Hugging herself, wishing it were him, Ana says, "Back at you, Grey." And then she asks, "So, how was your other therapy?"

"The physical equivalent of imagining you dying, but there's already some movement in the ankle. I have to endure more of the same tomorrow and begin exercising it in the pool each day."

Remembering that Christian is able to block the pain if he's distracted, Ana only says, "I can see Escala. All that separates us is…okay, a depressing amount of rush hour traffic. But I'll be with you soon."

"Good." After a moment, Christian exclaims, "God, I want to fuck you."

Heat coursing through her at his words, Ana gasps at the strength of her sudden need for him and says, "Change your mind?"

Sounding like a man in great pain, Christian groans, "No."

In a moment of inspiration, Ana says, "Don't go planning anything for tomorrow. I'm cooking for you at my place."

Sounding suddenly weary, Christian says, "And will Miss Kavanagh be joining us?"

"No. I killed Kate and disposed of her body in the Sound. She won't be teasing you any time soon."

Christian manages a laugh and says, "I doubt that she'll be doing that anyway. What the hell did you say to her? She was completely cowed."

"I reminded her that you're my boyfriend and she's to show you the appropriate respect."

"No, really, I want to know."

"That's it, Christian, I swear. I suspect it was more the way I said it than my actual words. She's used to walking all over me."

"She'd make a wonderful submissive."

Surprised, Ana says, "First of all, Grey, back off my friend. And you've met Kate Kavanagh, right? Before you she was the only person who constantly ordered me around. If you'll recall, her powers of persuasion are the reason we met."

Ana can imagine Christian's confident grin as he says, "You're saying that I can't spot a submissive?"

"Well, you fucked up completely with me, didn't you?"

Christian laughs and says, "Okay, I'll grant you that. But you do occasionally obey me."

"Occasionally. So, where are we going tonight? We are going out, right?"

"Well, it wouldn't be like a regular date if we just ate in the kitchen, would it?"

"What time? I need a shower before we go."

Christian groans and says, "If you must."

"I can skip it if we'll be late."

After a moment, Christian says, "It's not that…" Christian laughs and explains, "This is a big apartment. I'm sure I'll find somewhere far enough from your naked body that I can manage to leave you alone."

Her body again mirroring his desire, Ana releases a heavy breath and says, "Yeah, I think that I'll skip it just this once…and make sure that I get up early enough to shower in the morning tomorrow."

"Thank you. And tell Taylor that if he doesn't get you here in five minutes he's fired."

Ana smiles and says, "We're about to enter the parking level. So I'm going to hang up before I lose the signal. See you almost soon enough." On a whim, Ana adds, "And, Grey?"

"Yeah?"

"I bet you never expected to be the needy boyfriend, huh?" Ana hangs up with slightly trembling fingers, wondering if it will be enough to change Christian's mind.

Christian is waiting when the elevator opens, his expression as black as coal. Shocked at the intensity of his reaction, despite having deliberately provoked it, Ana is still motionless, waiting to see what he'll do, when the doors start to close. Christian stops them with a slam of his hand on the doorframe, making Ana almost jump out of her skin, and then he growls, "Out!" Suddenly unsure of herself, Ana meekly does as bid. His expression livid, Christian rumbles, "Get dressed."

Genuinely regretting making him so angry, Ana says, "I'm sorry, Christian. I was just playing and thought…"

Punctuating his command with the foot of the walking cane impacting the floor, Christian roars, "Now!" Hands clasped before her in an instinctive defensive gesture, Ana can't force words past her terrified throat, but she's brave enough to shake her head, and Christian says, "So help me, Ana, if you don't move your ass I'll take this cane to your back."

Gasping with what she knows is an irrational fear, Ana again says, "I'm sorry."

Christian closes his eyes and takes a deep, trembling breath. When he opens his eyes, they hold no clue as to his mood and he calmly asks, "For what?"

"For, uh, trying to goad you into having sex, when you've made it very clear that…but you said; you said that you want to fuck, Christian. Please talk to me. I don't want to waste our time together arguing."

Running a trembling hand through his hair, Christian says, "Did you deliberately provoke me in the hopes that I'd need to punish you and it would lead to sex?"

"Well, it wasn't anything planned, I just…yes, I did."

"And did I make it clear, in the same conversation, that I hadn't changed my mind about not having sex until Friday?"

"Yes, you did. You also said that you wanted to fuck me."

"Well, you fixed that. Right now, I'm not even sure that I want to have dinner with you."

Struggling to breathe with how wrong she's got it this time, Ana realizes that more apologies aren't going to help and she says, "Looks like we're regular people after all." At Christian's obvious confusion, she says, "Regular people fight."

Christian forces a rictus of a grin and then says, "Do regular people want to beat their girlfriend black and blue, then fuck her brains out while she screams for mercy?"

With a feigned indifference that is far from how she feels, Ana says, "Probably far more than we'll ever know."

Christian visibly relaxes and says, "I'm still mad at you."

"Yes, Sir."

"You won't try anything like that again?"

"Uh, no…but, about tomorrow evening…there's a loophole."

"Loophole?"

"The blank contract; tomorrow is Wednesday."

"The contract doesn't apply anymore, Ana. We talked about that."

"I know, but it still has your signature on it."

"You kept it?"

"Written proof that you'd do anything, just to have me in your life? Yes, I kept it."

Finally able to smile, Christian says, "You were going to spring this on me tomorrow, weren't you?"

"Yes, Sir."

"As I recall, the Wednesday mentioned is after three weekends here."

"True. But, since we never actually followed the paperwork, it's impossible to know which week this is."

Christian considers for a moment and then says, "Okay, Ana."

Utterly confused, Ana shakes her head, trying to make sense of his words and says, "Okay? You mean…?"

"I mean that we can have sex at your apartment tomorrow; after you feed me, of course."

"But…you're Petruchio, aren't you? You're actually trying to drive me insane."

Christian laughs and says, "No, but I may have thought of a suitable punishment for you."

Smart enough to suspect, Ana says, "Oh, no, Christian…not in public."

With a wicked grin, confirming her fears, Christian says, "It doesn't count unless it's in public."

Ana growls, "Fuck! For how long?"

"Just this evening."

"And tomorrow you'll have sex with me?"

Ana finally sees her Christian in his eyes when he grins and says, "Well, actually, I was hoping you'll have sex with me. I'm still injured, after all."

"Why have you changed your mind?"

Christian laughs again and says, "Other than your efforts to seduce me? Because, if I wait another three days before getting my hands on your body, I'll go mad."

His words sending a shiver of remembered pleasure over her skin, Ana says, "Oh, God, I miss your hands. Okay, Christian, I'll obey you for this one evening."

"In everything?"

"Yes, Sir."

Christian beams his pleasure and corrects, "Yes, my _lord_."

Already in enough trouble, Ana resists the urge to roll her eyes and says, "Yes, my lord."

His head cocked to one side, a grin of pure glee on his face, Christian says, "Unless you'd prefer to address me as _husband_." Christian chuckles at the sudden fear on Ana's face and then he says, "Lord it is, then. Now go and get ready; the blue satin gown."

"Yes, my lord."

Grateful that Christian appears willing to forgive her, Ana spends the bare minimum of time before the mirror in his bathroom, making herself look less like an overworked editorial assistant. When she enters the bedroom to change, Christian is there, looking almost indecently handsome in a charcoal dinner suit with black satin trim. Tonight, even the walking cane seems to add to the ensemble. He's even bothered with a bow tie and Ana feels another twinge of guilt that she almost ruined everything with her need to push his buttons.

The strapless, blue evening gown is laid out neatly on the bed, so Ana guesses that Christian is going to watch her get dressed. Without a word, she strips out of her work clothes and hangs them in the closet. When Ana then opens a draw to choose clean underwear, Christian says, "No. What you have on is fine."

So Ana knows that, despite his apparent calm, Christian is still very much susceptible to her charms. The knowledge that his elegant suit almost certainly conceals an impressive erection means that Ana's hands are shaking as she dons the gown. She's struggling to make her fingers cooperate enough to manage the side zip when Christian is suddenly by her side and easily accomplishes the task. Ana has to swallow before she can manage, "Thank you, my lord."

Christian gasps and takes a step back from her, then says, "Look at me." When Ana immediately complies, he commands, "Hands clasped behind your back. Do _not_ move."

When Ana is standing as ordered, Christian again closes the distance between them and reaches around to grab a handful of her hair, avoiding touching her skin. He tugs gently on her hair until her face is angled up to his and then he softly asks, "Why do you continue to defy me?"

He's apparently in earnest, so Ana considers and then says, "Uh, I don't really know…because I can't help it, because the prospect of watching your practiced self-control unravel is like a red rag to a bull for me…and because I know that you like it."

With the reminder "Don't move," Christian just skims his lips across hers, teasing sparks of pleasure with each contact, until Ana can't help but respond. Immediately ending the kiss, Christian stares down into Ana's wounded eyes and says, "_Don't move_ includes your lips and tongue."

"Sorry, my lord."

Apparently satisfied with her answer, Christian resumes his torment of her lips, until Ana is quivering with need and moans against his mouth. When Christian again ends the kiss, Ana assumes that the ordeal is over. But he only moves his lips to her throat, placing an achingly tender kiss on the pulse point before trailing a torturous path along the collarbone to her shoulder. There, he presses his lips against her skin in a lingering kiss, and then nips her, sending a jolt of pleasure down her body and suddenly releases her as he says, "Right, let's eat."

Ana is still in place, swaying slightly and trembling when Christian reaches the door and turns, saying, "Come on, or we'll be late."

Ana knows that Christian can't have endured that little exercise and be unaffected, but his rigid control means that there are no apparent signs of his arousal. Grabbing her purse, Ana scurries after him thinking that, despite her earlier success, when it comes to playing this game of provocation, she's completely outclassed.

Christian is holding the elevator for her. Only when he pushes the button to close the door does Ana notice that he's trembling. He spots her glance and quickly drops his hand to his side. At her quiet smile of victory, Christian's eyes twinkle and he growls, "No smiling, either."

Somehow managing to then confine the smile to her eyes, Ana promises, "Never, my lord."

* * *

Where credit's due: "Petruchio" is, of course, from "The Taming of the Shrew", by William Shakespeare...wonder how many followers he'd have, if he wrote fanfic?


	19. Chapter 19

On the Rocks: Chapter Nineteen

As they get in the car, Ana automatically takes the middle seat, as always. When Christian merely shakes his head, she tries to ignore the sudden churning in her belly and dons the seatbelt by the opposite door. As the car gets underway, Christian swings his injured ankle onto her lap. Surprised, Ana gets her hands out of the way just in time, but is then unsure where to rest them and Christian says, "It won't hurt; no more than it already does, anyway."

Ana gratefully rests her hands on the ankle brace and says, "Can I do anything?"

"How cold are your hands?"

In answer, Ana reaches just beneath the hem of his trousers. Christian smiles and says, "Cold enough. You can be my ice pack for a while." Ana gently removes the brace, to see that the outside of his ankle is covered by a dark bruise. Her gaze flies to Christian's and he says, "It's not as bad as it looks."

Placing her hands gently on his ankle, Ana says, "Good, because it looks like shit."

Christian chuckles and says, "True enough. That's nice, thank you."

Wondering if she's forgiven, Ana smiles and says, "You're welcome, my lord."

With a ready grin, Christian says, "You'd better watch out; a guy could get used to this sort of treatment."

With a quiet smile, Ana says, "Except that the guy in question is smart enough to know better."

"Well, that remains to be seen. I'm not angry with you anymore."

Beaming her gratitude at him, Ana says, "But the punishment stands."

Though it wasn't a question, Christian says, "Yes. I'm enjoying it far too much."

Realizing that it's the truth, Ana says, "Strangely, so am I. Thank you, my lord."

Christian's eyes widen in surprise and then he smiles and leans his head back, saying, "Yes, a guy could definitely get used to this."

Taylor announces that they're almost to the restaurant, so Ana replaces Christian's brace as she says, "Hope that helped."

"It did, thank you. Now, do we need to discuss what I'll expect of you this evening, Katherina?"

Remembering what she knows of the Shakespearean game, Ana says, "Uh, do what you tell me, when you tell me, and accept everything you say as the truth?"

"All good. And, for tonight, we'll add eating or drinking only after I do, okay?"

Realizing that he's not asking permission, Ana says only, "Understood."

Ana can see that they're approaching a restaurant called Art of the Table when Christian asks, "Not fun anymore?"

Only then does Ana realize that she's biting her bottom lip and quickly releases it before saying, "No, it is. But…do you really want this from me all the time? Do you still need a submissive?"

Christian shakes his head in dismay and says, "I don't know how many ways I have to tell you that you're all I need, Ana. If you were my sub, you wouldn't even be in this car."

"What would she be doing?"

Christian carefully appraises her mood for a few seconds and then says, "Well, assuming this was the weekend, she'd be either cooking my dinner, or cleaning for me."

"You made them clean for you?"

"I didn't _make_ them do anything, Ana. They wanted to please me."

"Because you'd then please them?"

"Essentially, yes."

The car pulls up at the door of the restaurant and, judging the time to be right, Ana says, "Taylor, can you give us a minute?"

With a glance in the mirror, Taylor says "Yes ma'am," and does as bid.

When they're alone, Ana says, "Please them by beating them black and blue?"

Christian grimaces at this none-too-subtle reference to his earlier outburst and says, "No, I've never done that."

"Did you really want to do that to me?"

With the guilty shrug that is becoming so familiar, Christian says, "No…perhaps for a second. I'm not sure."

Ana considers his reply and then says, "Looks like Flynn will be able to add an extension to his house."

Christian offers a weak smile at that and says, "I guess so." And then he warily asks, "You weren't afraid?"

Ana shakes her head and says, "Not really. My legs wanted to run. But fortunately my brain is in control and I know that you wouldn't actually do that."

Christian groans and runs a hand through his hair, saying, "Sometimes it doesn't seem like I'm getting better at all."

"Considering that you couldn't even speak when they found you and can now threaten your girlfriend in at least two languages, I'd say you've made great progress."

"Not funny, Ana."

"I'm not laughing, Christian. Can you explain why you got _that_ angry with me, or will I have to wait for the session notes?"

"No, I want to…I just…I'm not sure how. Okay, different roleplaying; ask me questions, like Flynn does. Can you do that?"

"I can try." And considers for a moment and then asks, "How do you feel about being called needy?"

Christian's breath catches and his eyes widen, then he sighs and says, "Not good."

"What is it about needing affection that scares you?"

Christian forces a smile and says, "Flynn could be out of a job." And then he bolsters himself with another deep breath and explains, "I've never…it's not something I've ever needed before."

"Not true, Grey." At his obvious confusion, Ana says, "You must have needed it at some point. Everyone does." She sees understanding cross his face and then she asks, "Before me, when was the last time you craved affection?"

Christian's inner struggle is clearly written on his face, and then he shakes his head and says, "I'm sorry. I honestly can't remember."

"But you can guess what happened when you expected it, or asked for it?"

With a harsh nod, Christian says, "I imagine that it was not forthcoming."

"Now, what is it that you fear about needing affection?"

Christian considers for a moment and then grimaces as he says, "I'm afraid that you won't oblige."

"But not really…not your rational self."

Now with a genuine smile, Christian says, "No. You love me and frankly, Miss Steele, you're a little needy yourself."

Ana removes her seatbelt, climbs onto his lap and rests her palm over his heart before saying, "Yes, I am."

Christian readily embraces her and they sit like that for a while, until he says, "I'm sorry."

"Not yet, you're not." When Christian tenses, Ana explains, "Your paroxysm of rage is making me reconsider moving in with you."

Christian groans and is silent for a while, then says, "Okay, but I think you're wrong."

"You don't think that you overreacted when you knew that I was just messing with you?"

"No, that part is correct. But I think such incidents are less likely to occur if I can just wake up next to you every day."

At first moved by this simple statement, Ana decides to test him and, her heart feeling as if it's trying to escape, asks, "Feeling _needy_, Christian?"

His eyes flare with something, but it's not anger, and then Christian is kissing Ana as if he can't get enough of her. He makes no move towards anything other than this simple declaration of his feelings, and then he lifts his head, a little breathless, and says, "Absolutely, constantly, desperately; I need you so much that it frightens me."

Stunned into silence for a while, Ana then smiles and says, "Can we eat now? I'm starving."

Christian grins and says, "Yes, Katherina."

Dismayed, Ana says, "Not still?"

With a lingering smile, Christian says, "You just admitted again that you deliberately tried to anger me. And you know me well enough to understand that I need to punish you for that."

Despite his jovial mood, Ana says, "It scares you to say that, doesn't it?"

Almost without hesitation, Christian says only, "Yes."

"Because some part of you fears that I'll run again?"

Christian gently caresses her cheek and says, "If I were you, I would have kept on running."

Ana shrugs and says, "Too lazy."

Christian smiles, kisses her again and says, "Let's eat."

Not quite done with him, Ana says, "Yes, husband."

Christian raises an eyebrow and says, "That's how you're going to play it?" At Ana's nod he asks, "Even though it scares you?"

"Even so."

Apparently genuinely confused, Christian asks, "Why?"

Playing her winning hand, Ana smiles and says, "Because it pleases you."

Christian gasps and just stares at Ana for a few seconds, his gaze burning into hers until she actually feels naked before him and then he apparently calmly opens the door, spinning Ana on his lap, so that she can exit the vehicle, as he says, "Then the least I can do is please you."

Taylor immediately steps forward to help Ana from the car, which is just as well, because her legs are a little unsteady. Despite his injured ankle, Christian exits gracefully and hands Ana her purse. She smiles and says, "Christian, you were going to do that anyway."

Taking Ana's hand, Christian leads her into the restaurant as he solemnly vows, "Yes, I am."

Once inside the door, Ana looks around at the empty tables and says, "Well, that explains why there were so many parking spaces available out there. Did you pay for every table?"

"In a way. They don't normally open on a Tuesday. Our chef is Justin and he's promised to make tonight very special."

Smiling at the Grey version of a regular date, Ana says, "Thank you, husband."

Christian's eyes blaze with sudden desire and he says, "Oh, I like that far too much."

The maître de shows them to a secluded table and cheerfully announces that there'll be nine courses, each accompanied by a different sample of wine. When he's sure that they're comfortable, he retreats to his station within sight, but out of earshot, and Christian says, "In case this goes well enough that you'd ever want to do it again, I think that I'd like to do that."

"Announce the meal?"

"No. I'd want to push your chair in as you sit down, but…," and he gestures to his ankle.

Ana smiles and says, "You sound like you've never been on a date before."

"You know I haven't; not one-on-one like this."

"But…seriously, never?" At his helpless shrug, Ana says, "I can see that I probably should have worked that out, but you didn't actually say…suddenly nervous for some reason."

Christian grins and says, "Good. But why nervous?"

"Uh, I guess…it's a lot of responsibility, to be someone's first date."

With a quiet smile, Christian says, "Like when I took your virginity."

Ana smiles and says, "You've never taken anything from me, Christian. You only give."

Quietly grateful, Christian says, "I'd like to give you more."

Ana knows that he's again asking her to move in and says, "Yes, I know. But I'm still not convinced that it's the best thing for either of us."

Obviously disappointed, Christian nods and then forces a smile, saying, "Then I shall have to persuade you."

His words evoke a memory of an incident seemingly in their distant past, but Ana knows that it can't have been very long ago. Following the train of thought brings her to a revelation. And then she becomes aware that Christian is staring at her, as if he's listening to her thoughts, and she muses out loud, "Sometimes I wonder if you can actually read my mind."

"Unfortunately not, but I'd very much like to know what you were just thinking. You seemed very far away for a moment there."

Suddenly serene, feeling truly confident for the first time since falling at Christian's feet what seems like eons ago, Ana says, "Not that far away. I was thinking about you. The punishments are for me too, aren't they?"

Not even Christian's control is good enough to hide his surprise and then he says, "Yes. But how did you work that out?"

"Oh, something you said when we were first discussing the contract. You said that, if I refused the punishments, you'd persuade me to accept them. At the time, not knowing you, I'd assumed those words were a threat. But…this evening, even as I was shocked and frightened by your rage, I felt shitty for having upset you like that."

When Ana is silent for a while, Christian prompts, "No more shitty?"

As if remembering that he exists, Ana looks at Christian and says, in wonder, "No. It's as if…accepting the punishment has erased my guilt. Why didn't you tell me that was what you were doing?"

With a shrug, Christian explains, "It's not something you can learn from telling. You have to experience it. And I'd say we're done with punishment for tonight."

"But I still want to please you."

His face shining with love, Christian says, "You _do_ please me."

Suddenly too far away from him, Ana stands and moves around the table to lean down and kiss Christian. Her breath catches when his hand alights on her hip, his searing touch eliciting a reaction from her flesh even through the satin. It's becoming something more when the waiter's polite cough announces the arrival of their first course. Christian smiles against Ana's lips and murmurs, "Want me to tell him to fuck off?"

Straightening, as she casually wipes the lipstick from Christian's lips with her thumb, Ana says, "No, I'm hungry."

When the waiter leaves, almost concealing his grin, Christian says, "You're amazing." At Ana's confusion, he explains, "Not that long ago a little incident like that would have made you blush down to your toes and left you a stammering mess. Now here you are, cool as a cucumber, after the maître de and waiter just saw you with your tongue down my throat."

Ana had actually forgotten the unobtrusive maître de and can't help blushing a little as she says, "You like me to be embarrassed, don't you?"

Christian shakes his head and says, "On the contrary. One of my goals for you is that you'll become confident enough to enter any room in the world, in any company, and feel it in your bones that you belong there." And then he grins and his voice is rich with desire as he reveals, "I only want you to blush when we're alone."

The last sentence, delivered in _that_ tone of voice, ensures that Ana's color deepens and she "angrily" proclaims, "You're not a nice man, Christian Grey."

Delighted with her reaction, Christian proudly acknowledges, "No, I'm not."

The appetizer is tuna crudo with brussel sprout kimchi and it really does look like art. Ana is pondering whether to continue the "punishment" enough to wait for Christian when something else occurs to her and she asks, "Why the waiting?" At his frown, she explains, "You added that clause. You must have had a reason. And, since we've established that the punishment was at least partly for my benefit, your reason must somehow lead to my pleasure."

Christian shrugs and says, "Again, it's something better learned through experience."

In answer, Ana puts down her cutlery and waits. With only the hint of a smile, Christian takes a leisurely sip of his wine. Having chosen to put aside her needs and focus on her lover, even the ostensibly mundane act of his strong, elegant fingers casually grasping the slender stem as he brings the glass to his mouth is enough to spark Ana's passion. And the sight of his sensuous, sculpted lips essentially kissing the rim as the crisp, white wine disappears down his throat means that, panting slightly through just parted lips, she can only breathe, "Ah."

Christian's triumphant smile is wide and then he says, "Pace yourself, Ana. There's nine courses, remember?"

"Oh, God."

Christian's sudden laughter sounds very loud in the almost empty room and then he says, "Eat. You'll need your strength for tomorrow night."

Shaking her head in awe at the strength of her feelings for him, Ana begins her meal with trembling hands. And then something else occurs to her and she says, "That's why only the weekends?"

"For the women?" At Ana's nod, Christian says, "Other than I run a business empire, yes. The waiting makes it better for both parties."

"You don't wait for me…I mean, until this week."

"Actually, I always wait for you. Even this past weekend, we fucked less than I'd like to. You sleep a _lot_."

"God, Christian, my body has barely recovered from Sunday. And, if I sleep a lot, it's because you're exhausting."

Immediately concerned, Christian asks, "Your back is sore?"

Smiling at his apparent innocence, Ana says, "No, darling, not my back."

His shining eyes making a lie of the statement, Christian says, "Sorry."

Ana beams at him and says, "I'm not."

The next course is a blue cheese salad incorporating a myriad of textures and flavors. Ana again forces herself to wait for Christian, enjoying every second of it. When her breathing has settled down enough to permit conversation, she says, "Your subs did this."

"Yes."

"Did you ever make them watch while you ate the whole meal?" At his glare, Ana amends, "Sorry, did you ever…_persuade_ them to watch you eat?"

Once again appraising Ana's sincerity before answering, Christian eventually says, "Sometimes. Occasionally, as punishment, they might then have to leave their meal untouched."

"That seems a little cruel."

Christian shrugs and says, "There are worse things than enduring hunger, Ana."

"And you know what that's like?"

Immediately upset, Christian says, "Why do you do that? Why do you ask questions that you know will make me uncomfortable, and to which you already know the answer?"

"Uh, I guess…to prove that I can know this stuff about you and not freak out. I want to know everything about you, Christian. But, though I can't…identify with what you've endured, I can understand why you don't want to revisit it. So it's up to you."

Christian considers her words, visibly calming down, and then he slowly nods and says, "Okay. But it's not suitable dinner conversation. Ask me later and I'll answer."

Deciding that such trust deserves a reward, Ana says, "Thank you, husband."

Christian's eyes widen in delight and then he says, "Yes, I definitely like this game. Now eat, _wife_." His emphasis on the last word proves that he at least suspects the effect it will have on Ana. She's still staring at him, eyes filled with wonder, when he chuckles and again commands, "Eat."

The rest of the evening passes by in a blur of culinary delights as, to the soft sound of classical music, they enjoy porcini flan, fisherman's stew, sausage-stuffed quail, black cod, braised ox-tail in masa crepe and then two desserts; olive oil cake with cinnamon ice-cream and caramelized apples, plus the finale of pear and almond tart with fig-ginger compote and black pepper crème fraîche. Each dainty portion is masterfully matched with just enough wine that Ana is only slightly buzzed by the end of the meal, but too full, when Christian suggests a cup of tea, to say anything other than, "I couldn't."

Christian smiles and says, "Special enough?"

"Yes. I'd very much like to do this again, even if I move in."

Christian shakes his head in mock anger and says, "There's that word again, _if_. Perhaps I should start punishing you for that?"

Confident that he's not that stupid, Ana smiles and says, "I wouldn't."

Christian smiles at her answer and then says, "Well, if you're done; Escala? I'm afraid there won't be any dancing tonight…oh, unless you'd be comfortable with me watching you?"

Ana considers and then says, "If you're comfortable with it, maybe we could combine the two? I'm not much of a dancer, but I know you like watching me move."

Christian is standing before Ana finishes the sentence and says, "I think that would make me distinctly and specifically _un_comfortable, but still an excellent plan, Miss Steele."

As they head to the exit, Ana says, "You've paid?" At Christian's nod, she asks, "Is that why we're usually the only customers? Because you throw enough money at the owners to ensure we'll be alone?"

Christian's smug grin confirms that she's guessed correctly, but he suggests, "Happy coincidence?" At her glare, he explains, "I abhor waiting in queues and you already know that I don't like sharing you. This way we can really enjoy our time together."

Unable to be angry at his extravagance and controlling ways with such an excuse for it, Ana follows him to the waiting car as she says, "I guess that a girl could get used to such preferential treatment, but it would take a while."

Ana can almost feel Christian's sudden attention at her hopeful words. She glances at him in time to see the delighted, boyish grin and then Christian says, "I'm glad you're at least picturing a future with me in it."

They resume their normal places next to each other in the back seat as Taylor heads for Escala, and then Ana says, "Far too often. You're turning me into a daydreamer."

"Oh? What sort of dreams?" At Ana's hesitation, Christian adds, "On the understanding that no divulgence of said dreams constitutes a promise of any sort."

Ana smiles at that and says, "Okay, on such an understanding; I imagine what it would be like living with you, loving you and spending enough time together that the currently awkward stuff between us becomes commonplace."

"What stuff?"

"Well, I guess the biggest one is, when I defy you, I have no idea whether it will bring out playful Christian, angry Christian or, my personal favorite, some delicious combination of the two."

With a bemused grin, Christian says, "Angry/ playful is your favorite?"

"Oh, yes. He comes up with the best games. Though I am a huge fan of playful Christian, too."

Christian nods as he digests this information and then says, "Okay, what else?"

"Well, almost every meal seems to be still a battleground, with you demanding that I eat more and that very act removing what's left of my appetite after just being around you has made me nervous enough that I've lost the will to eat."

Frowning in an effort to follow her words, Christian then asks, "You're still nervous around me?"

Ana smiles and says, "Were you not listening to the first part of this conversation?"

"Me angry makes you nervous enough that you don't want to eat?" When Ana gestures that he's guessed correctly, Christian looks uncomfortable and asks, "But you envision this problem easing with time?"

"Absolutely. Either you'll finally learn to relax or I'll get better at performing the high wire act of provoking you."

Somewhat appeased by her words, Christian smiles weakly and suggests, "Perhaps a combination of the two?"

Leaning against his shoulder, Ana says, "That could work, too."

"Any other habits of mine that remove your will to eat?"

"Uh, well, if you prefer to clip your toenails, or any equally gross grooming habits in the living room or bed, we could have a problem. But, other than that, there's only..." With a nervous glance at Taylor, Ana whispers, "When I really want you."

Struggling, against the odds, to contain his smile, Christian asks, "Lust removes your appetite for food?" At Ana's shy nod, he says, "That's a shame, because you've just crossed several _very_ fun games off the list."

Her imagination running wild with what he could mean, Ana smiles and quietly says, "Well, maybe we should try a few…you know, desensitize me to it?"

Nodding, Christian "seriously" declares, "Maybe we should. But not tomorrow; your loophole specifies vanilla." At Ana's crestfallen face, Christian chuckles and says, "I'm glad you're disappointed at the thought. But I can safely promise that you won't be disappointed by this time tomorrow."

Ana shakes her head and says, "I suspect that I'm not going to be much use at work."

"As the owner of the company, I'm going to pretend that I didn't hear that."

With a knowing smile, Ana asks, "And as my boyfriend?"

With a grin, Christian says, "As your boyfriend, I can sympathize entirely. If you don't move in soon, my entire empire could collapse and I would neither notice nor care."

At this reminder, Ana says, "I still haven't decided."

After one, deep breath, Christian says, "Yeah, I know. Is there anything else concerning you? I'm still prepared to do anything…well, anything within the constraints of my fucked-upedness, anyway."

Genuinely moved by his pledge, Ana warmly says, "No one could ask for more." And then she thinks about it and asks, "Long-term, are you imagining the whole shebang; marriage, kids, dog and/or cat?"

"Well, I can't imagine ever owning a minivan, but yeah; the whole shebang. Though this might be a good time to mention that…being a father is one…" Shaking his head in distress, Christian exclaims, "Fuck! I can't even say it. I'm sorry, Ana."

Resting her hand on Christian's cheek long enough to turn his gaze to hers, Ana says, "Hey, it's okay. So, this is one of the things that terrifies you?" When Christian only shrugs, Ana asks, "Scale of one to ten?"

Christian considers and says, "About a nine, second only to you dying."

Heart pounding in sympathetic fear, Ana asks, "Is it something you can discuss?"

It's almost a shock when Ana notices that they're entering the parking garage of Escala, and Taylor asks, "Need a minute, ma'am?"

Smiling at this confirmation that the loyal, affectionate romantic in guise of their security officer actually hears far more than he ever reveals, Ana warmly says, "Thank you, Taylor."

Just this once taking the assigned parking space, instead of pulling up at the elevator, Taylor wordlessly exits the car to watch over them while they talk in private. By then Ana is sitting across Christian's lap, waiting for him to speak. After another deep breath, Christian says, "What do you want to know?"

"Why does the thought of being a father scare you so much? Are you afraid that you'd hurt our child?"

His face a mask of pain, Christian nods and says, "Hurt the child, neglect them, fuck them up completely with my need to control everything. There's nothing...my childhood was so…I have no point of reference from which to contemplate how to be even a half-way decent parent."

Almost unable to speak past the pain she feels for him, Ana manages, "Yes, you do."

Christian's brow crinkles with effort as he struggles to understand, and then his expression softens as he says, "You're speaking of Grace."

With a sigh of relief that he seems calmer, Ana says, "In more ways than one. And not just Grace; your entire family have been educating you on this subject for years."

"I guess so. But that doesn't mean I have what it takes to be a father."

Pondering how to get Christian to set aside his fears long enough to see the truth, Ana then realizes that _he_ has the answer, so she says, "Your ability to control your emotions; is that something you use for fear, as well as anger and passion?"

Immediately wary, Christian says only, "It can be."

"Is it harder when I'm on your lap like this?"

With a sudden grin, Christian says, "Baby, everything is harder with you on my lap."

Incredibly relieved that he's relaxed enough to tease her, Ana giggles as she leaves his embrace, and then she says, "Okay, Flynn time; imagine that I'm in labor, the pain bad enough that, even after years of you helping me find my limits, I still scream as our child is born. But I'm fine and the baby is healthy." Christian seems okay, completely consumed and only slightly troubled by her words. So Ana continues, "Now, imagine that you're holding our…?"

Christian smiles and declares, "Son."

Resisting the urge to roll her eyes at his clichéd choice, Ana says, "You're holding our son. What are you thinking as you stare into his eyes?"

Christian grins again and says, "One breast each okay with you, kiddo?"

Unable to keep from smiling, Ana protests, "Christian, I'm serious."

Christian leans towards her and, only inches from her radiant smile, says, "Oh, yes, I can see that you're deadly serious." And then he kisses her and drags her back onto his lap as he says, "It's okay, Freud, I heard you. The fear is about a six now; not nearly enough to prevent me from cheerfully impregnating you when we're ready." He kisses her again and then declares, "If you keep doing this, you're going to save me a fortune in shrink bills."

Ana chuckles and says, "Considering that you're going to insist on giving me half your money, I can't imagine you'll be better off." At Christian's knowing smile, she says, "What?"

"There was no _if_ in that sentence."

Recoiling slightly, Ana says, "I haven't…"

Christian forestalls her protest with his fingertips on her lips and says, "Haven't decided yet; I know, baby, but you're coming around and that will suffice for now. Thank you."

They silently embrace for a while, Ana leaning against Christian's shoulder and he with his cheek resting against her forehead and then his voice is barely above a whisper when he says, "Don't look at me until I've finished, okay?"

Immediately tensing in fear of she knows not what, Ana gulps and says, "Okay."

After a tremulous breath, Christian says, "I don't remember all of it…the beatings and torture stand out, obviously. My mother being…well, I didn't know she'd been dead until I was old enough to understand such things; likewise for the times when she was high or strung out and I just thought she was sick. The few good things I recall are a fuzzy memory of being held and the times she'd let me brush her hair. Other than that the only memories I have are of being hungry, alone and in pain. When I was older I worked out that she'd often just forget to feed me, even forget to buy food. If there'd been any in the apartment, I would have found it. It was only after several sessions with Flynn that I unlocked earlier memories and, with his help, deduced that…we think some of her customers must have liked breast milk. I imagine that's the only reason her pimp permitted my birth." Ana is trembling with the effort of containing her tears when Christian concludes, "Until Grace and Carrick rescued me, I only knew hunger. The first time I was offered all the food I could eat, I made myself ill."

Feeling as if she can't breathe, Ana forces enough calm into her body to say, "You used to braid her hair."

Christian tenses in shock and gasps, "How…?" And then, his voice full of wonder, he asks, "When did I stop?"

Daring to look up at him, Ana says, "I don't know, darling. But you didn't braid my hair at all this past weekend. Until now I'd assumed it was about logistics, because the only time we used the playroom was for the wax play." Christian is lost in apparent shock at this revelation, his brow furrowed in distress and a faraway look on his face. When the lines on his forehead ease a little, Ana asks, "Does this mean you've forgiven her?"

Christian considers the matter for a few seconds, his expression once again distant, and then he smiles lovingly at Ana as he says, "No, baby. But I think maybe I don't hate her anymore."

* * *

Author's note: Dunno about you, but if I thought my lover was doing something during foreplay that reminded him of his mother...well, much as I adored her, I'm guessing it would be a mood-killer, so the braiding is gone, sorry.

Where credit's due: HappyCup, for gently pointing out the glaring error in the previous chapter. Much appreciated.

"Art of the Table" is real, as is (or was) the menu items. Only the chef's name has been change, to protect the oblivious. (Thanks, A, for the reminder)


	20. Chapter 20

On the Rocks: Chapter Twenty 

After Christian's revelation, they sit in silence for a while, Ana snuggled on his lap, when he suddenly says, "It's late."

Wondering how he can know, as his watch is on one of the arms that encircle her, Ana lifts her head to see that Christian is looking at the dashboard clock and she says, "No time for dancing?"

With genuine regret, Christian shakes his head and says, "Maybe tomorrow. Do you need your work clothes right now?" When Ana shakes her head, Christian opens the door enough to call Taylor over and instruct him to drive to Ana's apartment. And then he gently puts Ana off his lap as he reminds her, "Seatbelt."

As they leave the garage, Ana says, "You'll still talk to Flynn about everything we discussed, right?"

"Yes, baby, everything." Christian hesitates and says, "And I'm going to resume seeing him twice a week. I don't like feeling as if I'm backsliding, but you…I can't know what I'm going to do when I'm around you and it scares the shit out of me." With a wry grin, he adds, "It's a truly tragic irony that the one person I've met whom I would never want to be angry with is also the only person in the world who can make me lose control so completely that I worry what I'm capable of."

Ana doesn't share his fear, so she smiles and says, "I don't suppose your other women gave you this much trouble."

Catching her cheerful mood, Christian says, "Oh, they provoked me…some of them consistently and expertly. But I didn't love them, Ana, so nothing was ever really going to disrupt my calm."

"They provoked you so that you'd punish them?" At Christian's immediate wariness, Ana says, "I don't need to know, but I'd like to."

Christian nods his assent and then says, "Mostly it was playful provocation, like your favorite hobby, intended to heighten emotions and make play more fun. But a couple of them wanted more…not more like we want, rather they objected to my hard limits about how much damage I'm willing to inflict on another person."

Struggling to cope with this information, Ana decides that she knows enough about the subject and says, "I feel sorry for them."

"You shouldn't. They will have found someone to meet their needs by now."

"No, I mean that I feel sorry for all of them; the women who got you for the weekends and never went on a date with you. They only ever saw part of you."

With an embarrassed twitch of his shoulders, Christian says, "It's all I had to offer them."

"It wasn't a criticism, Christian. I'm just…I guess that I'm grateful to them, in a way. They helped keep you sane all these years and I get to reap the benefits."

With a knowing smile, Christian says, "You're grateful to Elena?"

Immediately tensing, Ana glares at him and says, "Not her. And I don't want to talk about it."

His eyes full of humor, Christian says, "Oh, so I have to lay out all my fears for your dissection, but you can simply refuse to speak?"

"I don't fear her, Christian, I loathe her. And that's all I'm going to say on the subject."

Relenting, Christian says, "Okay, baby. But you really are incredibly beautiful when you're angry. It's almost irresistible."

Leaning her head against his shoulder, Ana says, "I'm glad that you trust what we have enough to risk angering me, but wouldn't flattery be a better tool if the aim is to get me to move in with you?"

Christian laughs softly and kisses her forehead, then says, "Yet another excellent point, Miss Steele. Henceforth, I shall behave as a perfect gentleman."

Suddenly feeling very tired, Ana says, "You said that there's no such thing."

"Which is why I said that I'd behave like one, not become one."

Ana's apartment comes into view and, on a whim, she pleads, "Can you stay?" When Christian immediately tenses, Ana says, "I'm not going to try and trick you. I'm just feeling needy."

Christian relaxes a little and says, "I can stay until you fall asleep. You're not the only one with a job, and I want to get enough work done that I can devote the weekend to pleasing you."

"Thank you…and, thank you, in anticipation. I'm beginning to love that word; anticipation."

As the car pulls up outside her door, Christian says, "I'm a big fan of it myself."

Christian asks Taylor to wait and escorts Ana inside. Kate is still awake and warmly greets Ana, commenting favorably on her gown, before coolly saying to Christian, "Grey."

Christian offers a semblance of a bow and says, "Miss Kavanagh."

Ana asks Kate to leave the light on if she goes to bed and then says goodnight. Christian follows Ana to her bedroom and unzips the dress when she wordlessly asks for his assistance. And then Ana asks, "Uh, you okay with watching me get into my pajamas?"

Christian smiles and says, "Yes, baby. But thanks, for thinking of me."

Despite his words, Ana blushes slightly as she first strips and then gets into her oversized t-shirt. And then she nervously says, "Uh, I need to brush my teeth and…etcetera."

Christian frowns slightly and says, "Change your mind about wanting me here?"

"No. It's just…I'm not used to an audience."

Still confused, Christian says, "You were okay at Escala when we got ready for bed together. Oh, I'm staring, aren't I? Sorry, babe, but you're by far the most interesting thing in this room. If you promise to be quick, I'll wait here for you."

Ana only smiles her gratitude and leaves to perform the necessities. When she returns, Christian has removed his jacket and is sitting on her bed with his eyes closed. He opens them when she enters and smiles as if he hasn't seen her in weeks. Ana gasps at the sudden power of her love for him and says, "You're so beautiful."

Still smiling, Christian says, "And you're too far away."

"If I leave the light on, will you switch it off as you leave?"

"Of course."

Ana climbs under the covers and snuggles against Christian as best she can with the bedcovers between them. When she rests her hand over his heart, he silently encloses her hand in one of his, and pops open a button. Ana takes the hint and opens a couple more before resting her hand against his warm chest. With a great, trembling sigh, she says, "Thank you."

His breath also a little unsteady, Christian says, "You're more than welcome, baby. Actually…can we try incorporating this tomorrow?"

Wondering if she's heard him correctly, Ana doesn't dare look at him as she says, "You want me to touch your chest while we're having sex?"

"I want to try it. I'm just…it's one of the things…oh hell, you know what I'm trying to say."

Offering her face to him, Ana says, "Yes, darling, we'll take it real easy, I promise."

Christian gratefully accepts the offer of her lips, then sighs and says, "Go to sleep."

Ana returns her head to his shoulder and says, "You've just given me permission to include your chest in our foreplay. Do you really think that I'm getting to sleep after that?"

Christian pulls the covers up over her shoulder and then caresses those wonderfully calming circles on Ana's back as he says, "Yes, I do."

Ana is almost asleep when Christian asks, "Do you think Carrick will help me be a good father?"

Ana sleepily says, "Christian, you won't be able to stop him."

* * *

When he's certain that Ana is asleep, Christian carefully extricates himself from her embrace and tenderly kisses her forehead before leaving the bed. A memory stirs and he feels under her pillow for the flattened Charlie Tango balloon, and then smiles on discovering that it's still there. He gently withdraws it and leaves it in his place on the bed, smiling again as he imagines Ana's face when she wakes and sees it beside her.

Moving as quietly as his injury will permit, Christian opens the door and switches off the light. Thankfully the Kavanagh woman has left a light on as requested. He's almost to the front door when he senses a presence. Without turning, he says, "Waiting up for me, Miss Kavanagh, or just can't sleep?"

"Why do you always call me that?"

Christian turns to face her, wary of her motives but unconcerned, and says, "Because it's considered polite and, if it weren't for you, I would never have met Anastasia. So you have my eternal gratitude."

Her face registering surprise, Kate quickly recovers and says, "But I only get three chances?"

Christian smiles and says, "Almost everyone else only gets one."

"But not Ana?"

Christian doesn't bother keeping the love from his voice when he says, "No, not Ana."

Kate digests this information for a few seconds and then says, "I don't approve of her seeing you."

"Clearly. So you'd better get over it, because only Ana can prevent me from pursuing her."

"Pursuing her?"

Christian raises one eyebrow and says, "You're actually asking my intentions?" When Kate says nothing, he sighs and explains, "We'll skip the wooing and seducing, as that's a done deal, though I consider it an ongoing obligation and privilege. As of this past weekend, I'm waiting for Ana to realize that she simply cannot live anywhere but with me. Soon after she finally relents you'll receive an invitation to our wedding, which will be exactly as Ana wishes. Because I don't give a fuck how it's done, so long as she's mine. We'll spend a few wonderful years at Escala, having sex at every opportunity, until she tells me that I'm ready to be a father. At which point I'll buy a disturbingly large house in perfect surroundings and we'll raise a family together, still having sex at every opportunity, until we die of extreme old age, post-coital, in each other's arms. Does that address all your concerns, Miss Kavanagh?"

"Nice story, Grey, but this is your second attempt at a relationship with Ana, and I don't enjoy seeing my best friend cry."

Christian can't help a grimace of pain at the thought and says, "Nor I. If it's within my power, she'll never be sad again."

When Kate suddenly stands and approaches him, Christian idly wonders if she'll get violent and considers how much force to use in stopping her. But she only extends her hand and says, "Truce?"

With a genuine smile, Christian accepts her gesture and says, "Truce. But you still only have one chance remaining."

Her gaze burning into his, Kate says, "As do you. Night, Grey."

Nodding his acknowledgment of her threat, Christian solemnly says, "Sweet dreams, Miss Kavanagh."

* * *

Ana wakes up before the alarm, which is just as well, because she'd forgotten to set it. She smiles on seeing the Charlie Tango balloon beside her and hugs it for a second before replacing it under the pillow. And then she suddenly remembers that Christian has not only agreed to have sex tonight, but will let her caress his chest. So her hands tremble slightly as she goes about her day.

Kate is already having breakfast when Ana enters the living area. After a warm greeting, Ana says, "Thanks for being civil to Christian last night. I just needed to fall asleep with him here, so I appreciate you not making it awkward."

Kate shrugs and says, "No problem, Ana. He and I are okay now."

At first confused, Ana says, "You didn't ambush him?"

"If you mean, did we talk before he left, yes."

"Kate, what did you do?"

"Relax, Ana. I told you that we're okay. He loves you."

Almost hugging herself at this confirmation, Ana smiles and says, "Yes, he does."

Ana is preparing her breakfast when Kate says, "He seems pretty certain that you're going to move in with him."

Ana snorts a laugh and says, "Yes, well, façade of confidence is something he does well. But I'm…vacillation seems the right word. I seem to change my mind every hour. There are so many reasons to just trust him, but so many obstacles, too."

"Obstacles that you still won't discuss with me?"

Ana shakes her head and gently says, "They're not my secrets, Kate."

"But you love him?"

Ana stalls her preparations long enough to look at Kate when she says, "Irrevocably."

Kate smiles and says, "Then I hope you make the right decision. Because, if you don't, someone will have their heart broken, and I think it might be Christian."

This time Ana can't keep from wrapping her arms around herself, trying to contain her emotions, as she says, "You really think he loves me that much?"

Kate smiles and warmly points out, "Enough to put up with me; so, yes." And then she laughs and says, "Wouldn't it be the wildest thing in the world if we end up as sisters-in-law?"

So Ana has to then hug Kate, and tearfully declares, "Wild and wonderful. Now stop making me cry. I have to get ready for work." And then Ana is suddenly serious as she reminds Kate, "Oh, and you'll make yourself scarce tonight?"

Kate smiles and says, "There were times I thought you'd never ask that of me. Yes, I'll go to Elliot's straight from work and won't be home before midnight, okay?"

Blushing pink, Ana says only, "Thank you."

With a wicked grin, Kate says, "No, thank _you_. Mid-week quickie is an excellent idea."

Now almost lobster red, Ana says, "You're not a nice person, Katherine Kavanagh."

Kate flounces out of the room, yet again neglecting to carry her dirty dishes to the sink, as she proudly declares, "Never claimed to be. And tell him to bring his own condoms this time."

When Kate has gone to get ready for work, Ana is smiling as she sits down at the table, and texts Christian, "Just thought-no need for condoms tonight!"

His almost immediate reply reads, "Oh, I'm well aware of that fact. A little distracted this morning, Miss Steele?"

Smiling at his need to control even the structure of his text messages, Ana sends, "Maybe a little. You?"

Within seconds, he replies, "Not at all; totally calm and relaz..relac..relas…Fuck!"

Giggling, Ana sends, "Oh yes-very relaxed. SxYS."

"SxYS?"

Delighted that he doesn't know the abbreviation, Ana replies, "Sex You Soon"

This time there's a delay before the reply, "Dropped my phone! You'd better leave me alone, or I won't get any work done at all."

Giggling again, Ana texts only "Yes, Sir," and then chuckles as she imagines his face on reading those words.

Kate enters the room, ready to go, and smilingly asks, "What the hell is going on in here? All I can hear is laughter."

Ana shows the phone in her hand and explains, "Christian."

Kate rolls her eyes and says, "You two are nauseating."

"Oh, and watching you manhandle Elliot is a joy for me?"

Kate grins and says, "Mmm…man handle." This time they both giggle and then Kate kisses Ana's cheek and says, "Bye, sweetie, don't do anything I'd be too shocked about. I'll see you in the morning."

* * *

Ana is managing some semblance of focus at work when she sees Sawyer approaching with an embarrassingly large bouquet of flowers. Thrilled that Christian is making such an effort, she nevertheless can't help a slight flush as she notices the curious stares from her colleagues. She's already a daily source of gossip for arriving with a bodyguard. And the fear that someone will find out that her boyfriend now owns the company is an almost constant hum of trepidation within Ana.

As Sawyer places the overflowing vase where she indicates, he reveals, "Not from Mr. Grey, ma'am."

"Oh." Quickly recovering for this unexpected news, Ana accepts the card and dismisses him with, "Uh, thanks, Sawyer."

The card reads simply, "If you keep this up I'll become redundant. –John." So Ana knows that Christian has spoken with Flynn.

Even as it hurts that such measures are necessary, Ana is thrilled that Christian is so dedicated to making their relationship work that he's prepared to endure more of the therapy sessions he clearly does _not_ find enjoyable. And then something occurs to her and she drops the card to call Sawyer, saying, "Does Christian know that I got flowers?"

"No, ma'am. I thought it wise not to mention it. But he may find out."

Relieved, Ana says, "It's okay, I'll tell him. Just didn't want him to…anyway, thanks. I'll take care of it."

"Yes ma'am."

After hanging up, Ana considers for a moment and then texts Christian a photo of the flowers on her desk with the message, "Oh, so you _are_ a hearts and flowers guy, after all?"

She's still staring at the phone, grinning like an idiot as she waits for his reply when it suddenly starts ringing, announcing his call. Trying to keep the smile from her voice, she answers, "Hello."

Christian sounds more nervous than angry when he asks, "Was there a card?"

"Hmm, card…must be one here somewhere."

Something in her tone has alerted him and Christian growls, "Just tell me who sent you the fucking flowers, Ana."

Ana giggles and says, "They're a thankyou from Flynn. I really appreciate you talking to him so soon and choosing to up the sessions. I know it's not fun for you."

Ana can imagine Christian shaking his head as he says, "You'll be the death of me, woman. And, you're welcome."

"You don't sound angry; progress?"

"I'd like to think so. But I suspect it's more the fact that my mind went straight to 'crazy stalker' and freaked out a little."

Feeling a little guilty, Ana says, "Well, you can relax; far as I know you're still my only crazy stalker. You weren't really worried?"

"No. But only because I'm surprised that you don't have men showering you with gifts every day. They must be all deaf, dumb, blind and/or gay in that building."

"Or the fact that I arrive every morning with an armed escort is a little off-putting."

Christian chuckles and declares, "Good!" And then he gently says, "Nine hours suddenly seems like a long time."

Her heart beating faster at the news that he's literally counting the hours until they see each other, Ana says, "Yes, it does. So we'd better get back to work and try not to think about it."

With a loud sigh, Christian says, "Yeah, you're right. Until tonight, Miss Steele."

Almost hugging the phone, Ana says, "Until tonight, Mr. Grey."

* * *

Despite the interruption of the flowers and subsequent questions from colleagues friendly enough to pry, Ana blessedly finishes work in time to start dinner. Even so, she's woefully behind when there's a knock at the door that can only be Christian. Her stomach inexplicably in knots at the thought of seeing him, Ana quickly wipes her hands and opens the door. Looking far too good to be on her doorstep, Christian is dressed casually in straight-cut brown jeans and a dark, mottled green sweater that fits his form well enough to show off his chiseled torso, making Ana immediately regret that she's arranged the evening so that they won't have sex until after dinner.

Instantly taking in everything about her appearance, from the fact that she's still in her work clothes, minus shoes, to the apron covered in traces of every course she's prepared so far, Christian smirks and says, "Should I get Taylor to drive around the block a few times?"

Ana knows very well that nothing could induce him to leave now that he's here, so she jokes, "If you would, please." Christian turns as if to leave and Ana grabs at his arm, saying, "Don't you dare."

Christian laughs, kisses her cheek and says, "Good evening, Miss Steele." And then he reveals the bottle of wine that he'd been concealing and explains, "For the chef."

Amused by his polite greeting, Ana says, "What have you done with my boyfriend?"

Laughter in his eyes, Christian says, "He's here, behaving as a perfect gentleman."

Ana can feel a giggle building within her as she says, "Well, make him stop. It's freaking me out."

Suddenly serious, Christian steps over the threshold, forcing Ana to move back. Without taking his eyes from hers, he shuts the door. Still holding her hypnotized with his stare, Christian asks, "And how exactly would you like me to behave, Miss Steele?"

Every inch of her flesh screaming to be touched, Ana stammers, "Uh, however you…Christian, you're walking."

Shaking his head at the sudden change in mood, Christian says, "Yes, though Diana has strictly forbidden any kinky fuckery until the bruise changes color."

Eyes wide, Ana asks, "Diana said that?"

"No, baby. She said no strenuous activity that might risk the ankle."

"Oh."

Christian smiles and says, "You were saying, Miss Steele?"

At first confused, Ana says, "Oh, I was saying that you should behave however you…"

This time she's interrupted by Christian's mouth on hers. After only a day without that sensation, Ana's body reacts as if it's been weeks, so that she's giddy with desire when Christian ends the kiss and affectionately rubs his nose against hers as he whispers, "Hello. You taste good."

Panting with need for him, Ana notices that his sweater is still immaculate and realizes that the only part of him that's touched her is his face, though she could have sworn that she felt his body on hers, and she explains, "Blue cheese dressing."

Christian lifts his head and says, "Starting without me, Miss Steele?"

Recovering some semblance of control over her body, Ana grins and says, "You know full well that I don't do that, Mr. Grey."

The sudden darkening of Christian's eyes confirm that he knows Ana wasn't talking about food and she's rewarded by the distinct bob of his Adam's apple as he has to swallow before saying, "For future reference, this is angry/playful Christian you're now addressing."

Surprised when her limbs obey her, Ana reaches to accept the bottle of wine from him as she asks, "Angry because I'm teasing you?"

Christian hands over the bottle and says, "Yes, and playful because nothing could induce me to be otherwise tonight."

Smiling, Ana confidently declares, "If you don't think that I can draw out angry Christian, then you really haven't been paying attention."

A flicker of fear passes through Christian's eyes and then he smiles and says, "You're teasing me again."

Delighted with his reaction, Ana giggles and says, "Yes." And then she heads to the kitchen area as she says, "I'm afraid dinner is…Ow!" Ana whirls on Christian, one hand on her reddening butt cheeks, to see that infuriatingly smug grin on his face, and she asks, "Which personality does that?"

His grin morphing into a wide smile, Christian bows and says, "Playful Christian, at your service."

The way he almost purrs the last word causes pleasure to pool in Ana's abdomen and her breath catches before she recovers enough to say, "Then get your playful ass in the kitchen and help me, or dinner will never be ready."

With a grin, Christian says, "I'm happy to oblige, though I'm sure you recall that my skills do not extend into hospitality."

Still rubbing her butt, Ana heads to check the oven as she says, "Truer words were never spoken."

Feigning indignation, as he washes his hands, Christian says, "Hey, I was being hospitable and you complained."

Ana shuts the oven door and waits until Christian turns before asking, "Would you really have kept up that politeness all evening?"

Clearly confused, Christian says, "Forever, if necessary. Did I not explain the part about being prepared to do anything for you?"

"But…not really?"

Spreading his arms wide in a gesture of helplessness, Christian says, "I'm trying to be what you want, Ana, but you're not making it easy."

"I just want you to be yourself, Christian."

Shaking his head, Christian says, "That's simply not true, Ana. The first time I showed you who I am, I didn't see you for three weeks and had to beg you to take me back."

Surprised that he's forgotten, Ana gently declares, "You're wrong." When Christian patiently waits, everything in his posture expressing doubt, Ana smiles and gently reminds him, "The first time you showed me who you are I calmly asked for more information before making a decision, all the while thinking that I would do anything if you'd just touch me, and then you went ballistic when you found out who I was…what I was."

"A virgin."

Ana nods and continues, "And then I begged you to fuck me. And, when you were done, I begged you to fuck me again. Despite being cautious enough to leave off any kinky fuckery that first time, you were neither gentle nor polite. And still, the only thing that stopped me from begging for yet more was the fact that I fell asleep." With a confident smile, Ana asks, "Now, does that sound like I wanted you to be anything other than Christian Grey?"

Christian closes the distance between them and snakes his arms around Ana's waist, and then he shakes his head in wonder and admits, "You're right. I totally forgot that was the first time I let you get a glimpse of who I really am. I guess it's like you said, some part of me is still afraid that you'll run. So my view of things is a little skewed, and I've been focusing on what scares me instead of seeing the whole picture. Can you help me out here, babe? I really am trying to understand."

Ana considers for a moment and then leans over to turn off the oven, keeping one hand on Christian so that he'll know to support her weight. And then she stands upright to look him in the eye as she asks, "Can you keep angry Christian on a leash? This won't work if you can't keep from getting angry."

Already looking afraid, Christian says, "I think so."

Certain that she's right, Ana says, "Not good enough, Grey. Either you're able to keep your rage in check or we're done."

Sounding wounded, Christian says, "You want me to go?"

"No. I want you to stop being afraid, so I can tease you without worrying about you flying off the handle. Fun as it is picking at your stitches until you unravel, I frankly don't have the energy or the will to do that for the rest of my life. And it's not who you really are, Christian, it's…can you do it, or not?"

"How? Flynn has helped me with anger management techniques, but none of them work when…I don't have any warning with you. I just go straight to furious."

"Well, you're good at being in the moment. Just stay in the moment before angry. And, look, if you don't want to do this, I'll understand. I'm…I think it's going to hurt."

Suddenly looking truly afraid, Christian says, "I told you, Ana, I can't be bound."

"God, Christian, I'm not going to bind you. This is exactly the problem. You're scared all the time." Shaking her head as she taps Christian's arms so that he'll release her, Ana says, "Let's just eat, before I lose my appetite."

But Christian's arms don't yield and his voice is ice as he asks, "What makes you think I'm always scared?"

Ana sighs and says, "Well, for one thing, the fact that you went straight to angry just because I suggested it. And I asked you to release me."

Christian immediately does so and says, "Okay, but please don't stop now. You know me better than anyone. If you think there's something I'm not seeing, then you're probably right. And…I don't like being angry with you. I just can't…please, Ana."

"All right, but sit down. I'm worried about your ankle." After they're seated facing each other on dining chairs, Ana says, "You're afraid of everything and you've been afraid all your life."

With a deep, shuddering breath, Christian says, "An example?"

"Have you ever, in your entire life, deliberately harmed a woman against her will?"

"You know I haven't. We talked about this."

"Then why are you terrified of it?"

"I…uh…fuck, I've no idea. But it seems like a good thing to be worried about."

"It is, if you're a violent man. But you're not." At his slight smile, Ana says, "Yes, I know you like to whip women. But you always wait for permission; until now, actual written permission, and you're meticulous about keeping the pain within the limits of pleasure for your partner. Violent men don't do that."

"Okay, so I'm not violent. What next?"

"Why are you afraid of being touched?"

Visibly recoiling, Christian says, "You know why. And I let you touch me almost every day."

Ana shakes her head and repeats, "Why are you afraid of being touched?"

Christian is breathing a little faster as he says, "Because some vicious fucker used me as an ashtray and beat the shit out of me."

Ana shakes her head again and says, "That's why you were afraid of being touched _then_. What would happen if anyone tried that now?"

"I'd sit them on their ass and then make sure they could never do it again."

"So why does the terror remain?"

"Because…" Christian runs his hands through his hair and says, "Fuck, Ana, you're worse than Flynn. How about you just tell me?"

"Nope. Wouldn't do any good."

Christian manages a weak smile and declares, "Yes, you're definitely Flynn." And then he runs his hands through his hair again and says, "Fear of being touched, fear of hurting women…oh, you think I'm four years old. Flynn thinks that, too."

Disappointed that Christian has got there without getting in touch with his emotions, Ana grimaces and says, "Well, we tried. Maybe another time, Christian."

Utterly confused, Christian says, "Why do I get the feeling that I've just failed your test?"

"Not a test, darling, and you've failed nothing. It's just that you were supposed to feel your way there, but you're too smart. Let's eat."

Christian reaches out and grabs Ana's hands, saying, "No, let's keep going."

There is nothing but sincerity in his eyes and Ana says, "Okay, Christian." Clasping his hands for strength, she somehow finds the courage to ask, "How did he bind you?"

Christian gasps and rocks back, dragging his hands from hers as he shakes his head. With a deep breath, he forces calm into his body, but can't keep the anger from his voice when he reveals, "He didn't have to. I was so scrawny that all he had to do was grasp both my hands in one of his and lift me off the ground to stub out his cigarette."

Struggling to breathe, Ana manages to gasp, "And the beatings?"

His voice like granite, Christian reveals, "When I screamed or cried, so I stopped doing either."

Shaking her head, flinging tears as she does so, Ana says, "No. How did he bind you for the beatings?"

Christian's jaw clenches and then he spits out, "Again, he didn't need to. He'd just drop me on the floor and put his foot on my back to keep me still while he removed his belt."

It's suddenly too much for Ana. She moves onto Christian's lap and buries her face in his neck as she says, "I'm sorry."

Christian embraces her and sadly says, "I don't see how it can possibly be your fault, sweetheart."

Her voice muffled, Ana says, "No, I'm sorry that I can't hear anymore."

Christian holds her a little tighter and says, "It's okay, babe, no one wants this shit in their head, least of all me. If it makes you feel better, I've had shrinks who didn't get that far with me."

"No, it doesn't."

They're quiet for a while and then Christian jokes, "Well, I think you should either feed me of fuck me, otherwise I might as well have stayed home."

Ana manages a weak laugh and then sits up, wiping the few tears from her face as she says, "Are you okay?"

Christian smiles and says, "Me? What about you?"

"I'm fine. I don't have PTSD." At his questioning look, Ana explains, "Ray. But he's okay now."

"Presumably you weren't his therapist?"

"No. And he never went into detail. But he explained what was going on so I would understand that none of his symptoms were my fault."

"He's a good man."

Finally able to smile, Ana says, "Yes, he is."

And then they're interrupted by the loud rumbling of Christian's stomach, making them both laugh and he says, "Looks like it had better be food."

Ana quickly kisses him before standing as she says, "You can assemble the antipasto platter while I do the rest."

Christian sheds his sweater, revealing a plain, white t-shirt and grins as he says, "I presume we'll be eating from the Top Ten of foods guaranteed to get your man in the mood?"

Struggling to think about anything other than Christian's chest, now only a thin layer of cotton away, Ana blushes and transfers items from the refrigerator to the counter as she says, "No. For one thing, you don't need any incentive and I, uh, did so much research that I just ended up confused." With a shrug, she continues, "In the end, I decided that the sexiest food is what tastes good."

Christian smiles and says, "You're very smart." And then he asks, "Research?"

Her mission accomplished, Ana fetches a large serving plate and says, "Uh, yeah. I surfed a few sites and watched some movie scenes."

"For future reference, did anything turn you on?"

Ana directs Christian, "Just arrange everything on the plate in whatever form pleases you." And then she explains, "No, not really. I mean, I could see why it was supposed to be sexy, I guess. But mostly I was either amused or grossed out."

Christian nods and says, "You would have no idea what it feels like. You barely eat and have only had sex with me." He suddenly nabs Ana's hand and, turning it over, traces her palm with his fingertips as he says, "But maybe you can imagine cupping a fresh oyster as it's juices drip between your fingers while I literally eat out of your hand."

Stunned at the power of her body's sudden, excruciating reaction to his suggestion, Ana can only stare at Christian, mouth agape, and then she gasps, "No oysters."

Christian smiles and embraces her, his erection pressing against her groin as he says, "Then perhaps you can envision reclining naked on your bed with your legs clenched tight together as I slowly pour champagne down your body so that it pools at the top of your thighs and then I greedily drink from the cup formed by your body."

Almost melting with desire, Ana begs, "Oh, God, please."

Christian chuckles and quickly kisses Ana, then releases her as he says, "So it's a pity your notes specify vanilla sex for this evening."

In the shock left by his sudden absence, Ana registers nothing for a second and then recovers enough to protest, "You're still a bastard, Grey."

Christian starts unwrapping packets of ham, salmon and cheese as he cheerfully declares, "And you remain an absolute delight, Anastasia." And then he asks, "So, what are we having, other than artfully arranged deli items?"

Ana is laying the strips of bacon over the vegetables from the oven as she says, "Uh, this is roast parsnips, leeks, apples and, obviously, bacon. The chicken is almost done and there's also chicory with blue cheese and walnut dressing as part of the appetizer." And then she exclaims, "Oh, the chicory."

Christian crosses to the refrigerator as he says, "That, I can do. Just wash it and break off leaves, right?"

Slightly surprised by his eagerness to please, Ana says, "Yes. This is fun."

Chicory in hand, Christian waits until Ana has put the roasting pan back in the oven before kissing the back of her neck and saying, "Yes, it is."

Ana leans back against him, reaching one hand up behind her to caress his hair as she says, "Christian we're approaching the threshold where I will lose my appetite for food altogether."

Christian wraps one arm around her waist, spreading his fingers wide across her belly as he murmurs against her neck, "Don't worry, baby, I won't let that happen. Though I do have one, risky suggestion; no cutlery."

Delighting in his touch, Ana says, "Sounds more risqué than risky."

Christian chuckles and says, "I was speaking of the risk of scalding, not inflaming your lust." His words trigger an understanding in Ana and she tenses at the thought. Of course, Christian notices and asks, "You okay?"

Stepping out of his arms, irrationally afraid that he literally can read her mind, Ana forces a smile and says, "Just hurry up with the chicory."

Apparently reassured, Christian smiles and says "Yes ma'am," before turning to wash the lettuce at the sink.

With trembling fingers, Ana quickly rolls up her cooking notes and lights the end, extinguishing the flame almost as soon as it appears. And then she blows on the embers of her improvised weapon and says, "Christian."

When he turns, she lunges at his chest with the "cigarette", turning the dangerous end away from him in midair, just in case he's not quick enough to stop her. But she needn't have bothered. In the moment it takes Ana to close on him, Christian's face registers shock, fear and pure rage. Ana is once again stunned at the speed with which he can move when he expertly blocks her arm, even as his open palm slams into her chest, pushing her back. She can't help a grunt as all the air is forced from her lungs and Christian is immediately by her side, saying, "Fuck, Ana, are you okay? I'm so sorry, but…what the fuck was that?"

Smiling her victory, it takes Ana a moment to catch her breath and then she says, "I win."

Shaking his head in confusion, Christian says, "Win what? What the fuck are you playing at, Ana?"

"Did you think that I was actually about to burn you with a cigarette?"

"What? No, of course not." When Ana only stares at him, he relents, "Okay, maybe for a second. You came at me like a banshee. I thought you'd gone insane."

"You thought that I was going to burn your chest with a cigarette and _still_ you didn't hurt me."

Shaking his head, Christian says, "So, what…you think you've cured me, or something?"

Adamantly shaking her head, Ana says, "No, darling, just a place to start. Are you okay? Do you need to call Flynn?"

Bringing himself under control with one, shuddering breath, Christian finds and extinguishes the improvised cigarette before daring to pick it up and put it in the trash, and then he says, "No, I'm fine." And then he takes Ana in his arms and declares, "Didn't I say that you're the bravest person I've ever met?"

Ana smiles and says, "Wait until you meet Christian Grey."

Amused, Christian says, "You don't think that I know who I am?"

Still smiling, Ana maintains, "I don't think you have the faintest idea."

Pulling her hard up against him, Christian asks, "So who is this holding you in his arms?"

Suddenly serious, Ana says, "A scared little boy."

Anger flares in Christian's eyes, but then Ana watches in fascination as it evaporates and he grins as he says, "I suppose you think that the fact I got angry just now kind of proves your point, huh?"

Suddenly feeling the urge to giggle, Ana says, "Yes. But thank you for playing."

Christian shakes his head and says, "This game of yours proves exactly why I can't risk getting angry with you. What if I'd really hurt you? I don't think that I'd forgive myself."

Ana shrugs and says, "This _game_ of mine proves that one of your biggest fears is unfounded. You're never going to lose control enough to hurt me."

Christian nods as he considers her words, and then says, "Perhaps, but Flynn is still going to need to talk to you again."

"Tell him to save his breath. I'm safer with you than with anyone."

Ana can't know what Christian sees in her eyes, but he holds her gaze for a second and says, "Okay, Ana, I'll tell him." And then he smiles and says, "Can we fuck now?"

Ana's giggle finally surfaces and then she sobers and says, "Sorry, no. Because I really want to caress your chest." She smiles kindly at his sudden unease and continues, "And that look right there in your eyes is why we need to wait a while before we can try that. You're still in shock."

"I'm fine, Ana."

"Christian, please. I don't have the energy to prove you wrong again today, and I'm hungry."

Christian studies her face for a second and then says, "Okay, babe. So, you're not angry with me?"

Incredulous, Ana says, "You're worried that…Christian, I just provoked you past all your limits and you've already forgiven me. Why would I be angry? Are you angry with me?"

"No, baby, I'm not. I know why you did it." And then Christian lifts Ana onto the counter and says, "And I think it's definitely time for appetizer." He pulls the antipasto platter closer to them and then stands between Ana's knees as he deftly rolls up a small slice of smoked salmon and offers it to her.

Overjoyed that Christian is choosing to stay playful, Ana parts her lips enough to accept the morsel and is thrilled at his sudden desire when her teeth graze his fingers. Once she's able to speak, she says, "Good. Thank you." And then she swallows and suggests, "Your turn?"

His eyes shining with pleasure, Christian rests his hands on Ana's thighs as he smiles and says, "Please."

After considering the platter for a moment, Ana cuts a sliver of cheddar small enough that Christian has to extend his tongue to accept it, which he does so willingly. Able to suppress a moan when his tongue touches her finger, Ana says, "I like this game much more than mine."

Christian laughs and says, "Me, too. Now close your eyes and open your mouth."

Ana closes her eyes as she says, "You know, I'm pretty sure my parents cautioned me against ever doing that."

His voice warm and deep, Christian says, "Just do as you're told."

* * *

Author's safety warning: Now, as one of my readers, you're clearly of superior intelligence. However, I feel the need to remind you that this is _fiction_, based on a fictional story, that was based on a fictional story. So, please, don't try anything like Ana's amateur attempt at therapy. Thanks, for reading.


	21. Chapter 21

Author's note: We may have a problem. Not sure why it didn't occur to me before, but a few of these chapters (including the next one, if I choose to continue) appear to violate the site's Rules & Guidelines; "MA" means something different in my country. The problem being that I'm a stickler for rules.

Hmm. Since writing the above have learned the term "lemon" and that the site is riddled with them. This is confusing.

-**Okay; solved. I'm just going to keep writing and hope for the best. It's pretty much my modus operandi anyway, so it might as well apply here as well. Thank you, for those who offered advice and/or support. Update soon.**

* * *

On the Rocks: Chapter Twenty-one

Ana complies, trying to guess what food will be next; prosciutto, cheddar, Havarti or perhaps an olive. The tangy flavor of her blue cheese dressing spreads across her tongue even as she realizes that it's covering Christian's finger. Her moan, as she greedily closes her mouth around him, is answered by the sound of air hissing past Christian's teeth and then his finger is gone and he's kissing her. His mouth seems like the world as he teases both her lips and tongue in turn. Already swept away by this simple affirmation of everything that is right between them, Ana almost can't stop herself from gently biting his bottom lip when it comes within range of her teeth. Christian plucks his lips from hers enough to groan, "Ana, please."

Ana's eyes fly open at the raw need in his voice. His face matches his voice; nothing but desire to be closer to her, and Ana wonders if it's really a choice when she grins and says, "Okay, but make it quick or the chicken will dry out."

Christian's expression changes to one of pure joy as he says, "I do prefer a juicy breast."

Ana quickly removes her apron and then reaches down to hitch up her skirt as she says, "You're wasting time that could be spent on fucking me, Grey."

With a fierce grin, Christian silently accepts her challenge. Reaching between her thighs to grasp the top of her panties, he pulls at them until the fabric surrenders, the slight sting as they strain at her hips fuelling Ana's passion and she moans again as he rips them from her. And then she breathlessly complains, "I'm going to need an underwear allowance."

Almost frantically unbuttoning his jeans, Christian says, "Shut up and hang on." Ana reaches behind her to find the raised breakfast bar, and he says, "No, baby, hang on to me."

Tentatively grasping his shoulders, Ana is reassured by Christian's warm smile and she exclaims, "Fuck, that's hot!"

Beaming his pleasure at her words, Christian says "Not quite," and shrugs her hands from him as he pulls the t-shirt over his head, discarding it along with the remnants of her panties. Her mouth open in shock, Ana can only stare as Christian takes her hands and replaces them on his shoulders, saying, "No wandering, okay?"

Praying that she'll be able to keep her promise, Ana vows, "Okay."

His scorching gaze fixed on hers, Christian slips his hands along the outside of her thighs, lifting her skirt and her body, until she's naked from the waist down. And then he rests her on the counter edge with his hands under her bottom and says, "Don't come. I've been doing research too." Ana is wondering what the hell kind of research he's talking about when Christian enters her, eliciting a moan of pleasure from both of them and Christian says, "God, you feel good. But I was serious, Ana; don't come."

Desperate for the feel of him moving inside her, Ana says, "Okay. Keep your shirt…" She giggles and continues, "Keep your shirt _off_, Grey. I'll do my best."

Apparently satisfied that she'll obey him, or past caring, Christian starts moving within her, quickly picking up the pace until, only seconds later, he holds himself deep inside her as his entire body tenses through a silent orgasm. His eyes are closed and Ana keeps herself removed from the exquisite experience by focusing on the feel of his shoulder muscles straining beneath her fingers, and his beautiful face, now expressing only bliss. After a few seconds, Christian opens his eyes and smiles on seeing that Ana is staring at him, then says, "Now that's what I call an appetizer. Thanks, babe, I needed that."

Ana grins and says, "Well, it's certainly whet my appetite. Sure you can fulfill your obligations for the final course, Grey?"

Christian kisses her and says, "You know I can." And then he withdraws from her body, even as he hitches up his jeans, and suggests, "How about you go change while I serve dinner?"

Grateful for the consideration, Ana nevertheless warily asks, "You know what you're doing?"

Christian buttons his jeans as he protests, "Hey, I can't cook worth a damn, but I know what cooked looks like." Ana's hands are still on Christian's shoulders and she's suddenly reluctant to move. Christian notices her reticence and warmly promises, "They'll still be there after we've eaten."

At that, Ana smiles and releases him, saying, "True. Thank you, for that. You've no idea how much it means to be able to touch you. It's all I've wanted to do since I met you."

With a knowing smile, Christian says, "Not quite all."

Ana giggles and says, "Well, no, I very much wanted you to touch _me_, as well."

Christian kisses her one more time before lifting her off the counter as he says, "And I will. Go get changed."

"Oh, I was going to have a quick shower?"

With the hint of a smile and one raised eyebrow, Christian says, "You're asking my permission?"

Only now realizing she'd been doing exactly that, Ana blushes and lies, "No, I just want you to time serving…" As the smile on Christian's face widens, she says "Oh, shut up," and leaves the room to his soft laughter.

After the quickest shower in history, Ana abandons her plan to get dressed up for the evening and opts for extreme casual wear. She enters the living area to see that Christian has ignored the dining table, instead covering the coffee table with food, placing cushions on the floor either side. He's nowhere in sight, so she calls out his name and hears an answer from behind the breakfast counter. When she heads towards the sound, it's to find a now fully clothed Christian on his knees, spray cleaner and paper towel in hand, wiping the floor. Ana's hands fly to her mouth in an effort to stifle an imminent giggling fit as Christian says, "Slight accident with the…" And then he looks up and exclaims, "Oh, God, that's your night shirt."

Still fighting the urge to giggle, Ana looks down at her WSU tee and says, "Yes. I didn't want to risk more underwear. I don't have your budget."

Abandoning the cleaning tools, with suddenly trembling hands, Christian says, "Come here. Mind your step."

Laughter still silently bubbling within her, Ana smiles and shakes her head, daring, "You come here."

Cheerfully accepting her challenge, Christian crosses the few feet between them on his knees. And then he rests his hands behind her ankles, staring up at Ana as his fingers leisurely ascend her legs, pausing to watch her reaction when he teases the backs of her knees. Ana is wondering how she's going to remain standing when Christian's hands pause at the hem of her tee where it reaches her thighs. He rests the side of his face against her clothed groin and his hands slide under the shirt to gently cup her buttocks as he says, "God, I could eat you for dinner and never feel hungry."

Ana's joyful laughter finally escapes and she entwines her fingers in Christian's hair as she says, "I thought you were saving me for dessert?"

Christian lifts his head away from her, staring at her groin as if he can see through cotton and then groans before saying, "Yes, but you're making it very difficult to wait that long."

When he then presses his mouth to her, pleasure pulses through Ana's body from the place where his lips touch her and she breathes, "Sorry."

It's even more exquisite when she feels Christian's resulting smile, and then he says "No, you're not," before nipping her through the material.

Ana pulls on his hair, tipping his head back, as she complains, "Hey! Not nice."

Unashamed, Christian smiles up at her as he says, "You're going to force me to have dinner while you sit opposite me wearing only a t-shirt. I'd say all bets are off."

Apparently unable to stop smiling, Ana releases Christian as she says, "Fair enough. Let's eat."

Also smiling, Christian stands as gracefully as his injured ankle will allow, then puts the paper towel in the trash and the cleaner in the cupboard under the sink before washing his hands. Ana watches him, pondering how it could have come to this; kinky billionaire philanthropist Christian Grey moving around her kitchen as if he does so every day. When he's done, Christian becomes aware of her stare and says, "What?"

Shaking her head at the wonder of it, Ana says, "I just…I've never felt so loved."

His face transformed with that joyful, boyish grin, Christian says, "Good." And then he gestures for Ana to precede him to dinner.

As they kneel either side of their meal, Ana asks, "So, this is Japanese dining?"

Christian shrugs and says, "Not particularly. I just wanted to be closer to you than the dining table would permit." He deftly tears off a strip of chicken with his fingers and holds it up in toast as he adds, "However; itadakimasu." At Ana's silent question, he translates, "I humbly receive."

Ana's constantly simmering passion flares at the words and she confesses, "Oh, I like that." And then she copies his gesture with a piece of chicken and permits the lust into her voice as she says, "I humbly receive."

An answering passion flares in Christian's eyes and he says, "I see what you mean." And then he shakes his head and points out, "Though you could read from the TV guide in that tone of voice and it would work on me."

Wondering how it's possible for her body to sustain such happiness, Ana laughs and says, "Maybe later."

They eat in silence for a while, staring at each other as if nothing else exists, and then Christian grins and asks, "Better than the internet?"

Having just stopped, mid-chew, as she'd fervently watched Christian apparently absentmindedly suck roast chicken juice from his fingers, Ana swallows and says, "Much. You were doing that on purpose?" When he only smiles, Ana nervously pleads, "You won't laugh if I try that?"

Christian's eyes widen in surprise and then he smiles and says, "I seriously doubt it."

His promise lending her courage, Ana chooses a parsnip wedge and dips it in the juices at the bottom of the roasting pan, then sucks the gravy from it before biting it in half. By then Christian's lips are parted slightly and his breathing is accelerated. So Ana smiles and says, "I would think that the biting would be a turn-off for a guy, but you didn't seem to mind."

Christian shakes his head as if to clear his thoughts and says, "No. No, I don't mind at all." And then he picks up a vegetable strip and copies Ana's movements of coating it before offering it to her. Staring straight into Christian's eyes, Ana licks the gravy from the morsel and then bites it from his hand, deliberately grazing his fingertips as she does so. Again, the air hisses past Christian's teeth and then he breathes out heavily and says, "I'm possibly biased, but you have an incredible natural talent for seduction, Miss Steele."

Ana swallows, smiles and says, "Considering how many women you've been with, I'd say that you must have some talent yourself, Mr. Grey."

Frowning slightly in confusion, Christian says, "You're not even a bit jealous, are you?"

Ana shrugs and says, "If any of them were still in the picture it could get ugly. But, no, they had their chance and you're mine now."

Seemingly proud of her for the statement, Christian beams his pleasure at Ana and says, "Yes, I am. And _you_ are mine."

Gaining confidence with every second, Ana dips her index finger in the gravy and offers it to Christian, echoing, "Yes, I am."

His eyes locked on hers, Christian opens his mouth to accept her offering, unable to stifle a moan of pleasure as his lips close around her. Nabbing her wrist, Christian holds her in place as he sucks her finger dry and then turns his attention to the rest of her hand, gently tracing the contours of her palm with the tip of his tongue, sending shivers of pleasure up her arm, before he nips the fleshy pad at the base of her thumb and says, "I think dinner's over."

Ana's voice fails her at first, so she clears her throat and then manages, "Okay."

Suddenly nervous, Christian reveals, "Uh, I'll have to leave the ankle brace on; not very sexy, but spraining it again would be even less so."

Ana springs to her feet and steps around the coffee table, offering Christian two helping hands as she says, "That's okay, old man, we'll manage."

The only warning Ana has is that Christian's mask of indifference appears as he accepts her offer of assistance. Suspicious, but unafraid, Ana only realizes what he's up to when his vice-like grip closes around her wrists and she's falling forward. Christian catches Ana as she yelps her surprise, and then he holds her in place across his lap with one hand on the back of her neck as he says, "What did you call me, Miss Steele?"

Pleasure coursing through her body at his dangerous tone, Ana stifles her giggle as she says, "Uh…alderman; a term of respect for a high-ranking official?"

Even as she finishes the sentence, one of Christian's hands is sliding her t-shirt up, exposing her buttocks to the air, and he gently caresses her as he huskily says, "I don't think so."

When his hand suddenly leaves her body, Ana braces for the impact and manages not to cry out as Christian's palm descends on her. Resisting the instinctive urge to reach back and protect her butt, Ana takes a moment for the pleasurable shock waves to recede, as Christian again tenderly caresses her assaulted flesh. And then she says, "Uh…on demand? I was referring to your ever-readiness for sex. It's a compliment."

Ana can hear the laughter in Christian's voice when he says, "I think you're still lying to me, Miss Steele."

This time, with her nerves already aflame from the first strike, Ana can't stifle a yelp of pain and pleasure. She feels Christian's hand at the back of her neck ease, even as he immediately soothes the site of the blow and she guesses that he's still nervous about hurting her, but she's enjoying herself too much to stop, so she quickly says, "Agamemnon."

Clearly amused, Christian continues his caress as he asks, "Agamemnon?"

Nodding emphatically as best she can, Ana says, "Because you're like a Greek god."

"Are you going to tell me the truth, or do I have to beat it out of you?"

Wondering how her body can react with trembling fear, when her rational mind knows that his words are an empty threat, Ana's muscles clench in terrified pleasure as she says, "You're going to have to beat it out of me, Sir."

Christian's hand stills for a second and then he groans as if in pain and says, "God, Ana, you truly will be the death of me." Without warning, he lifts Ana off his lap. Confused and a little dizzy, she kneels beside him, searching his face for clues as to his sudden change of heart. With a sheepish grin, Christian confesses, "I'm sorry, babe. But, if we keep going with this game, I'll be done before we get to dessert."

Satisfied that he's not disappointed in her, Ana beams at him and says, "So, I win again?"

Trusting her to support him, Christian leans a hand on Ana's shoulder as he struggles to his feet and says, "Yes, you're very clever. Now, are you going to fuck me, or not?"

Taking advantage of his offered hand to get to her feet and stand before him, Ana says, "I'm going to fuck you, Mr. Grey."


	22. Chapter 22

Author's note: I've already replied where possible, but need to publicly express my gratitude to anyone who offered support and/or advise over my concerns about the ratings issue. Several of you have shared how my few words have had a positive impact on your life. So I've decided to leave the matter up to the censor gods.

However, if you know that you're too young to be reading this story, please find something better to do with your precious time, or risk living a life with nothing worth writing about.

* * *

On the Rocks: Chapter Twenty-two

When Ana retains hold of Christian's hand and leads him towards her bedroom, he follows like a man with no will of his own. As they pass the bathroom door, Ana asks, "Need a wee pause?" When Christian only smiles and shakes his head, they continue to her room. Once there, Ana lets go of his hand and says, "Uh, so how are we going to do this?"

With a slight smile, Christian says, "We're playing by your rules tonight, Miss Steele." Suddenly unsure of herself, Ana is still immobile when his thumb brushes across half of her bottom lip, immediately making Ana release the other half from her teeth, and then Christian says, "What is it? You were fine last time we were in this room; quite demanding, as I recall."

Ana shrugs and says, "It's different."

Sudden understanding suffuses Christian's face and he says, "You won't hurt me, baby, we'll make sure of it."

Only at his words does Ana realize that she's still afraid of touching his chest as part of foreplay, even though she's practically done so before, but without actually moving onto the main event. Sighing away all her concerns, Ana smiles and says, "Last one naked has to load the dishwasher."

Ana's t-shirt is already above her shoulders when Christian grabs her, saying, "Oh, no you don't."

Her head and arms lost inside her shirt, Ana can only shriek in protest as Christian unceremoniously dumps her on the bed. Still effectively blind, Ana struggles futilely as Christian flips her onto her stomach, trapping her arms beneath her body with a hand on her back. A few seconds later he flips Ana over and uncovers her face enough to trap both her wrists in one hand. His chest is bare, but Ana guesses from his furrowed brow that he's unsure how to proceed and she threatens, "I _will_ struggle."

Passion flares in Christian eyes and he grins as he says, "Go ahead."

So Ana does exactly that, thrashing around for all she's worth as she strains against Christian's grip. All the while, he kicks off his shoes and struggles to removes his jeans one-handed, only to exclaim "Fuck," as Ana breaks free and rolls away from him. With the bed now between them, and Christian still wearing jeans, boxers and socks, Ana beams her victory at him as she slowly lifts her t-shirt up her body. She deliberately pauses when the roll of fabric is just below her breasts, relishing the resulting look of rapt desire on Christian's face. When she then exposes only her nipples, Christian groans and again says, "Fuck."

Just for a second, Ana wonders if Christian can get to her while she's again temporarily blinded by the shirt, but then decides that not even his reflexes are that good and smiles again, confident of victory, as she says, "Looks like you're on dishes, Grey."

"Playtime!" When Ana freezes in shock, Christian quickly adds, "Don't move a muscle."

"What?"

"You heard me. Stay exactly as you are."

Silently cursing the moment of weakness that led to her conceding so much, Ana groans, "Yes, Sir."

Now assured of victory, Christian quickly divests himself of the rest of his clothes, leaving only the skin-tight ankle brace. And then he peels back the bedcovers and lies down, hands behind his head, as he smugly says, "I release you."

Ana knows that she should be furious at him for such tactics, but Christian is naked on her bed, already halfway to an impressive erection and looks so happy that she settles for finally removing her t-shirt and throwing it at him as she accuses, "Bastard."

Christian laughs as the ball of cotton whizzes harmlessly by him and says, "After the stunt you just pulled? I don't think you get to accuse anyone, Miss Steele." And then he grins and quotes, "And you're wasting time that could be spent on fucking me."

With any lingering fear of hurting Christian almost a memory, Ana kneels beside him, just drinking in the sight of him for a few seconds, before asking, "You're sure?"

Without hesitation, Christian says, "I'm sure." And then he looks towards his not quite erect penis and says, "It'll take some doing, but I want to start inside you."

"Is that the research you spoke of?"

"No. There's a position we can try, when you're done playing with my chest. It's supposed to be particularly good for the woman, so I thought…" At Ana's apparent distress, Christian asks, "What's wrong?"

Almost in tears, Ana says, "You've been researching vanilla sex."

Suddenly embarrassed, Christian confesses, "Well, yeah. It's not my area of expertise, so…please don't cry, Ana, or my dick will disappear altogether."

Shaking her head to banish the tears, Ana says, "Not crying; just glad that you're my boyfriend."

Apparently reassured, Christian grins and says, "Well, that sounds like a good thing." And then he pouts and complains, "And yet, I remain unmolested."

Ana laughs at his playful mood, even as her desire flares at the sight of his gorgeous lips in that shape, and she straddles him, saying, "Something like this was what you had in mind?"

Adjusting the hands behind his head, so that he can more easily watch her every move, Christian says, "Yes, a lot like that."

With Christian's only semi-rigidity making the task a little challenging, Ana manages to join their bodies together, prompting a sigh of pleasure from both of them, and then rests her splayed hands on his belly as she says, "So, what's your plan with this?"

Smiling as if he's never had a care in the world, Christian says, "No plan. But, given my reaction last time you kissed my chest, I thought it might be fun to be inside you for this repeat performance."

When he then clenches his muscles enough that Ana feels the result deep inside her, she smiles and exclaims, "Oh. Yes, I see…feel what you mean. Good plan." And then she nervously sucks on her bottom lip before asking, "Uh…so, you've never been bound?"

Sudden fear in his eyes, Christian says, "No. Not even by…no."

"There is no wrong answer, okay? But, how do you feel about gripping the bedhead, as if you're bound?"

Still wary, Christian says, "Why?"

Suddenly unsure of herself, Ana shakes her head and says, "Look, let's just forget it. I don't want to ruin…"

Christian interrupts with his hands on Ana's forearms and repeats, "Why?"

"I, uh, want to understand it better…understand _you_ better. And, uh…" When Christian only patiently waits, Ana sighs and continues, "Sometimes you're restrained in my dreams and it's kind of hot."

Apparently relieved, Christian smiles and says, "We really need to put aside time for a _long_ discussion about these dreams of yours. And what happened to vanilla?"

Supremely confident, Ana says, "Christian, I think we both knew this evening was never going to be one hundred percent vanilla."

With a grin, Christian nods and says, "Pass me my t-shirt."

Curious, Ana does so and watches, fascinated and increasingly turned on, as Christian improvises a pair of cotton handcuffs from the shirt and hitches himself to the crossbar of Ana's bedhead. Shaking her head in wonder at the unfamiliar, powerful feelings, Ana says, "Wow! That's…wow." And then she grins lasciviously and leans forward, a hand either side of Christian's torso and asks, "So, you can't escape?"

Playing along, Christian flexes the material in an apparent effort to free himself and promises, "Nope."

Reaching as far up his arms as she can, Ana draws her hands towards Christian's body, following the contours of his muscles, as she says, "Good."

When her fingers reach his armpits, Ana notices the flinch and lingers there, ruffling the hairs and teasing his flesh, until Christian exclaims, "Hey! That tickles."

With a grin, Ana says, "It's meant to. Playtime is intended for mutual pleasure, not so spoiled, rich brats can get out of their chores."

Squirming under her light torture, Christian protests, "And you sitting on my dick while you tickle me is a gross abuse of power."

Laughing in pure joy at his willingness to play, Ana continues her caress down Christian's ribs. She's almost to his hips when he again flinches and she says, "Oh, so you're ticklish _here_, too."

As her fingers still, Christian growls and warns, "Ana."

Unconcerned, Ana says, "You're bound, right? You couldn't escape, even if you wanted to?"

With a groan, Christian vows, "Not even if I wanted to. But, for pity's sake, go easy on me. I've never loaded a dishwasher in my life, so I couldn't let you win."

Beaming her gratitude at him, Ana explores his ribs, searching for sensitive patches of flesh and delighting in watching her domineering boyfriend squirm, until she suddenly realizes the effect of all this play; Christian's erection growing inside her. With a sigh of pleasure, she sits up straight and closes her eyes as she says, "God, you feel good."

Out of breath from being subjected to Ana's questing fingertips, Christian recovers enough to say, "So do you. I'm glad we don't have to bother with condoms anymore." When Ana starts slowly grinding against him, Christian protests, "Hey! Aren't you forgetting something?"

As if coming out of a trance, Ana opens her eyes and looks at him, saying, "Sorry. You're very distracting." Again placing a hand either side of his chest, Ana prompts, "One thing you love about me?"

Christian smiles his pleasure at her suggestion and says, "I love that you're no longer satisfied with vanilla sex."

Ana laughs, pure joy suffusing her being, as she says, "I'm not sure that I ever was. There must be a reason why you're the only man I've ever been attracted to. But I'd be willing to consider vanilla on occasion for you, Mr. Grey." And then she keeps her gaze fixed on Christian's for as long as possible while she bends down and plants a tender kiss on one of his scars. Other than a hiss of surprise, his only reaction occurs inside Ana, sending waves of pleasure through her body, and she moans before saying, "God, Christian, I'm not going to last very long if you keep doing that."

Christian laughs and says, "Baby, I swear to you, that one wasn't a conscious act."

"Conscious or not, at this rate I'm going to finish well before you do."

With a grin, Christian says, "Then perhaps today's lesson is about _your_ control. If you can manage to keep your reactions to a minimum, I promise that you won't regret the effort."

"How?"

"Well, there're techniques requiring muscle control and some training. I'll send you some links later. For now, try and take your time and focus on relaxing." With a grin, Christian admits, "It's probably a good idea, anyway, as this is still pretty damn intense for me and I am an old man, after all."

Ana smiles at this reminder of their earlier game and says, "True; wouldn't want you to have a heart attack before I'm finished with you." And then she grins and adds, "Your turn, Grey."

Christian considers for a second and says, "I love that you submit to punishment." This time Ana singles out a scar and pushes the few hairs from it with her fingertips before touching the tip of her tongue to the site and feeling the contours of the puckered flesh. Christian shudders, moans and utters, "God, Ana, that's amazing."

Sitting up straight and taking a moment to calm her breathing, Ana then says, "You can feel that?"

Releasing some of his tension in one, long breath, Christian explains, "Not right on the scar. I guess the nerves are shot. But immediately around it, yes, I can feel your tongue." And then he grins and says, "And, if you keep doing that, I don't think you'll have to worry about finishing before I do."

"You don't know the…did you say muscle techniques?"

With a self-assured smile, Christian says, "Close enough and, yes, I know them. Though being with you makes even that difficult."

Ana smile is just as smug as she says, "Because you lose control?"

"Somewhat of an understatement, but yes."

Suddenly serious, Ana says, "You seem okay. How do you feel?"

"Other than horny as hell, I feel fine."

"Good, because we're about to find out if you can tolerate me caressing your nipples."

Christian moans in anticipation and says, "Oh, fuck, please."

Ana giggles and says, "Begging is a good look on you, Christian."

Deadpan, Christian lies, "I never beg."

Ana giggles and says, "Sure, you don't." And then she rests her hands on his abdomen and says, "You're in control, okay?"

With a gentle smile, Christian says, "No, I'm not." At Ana's confusion, he reminds her, "_We're_ in control, sweetheart."

Her breath hitches at the affection in Christian's voice and then, on instinct, Ana says, "No more talking, okay? And shut your eyes."

With a blissful smile, Christian closes his eyes. Ana rests her hands on his abdomen, avoiding the ticklish areas as she caresses her way to the hair on his chest. By then Christian is breathing faster, his lips parted slightly, and Ana knows how much he's enjoying the attention from the increased feeling of fullness within her. Concentrating on calming her breathing, Ana forces her limbs to relax and then focusses on Christian as she hesitantly brushes his already erect nipples with her thumbs. At the contact, Christian gasps and his eyes fly open. Worried that it's too much for him, Ana is reassured when he chuckles and says "Sorry, babe, another first," before closing his eyes.

Struggling to keep her own pleasure from spiraling out of control, Ana again touches Christian's nipples. This time he sighs but his eyes remain closed. It's soon obvious that, while he's enjoying the attention, it does not have the same effect as when he teases Ana's nipples. Curious, Ana tries a few things, copying what she's learned from him. But it's only when she drags her fingernails down his chest and across the tiny, eager buds that Christian's body bucks and he says, "Fuck, do that again."

Sliding her hands towards his shoulders, Ana smiles and says, "What's the magic word?"

A slight smile on his face, Christian manages to keep his eyes closed as he answers, "Now."

Dragging her nails down his chest again, Ana marvels at how his whole body writhes beneath her as he luxuriates in the sensual feel of her hard nails against his soft flesh. This time, when her fingernails scrape over his nipples, Christian moans and says only, "Harder."

Both of them now panting with the need for more, Ana quickly does as ordered and almost can't keep from tipping over into an orgasm when the bed creaks as Christian's arms strain against his improvised bonds, and she says, "Christian, I can't…I'm going to come any second."

Eyes still closed, Christian says, "Baby, so long as you keep doing that, I don't give a fuck."

Overjoyed that their experiment is going so well, Ana laughs and says, "What about your homework?"

Christian opens his eyes at that and says, "Oh, yeah." Without freeing his arms, he directs Ana until she's astride one of his hips, with his knees bent and still deep inside her, and then he says, "How's that?"

"How is this better?"

Christian smiles and says, "It's not yet. Just move around a little and you'll get the idea."

Wondering how this seemingly awkward position is an improvement, Ana keeps her hands on Christian's chest, essentially feeling her way. And then she finds it, the spot where everything changes and suddenly it's all about her and she breathes, "Oh."

Eyes half closed, his own release not far away, Christian hisses, "Yes."

Blindly reaching one hand behind her, as she grinds against Christian's hip, Ana encounters his bent leg and grasps his thigh, unconsciously digging her fingers into his tender flesh as her other hand continues its sensual torment of his nipples. Within seconds, Ana cries out as pleasure explodes within her, pulsing outwards from her clitoris in great waves of ecstasy, until she collapses against Christian's chest for a few seconds. And then says, "Top marks for your homework, Mr. Grey."

Ana knows that Christian has freed himself when his arms enfold her as he says, "I'm glad you liked it, but we're not nearly done, baby."

A little drained, but curious, Ana lifts her head to look at him and asks, "More positions?"

Smiling at her eagerness, Christian says, "Most of them will have to wait until the ankle improves, I'm afraid. Sit up."

Ana has barely complied before Christian's thumbs are on her still throbbing clit and, only seconds later, she screams as another, more intense orgasm rips through her, leaving her weak and trembling as she again collapses against Christian's chest and eventually says, "Oh, God, you're trying to kill me with orgasms, aren't you?"

Christian laughs, the effect felt inside Ana, and then he says, "No, baby, just finding your limits."

Ana's eyes fly open and she says, "How many of these can I take?"

"That's the point, baby, I've no idea. But, if you're still willing, we're about to find out."

"If I'm willing? You're asking for permission to make me come again?"

Christian smiles and says, "I guess so. What do you say, baby, up for another orgasm or ten?"

Ana's eyes nearly pop out of her head and she exclaims, "Ten?"

Christian shrugs and says, "Maybe more, though yours are pretty intense, so I doubt it."

Ana considers for a second and then says, "Okay, but I prefer being astride both your hips."

Christian frowns and says, "I thought this worked pretty well for you?"

"Oh, it did, and thank you, for that. But I haven't finished with your chest yet, and I can more easily reach it…"

Ana hasn't finished explaining before Christian manipulates both their bodies until she's once again astride his hips and then he places her hands on his chest as he cheerfully says, "Anything for you, babe."

Suddenly desperate for a closer connection, Ana reaches her arms behind Christian's neck and, inches from his face, she says, "You are truly noble, Mr. Grey."

With a lazy, contented smile, Christian says, "You're welcome, Miss Steele." And then he's suddenly serious as he declares, "I love you."

Something better than pleasure thrills within Ana and she feels almost as if she's drowning in happiness when her lips find his. At first tender, the kiss soon intensifies until Christian's teeth almost lovingly bite Ana's bottom lip, pushing her well on the way to her next orgasm. Her imagination ignites along with her body and she returns her attention to his nipples, there to tease him with her tongue and teeth, even as she starts gliding up and down the length of him. When Christian cries out in pleasure and his dick spasms within her, Ana pants and trembles through yet another orgasm, less intense this time. And then she groans and says, "How did I live without this for so long?"

Almost lost to ecstasy, Christian's eyes are again closed as he gasps, "No fucking idea. But I'm glad you did." And then he pushes Ana's shoulders until she's sitting up straight and commands, "Touch yourself." When Ana hesitantly slides her hands towards her breasts, he smiles and says, "No, they're mine."

Suddenly self-conscious, Ana says, "Christian, you know that just doesn't do it for me."

Still smiling, Christian gently commands, "Then do it for _me_, instead."

A little more confident, Ana splays her hands either side of her groin and says, "You like watching me do this?"

His gaze transfixed by her hands as they edge towards the triangle of hair between her legs, Christian says, "Baby, most men and quite a few of the women would envy me this view."

As if in proof of his words, Christian's dick spasms inside Ana when she deliberately takes her bottom lip between her teeth as she slides one hand between her legs to caress him, and then she exclaims, "God, you're still hard, but…?"

Struggling to remain calm enough for conversation, Christian says, "Yes, I had an orgasm just now. That's the exercises I was talking about. We're going slow enough that I'm able to retain some control today." As Ana's questing fingers wrap around the base of his shaft, he adds, "Though, if you keep doing that, I'll be done for."

Fascinated, Ana eases off and asks, "So, how long can you keep this up, if you'll forgive the pun?"

"Uh, with this sort of stimulation, it would be a real effort after forty-five minutes. Other times, as you know, I can be done in seconds."

"And, if we're not joined like this?"

Christian smiles and says, "Since meeting you, I often have a hard-on all day and wake up with one in the morning."

"Not really all day?"

"No, baby, only when you're nearby, or I've just talked to you or I'm thinking of you."

Ana laughs and says, "So, pretty much constantly, then."

Christian grins and says, "Like I said."

Delighted to know that she has so much power over him, Ana is again confident as she says, "I believe you laid claim to my breasts, Mr. Grey?"

Nodding towards her groin, Christian says, "After you, Miss Steele."

Fascinated and delighted with how much Christian can enjoy watching her pleasure herself, Ana wonders if she shares the same passion. Just imagining Christian stroking himself fuels her passion and she begins to lose herself in the feel of her fingertips on her clit, closing her eyes as Christian's hands begin a torturous caress of her breasts. Given her inexperience, it takes a little while. But a couple of minutes later Ana sighs through another orgasm that pulses on for several seconds. Opening her eyes as she comes down off the high, Ana sees Christian gazing at her with only love, his hands now resting casually on her thighs. She smiles shyly and says, "Well, that wasn't too bad."

Christian chuckle and says, "Not too bad at all."

Having honestly lost track, Ana says, "How many is that?"

"If we count my appetizer; two for me, and four to you."

"So, I'm winning?"

Christian smiles at that and says, "Well, technically, yes. But I really don't think there are any losers in this room." And then he asks, "One more?"

Ana considers and says, "Okay, but then I'll have to move; my legs are jelly. I've started running in the morning, so I can keep up with you, but my leg muscles…" At the flicker of guilt on Christian's face, she realizes that he already knows about her new exercise regimen and says, "Not Sawyer or Ryan. I would have seen them." When Christian only shakes his head, Ana decides to punish him for his secrecy and asks, "The cute guy with the watch cap?"

"Cute guy? No."

Pretending to consider for a moment, Ana says, "Oh, I know; the really buff guy who always jogs topless?"

Clearly uncomfortable, Christian says, "Where the hell are you running, Ana?"

Genuinely surprised, Ana says, "You don't know?"

"No."

"Even though you're having me followed by one of your burly minions?"

"They report when you're out of the house. But I'm trying to give you some space, so I don't ask for more details and _Rachel_ Prescott is not that burly, just very adept at covert protection."

"She must be. I didn't spot her. Is she outside now?"

"No, just Jason this evening. You're not angry?"

Ana grinds against Christian for a second as she says, "Not enough to do anything about it while we're like this. But you need to tell me this stuff, Grey. I'm not a child and I've agreed to a security detail. Why didn't you tell me?"

Christian shrugs and says, "I'm not sure. I guess...though I acknowledge the necessity, some part of me still rebels against twenty-four hour protection and I think that I just wanted you to have some illusion of freedom for as long as possible." Satisfied that Ana isn't angry with him, Christian says, "How about you be the little spoon and rest your legs?"

Delighted with his choice, Ana says, "Yes, Sir."

At Ana's obvious struggle to move, Christian says, "You're really sore. Why didn't you say something?"

As she collapses on her side, facing him, Ana says, "It didn't hurt until I tried to move my legs."

Concerned, Christian tenderly kisses her and says, "Want to call it a night?"

Ana only grins and turns away from him as she says, "And waste that glorious erection?"

Christian chuckles, kisses Ana's shoulder and then says, "Brace yourself, Miss Steele, I'm going in."

Ana giggles and says, "I hope so."

When the tip of his erection is resting at her already sensitive and very moist entrance, Christian reaches an arm around to caress both her breasts as he puts his lips by Ana's ear to whisper, "Hard, or gentle?"

Her body already aflame at the feel, smell and sound of him enveloping her, Ana moans and says, "I think we've had enough of gentle."

Interspersed with kisses along her neck and shoulder as he stimulates both her nipples at once, Christian says, "Beg me."

Almost peaking already, just knowing what's about to happen, Ana says, "Please, Sir, fuck me."

"How?"

"Hard. Fuck me hard, just how I like it." As those words leave her lips, Ana knows that it's the literal truth. But she doesn't have time to ponder it, because Christian slams into her body, forcing a strangled cry from her throat. And then he almost completely withdraws before thrusting into her again, grunting with pleasure and effort. He sets up a frantic rhythm, pushing Ana through a quick orgasm and eliciting another scream from her, but he doesn't stop. Only when Ana's muscles clench in ecstasy for the sixth time tonight does Christian finally still, clutching her to him and around him as he finds release. It's several seconds before either of them can contemplate moving, and then Ana only moves enough to reach one hand up to caress Christian's hair as she says, "Please tell me you're done now."

Gently withdrawing from her, Christian laughs and then pulls the covers up over both of them as he says, "Yes, baby, I'm done. Looks like six is your limit."

Ana turns to face Christian, snuggling against him as he lies down, and says, "Actually, I could have stopped at five, but you kept on going."

"Sorry. I did warn you that I lose control where you're concerned."

Resting one hand against his chest, Ana says, "I'm not sorry. I am however very tired. You're staying?"

"Yes, baby, if you still want me to."

"Well, that depends, are you going to help me load the dishwasher?"

With a groan of apparent pain, Christian complains, "You drive a hard bargain, Miss Steele, but okay." Before Ana knows what he's planning, Christian slides his hand down her body and smacks her ass, saying, "Come on, then you can sleep."

* * *

Carrick and Grace are getting ready for bed when she gets a text. At first concerned, on seeing that it's from Ana, Grace quickly reads it and feels the tears brimming as one hand flies to her mouth in an effort to contain her emotions. Immediately concerned, Carrick asks, "What's wrong, love?"

Unable to voice her happiness, as the moisture runs unheeded down her cheeks, Grace simply offers him the phone. Carrick quickly comes around the bed and takes it from her to read, "Thought you'd like to know that your son has very ticklish ribs, and I love him beyond any hope of redemption. Thank you, for Christian."


	23. Chapter 23

On the Rocks: Chapter Twenty-three

Having sneaked the text to Grace while she used the bathroom, Ana then returns her phone to the bedroom and joins Christian in the living area, to find him standing in the kitchen, wearing only jeans, scrolling through something on his phone. He's standing at the open dishwasher and Ana makes an intuitive leap, saying, "You're searching how to load a dishwasher, aren't you?"

Christian doesn't look up, but the tips of his ears redden as he says, "Are you going to help me, or not?"

Ana grins and folds her arms as she says, "Not. If your vanilla research is anything to go by, you'll do a better job than I can."

Returning the phone to the back pocket of his jeans, Christian says, "Whilst I appreciate your faith in me, why don't you just show me what to do, so we can get back to bed?"

Ana nods and fetches a roll of Saran wrap, handing it to Christian as she says, "Excellent point, Mr. Grey. How about you wrap the food and put it away while I take care of the dishes?"

Christian accepts the roll and quickly kisses her before saying, "I can do that, thank you."

As Ana gets to work, she says, "How did you get to twenty-seven years of age without knowing this stuff?"

With a shrug, Christian says, "Grace and Carrick have a housekeeper."

"And they never made you do chores?"

"Of course; from the age of ten, anyway. But they let us choose."

Pausing to consider for a moment, Ana ponders aloud, "Something outside that would ensure you're alone, and be a good outlet for anger…does anything in that home require firewood?"

Christian looks at her and says, "Seriously, babe, how do you do that?"

"I'm right?"

"Yeah." And then Christian grins and says, "So, if you ever need wood, I'm your man."

Ana laughs and says, "Well, I already knew that, Christian." And then she frowns and says, "You were using an axe at ten?"

"The gardener supervised my efforts until I could safely be left alone. He'd let me help out around the grounds, too."

"I bet he loved you."

"The gardener? I don't think so. He barely spoke to me."

"An intensely serious ten-year old Christian Trevelyan-Grey throwing himself into the task of learning how to use an axe? I bet he misses you to this day."

"He _was_ incredibly patient with me. I'd assumed he'd been ordered to put up with me." They work in silence for a while and then Christian says, "I think that I'll say hello next time I'm at the house."

"He's still there?"

Christian laughs at that and says, "Can you imagine Grace ever firing anyone? I bet they have exactly the same servants as when I joined the family."

Trying to picture it, Ana says, "It must have seemed like another world to you."

"So much so that I couldn't trust it for a long time. I constantly expected to be yanked back into reality at any second." They're again quiet as they work and then Christian says, "Not much fun to think about, is it?"

"No. But I'm grateful for any information about you."

Having accomplished his task, Christian leans against the counter to watch Ana as he says, "Favorite subject?"

Ana shuts the dishwasher and starts the cycle then steps into Christian's ready embrace, resting her hands on his bare chest as she says, "Something like that."

Christian kisses her and says, "You're mine, too…well, you and aviation, obviously."

Ana smiles at that and then says, "Do you know, I think we got through an entire day without an argument."

Christian considers for a few seconds and then says, "I think you're right. Is that a first for us?"

"I think it might be."

"Maybe a special night tomorrow, to celebrate?" At Ana's look, Christian says, "You're busy."

"I forgot to tell you earlier, sorry. But I've promised to spend some time with Kate before the weekend."

Visibly disappointed, Christian sighs and says, "Okay, babe." And then he forces a smile and asks, "Can I borrow your toothbrush? I forgot mine."

Ana reaches her hands up over Christian's shoulders and kisses him well enough to express her gratitude for his gracious acceptance before saying, "Thank you, darling."

Christian's eyes flare with sudden desire and he slides his hands down her back to tease the bare flesh just below the hem of her t-shirt as he says, "Yes, I definitely like it when you call me that."

Ana laughs and pushes against his chest as she backs out of the embrace, saying, "Oh, no. Not again. Teeth brushing and then sleep." Christian only laughs and releases her.

They're heading for the bathroom when Christian's phone beeps a message alert. His expression darkens on reading it and then he says, "Fuck. I'm sorry, babe, but it looks like your days of relative anonymity are over." At her confusion, he explains, "Taylor noticed someone scouting the place." When Ana eyes widen in fear, he quickly adds, "Just a reporter, and he's already got rid of them. But they'll be back and there'll be more of them."

Struggling to process this information and the possible ramifications, Ana asks, "Got rid of them?"

Christian smiles and says, "They're not sleeping with the fishes, if that's what you're worried about. He called the police and had them apprehended."

Confused, Ana says, "The police obey you, too?"

Christian laughs and says, "No. Not even I'm rich enough for that, though a sizeable annual donation to the widows and orphans fund probably doesn't hurt. They know Taylor and don't appreciate anyone hounding me."

"Because you're Christian Grey?"

"Because I'm a respected, successful and generous member of the community."

As Ana tries, against the odds, to imagine what her life will be like with reporters following her, Christian's expression darkens still further and he leans against the corridor wall with his hands behind his back as if restraining himself, so Ana asks, "Are you upset with me?"

Christian has to clear his throat before saying, "No, babe. But you're biting your lip and wearing only a t-shirt."

It's exactly what Ana needs to erase all her concerns and she smilingly says, "God, Grey, you're insatiable."

Reassured, Christian steps forward to embrace Ana, lifting the t-shirt enough to rest his hands on her butt as he says, "Not actually. There must have been at least twenty minutes tonight when I wasn't contemplating fucking you."

Resting her hands against his chest and relishing that simple contact, Ana says, "Twenty whole minutes, huh? While we were clearing?"

Christian's eyes sparkle as he says, "Uh, no; strangely, you bending over to load the dishwasher did _not_ dampen my ardor. If the Saran wrap hadn't proved so obstinate, I would probably have taken you on the kitchen counter again." And then Christian is suddenly serious when he asks, "You're okay, about the press?"

Ana considers for a moment and then says, "No. But I know it's not your fault. And I'm guessing that there's no way around it?"

With a sad smile, Christian says, "If there were, I would have found it by now. I'm so sorry, babe. I would gladly give up my last cent to spare you this ordeal, if I thought it would make a difference. But, if you follow their instructions, the team will protect you from the worst of it."

Ana nods her understanding and then something occurs to her and she asks, "What about jogging?" At Christian's apologetic shrug, she says, "Oh, well, I don't really enjoy it, anyway."

Visibly relieved, Christian says, "Thanks. You can use the gymnasium at Escala any time, or my home gym. Oh, and did you still want to meet Claude, for a workout? He can come here, or you can meet him at my apartment. And we need to get serious about security, so we'll have to schedule time for a briefing with you and the team."

Suddenly weary, Ana leans against Christian's chest and says, "I'm feeling needy. Can we just go to bed?"

Without a word, Christian lifts Ana in his arms and carries her to bed. Once they're under the covers and in each other's arms he says, "Are you going to fight me on this? Because it's your safety we're talking about here. So, if you start a fight, it's going to be a big one."

Her head on his shoulder and one hand on his chest, Ana says, "No, darling. I'm just too tired to think about it right now. Thank you, for a wonderful evening. I need you to know that I understand how much of an effort you're making to let me have some freedom of choice."

One hand unconsciously caressing her back, Christian brings the other up to cover her hand on his chest, entwining his fingers in hers to hold her palm against his skin as he says, "Yes, well, I still haven't abandoned the idea of chaining you to a wall. But, you're welcome. And I had a good time tonight, too. Much as I enjoy our verbal sparring, I think that _not_ fighting with you may prove even more fun."

Now truly exhausted in body and mind, Ana can only manage, "Mmm." She's already asleep when Christian kisses her forehead.

* * *

When Ana wakes in relative darkness, she has a moment of total confusion when she doesn't recognize the room. And then is shocked when she realizes it's her bedroom. In the next second she remembers that Christian should be in her bed and smiles, finally understanding that she'd expected to wake at Escala. A glance at the clock reveals that it's almost 4am. Praying that Christian hasn't left without saying goodbye, Ana checks her phone to find only a message from Grace that reads, "No, thank you, for Christian. I take it that you two are back together? You both free to come to the house for dinner on Sat?"

Postponing a reply until daylight hours, Ana heads to the bathroom, noticing a faint light coming from the living area. After taking care of essentials, she finds Christian, dressed only in boxers and the ever-present ankle brace, sitting on the kitchen counter eating leftovers straight out of the roasting pan. On seeing her, he offers a sheepish shrug and says, "I got hungry."

Only then does Ana's brain wake up enough to let her receive the message from her almost empty stomach and she jumps up on the counter next to him as she says, "Yeah, me too. I guess we didn't actually have much for dinner, did we?"

Christian grins and says, "No, you fucked me instead."

Ana smiles and says, "Considering how well it went, I'm calling my theory of good food being sexy proven."

"I'd agree, babe, except that we would have fucked even if you'd served moldy bread and rancid water."

Ana laughs and reaches for a piece of chicken as she says, "True." And then she exclaims, "Oh, we totally forgot the wine…and the dessert." Leaping from the counter, she adds, "You open the wine, I'll get the dessert."

When Ana turns back to Christian, dessert plate in hand, it's to see Christian drinking from the wine bottle and, after taking a moment to file that perfect scene away for future reference, she smiles and says, "Not even teacups?"

After wiping his chin with his hand, Christian says, "Nope. I'm afraid you'll make me do chores again." After a glance over the plate in her hands, he asks, "Fruit and cheese?"

Suddenly nervous that it won't be good enough for her billionaire boyfriend, Ana says, "Well, the budget version; cheddar, Havarti and a ripe camembert with muscatel grapes, figs and blueberries."

With no sign that he considers it beneath him, Christian beams his gratitude at Ana as he silently offers the wine in trade. Mentally reprimanding herself for expecting snobbery from Christian, Ana hands over the plate as she takes the bottle. She glances at the label and wonders why the words seem familiar. Only on tasting it does she know why. Of course, Christian is avidly watching her, waiting for her response, and she says, "This is my favorite wine from the restaurant."

Christian smiles his pleasure that she's recognized it and says, "Yes. I've ordered six cases. They should be here by Friday."

Almost in tears at his unfailing generosity, Ana nevertheless says, "Christian, you're familiar with almost every inch of this apartment. Tell me, where am I going to store six cases of wine?"

Christian's eyes widen in surprise and then he laughs and says, "Oh, right. Sorry, babe. I'll have them sent to my place, instead. I'll just deliver them here one at a time."

Genuinely touched by the effort he's making to please her, Ana says, "Thank you. That's really sweet. And thank you, for not ordering twenty cases."

Christian smiles at that and says, "I considered it. But you don't drink enough wine to make such a purchase worthwhile." And then he grins and adds, "Margaritas are your drink of choice, as I recall."

At first confused, because tea is her only drink of choice, Ana soon realizes that he's talking about the night she drunk dialed him and he came to her rescue. She blushes beet red and says, "I think there are some things you simply shouldn't be allowed to mention, so…hang on, how did you know I'd been drinking margaritas?"

Still very pleased with himself, Christian says, "I shared the bed with you, Ana. Even if I hadn't, the entire room reeked of tequila and lime juice."

Still blushing, Ana can't look Christian in the eye as she says, "Change of subject, please."

Laughter in his voice, Christian says, "We need honey."

That gets Ana's attention and she looks at him in surprise to echo, "Honey?"

Clearly trying to contain his amusement, Christian says, "For the figs, but I'll get it."

Ana watches as Christian gracefully hops off the counter and covers the roasting pan before replacing it in the refrigerator, and then he fetches the honey from the pantry and puts it with the food. In that time Ana has thought of another reason to be afraid. Of course, Christian notices and says, "What is it?"

"Nothing. I'm being silly."

Pushing between her knees and taking hold of Ana's chin, forcing her to look at him, Christian gently says, "Just tell me. It'll save us a lot of time."

More amused than upset, Ana says, "Do you honestly think that I'll surrender to you, ever, just to save time?"

In a loving tone, Christian says, "No, baby, I don't. I'd hardly be attracted to you if you gave in that easily. But you want to tell me what's bothering you, because you trust me to do my best to ease your concerns. And you're going to do it _now_ to save time."

With a slight smile at this truth, Ana nods and says, "You're being nice."

Christian smiles and says, "I'm glad you noticed." And then he sobers and adds, "I take it, from your expression, that's not a good thing?"

Struggling to express her newfound fear, Ana says, "You're not nice."

Christian nods and says, "You're worried that it won't last, if we're living together."

"Yes."

Releasing her chin, Christian declares, "It's possible." At Ana's surprise, he smiles and says, "Not the answer you were expecting?" He rests his arms around Ana's waist and explains, "I'm not going to make promises that I can't keep. I can, however, promise to keep searching for different ways to please you. Because nothing in my life so far has thrilled me like it does when you look at me as if…well, what were you thinking when you realized that I'd bought that particular wine?"

Knowing that he won't like it means Ana colors slightly as she says, "That you're too good for me."

Predictably, Christian is at first angry, but then his expression clears and he says, "We're a fine pair. You think I'm too good for you, and I _know_ you're too good for me." While Ana is still processing his words, Christian grabs the food and orders, "Come on. We can finish this picnic and discussion in the comfort of your bed. Don't forget the wine."

Christian is halfway down the corridor before Ana recovers enough to grab the bottle of wine and follow him. On seeing her phone by the bed, Ana remembers and says, "Oh, your Mom has invited us for dinner on Saturday." Christian halts so quickly that Ana almost runs into him. As he turns, Ana continues, "Why didn't you tell your family that we're back together?"

Ana knows that she's in trouble when Christian's expression is unreadable as he too calmly asks, "When did you speak with Grace?"

Ana settles on a not quite lie, saying, "Uh, earlier in the evening."

"Why?"

Thinking that his imperious tone is just as annoying as always, Ana says, "If we fight now, do we still get to claim one day without an argument?"

Christian's eyes widen in surprise and then he stares at Ana as if deciding what to do with her. Finally his expression softens and he says, "I think so. But I'd rather try for _two_ days without an argument. I just don't like the feeling that you're keeping secrets from me."

Ana actually laughs at that, but quickly says, "Sorry, but keeping secrets is your thing." She holds up a hand to forestall his indignant reply and adds, "I know; you share more with me than with anyone, and I'm grateful." She then gestures to her phone and continues, "It was a text. Help yourself."

Christian places the plate on the dresser, picks up the phone and, with a questioning glance at Ana that is answered by her nod, quickly finds the relevant messages. Ana places the bottle by the bed while he reads. As Christian then carefully replaces the phone beside the food, his thoughts are hidden from Ana. After a few seconds he releases whatever emotion he's concealing in one, long breath and stares at the phone as he says, "You know that you probably made her cry."

His voice is kind, so Ana relaxes a little and says, "That wasn't my intention."

Still without looking up, Christian asks, "What was?"

Sensing that he's in earnest, Ana considers before saying, "Uh, I guess…she's given you…us, so much and asks for so little in return. I just wanted to let her know that it worked; you're happy." With a shy smile, she adds, "When I'm not driving you crazy, anyway."

Finally able to look at her, Christian gently commands, "Come here." When Ana has complied, Christian lifts her hands to rest them on his chest and then wraps his arms around her waist and says only, "Thank you."

"For making your Mom cry?"

"And for making me crazy. I'd rather be insane with you than almost sane without you."

Ana smiles and says, "Not the most romantic vow, but I like it. And shouldn't you be kissing me now?" So Christian does just that, tenderly reaffirming his gratitude with almost tentative sweeps of his lips across hers, his tongue soon joins the caress, silently asking for and receiving permission to literally delve deeper into the gesture, until both of them are desperately searching for more. Ana's hands unconsciously slide up Christian's chest to entangle in his hair, even as Christian's hands slip underneath her t-shirt to begin an exploration of her bare flesh. When they finally come up for air, Ana arches her groin against Christian as she says, "Looks like little Christian is waking up, too."

His eyes agleam with excitement, Christian protests, "Would you please not use _little_ to describe my above average member?"

Ana giggles and says, "Sorry. Though I'm glad to hear it's above average. I've actually been a little concerned for other women, if yours was the norm."

With a smug grin, Christian says, "Well, I'm sure that there are guys who have me beat. But I do all right at the urinal."

"Guys really do that?"

"Surreptitiously; sure, though I don't make a habit of it. Women don't?"

"No women I know. Wonder if it would be different if we used a communal urine receptacle?"

Christian chuckles and says, "Communal urine receptacle?" When Ana only glares at him for laughing at her, he kisses her frowning forehead and declares, "I love you."

Unable to really be angry with Christian when he's in a playful mood, Ana tries to maintain her glare as she says, "No comment."

Christian holds her tight against his body and says, "Beyond all hope of redemption, huh?"

Struggling to escape his arms, Ana says, "This is exactly why I didn't want to show you the text."

His voice warm, Christian says, "I'm glad you did." With obvious regret, Christian releases Ana, saying, "Okay, food then sleep."

When they're sitting up in bed with the plate between them, Ana says, "Oh, what about Saturday dinner?"

Christian grimaces and says, "I'd better. Presumably, I'm already in enough trouble for not mentioning that we're back together."

"So, why didn't you?"

"I'm not sure. For a start, it's only been five days. But I think it's more about that scared little boy."

"He thinks that I'm going to run again."

Studying her reaction, Christian says, "Something like that, I suspect."

Fully aware what an effort it must be for a strong, proud man like Christian to admit he's afraid, Ana silently resolves to make him glad of trusting her as she says, "Does he like blueberries?"

Christian beams his gratitude at her and says, "Doesn't everyone?" When Ana then offers him a berry, he parts his lips enough to accept and then says, "Thank you."

They feed each other for a while, keeping it from becoming too sexual by unspoken mutual agreement, and then Ana says, "Enough for me. I'm going to try for more sleep. Unless you're going to make good on that look in your eyes?"

Christian smiles and says, "No, you need sleep. I'll put the food away."

Ana sleepily says, "Okay, but be quick. I want to fall asleep in your arms."

Grabbing the plate as he leaves the bed, Christian says, "Yes, ma'am."

* * *

Christian spots the light on in the kitchen and assumes that Ana left it on, until he sees the flicker of movement. Immediately wary, he quickly realizes that an intruder would not have bothered with the light. He considers going back to the bedroom to put on more than boxers, but then shrugs and approaches as he announces his presence with, "Morning, Miss Kavanagh."

Kate stands up from her perusal of the refrigerator, closing the door as she looks him up and down before saying, "Grey. Do you live here now?"

Smiling, Christian says, "No. Ana persuaded me to spend the night. How's Elliot?"

"Pissed that he didn't know you and Ana are back together."

Surprised, Christian says, "You only told him tonight?"

"I didn't tell him at all. It's Ana's business, not mine, and certainly not Elliot's."

Pleased with Kate's discretion, Christian proffers the wine, saying, "It's good, if you don't mind that we've been drinking from the bottle."

Kate takes a swig and says, "Very good, thanks." And then she gestures to the plate of food in his hands and says, "Ana's idea of seduction?"

Christian grins and says, "No. She doesn't need food for that. Hungry?"

"Starving."

Christian hands her the plate and says, "Help yourself. I'd better…Ana is waiting." At Kate's amused look, he adds, "Yeah, I know, it's pathetic. But she has me at a distinct disadvantage."

"Because you love her." When Christian only nods, Kate gestures to his bare chest and says, "Can I ask about those scars?"

"Absolutely, Miss Kavanagh."

Something in his tone alerts Kate and she says, "But you won't answer?" When he only smiles, Kate adds, "Fair enough. Night, Grey."

"Bon appétit, Miss Kavanagh. Oh, if you didn't even tell Elliot, I presume you haven't told anyone else that Ana and I are dating?"

"No. Why?"

Christian nods and says, "There was a reporter skulking about earlier this evening. I'm afraid that Ana is about to get famous and I'd very much like to know how they got this address."

"They could have followed you here."

With a confident smile, Christian says, "No, they couldn't. My driver wouldn't permit it."

"Hmm, so someone has blabbed. Can I do anything?"

"No, thank you. I'll take care of it. There'll be a security specialist here first thing in the morning to make this place safe. I presume you don't have a problem with that?"

"And if I did?" When Christian's spine straightens as he prepares for battle, Kate says, "Relax, Grey. Of course I want Ana safe. I'm just messing with you."

Christian shakes his head and says, "You and Ana are a fine pair. Good night, Miss Kavanagh."

"Yeah. Night."

When Christian returns to the bedroom, Ana is asleep, sitting up in bed. He considers just watching her for a while, but recognizes that the angle of her neck will be most uncomfortable when she wakes. As gently as possible, he lifts Ana and lays her flat on the bed. She stirs a little and murmurs, "I waited."

Enfolding her in his arms and placing one of her hands on his chest, Christian says, "Sorry, babe; got waylaid by Kate."

Christian knows that Ana is still asleep when she then says, "I'll always wait."


	24. Chapter 24

Author's note: This one is for cr8tiveink. Happy Birthday.

* * *

On the Rocks: Chapter Twenty-four

Ana wakes to sunlight streaming in her window and she's once again alone. Immediately reaching for her phone, she sees no message from Christian and knows that he's somewhere in the apartment. She's mid-smile at the thought of having breakfast with him when the unmistakable silhouette of a person passes by the curtained window and she's not quick enough to suppress a squeal of surprise. A couple of seconds later, a fully-dressed Christian bursts into the room and Ana, one hand over her mouth, can only point at the window. He visibly relaxes and says, "It's okay, babe. They're just going over the place, checking every possible point of egress and making sure no bastard can easily break in."

After a glance at the clock, Ana protests, "Christian, it's not even seven! And when the hell did we decide this?"

His mask of indifference firmly in place, Christian says, "_We_ didn't. I tried to discuss it, but you fell asleep."

"That was only eight hours ago. You couldn't wait until I woke up?"

"No. The reporter has a good lawyer, so the cops couldn't even hold them overnight."

Suddenly realizing why Christian seems so calm, Ana says, "Why are you afraid?"

That breaks through Christian's façade enough that his eyebrows lift in surprise and he asks, "What makes you think I'm afraid?"

Ana gestures to his entire body and says, "You've gone all Agent Smith on me, again."

Christian relaxes, smiles and says, "I like those movies, and that character."

Reassured by his mood change, Ana says, "Well, you would. And were you expecting me, Agent Smith?"

With a playful grin, Christian jumps onto the bed to kneel before Ana as he says, "Not even Smith could have foreseen you, Anastasia. You are the beginning of my end."

"And the Omega to your Alpha?"

Desire sparks in Christian's eyes at the implications of that simple phrase and then he asks, "No fight?"

Ana lies back down, with her hands behind her head as she says, "Depends; is my cup of tea ready?"

Christian suddenly straddles her body outside the covers and pins her elbows onto the bed as he says, "You expect me to wait on you?"

Almost ecstatic with joy at his playful mood, Ana says, "No, but I'd be grateful."

Christian's predatory grin holds a hint of her Fifty when he asks, "How grateful?"

They're interrupted by a choking sound coming from the open doorway and then the sound of Kate making gagging noises as she heads towards the living area. Ana giggles and says, "Pro of moving in with you; Jason and Gail are much more discreet."

Christian smiles at that and says, "Oh, there are a lot of pros about moving in with me. But then you already know that." And then he releases her arms and leaves the bed as he reveals, "Bag out tea and milk out granola await your arrival in the kitchen."

Ana laughs simply because her joy won't allow anything else, and then she remembers and asks, "You didn't tell me why you're afraid of the reporter? Are they back, already?"

Christian studies her face for a while, as if deciding how much to tell her, and then says, "No, they've not dared to show their face around here again. But, as we speak, they're searching for another way to get to you; count on it. And…other than a name, I can't find out anything about them."

"You can't, or Welch can't?"

"Welch."

"Oh. I presume that's unusual?"

With a shrug, Christian says, "Far as I know, it's a first."

Ana considers for a moment and says, "Does Welch think they're a danger to me?"

"There's nothing to indicate that. But the shroud of anonymity is a concern."

Ana knows that, with even such a vague threat to her safety, Christian's first instinct will be to remove her from danger at any cost, so she insists, "I'm still going out with Kate tonight."

Anger flares in Christian's eyes before he banishes it and then asks, "You'll cooperate with the team?"

Relieved that he's not hitting the panic button on her life, Ana smiles and says, "So long as they let me pee alone, yes. And you'll be monitoring my every move?"

Christian grins and jokes, "Yes, even when you pee. Now get out of bed, or you'll be late for work."

Ana does as instructed, reaching for her robe as she says, "Yes, Sir."

Kate is already dressed and sipping coffee when they enter the living area and she greets them with, "Grey, when you said first thing in the morning, I assumed you meant around nine, not dawn."

Confused, Ana looks at Christian and he explains, "Miss Kavanagh was looking for a snack when I returned the food to the kitchen last night, so I explained about the added security measures."

Glancing over his jeans and sweater, Kate quips, "At least you're wearing more than boxers this time."

Christian gestures for Ana to sit down at her bowl and teacup as he says, "And I presume you're now wearing underwear?"

Kate looks horrified for a second and then says, "Oh, you nearly got me. But I wore pajama pants last night."

Christian chuckles and says, "Yes, you did." And then he kisses Ana's cheek and says, "I have to go. You girls have fun tonight. Taylor and Ryan will be on duty. Let them know when you're ready to go."

Reeling from all the information her sleep befuddled brain has had to take in, Ana says, "You're not even going to have breakfast?"

Christian smiles and says, "I ate earlier. I would have woken you, but you were out cold." With a glance at Kate, he leans over and whispers in Ana's ear, "Sex you soon."

Kate chokes on her drink and then complains, "Sibilant whispers are actually pretty audible, Grey. You two have already put me off breakfast. Now I don't even want coffee."

Looking incredibly pleased with himself, Christian lies, "Sorry." Kate glares at him and then tips out the remains of her coffee before leaving the room. She's not quite out of earshot when Christian says, "I thought she'd never leave." But there's no reply.

Still smiling from the interplay between her best friend and her boyfriend, Ana says, "She lives here, Christian. But I'm glad you two are getting along…that _is_ what you were doing just now, right?"

Christian chuckles and says, "Yes. She's actually kind of fun when she's not being a pain in the ass."

"You really have to go?"

"I'm afraid so. I have a meeting in ninety minutes and a lot to do before then; change clothes, for one thing. But I'll text you when I'm done."

"Oh, that reminds me; why did you wipe out the call and message history on my phone?"

"I didn't. I just set it up so that the phone will do it on a regular basis; your browser history, too. You're about to get a lot of attention, and your phone is the first target of a news hound with light fingers."

"What if there were something on there that I wanted to keep?"

"Was there?"

"No. But…do you have this on your phone?"

"No need. I delete messages after I've received them, and swipe the history every day. I've also added a password that you'll need when the phone has been inactive for a while, and to open contacts. I don't want any of our relatives being hounded or put in danger because their details are on your phone. It won't stop a professional hacker, but there's not much we can do about that, anyway."

Chilled by the thought of her parents perhaps being in danger, Ana says, "Okay. But this would be one of those things I'd rather you had consulted me about."

Christian smiles and says, "I would have, babe, but…"

"I was asleep." When Christian simply nods, Ana says, "Maybe testing my capacity for orgasms should be a weekend activity, so I don't sleep through everything."

Christian's smile is wide and he promises, "I'll see what I can do." And then he kisses Ana and adds, "Think of me tonight."

Ana grins and says, "Who are you, again?"

Christian grins as he heads for the door, saying, "Just for that, I'm not going to tell you the password."

"What? But…Grey, get back here!"

Hand on the door, Christian says, "_Now_ you'll be thinking of me."

He's gone before Ana can think of a reply. She almost runs to get her phone and is pleased to see that she can access it without the password. But, sure enough, opening contacts requires a distressing nine characters. The keypad still appears to work and, after struggling for a second to recall his number, because it's usually right there, Ana calls Christian. When he cheerfully greets her, she says, "Bastard. Nine characters?"

He chuckles and says, "The point is for it to be difficult to crack, Ana."

"I'm guessing that your name is too easy?"

"Far too easy. It's all lower case. But that's all the help you get."

"So, what can I use on my phone?"

"Calls, obviously, in and out. You can send and receive messages. Uh, that's it, I think. Oh, you can use the camera, but not access photos that are already on there."

"And how long a period of inactivity will activate the password?"

"Sixty minutes."

Ana ponders that and says, "So, you did this just before I woke up?"

"Yes. I was going to wake you then, but you were really sound asleep, so I figured you needed it."

"When I woke, I thought that I was in Escala."

Christian is quiet for a moment and then says, "It's just as well you didn't tell me that before I left."

Smiling, Ana says, "Because you'd still be here?"

"Yes." And then he sighs audibly and says, "About to enter the garage. You _will_ think of me, won't you?"

"Yes, darling, even after I crack this password. Until then, I shall be mostly thinking words that would shock my mother."

Christian chuckles again and says, "Maybe one of them is the password." And then he's gone.

* * *

Christian is still in his morning meeting, wondering if it's possible to die from boredom, when his phone vibrates. On seeing that it's a call from Ana, he addresses the dozen or so people, saying, "I need to take this."

Once in the privacy of his office, he answers, "Cracked it?"

"Our safe words? Why?"

Christian laughs at the irritation in her voice and says, "Maybe this way you'll remember to use them."

"Except that now I know the password, I can just change it."

Supremely confident of her regard, Christian says, "But you won't."

"Oh, why is that, Grey?"

"Because every time you type in yellowred, you'll think of me and smile."

"I'm doing that right now."

Pleased beyond words that she's being such a good sport, Christian says, "I suspect you do that quite a bit."

"Perhaps. How are you today?"

Hearing the genuine concern in her tone, Christian says, "Other than being in the same meeting for two hours, I'm fine. Why wouldn't I be?"

"Oh, concern about the reporter and…I was a little rough on you before dinner last night."

"I'm fine, baby. And I have an appointment with Flynn tomorrow."

After a moment, Ana says, "He'll want to speak with me again."

"No. You proved that I won't ever hurt you. I accept that now, and I'll make him understand."

"That's wonderful, darling. It should make our lives a lot easier. But I was talking about…there's lots of ways it could have gone wrong and Flynn will be pissed with me when you tell him what I did…oh, but you must, okay? He needs to know what happened."

Distressed that she seems so worried about it, Christian says, "Okay, baby. I'll tell him. But you won't have to talk to him."

After another pause, Ana says, "I dunno. Maybe I should. You could have gone mute again, or had a panic attack, even ended up catatonic. I just…in the moment, it seemed worth the risk."

Wishing that he could reach through the phone and soothe away her concerns, Christian says, "It was. I'm fine. You won't have to talk to him."

"Okay. Thanks. You'd better get back to your meeting. And I'd better do something other than type words into my phone."

Proud of her for solving it, Christian says, "You must have got it ages ago. It only permits four attempts."

The note of irritation is back in Ana's voice as she says, "Not if you shut it down after the third, remove the battery and then restart it."

Imagining Ana doing that all morning elicits a bark of laughter from Christian and then he lies, "I'm sorry."

"You don't sound sorry."

"Okay, you got me. But I do love you and I'll see you tomorrow at Escala."

"And I love you. What about…how's your ankle?"

Just the suspicion of what she's really asking means that Christian's dick twitches in response to her words and he says, "Well enough to play by tomorrow evening, I think."

"You're telling me the truth?"

Christian knows how much Ana will be missing the playroom, because he's feels that same need, but he also knows that she'd torture herself forever if he hurt himself pleasing her, so he says, "Yes. Do you want Diana's number to check?"

"No, I trust you. I'm running out of cons, aren't I?"

Christian's breath actually stops at the realization that she's leaning towards moving in with him, but he keeps his cool, remembers to breathe and says, "I hope so. Because I don't think that I've got many more cards to play. But I know you'll be worth the wait, so be sure, okay?"

Her voice is barely audible when she says, "Okay. I have to go. Thanks, Christian."

Genuinely confused, considering that she called to abuse him, Christian says, "For what?"

"Just being you."

Momentarily speechless, as sweet pain burns in his chest for her, Christian then says, "You're welcome, baby. Thanks, for letting me."

It sounds like Ana is able to smile again as she says, "Truly my pleasure. Sex you soon, Mr. Grey."

"Sex you soon, Miss Steele. Oh, how do you know that term?"

"I use it all the time with my other boyfriends. You don't like it?"

He knows that he should be furious with her. Certainly, in the past, such defiance would have woken the darkness within him. But he just can't seem to get angry, because he knows that she's…okay, he has no fucking idea why she does it. But it works, because his erection swells and he can barely manage to instill any anger in his voice as he growls, "Ana."

His faith in her is immediately justified when she giggles, clearly unafraid, and says, "If you'd read any books since the nineteenth century, you might know it, too. I've seen it a few times in some of the newer manuscripts that come past my desk."

Despite being proud of her courage, and almost in awe of her spirit, Christian can't let her win; she's owns too much of him already, so he calmly says, "Ana?"

"Yes?"

"When I play with your body on Friday night, I'll gag you first." And then he hangs up, smiling, because he can imagine the shocked look on Ana's face as she tries to imagine what he has in store for her, even as she becomes aroused, because she knows, as instinctively as she trusts the sunrise, that he'll make it pleasurable.

Already missing her voice, Christian stows the phone in his pocket and, with a sigh, heads back into the meeting. As expected, everyone has kept things ticking along in his absence. He mutes the phone speakers in the middle of the table with a push of a button and says to his staff, "Any progress?"

As usual, Dan is the brave one and, after a glance around the table, says, "No, sir. He's holding firm."

Christian only nods and picks up the headset before him, making the phone call relatively private, as he says, "Harry, we've been talking in circles all morning; what's the problem?"

The by now familiar voice on the other end says, "You know the problem, Grey; you want to take my life's work and put your name on it, and I don't believe you give a shit who gets hurt in the process."

"Then the first thing we need to do is fire your research team, because even a little bit of digging would show you that I care a great deal about anything that has my name. The facts are this; you _will_ lose your life's work. Nothing can alter that. You're a good man and a talented engineer, but any one of the people sitting around this table could do a better job of running your company than you have. So, go away, do your homework, and decide whose name you want on the letterheads from now on. Because I have better things to do with my time than try and talk sense into an old man who doesn't know when to give up." And, with that, he hangs up.

Dan is again the only one brave enough to say, "Uh, Mr. Grey, we've invested countless man hours and almost a hundred thousand dollars on this deal. If we back out now, it'll have been for nothing."

Usually, Christian appreciates his subordinate's courage enough to listen to him, but Dan's shit out of luck today, because somewhere between hanging up on Ana and hanging up on Harry, Christian made a decision and he says, "_We've_ spent nothing. I've spent a fraction of my fortune on the chance that I might turn it into more. But, after spending all morning on this, it occurs to me that I'm rich enough."

"But, sir, if you'll just…"

With a gesture, Christian silences the man and addresses the entire room when he says, "There's going to be some changes. The first of which is that, from this moment on, Dan will be your boss, second only to me." And then he looks at the man in question to say, "Unless you have a problem with that?"

Too shocked to say anything for a moment, Dan quickly recovers and says, "Uh, no. Thank you, sir." And then, already proving that Christian has made the right decision, he asks, "The other changes?"

Christian permits himself a smile and says, "You're going to see less of me from now on. I'll hang around today long enough to set this in motion and then I'm going home to put my feet up." And then he grins and says, "What do people do with spare time?"

That gets a few snickers and then Dan stands to offer his hand as he says, "Thank you, sir. You won't regret this."

Christian accepts the gesture, saying, "Oh, I'm sure that I will regret it very much. But you're the right man for the job." And then he again addresses his entire team to say, "Thanks, for all your hard work. I'll see you tomorrow…maybe."

Christian has barely left the room before it erupts in muted chatter. Smiling at the chaos he's just left behind, he heads to his office to begin the hopefully simple process of delegating a lot of his workload. He's not quite to his chair when the phone on his desk rings. It's Harry and he says, "You're a cocky son of a bitch, aren't you?"

Sensing victory, Christian decides on diplomacy and says, "Yes, sir."

After only a moment, Harry says, "Okay, Grey, it's all yours. Send me the paperwork and we'll get started."

"Thank you, sir. But you'll be dealing with Dan Glenn from now on. He'll have full powers of negotiation. I'm…easing back on my duties."

"Oh? When did this happen?"

"About ten minutes ago."

After a few seconds, Harry says, "Why the sudden changing of the guard?"

Suddenly nervous, as the conversation gets close to Ana, Christian says only, "I have my reasons."

"Wouldn't have anything to do with the brown-haired beauty you've been photographed with recently, would it?"

Reassured by the man's congenial tone, Christian says, "Perhaps."

Another pause and then Harry says, "My reason is Donna, my wife."

Without knowing why, Christian feels that he can trust the man, so he says, "Ana, not yet my wife."

Harry chuckles and says, "Good luck with that, Grey. You won't regret this."

"Neither will you, sir. I was serious about caring for anything bearing my name. I'll look after your business and your workers."

"I'm glad to hear it. But I was actually talking about choosing Ana over work. They're all that matters, Grey. The rest is as dust in the wind."

Wondering how the hell this man he barely knows can have gotten under his skin so easily, Christian physically squirms in discomfort and struggles to keep his voice even as he says, "If you say so, sir. I'll get the paperwork to you by the end of the day…uh, well, Dan Glenn will."

It sounds distinctly like Harry is trying to contain his humor as he says, "Goodbye, Grey."

* * *

When Ana breaks for lunch she texts Christian, "How did the meeting go?"

Almost immediately he calls her back to say, "Sorry, babe. I forgot to text you, didn't I? It went well. I have a COO."

"Chief Operating Officer? You didn't before?"

"No. I had a team who did whatever the fuck I told them to. But this morning I realized that I want more spare time. Now the team will do whatever the fuck Dan tells them to."

Almost unable to breathe, because she suspects the reason for the change, Ana asks, "Spare time?"

"Yes. Suddenly working up to ninety hours a week doesn't have the same appeal if I can spend that time with you, instead."

"Christian that's…I can't even process this. Are you sure?"

Christian chuckles and says, "Baby, I've never been more sure of anything. Whether or not you move in with me, I'm yours forever and I don't want to waste a minute of it."

"Suddenly, I'm not hungry."

Ana can hear the smile in his voice when Christian says, "You lusting me right now, baby?"

"Lusting you, loving you, missing you…it's actually quite sad how much time I spend thinking about you."

"Uh, huh! I _knew_ you'd be thinking of me tonight."

Ana smiles at the immature taunt and says, "Yes, I'll be thinking of you. Right now I'm wishing that you'll be there."

"I can do that."

"No, if you're there I'll ignore Kate and she deserves more. But…will you be awake when we're done?"

"Almost certainly. I sleep even less well when you're not here. Call me when you're on the way home. And eat something, or you'll regret that second cocktail."

For once unmindful of his imperious tone, Ana says only, "Yes, Sir."

"Bye, sweetheart." They're both silent for a while, neither wanting the call to end, and then Christian sighs and says, "Have fun, baby. I'll be thinking of you, too."

When he's gone, Ana stares at the phone for several seconds, wondering how she can be so lucky as to have Christian in her life, and then forces herself to eat the suddenly unappetizing food.


	25. Chapter 25

On the Rocks: Chapter Twenty-five

Kate is ready to go when Ana finally gets home. After apologizing for being late and admiring Kate's cocktail dress, Ana dons her tried-and-true brown, knee length dress with Kate's chunky turquoise jewelry, prompting Kate to ask, "Doesn't the billionaire buy you trinkets?"

"He wants to, but it makes me feel…bought."

Kate rolls her eyes and says, "Honestly, Ana, the guy adores you. Let him show it occasionally."

Ana smiles and says, "That's pretty much what he said when I complained." She snaps the bracelet into place and grabs her shoulder purse, saying, "Ready. Where are we going?"

Heading for the door, Kate says, "The Re-Bar."

Following, Ana says, "The gay bar?"

"Mixed, sweetie, and Stay Tuned is playing, so it should be fun." At Ana's questioning look, Kate explains, "They do covers of TV themes, only make them rock, and they encourage people to sing along. You'll love it."

Of course, Taylor and Ryan are waiting outside and efficiently escort them to the venue, Taylor staying with the car, only getting out to open Ana's door for her. The band is already playing and it's only when they break into the vocals that Ana recognizes the tune and shouts to Kate, "Charles in Charge?"

"Yes." Grabbing Ana's hand, she says, "Let's dance."

Several themes later, they take a break and squeeze into a spot at the bar for a drink. As usual, Kate takes charge, ordering two appletinis. With a grin, she jokes, "And for you?"

Ana laughs, suddenly carefree, and says, "Appletini sounds fine, thanks. And thanks, for suggesting this. My feet will regret it tomorrow, but I'm having fun."

Amazingly, their drinks soon arrive. They're quiet for a while, and then Kate laughs and says, "It's ridiculous how much we miss them, isn't it?"

Ana smiles and jokes, "No idea what you're talking about." And then she lifts her glass in toast and says, "Come on, finish up and let's really give our feet something to regret."

And that's exactly what they do; dance until their feet hurt, with Kate expertly fending off the few potential suitors before Ryan's attention is necessary. Almost everyone in the club is singing along to the theme from The Golden Girls, with perhaps Kate belting it out the loudest of all, when Ana is temporarily blinded by a camera flash. Blinking in that direction, she sees not some random patron with a cellphone, but a rather elaborate SLR camera, wielded by a woman only about Ana's age. Ryan is already approaching the woman, apparently talking into his sleeve as he does so, even as the photographer bolts for the door. They're intercepted by Taylor, who shepherds them outside. All this happens in a few seconds and Ana says, "Oh, fuck. I'll be right back."

Having missed the entire exchange, Kate asks, "What's going on?"

"I think the reporter from last night just found me. I'll be back in a sec. Just want to make sure Taylor doesn't get carried away."

Ryan intercepts Ana and says, "It's okay, Miss Steele, we'll take care of it."

"_How_ will you take care of it?"

That surprises him and Ryan hesitates before saying, "Uh, Taylor knows what to do."

Ana moves to step around him, but he again intercepts her, so she calmly says, "Step aside."

Ryan holds her gaze for a second and then says, "All right, Miss Steele, but please stay with me."

Satisfied that he won't prevent her from investigating, Ana shadows him outside and is led to the secluded area where the car is parked. She arrives in time to see Taylor holding the reporter by the arm, the camera in his other hand, as he hisses inaudible questions at her, so Ana says, "Enough, Taylor."

Clearly shocked to hear her voice, Taylor looks first at Ana, then Ryan and back again. And then he says, "It's all right ma'am. I'll take care of it."

Shaking her head, Ana says, "Do they teach you that phrase in bodyguard school?" And then she addresses the reporter and says, "How old are you?"

With a nervous glance at Taylor, the woman says, "Seventeen." Taylor is shocked enough at the answer to let go of the girl's arm as if burned, but she doesn't bolt, only rubbing her arm slightly where she'd been held.

Ana had suspected the girl's age on seeing her inside, and she says to Taylor, "Tell Welch that the reason he could find no details is that there are none." Again addressing the girl, she says, "What's your name? You know mine."

"Fiona, Miss Steele."

"These men are concerned that you are somehow a threat to me. Can you assure them that you're not?"

"I, uh, I just want a photo to go with a story I'm doing on Mr. Grey."

"Why?"

With a shrug, Fiona says, "So that I can get a job."

After considering a moment, Ana says, "Is journalism your preferred choice?"

"Uh, no, not especially. I just don't want to attend college, and my parents said that a job is the only alternative."

Ana nods her understanding of the explanation and then says, "Delete the photo of me." When Taylor immediately moves to comply, Ana says, "Not you. Let Fiona do it."

Taylor says, "Miss Steele, I…"

Ana holds up a hand to silence him and says, "Please don't make me repeat everything. Just give her the camera."

Reluctance in every inch of his body, Taylor complies, adding the caution to Fiona, "Careful."

When Ana approaches Fiona, both Ryan and Taylor move to block her, but they soon back down under her silent command. Without a word, Fiona turns the viewfinder towards Ana, so that she can see the photo being deleted. And then Ana says, "Any others?"

"No, ma'am."

"Have you told anyone my name?"

"Uh, no, Miss Steele. I didn't want anyone else getting the story."

"Are you prepared to tell me how you found out?"

Her back straightening in defiance, Fiona says, "No, ma'am."

Ana smiles and says, "Well done. It was Jon Slossman, wasn't it?"

Shocked, Fiona blanches and says, "How…he won't get into trouble, will he? I didn't tell him what I was doing."

Ana smiles and says, "It's all right, Fiona. No one is in trouble here. Oh, though you'll have to give Taylor here your fake ID. But then we can talk about finding you a job, okay?"

"Uh, yes, thank you, Miss Steele. How did you know that I got your name from Jon?"

Ana smiles and says, "You were dancing with him at the benefit. How did you find me tonight?"

"I followed from a distance and then searched every nightclub and restaurant in a five block area until I found you."

Ana nods and says, "How many are there?"

"Three clubs and five restaurants nice enough to warrant your outfit."

Ana beams at Taylor and says, "Smart, brave, honest, respectful and loyal. Why wouldn't I want to hire her?"

Pondering what to do next, Ana then notices Ryan has his phone out and she says, "Please tell me you didn't just contact Christian?"

It's Taylor who explains, "We received additional instructions tonight; immediately let him know if you stopped cooperating with us."

Ana doesn't turn at his words, but asks Ryan, "Is he already on the way?"

"Yes, ma'am."

Trying to calm her suddenly too-fast heartbeat, Ana says to Fiona, "Hand over the ID and make yourself scarce. Find me at Seattle Independent Publishing on Monday for a job, okay?"

Proving just how smart she is, Fiona does exactly as told and then says only "Thank you, Miss Steele," before disappearing into the night.

With a resigned sigh, Ana addresses no one in particular as she says, "Looks like my evening is at an end." She heads back inside, closely followed by Ryan, to find Kate trying to get attention at the now very crowded bar, and Ana says, "Forget about it. You'll have to wait forever, and I have to go, anyway."

Immediately concerned, Kate says, "Trouble with the reporter?"

"No. Turns out she's just a kid looking for work and thought she had an edge after learning my name. But Christian knows about the drama, so he'll be here soon and he won't be happy. You might as well head home with Taylor. I'll wait here for…"

"I'm not leaving you alone with Grey. I know he's making an effort, but I still don't trust him."

Well and truly tired of being bullied, Ana says, "You don't need to trust him, I do. Go home. I'll be there soon."

Kate has heard that tone before, so she doesn't argue, asking only, "You'll call, if you need me?"

Relieved at her friend's cooperation, Ana says, "I promise. Thanks, for a wonderful evening. I'll be home soon."

Still wary, but reassured enough to comply, Kate says, "Ok, sweetie. I'll put the kettle on."

After they've said goodbye, Ana is about to try her luck at the bar, for a fortifying drink, when she sees Taylor approaching. He hands the car keys to Ryan and says, "Take Miss Kavanagh home, then return to Escala."

For the first time Ana gets a glimpse of the real Ryan when his professional demeanor relaxes enough for him to flash a smile of gratitude at Taylor as he says, "Yes, sir."

When he's gone, Ana says, "Was that a favor to me, or to Ryan?"

"Christian. He'll be worked up and I don't want him to do anything he'll regret."

"But you won't tell him what to do?"

"No, ma'am. He's my boss. I suggest we wait outside."

Ana nods and says, "I'll just get my jacket." They're walking towards the cloakroom when Ana suddenly laughs. At Taylor's confusion, she motions to the band and says, "Listen."

After a second, Taylor grins and says, "Who's the Boss?"

Ana nods and says, "Good question, don't you think?"

Without another word, Ana retrieves and dons her jacket, then follows Taylor outside. They've not been waiting long when Christian's Audi comes into view, moving fast. He slows down enough to come to an almost gentle stop beside them and leaves the engine running as he gets out, saying to Taylor, "How the fuck did they follow you?"

With a pointed glance at nearby patrons and security staff, Taylor says, "You'd like a full report here and now?"

Christian shakes his head and says, "You're right; later." And then he says to Ana, "Get in."

Also not wanting a public scene, Ana does as bid, immediately freeing her aching feet from the shoes. Surprised, when Christian reclaims the driver's seat, Ana says, "No Taylor?"

"No. He's fired again."

Confident that it's not a permanent arrangement, Ana says, "It wasn't his fault, Christian. No one thought to look for a student. She's just a kid."

As he joins the traffic, Christian says, "Perhaps, but the next one won't be. You should never approach a suspect, Ana, never. I don't know what the fuck you think you were doing."

Sighing at the effort it takes to make him see reason, Ana says, "Not a suspect, Christian, a minor who was being interrogated by an armed security officer. I couldn't let that happen. If the next one is over twenty-one, they're on their own." And then she realizes something and asks, "Where are we going?"

"Escala."

"Kate is expecting me at home, Christian."

"Your apartment isn't secure. Neither is your lifestyle. Tonight proves that. You can have the spare bedroom, if you must, but you're moving into Escala tonight. I need to know you're safe, Ana, I can't…you have to be safe."

"Safe like right now; with no bodyguard and a lunatic at the wheel?"

That's enough to actually make him glance in the mirror and he says, "Sawyer is waiting at the apartment and Taylor will join us when he's picked up a few of your things."

"Then call Taylor and tell him not to bother. I'm not moving in just because you've remembered to be afraid. Right now, in this car, is the most danger I've been in all day. Now turn around and take me home…my home."

When Christian says nothing and only focusses on the traffic, Ana knows that he's simply not hearing her. With the unmistakable silhouette of Escala looming ever closer, there's not much time. So she waits until he next stops at lights and opens her door to flee. Christian's instincts and lightning fast reflexes ensure that he turns in time to see her leaving the car. With a shocked "Fuck," he grabs for Ana, but only snags her purse, the strap breaking under the strain. Ana hears more expletives behind her, as Christian exits the car, but she doesn't stop, bolting down a nearby alley. Nor does she stop at the frantic sound of her name, or the sounds of car horns tooting their outrage or support, only glancing back when Christian cries out, "Yellow!" He's stopped pursuing her, the distance between them too great to make up and is holding his arms out in supplication as he repeats, "Yellow. Ana, please stop."

Chest heaving from exertion and anxiety, Ana does so, dropping her hands to her knees as she struggles to get enough oxygen, never taking her eyes from Christian. When she can finally speak, she says, "Me running off into the night minus my shoes and purse is only a yellow?"

Visibly relieved that she's at least talking to him, Christian shrugs and says, "You're still in sight. Ana, please get back in the car."

"No. But, if you could bring me my purse, I'd be grateful."

"Ana, just get in the fucking car, before someone steals it."

Somehow knowing that she's won, Ana says, "You'll take me home?"

"Yes."

"No punishment?"

"Do you deserve punishment?"

Ana stands up straight as she says, "No. You panicked and wouldn't listen to me."

Christian shakes his head and says, "Not nearly as much as I panicked when you got out of the car. Let's not do this again."

"Fine by me." And then Ana gestures for Christian to go first and says, "After you."

Christian smiles and says, "Where's the trust?"

Still wary, Ana approaches saying, "Okay, but…" When she sees the predator enter Christian's eyes, Ana knows that there's no chance of escape this time, so she stands still, trembling slightly as he approaches with a triumphant grin on his face, and the only thing she can think to say is, "My feet hurt."

Christian stops before her, frowning in concern, and says, "Show me."

Reaching out to grasp his arm for balance, Ana lifts her feet one at a time. When she shows her right foot, Christian hisses in surprise and asks, "When was your last tetanus jab?"

"Uh, high school, I guess. I'm not sure."

Christian lifts her in his arms and says, "Looks like a stop at Emergency on the way home."

"Whose home, Christian?"

"Your temporary home at Pike Place Market."

Something about being in Christian's arms makes everything seem all right, despite the stabbing pain in her foot, and Ana leans against his shoulder as she says, "You still think that I'll move in with you?"

Christian kisses her forehead and says, "Yes. You came back this time."

They're almost to the car, thankfully where Christian abandoned it and Ana says, "Oh, wait, I was twelve. I don't need a jab."

"You're sure?"

"Yes. Please just take me home. Kate will be worried."

"Okay. But you'll get a jab tomorrow just in case."

"I will." With difficulty, Christian manages to get Ana in the back seat of the car without her feet touching the ground, and she says, "Thank you, Christian."

Making no reply, Christian takes the driver's seat and passes Ana an unopened pack of sanitizing wipes as he says, "Try not to bleed on my car."

"You're Agent Smith again."

This time the comparison is not enough to break through his calm and Christian starts the engine as he says, "Let's just get you home."

As Christian drives, Ana stares at Escala, still prominent against the night sky, and wonders what the hell she's doing asking Christian to drive away from it. But she's suddenly too tired and sore to think about it and turns her attention to her foot. The cut isn't very deep, just jagged enough to bleed a fair bit. Not wanting to worry Christian further, she ignores the biting pain as she cleans the wound with the wipes. There's nowhere to put the soiled ones, so she ends up placing them neatly on the floor. By then, Christian is parking outside her apartment. When he opens her door, she motions to the pile of wipes and says, "Uh, I didn't know…"

Christian actually sounds weary as he says, "Just leave them, Ana."

He carries her to the door, which is opened by a dispassionate Taylor. Kate, however, is not so calm and exclaims, "Fuck! What happened? Grey, what did you do to her?"

As if she's hasn't spoken, Christian gently places Ana on the sofa and begs Taylor, "Jason?"

With only a nod in reply, Taylor washes his hands at the sink and, after silently asking Ana for permission, receiving a weak smile in reply, he squats before Ana to examine her feet and then asks, "When was the last time…"

Christian interrupts with, "Nine years ago. She'll get a booster first thing in the morning."

Taylor stands, offering Ana a kind smile as he says, "If you're up to date with vaccinations, then you're fine, Miss Steele. I recommend a hot bath and a large Band-Aid."

Relieved that someone is calm enough to make sense, Ana smiles her gratitude and says, "Bath sounds wonderful, thank you."

Christian is gone from the room before she finishes speaking, and Ana guesses that he's running a bath for her. Sure enough, only seconds later, the sounds of the tub filling can be heard. She's staring in his direction as if she can see through walls, when Taylor quietly says, "I take it you're not going to Escala tonight?"

Ana smiles at his conspiratorial tone and says, "No. Not tonight."

Taylor eyes widen in surprise at the subtext and he's about to speak when Kate exclaims, "Will someone please tell me what the _fuck_ is going on?"

Ana giggles, wondering if she's in shock, and says, "Everything's fine, Kate. I cut my foot roaming around Seattle in the dark without shoes. Christian didn't do anything. He just can't stand the idea of me being in danger. So he'll be a little twitchy for a while. But, other than to carry me, he didn't lay a hand on me, okay?"

Somewhat reassured, Kate says, "Okay. Time for that cup of tea?"

Ana beams her gratitude at her friend, saying, "Yes, thank you."

Kate has only had time to put the kettle on when Christian returns, shirt sleeves rolled up and minus his suede jacket, and says, "Miss Kavanagh, would you please watch the bath? I don't think it's going to take very long to fill that thing." When Kate wordlessly moves to comply, causing Ana to stifle another urge to giggle, Christian then says "Taylor," as he heads to the door.

Recognizing it as an order, Taylor moves to follow. Confused, Ana asks Christian, "You're leaving?"

The hurt in Christian's eyes when he looks at her takes Ana's breath away, and he says, "No. Taylor is."

Sure enough, Christian returns only a minute later and Ana says, "I'm sorry."

Christian bends down and lifts Ana in his arms as he says, "For what?"

"For…you're upset."

His arms around her somewhat muting the gesture, Christian shrugs and says, "I'll get over it."

Desperate to ease his pain, Ana puts one hand on Christian's chest, pushing aside the lapel of his shirt enough that her fingertips touch his skin. His shocked gasp at the contact confirms that he's feeling very vulnerable, but he doesn't reprimand her, so Ana maintains the gesture and keeps her hand very still. At the door of the bathroom, Christian says, "Thank you, Miss Kavanagh. I'll take it from here."

After silently checking with Ana that all is well, Kate exits to make room for them, saying, "I'll say goodnight, then. Your tea is ready to pour, if you decide you want it."

Grateful for her friend's concern and cooperation, Ana warmly says, "Thanks. I'll see you in the morning."

Christian carries Ana into the bathroom and says, "I'll have to put you down to undress you."

"I'm fine, Christian. It doesn't even hurt that much." When he gently puts Ana on her feet, making no reply, she says, "Please tell me what you're thinking."

"I'm thinking that you need to clean that wound, or it could become infected."

Clearly, he's not ready to discuss her recent exodus from his car, so Ana says, "Okay, Christian. But please back off a little. It's only a scratch and I'm perfectly capable of getting into the bath without assistance."

As if she'd meant the request literally, Christian steps back, leaning against the wall and crossing his arms to watch her. Suddenly wishing she hadn't said anything, because anxious Christian watching her like a hawk is more unsettling even than overprotective Christian, Ana awkwardly undresses and slowly lowers herself through the thick layer of bubbles, relishing the feel of the stinging hot water enveloping her body.

When she's comfortable, Christian places a towel on the floor near her feet and sits down as he says, "Pass me the washcloth." And then he begins tenderly bathing Ana's feet, starting with the injured one. He's so gentle that it almost tickles and Ana has to fight the giggles again. Eventually, Christian's expression relaxes and he asks, "Something funny, Miss Steele?"

Unable to keep the laughter from her voice, Ana says, "You're washing my feet."

Christian shrugs and says, "It's my fault they're dirty."

"It was my choice to leave the car, Christian."

Another guilty shrug and Christian argues, "I didn't leave you many options."

"True. So, you're not angry with me?"

Christian shakes his head and says, "No, baby. You were right. The only thing you were in danger from tonight was me."

His choice of words reminds her of something and she says, "What were you thinking when you were about to catch me in the alley?"

Christian finally smiles and says, "Well, I don't know that I was thinking much of anything, but I'm pretty sure that I was about to fuck you. You running from me…the only thing that's more of a turn-on is you coming back to me."

"Oh." They're both quiet for a few seconds and then Ana says, "I really wish that I hadn't mentioned my feet now."

Christian laughs and says, "Serves you right for scaring me like that." And then he asks, "Were you afraid of me?"

"No…not really. But you…I felt hunted."

Christian gently kisses the sole of her foot and promises, "Always. Did you like it?"

Surprised at the answer she finds lurking at the edge of her subconscious, Ana says, "Yes, very much."

That's all it takes for the predator to return to Christian's gaze and his hand is caressing its way up Ana's calf when the doorbell rings. Closing his eyes for a second, Christian says, "That'll be Taylor. This time I really will fucking fire him."

Her body glowing from all the attention, Ana giggles and says, "No, you won't, because you'd lose Gail, too."

When Christian opens his eyes, the predator is gone and he quickly kisses her ankle before rising lithely to his feet as he says, "Time for bed."

When he's gone, Ana hops out and quickly towel dries before putting a dressing on the wound and then brushing her teeth. She can still hear Christian and Taylor talking in the living area, so risks ducking to her bedroom to don her robe. When she joins the men it's just in time to see the door closing as Taylor leaves. And then she notices the overnight bag and asks Christian, "You're staying?"

"Until you move in with me, yes. I'll be here through the week and you'll stay with me at Escala on the weekends."

"You're…wait, you live here?"

"Yes. I need…I'm going to improve, Ana, Flynn and I will make sure of it. Until then I can't risk you. It…"

Ana crosses the room into his arms as she says, "It's all right, Christian. We're okay."

Christian embraces Ana and expresses his gratitude with a kiss before asking, "You're not angry with me?"

"No. I know that me being in danger, even perceived danger, is a hard limit for you. And you _are_ improving."

Christian grimaces and says, "I don't know how you can say that, baby. All I did was make things worse, and you ended up injured."

"Hardly a serious injury. And I know that you're improving, because when I first met you this wouldn't have been enough to make you reconsider; you would have tracked me down and taken me to Escala."

Christian grins and reminisces, "And chained you to the wall in my dungeon?"

Reassured by his playful tone, Ana smiles and says, "Well, you can still do that, just not tonight." And then she rests her palms on his chest and adds, "Also, not that long ago, you would have been very angry with me for defying you."

Christian holds Ana a little tighter and lies, "I _am_ very angry with you."

Ana grins and says, "Oh? Then you won't be interested to know that I'm not wearing even a t-shirt under this robe?"

Passion flares in Christian's eyes, but he says, "Not even a little bit." And then he releases her and says, "But, if you're going to bed naked, I'll sleep in here."

Ana laughs and says, "Come on. I'll wear pajamas if you will."

Christian picks up his overnight bag and says, "I'll just brush my teeth."

Mindful of Christian's wishes, Ana bothers with t-shirt and pants before getting under the covers. She's not there long before Christian enters, carrying his jacket and bag and dressed in pajama pants and a t-shirt. He smiles on seeing her and quickly joins her under the covers. Without a word, they move towards each other until Ana is nestled against Christian's side, one leg resting between his and a hand on his chest. For his part, Christian has his arms wrapped around her, his body angled slightly towards Ana, so that he can accommodate the shape of her body and then he sighs and says, "_This_ is my home."

* * *

Where credit's due: I think it was blondegirl3 who suggested that Ana spend an evening with Kate. Thank you.

Re-bar and "Stay Tuned" exist. That's the extent of my knowledge, so don't consider their appearance in the story either an endorsement or condemnation, though they both sound like fun.


	26. Chapter 26

On the Rocks: Chapter Twenty-six

Ana smiles and says, "Mr. Grey, I'm beginning to suspect that you're a hopeless romantic."

Christian knots his fingers in Ana's hair, gently pulling until her face is angled to his, and then he says, "Miss Steele, I believe you may be right."

When he kisses her, Ana wonders if it's possible to be too happy, because her chest actually hurts trying to contain the love she feels for him. As the kiss predictably deepens, she can't help a soft whimper of longing and Christian reluctantly ends it, affectionately touching his nose to hers and releasing her hair to again embrace her as he says, "No more running, okay?"

Confident that he's sufficiently recovered, Ana grins and says, "No more kidnapping, then. And I thought you liked chasing me?"

Christian smiles and says, "I do. But only when I can be sure of catching you."

Ana smiles, remembering the predatory look on his face when he was closing on her in the alley, and then loses the smile to ask, "Is your ankle okay?"

Christian shrugs and says, "So-so. It didn't do any real damage."

Mortified that she caused him not only emotional pain, but physical as well, despite believing that she had little choice, Ana says, "I'm sorry."

"Let's just admit that we both fucked up this time and forget about it."

Ana rests her head back against his shoulder and says, "Apology accepted, Mr. Grey." Christian's only reply is to kiss her forehead. They lie together in silence for a while and then Ana says, "Change your mind?"

Christian proves that he knows she's talking about his growing erection when he says, "I told you, just ignore it."

"Easy for you to say; it's pressing against my belly."

Adjusting his body slightly, so that they'll both be able to relax, Christian says, "Just go to sleep, Ana. It's late and you have work in the morning."

Suddenly anxious, Ana says, "You're not coming with me, are you?"

Christian tenses and says, "Why not?"

"Despite arriving with a bodyguard and chauffer every morning, I've managed to keep it a secret that my boyfriend is my boss and I'd rather keep it that way."

His tone somewhat softer, Christian asks, "Because?"

Ana looks at Christian to say, "Because I don't want people to think I fucked my way into this job."

"Why do you give a fuck what strangers think about you?"

"Not strangers, Christian; peers and colleagues. There's stuff about _your_ life that you don't want colleagues to know."

"Technically, all I've ever had are employees, but I take your point. And I was only going to carpool with you. Just because I'm cutting back on my hours, doesn't mean that I've retired." And then Christian grins and says, "I mean, if that's okay with you?"

Reassured, Ana again snuggles against him as she says, "Yes, thank you."

They're again quiet for a while and Ana is almost asleep when Christian says, "And what will your colleagues think when you're suddenly Mrs. Grey?" When several seconds pass without a reply, Christian quietly asks, "Ana?"

"I'm asleep."

Christian chuckles and says, "You know that we'll need to face this eventually, right?" When Ana fakes soft snoring noises, Christian laughs again and says, "Okay, baby. Goodnight."

* * *

Ana wakes in darkness, feeling far too warm, to find a sleeping Christian sprawled almost on top of her; his head on her chest, a leg resting across her hips and one hand resting on her midriff under the t-shirt. And she knows that his apparent acceptance of last night's drama was a front if he's upset enough to seek comfort in his sleep. Daring to gently run one hand through his hair, she's thinking back over the past week, how much has happened and how far they've come in their bid to mesh two very different lives together, when the hand against her skin stirs and Christian says, "Mmm, that's nice."

"Christian, can you move, please? It's too hot with you as a blanket." Ana feels his dick come to life against her hip, even as his hand slides up to rest between her breasts. Pleasure flooding though her body in delicious anticipation, Ana nevertheless asks, "Christian, are you awake?"

Christian looks up at her to say, "Yes, baby, I'm awake. Why?"

"I thought you weren't going to fuck me until tomorrow?"

With a glance at the clock, showing 1:36am, Christian says, "It _is_ tomorrow. You wouldn't have let me continue if I were asleep?"

Embarrassed, and without knowing why, Ana says, "Well, you said no sex, so…" At his smug grin, she says, "What?"

"I think there's far more of the submissive in you than you're yet prepared to admit."

Suddenly afraid, again without knowing why, Ana struggles against him as she says, "Just get off me, Christian. I'm too hot."

Showing no sign of obliging, Christian says, "I'll move if you tell me why you ran from the car."

Pushing futilely against him, Ana says, "You know why I ran; psychotic boyfriend had kidnapped me."

Apparently unperturbed by her taunt, Christian says, "No, that's why you defied me. I want to know why you ran, when all you had to do was wait until we got to Escala and then leave."

Panic rising in her at whatever answer is concealed within her subconscious, Ana says, "Please, Christian, just get off me. I can't think."

Christian studies her face for a few seconds, his thoughts hidden from Ana, and then he suddenly rolls onto his back and rests his hands behind his head as he says, "Okay, babe."

Suddenly bereft of his touch, her heart still pounding from the anxiety his question had inspired in her, Ana tries to process why his voice sounds so alien and then she feels almost ill as she says, "You're disappointed."

Her suspicions are confirmed when Christian says nothing. Now just as desperate for his touch as she had been for his absence only seconds earlier, Ana nestles against his side, one hand on his chest. Christian puts an arm around her and says, "Thought you were too hot?"

Fighting the urge to cry, Ana begs, "Please don't be disappointed in me."

Christian sighs and says, "It's okay, babe. I understand about fear, believe me."

Her voice almost a sob, Ana says, "I'm sorry."

Christian brings his other hand down to cover hers where it rests on his chest, even as he begins those magically calming circles on Ana's back and he says, "Sshh, go to sleep. We're okay."

Ana's throat begins to ache with her efforts to contain the words she needs to say, but she somehow finds the courage to push past that wall and softly pleads, "Bully me."

Christian's entire body tenses, and then he asks, "You're sure?" When Ana only nods against his chest, he says, "You know how to stop me?" When she again merely nods, he commands, "Say it."

"Yellowred."

As if he'd been somehow preparing for this moment, Christian spins Ana so that she's face down on the bed with her head turned to the side. In the next breath, he drags her arms almost painfully across her back and holds them there with one hand. And then he bends her legs behind her until her feet actually touch her back, pushing his body weight against her until she feels as if she can't breathe.

Not that she ever had a hope of being strong enough to stop him, but Ana doesn't fight his efforts. She knows that he's doing exactly as asked. However, that cannot stop her body from reacting in terror to being so completely trapped and her muscles painfully tense as they prepare for flight. Suddenly, she understands what Christian is doing, when she realizes that the last time she felt this fear was in the car, watching Escala loom over her like an adversary.

And then it gets worse, when Christian grabs her hair and pulls her head back. Now truly on the edge of panic, her heart pounding loud in her ears and every cell in her body rebelling against being so utterly subjugated, Ana suddenly and mystifyingly accepts her fate. In that moment, she relaxes, all her concerns leaving her body in one, long sigh, leaving only a slight trembling of reaction to the adrenalin coursing through her body. Only then does Christian growl, "Why did you run?"

Her voice sounding foreign to her ears, Ana says, "I saw Escala."

His domineering tone sending another shiver along Ana's skin, Christian commands, "Stop fucking with me. Why did you run?"

"I…I couldn't let you take me to Escala."

Ana wonders if she imagines a slight slackening of the pressure on her body when Christian then asks only, "Why?"

It's as if the answer is shrouded by mist within Ana's mind, constantly shifting so that she never catches more than a glimpse of it, and she hesitantly says, "Because…I…I just couldn't."

It's definitely not her imagination this time when the pressure on her limbs eases a little and Christian lets Ana's head fall forward. Worried that he's giving up, even as some part of her is relieved that the torture is over, Ana is about to beg him to continue when she's suddenly trapped again, her legs and arms stretched behind her and her head pulled back until her neck muscles put pressure on her throat. Wondering how it can be possible for her body to again panic, Ana notices her involuntary reaction as if it's happening to someone else. Detached from the moment, she surveys the scene, marveling at how her muscles again relax and then the tears flow unhindered as Ana reveals, "If we'd made it to Escala, I would have never left."

Without ever losing contact with her body, Christian releases Ana and massages her shoulders and then her legs as she sobs uncontrollably. As the sobs subside to soft weeping, he turns Ana towards him and cradles her to his chest, tenderly kissing first her lips and then her eyes as he asks, "Why?"

Smiling through the tears, Ana says, "You know why."

With a relieved smile, Christian says, "Yes, but you need to say it."

Resting one had on his chest to feel his reassuring heartbeat, Ana says, "I would have stayed because you wished it."

Despite obviously expecting this answer, Christian gasps and then sighs before asking, "So, you'll move in?"

Smiling at his eager tone, Ana says, "Yes."

"Soon?"

"Very soon."

With a grin, Christian says, "Now, admit that you're submissive."

Beaming her gratitude at him, Ana shakes her head and says, "No."

Suddenly on her back, with her arms held above her head, and pinned by Christian's body, Ana is again ordered, "Admit that you're submissive."

The already forgotten tears still fresh on her face, Ana's laugh is pure joy when she insists, "No."

Without a trace of anger, Christian smilingly says, "Ana, we both know it's true. I just proved it. Even if I hadn't, it's the only explanation for the intense attraction we both felt on meeting each other. Now just fucking admit that you want to submit to me."

Almost giddy with happiness at his playful mood, Ana stares straight into his eyes and says, "Never."

Christian growls in mock frustration and then asks, "Will you always defy me?"

Apparently unable to stop smiling, Ana says, "Yes, Sir."

Passion flares in Christian's eyes and then he says, "Would you like me to fuck you now?"

Suddenly worried that he might use such a wish against her, Ana carefully asks, "Is that what _you_ want?"

With a kind smile, Christian says, "I promised that I'd never use your body's need for me to win an argument, Ana. Did you think that I'd forgotten?"

In truth, she had forgotten, and Ana says, "Sorry."

Christian suddenly releases Ana and rolls off her to lie on his side facing her, and then he gently wipes the few remaining tears from her face before saying, "Time for sleep. We'll fuck tonight."

At first hurt, Ana then notices that her need for comfort is currently greater than her need for sex and she turns on her side to look at Christian as she says, "Thank you, darling."

Christian's breath hitches and then he releases his desire in one, long breath and says, "Unless you keep saying that."

Ana unconvincingly says, "Sorry."

Christian smiles at her lie and then asks, "How do you feel?"

He seems genuinely concerned, so Ana takes a moment to assess her feelings and then says, "Okay. Confused, tired, thirsty, but good…uh, lighter, if that makes sense?"

Christian smiles and says, "Yes, baby, perfect sense." And then he quickly kisses her and says, "I can help with the thirsty. Don't go anywhere."

Christian is at the door, smiling back at Ana when the sudden knock on the door makes him jump and clutch his chest in shock. Ana giggles as he opens the door to reveal a very nervous Kate. Her face registers surprise on seeing Christian and she looks past him to ask Ana, "You okay, sweetie? I heard crying."

"I'm fine. Just working through some stuff."

Kate then warily eyes Christian and asks Ana, "You sure?"

Without a word, Christian steps aside, motioning for Kate to enter as he says, "Miss Kavanagh. Would you care for a glass of water?"

Suddenly unsure of herself, Kate enters as she says, "Uh, no, thank you."

Christian smiles as he heads to the kitchen, with a bathroom break on the way, so that the women will have time for a chat. When he returns with the glass of water, Kate is sitting on top of the covers as she and Ana embrace. He leers and purrs, "Now there's a pretty picture." At Ana's glare, he says, "Joking, babe. Do you need more time?"

It's Kate who says, "No. We're done." Christian waits, glass in hand, as Kate leaves. He smiles in bemused surprise when she affectionately punches his arm on the way past, saying, "Night, Grey."

With a polite nod, Christian says, "Sleep well, Miss Kavanagh." She's almost to the door when Christian winks at Ana and says, "Good thing I didn't fuck you just now."

Ana has to put both hands over her mouth to stifle her giggle when Kate's only reply is to slam the door on the way out. And then she says, "You should be nice to Kate. She's on your side."

Christian hands Ana the glass of water and carefully climbs into bed as he says, "I am nice to her. How many people do you see me teasing?"

Thinking about it, Ana can only recall him teasing her, Brit and his family, so she smiles and says, "Thank you, Christian."

"You're welcome. Now drink your water, so you can get some sleep."

Ana quickly drains half the glass and then returns to her favorite place in Christian's arms as she says, "Aren't you going to ask me what Kate and I talked about?"

His cheek resting against the top of Ana's head, Christian says, "Are you going to tell me?"

Ana smiles and says, "Maybe."

Christian is quiet for several seconds before he asks, "I'm guessing that I featured somehow in the conversation?"

Ana smiles at her victory, such as it is, and says, "Yes. I told her that I'll be moving in with you soon."

Ana wonders if she imagines a slight tremor through Christian's body and then he says, "I presume she cautioned you against the idea?"

"Surprisingly, no. She appears to think that I'm capable of making my own decisions about such things."

Proving that he knows Ana is gently chastising him, Christian says, "Yes, well, perhaps she doesn't know you very well."

"I'm not sure even I know me very well. Thanks, for helping me understand."

Christian kisses her forehead and says, "You ready to admit it, yet?"

Just the thought of giving that much of herself away returns Ana's fear with a vengeance. Suddenly desperate for comfort, she warns, "I need your skin."

Christian tenses, but does nothing to stop Ana from reaching up under his t-shirt to rest her hand on his chest. She can feel his heart rate soar at the contact, but it soon settles down and then he asks, "Want the shirt gone?"

Fighting tears, Ana shakes her head and says, "This is enough."

Christian lifts Ana's face to his with a hand on her chin. He studies her face for a few seconds and then says, "Why are you so afraid of saying the words? I recognized you as a submissive the moment I looked in your eyes. But, heart-stopping moments aside, I really do enjoy it when you defy me and I promise, baby, that I won't treat you any different than I do now." And then he forces a grin and says, "Other than my victory dance, of course."

Smiling her gratitude at his effort to lighten the mood, Ana says, "This one has nothing to do with you, Christian. I…all my life I've been what people need of me and I think…I think that I got lost somewhere. Now it feels like...it's the same as fear of dying to contemplate being anything else."

Christian releases her chin and says, "I wish you'd consider seeing a shrink. It doesn't have to be Flynn, but you know that I can afford the best and it might make things easier for you."

Ana rests her against his shoulder and says, "I'll think about it. But I don't have much faith in them after Dad's experiences, and Flynn doesn't seem to have done much for you."

Christian's tenses and too calmly asks, "What makes you think that?"

Wondering how much trouble she's in, Ana says, "Uh, because…you're not going to get mad?"

Christian takes one, deep breath and says, "No. But, FYI; what I did just now is one of the things he taught me."

After taking a moment to organize her thoughts, Ana says, "You've been undergoing therapy for what; twenty three years?"

"On and off. I had moments of rebellion where I'd simply refuse to go. I haven't done that since meeting Flynn."

"Okay, call it twenty years then. Near as I can tell, in that time the only thing you've learned about yourself is that you need to beat women who remind you of your mother before fucking them." Ana feels Christian again tense at her words, but she continues, "And we both know that's simply not true." Her heart pounding, Ana tries to remember to trust him as she concludes, "And…and you didn't even learn that much from a shrink. You got it from _her_."

Ana waits, her heart in her throat, for Christian's reaction. When it happens, it's not what she was expecting. He simply moves out of their embrace, to sit up and run both hands through his hair before saying, "That's…it's not their fault."

Desperate to touch Christian, but mindful of his needs, Ana sits up, cross-legged, to face him and pleads, "Tell me."

With a shrug of his shoulders that is little more than a twitch of guilt, Christian explains, "I couldn't trust anyone for years. You know that I didn't even speak for a while. And then I developed my favorite hobby; torturing therapists. It was almost too easy to mess with them once I learned the basics. So, until my parents were lucky enough to find Flynn, I went through a _lot_ of shrinks. But John…he's different. He doesn't tell me to do anything. He doesn't label me…well, I presume his files need such precision, but he flat out refuses to voice the accepted terms in our sessions. He simply addresses whatever…symptoms are currently causing a problem in my life."

"Symptoms?"

"Yeah, though he doesn't even use that label, just asks if I have any concerns and we go from there."

Almost afraid of the answer, Ana asks, "And he was your shrink when…when _she_ got hold of you?"

Christian glares a caution at her tone, but doesn't reprimand her, and says, "Yes, but he knew nothing of that until the day I said that I didn't want to see him anymore." Christian finally smiles and says, "Poor bastard had thought that therapy was working, because I hadn't been in trouble for a while. He asked for an explanation as to why I was ending our sessions and…I don't know why I told him. At that stage I was still consumed by self-loathing at what I felt were…disgusting doesn't seem strong enough for how I felt about my deviant urges. Maybe I somehow sensed that he'd understand, or felt obligated. Anyway, I confessed, and then he did something no other shrink has ever done for me; shared something of himself."

"I thought they didn't do that?"

"It's strongly discouraged. But it was exactly what I needed. If he hadn't done that…" With an embarrassed grin, Christian explains, "You think I'm messed up now. If we'd met back then I would have used you up and tossed you aside for the next one. Flynn…you should be sending _him_ flowers."

Ana nods as she considers his words and then asks, "How old were you?"

"About sixteen…oh, you would have been ten." Christian smiles and says, "Okay, so I wouldn't have even noticed you."

"Did you only have sex with her?"

Studying her face for clues as to her mood, Christian says, "No. Elena has never been possessive in that way, and encouraged me to experiment with other women…girls, at that time; though always girls older than me." Ana is quiet for so long that he asks, "You okay?"

Ana loses the faraway look and then smiles before saying, "I was just thinking…if I'd met you when I was younger, no way I would have stayed a virgin until twenty-one."

Christian's smile is radiant and then he promises, "Sweetheart, I guarantee it."

Deducing that it's now safe to approach him, Ana straddles Christian's lap, and threads her hands through his hair before kissing him, pausing only long enough to make sure that he's willing. It's Ana who finally ends the kiss and shifts slightly against his erection as she jokes, "It's back."

Christian offers a lazy, contented smile and says, "Yes. Poor bastard nearly disappeared when Kate knocked on the door."

Ana smiles and leaves his lap to climb back under the covers as she says, "Good."

Christian mirrors her movements, once again settling into an embrace with his arms around Ana as he asks, "Good?"

Ana looks up at him to explain, "Yes. It's good that my best friend appearing at the bedroom door makes your dick want to flee, because I have no interest in sharing you, Mr. Grey."

Christian kisses her again and says, "That, at least, we're simpatico about. I have no wish to share you, either." And then he asks, "You'll consider it?"

"Seeing a shrink?" At his nod, Ana says, "Okay. I'll call Flynn when I'm ready."

"Thank you, baby. I really think it'll help. For now, sleep; you're exhausted."

Only at his words does Ana notice she can barely keep her eyes open, but she's not quite done defying him and jokes, "Yes, Master."

Passion flares in Christian's eyes and he actually holds his breath for a few seconds before gently releasing it, once again under control, and then his voice holds an edge of violence as he says, "Dangerous waters, baby, sure you want to swim there?"

Her heart thrilling at the power she has over him, Ana rests her head against his shoulder and murmurs, "I'm asleep." Christian only chuckles and very soon Ana does fall asleep, the sound of his joyful laughter echoing in her mind.

* * *

Where credit's due: To AriadneInNaxos, for invaluable assistance on this one. It's possible that I could have done it without you, but I doubt it. At the very least, it would have taken me much longer to find the courage to proceed. Thank you.


	27. Chapter 27

On the Rocks: Chapter Twenty-seven

When Ana wakes to daylight, she's alone in the bed. She smiles on remembering that Christian now lives with her and goes looking for him. He's sitting at the kitchen counter, sipping coffee and reading a newspaper. At some point he's changed into sweats and has done just that; his t-shirt darkened by perspiration in all the right places. He looks up as she approaches, and turns towards her, smiling as he says, "Hey, baby. Sleep well?"

Ana returns his smile and says, "I did, thank you. How about you? Where did you work out? And since when do we get the paper delivered?"

Christian smiles at the barrage of questions and then says, "Uh, I'm glad you slept, not very well, I went for a run, and bought the paper when I did so."

Tapping his thigh so he'll part his legs, Ana stands between his knees and rests her hands on his hips as she says, "How come you get to go for a run?"

"Taylor and Prescott came with me. Want me to wake you next time?"

"No, that's okay. I think that I'll enjoy martial arts more. Wait…you left me here without protection?"

Christian smiles and explains, "Baby, I spent twelve thousand dollars beefing up security on this place; only Escala is safer." Her mouth is still hanging open at the extravagance of his gesture when Christian kisses her as if they've been apart for days. Wondering how even coffee tastes good when it comes from him, Ana returns the gesture while Christian's passion reclaims her from the lips down, pleasure coursing from her mouth to her groin and back again. This time, when Kate interrupts with gagging noises, Christian doesn't at first respond. Eventually ending the kiss, he touches his nose to Ana's and whispers, "Move in soon." And then he reluctantly lifts his head and brightly says, "Morning, Miss Kavanagh. Bathroom free?"

"Morning, Grey. All yours."

Christian quickly kisses Ana and then slides an unadorned, wrapped package, about the size of a small book, towards her and says, "Oh, I got you something." As Ana opens her mouth to speak, he says, "Before you complain, it wasn't that expensive and, besides, I bought it years ago." With a shrug, he adds, "Technically, it'll be yours soon anyway, but…well, you'll see why I couldn't wait."

Smiling at his rant, Ana then says, "I was only going to thank you. I'd still rather you didn't go overboard, but Kate has pointed out that it's unfair not to let you express your adoration of me with gifts."

Christian's gaze flicks to Kate and he says, "Did she, indeed? Thank you, Miss Kavanagh." When Kate only nods her acknowledgement of his words, Christian gestures to the table and says to Ana, "Your breakfast is ready. I won't be long."

When he's gone, Ana is still staring at the gift, hoping that it's nothing too extravagant, when Kate quietly asks, "It'll be yours soon, anyway?"

Ana colors slightly and says, "Yes, he wants to marry me."

"Fuck, Ana, he's already asked you? You barely know each other."

"No, well, not exactly…he more sort of talks about it as a foregone conclusion. He maintains that there's no point asking me until I'm ready."

"Well, I sincerely hope that you won't be ready any time soon."

"I don't think so. But every day I'm learning that I have no clue who I am, except when I'm with him."

"Are you sure it's not the other way round; that you're not losing yourself in him? I've made that mistake, and it takes a lot to come back from that place."

So Kate won't be in any doubt, Ana looks at her to explain, "I've had to be the strong one ever since I can remember; looking after Mom, and then Ray..." With a kind smile to lessen the impact, Ana continues, "Even you, at times. But, with Christian…he wants to take care of _me_…more than that, he actually needs it." Ana smiles as she voices this truth for the first time, saying, "You've no idea how much I've longed for that, but it had become something so unattainable…like a fantasy, so that I actually convinced myself otherwise. Somehow, Christian recognized that need in me the day we met, and he's being remarkably gentle about helping me see it."

"Gentle? I heard the sobbing, Ana."

Losing patience with her friend's well-meaning interference, Ana takes a calming breath and says, "I explained that last night. I asked Christian to help me work through some emotional stuff. Once he was sure it was what I really wanted, he did as I asked. He'll always be what I need. I'm willing to bet everything I have on that fact."

Clearly still unconvinced, Kate says, "So, what are you going to do; sit around his apartment all day, having kids and growing fat while he does everything for you?"

Shaking her head, Ana protests, "That's not how he wants to take care of me. He wants me to have a career. And he's actually expressed a wish that I become more confident amongst strangers. His jealousy and concern for my safety keep getting in the way, but Christian's desire is my pleasure, in all things."

"Well, when you put it like that, it doesn't sound too bad. And what is your desire for him?"

That one, at least, is easy and Ana smiles before saying, "I want his scars to heal."

"Sweetie, scars don't…oh, inside scars."

"Exactly."

Seemingly mollified, Kate shrugs and says, "If you're sure." And then she gestures to the gift and asks, "Well?"

Ana opens the package to find a first edition copy of _E. E. Cummings, A Miscellany_. There's a simple thankyou card bookmarking one page. Ana opens it to find a short message in Christian's handwriting and reads aloud, "There is no one I'd rather have by my side in this battle." It doesn't take long to find the relevant passage and Ana reads out, "To be nobody-but-yourself, in a world which is doing its best, night and day, to make you everybody else, means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight; and never stop fighting."

Kate smiles on seeing the tears welling in Ana's eyes and says, "The guy has class, I'll give him that. Granola or shower?"

At first confused, Ana blushes and says, "Granola. He doesn't want to have sex until later."

With a glance towards the bathroom, Kate lowers her voice and says, "And he doesn't know you're moving in tonight?"

Ana only shakes her head and then says, "I'd better eat, or the nervousness is going to make me faint."

From the doorway, a freshly showered and changed Christian asks, "Nervous about what, Miss Steele?"

Before a startled Ana has time to speak, Kate says, "Time for work." And then she kisses Ana's cheek and whispers, "Call me."

When Kate has beaten a hasty retreat, Ana says, "Thank you for the gift, Christian. It's wonderful."

Christian approaches close enough to study Ana's face and then his expression softens and he wipes a stray tear from Ana's cheek as he says, "I mean it." And then he withdraws from her as if with great effort and says, "You'd better hurry up if you want breakfast. I'll pour your tea."

Glad to have dodged a bullet and genuinely grateful, Ana says, "Thank you, Christian."

He only smiles as he goes about making her cup of tea, leaving the strength up to Ana. And then he sits opposite her and asks, "Nervousness?"

Almost choking on her granola, Ana thinks desperately as she chews and swallows, then settles for not quite a lie when she says, "I'm nervous about tonight."

Christian frowns and says, "Specifically?"

Relieved that she won't have to lie to him, Ana says, "You're going to gag me."

With a grin, Christian says, "Worried that you won't be able to interrupt me this time?" And then he sobers and asks, "What, specifically, scares you?"

"Uh, well, I've never done it, so fear of the unknown. And what if I get dizzy again and can't tell you? Or I have trouble breathing?"

"Silent safe words, Ana. Just remember to use them, if necessary, and you'll be fine. And I'll be monitoring you, baby. I won't let you get hurt."

Reassured on that matter, Ana smiles and says, "Thank you." And then she asks, "You going to tell me what you have planned?"

"Not yet…not unless you need it. But I'll explain everything tonight, so that you'll understand what you're getting into, okay?"

Ana somehow knows that this delighted undercurrent of excitement running through her body as she tries to imagine what he has in store for her is exactly what he wants, so she smiles and says, "Okay."

Christian smiles his gratitude for her trust and then says, "Now, hurry up, or you'll be late for work."

After several seconds of trying to eat with Christian watching her, Ana says, "Could you please find something else to do?"

Christian chuckles and says "Sure, baby," and returns to reading his newspaper at the counter.

Ana finishes her breakfast and gets ready for work as quickly as possible. Christian is still where she left him, though the dirty dishes are gone, and she says, "You loaded the dishwasher?"

Christian shrugs and says, "Well, there's no room for Gail here, so I'll have to learn this stuff."

Ana almost tells him then. Instead, she says, "That reminds me. When I move in, can I cook on her days off?"

"You want to?"

"Yes."

"Why?"

With a shrug, Ana says, "I like cooking."

Eyeing her speculatively, Christian commands, "Come here."

Unconcerned, Ana returns to her earlier position between Christian's knees as she cheerfully says, "Yes, Sir."

Watching her reaction, Christian asks, "Is that the only reason?"

When she sees the scary answer lurking on the edge of her subconscious, Ana recalls, with a tremor of remembered fear and excitement, what it felt like to be helpless at his hands. But this time all it takes is for Ana to lean her head back and sigh her fears away. And then, her voice serene, Ana says, "No. I'd also like to cook for us."

Still regarding her intently, Christian asks, "Not for me?"

It appears a genuine question, so Ana considers before saying, "No, for _us_. I want to share dinner with you whenever I can."

Apparently satisfied with her answer, Christian kisses her and then says, "You did that one from memory, didn't you?" At Ana's nod, he declares, "I love your imagination." Pretending that he's initiating one of her favorite games, Ana reaches to unbutton Christian's shirt, but he captures her hands and kisses them in turn before saying, "Oh, no. Time for work."

After locking up, they head hand-in-hand to the car. Taylor, of course, is driving and Ana finally gets to meet the elusive Prescott; an attractive but plain looking woman with the intense gaze that Ana has come to expect from the security personnel. As Christian is holding Ana's door for her, Taylor hands him a manila folder. After entering the car, Christian puts it on the seat beside him and reclaims Ana's hand. At her curious glance, he smiles and says, "Report of last night's incident." His voice rising to a volume that will ensure Taylor hears, he continues, "I'll probably have to fire his ass again."

Taylor heads for SIP as he says, "Yes, sir."

Ana laughs at their odd game and then, wondering how comprehensive the report is, decides that Christian needs to know everything, so she says, "Uh, I don't know if it's in there, but…I offered her a job."

At first confused, Christian's gaze darkens as he asks, "The reporter?"

Suddenly very worried about his reaction, Ana doesn't bother to remind him that Fiona isn't a reporter, instead saying only, "Yes."

She watches in fascination as Christian uses whatever anger management technique he's learned and brings himself under control before asking, "Why?"

Ana squeezes his hand and whispers, "Thank you." And then she takes a deep breath and says, "Because everything that made her such a nuisance to us will also make her a valuable employee, and I believe that she's someone who can be trusted."

"And something about keeping your enemies closer?"

Breathing a sigh of relief that he's calm enough to discuss it, Ana says, "And that."

Christian considers for a few seconds and then says, "I'll want Welch to know more before you proceed, and one of the team must be present whenever you meet with her."

Ana ponders these restrictions and then says, "I can live with that. I'm meeting her on Monday. Is that enough time?"

"When Monday?"

"Uh, we didn't set a time. But, if I'm right about her, she'll be waiting when I get to work."

Christian slowly nods and says, "Okay."

Not quite sure if she's comprehended correctly, Ana asks, "Okay, you'll let me hire her?"

"I've promised not to interfere in your career, Ana, and I believe this comes under that heading. Besides, you're a good judge of character. Even if you weren't, Taylor agrees with you, and he's very good at reading people."

Surprised, Ana's gaze flicks to Taylor and back again before she asks, "You already know about this?"

Smiling, Christian says, "No. That's how I know he agrees with you. If he thought you were taking a risk, he would have already told me. Right, Taylor?"

"Yes, sir."

Pleased with how well the conversation went, Ana leans against Christian's shoulder and then says, "Do you get a written report about everything I do?"

"No; only at my request. We need to make sure this never happens again."

"Can I read it?"

Christian hands over the folder as he asks, "Sure, but why? You were there."

Sitting up to read it, Ana explains, "I don't think that I'd behave differently if the same thing happened today, but I want to see it written down and make sure that I didn't do anything…"

"Stupid?"

Ana smiles at Christian's interruption and says, "Foolhardy. And I don't have a monopoly on stupid behavior, Mr. Grey."

Suitably chastised, Christian smiles and says, "Point well made, Miss Steele."

Speed-reading the report, Ana finishes as they approach SIP and returns the folder, saying, "Thank you." At Christian's questioning look, she says, "The only thing I would have done differently is let Taylor see the photo being deleted. I didn't need to actually approach her."

Christian smiles his victory and says, "So, you're saying I was right and you were wrong."

"I didn't say any such thing."

Still with that smug grin, Christian says, "I cautioned you about never approaching a suspect."

And then Ana recalls the heated conversation, just before she bolted from his car, and she concedes, "Perhaps."

Prescott is already exiting the car to open Ana's door when Christian commands, "Say the words."

Wondering how he can seem so much older than his years at times, and so immature at others, Ana only becomes aware that she's rolled her eyes at Christian by the reaction on his face and her heart beats faster as she immediately amends, "I'm sorry."

His intense gaze piercing her as a hawk studies its prey, Christian vows, "Not yet. And that's not the words to which I was referring."

His formal turn of phrase confirming that she's in big trouble, Ana says, "You were right and I was wrong. I'll never approach a suspect again."

His voice too calm and his smile forced, Christian says, "Now was that so hard?"

Daring to hope that it's enough, Ana exits the car, only to find that Christian has done so as well, and she warily asks, "What are you doing?"

With no hint that it has anything to do with her, Christian eyes the building and says, "I think that it's time I saw my publishing business from the inside."

Ana knows that nothing she says will dissuade Christian now that he's decided on her punishment, so she crosses her arms and says, "Then I'm not going in."

In what Ana knows is a deceptively tranquil tone, Christian promises, "So, we'll do this another day."

Imagining trying to interview an already nervous Fiona on Monday with Christian tagging along, Ana resigns herself to her fate and shrugs as she says, "It's your company."

Christian appears wary at her apparent surrender, but then gestures for Ana to precede him as he says, "After you, Miss Steele."

Prescott then asks, "Sir?"

Barely glancing at the security officer, Christian says, "Oh, don't worry. I'll be close enough to Miss Steele that you'll be able to watch us both." And then he chuckles at Ana's groan of despair.

"Not that, sir. You've expressed concern about keeping Miss Steele's connection with you a secret?"

That wipes the seemingly permanent grin from his face and Christian says, "Fuck!"

Glancing around the currently deserted alley that accesses the service entrance, Ana stands before Christian and puts her arms up over his shoulders, silently asking for an embrace, and asks, "Playful/angry?"

Christian hesitates a second, but then relents and puts his arms around Ana as he says, "Currently leaning towards angry."

"What time is your appointment with Flynn?"

"After lunch."

Confident that he'll make it fun, Ana smiles and says, "Then you've got time to come up with a suitable punishment."

Ana can see and feel the anger leave Christian's body, but he maintains an air of indignation as he says, "You _do_ know that it's not punishment if I have your permission?"

Standing on her toes, so that she can whisper in his ear, Ana gently reminds him, "You _do_ know that I love you beyond any hope of redemption?"

Like a man drowning, in need of salvation, Christian crushes Ana to him and groans before saying, "You'd better go, before I can't let you."

Elated that he's chosen her over anger, Ana giggles and says, "That would require my feet being on the ground."

Christian releases Ana so suddenly that he then has to grasp her forearm to steady her as he cautions, "Easy."

Ana clutches his sleeve, just as reluctant to say goodbye, when Prescott says, "Time."

Ana looks up, to see a delivery van approaching. When she glances back at Christian, he's already inside the car, closing the door. With the gesture feeling so alien that Ana wonders if she's ever done it before, she blows him a kiss before entering the building.

* * *

Ana is reading through the second manuscript for the day, making notes as she goes, when she gets the memo about an imminent meeting. Glancing over the email, she sees that it's been copied to all the editorial staff, which doesn't amount to many people in a publishing house this size. Only when her eyes alight on the words "new owner" does she realize that Christian has thought of a suitable punishment for her impudence this morning. Her heart beating more with excitement than fear, Ana notices that she has just enough time to spruce up. Prescott, of course, is hovering nearby, so Ana lets her know what's going on before heading to the bathroom.

After a few frantic minutes in front of the mirror, prolonged by her trembling fingers, Ana makes herself as beautiful as possible under the circumstances and then joins her colleagues in the conference room; her boss, David, is already there, as are Lilly, Ben and, of course, an immaculately dressed Christian Grey. No one is yet seated, and it looks like introductions are still being made. As she enters, David says, "Ah, and here's Ana; my assistant. Despite being with us only a short time, she's quickly made herself indispensable to me." Glancing at Christian, he continues, "Ana, this is Christian Grey, the new owner of SIP. We've been in contact since he took over and he asked for this meeting today because he's keen to gain everyone's input on how we can improve things around here and grow as a company." Only a slowing of David's normally allegro speech pattern indicates any fear that said improvements might cost him his job.

Blushing under the uncharacteristic praise, Ana walks towards them as a lamb led to slaughter, and mutters, "Sorry I'm late."

Christian offers his hand and warmly says, "Miss Steele."

Accepting the gesture and blushing still further, Ana says, "Mr. Grey."

Christian's hand encloses hers almost long enough to breach propriety, and his concealed caress on the inside of her wrist, sending jolts of pleasure up her arm, most definitely crosses that line as he seductively croons, "You should never become indispensable, Miss Steele; if you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted."

Considering that the next step up the editorial ladder is David's job, Ana shoots a nervous glance at her boss before saying, "Uh, I still have a lot to learn, and David is a pleasure to work for." She only realizes that it was the wrong choice of words when Christian's eyes narrow dangerously, but he says nothing.

Finally releasing Ana's hand, leaving tingling aftershocks as a reminder of the contact, Christian gestures to the table and addresses everyone when he says, "Well, shall we begin?"

Relieved that she'll be able to put enough distance between her and Christian that she'll have some hope of remaining professional, Ana takes a seat as far as possible from him without attracting attention. And then she has to suppress a groan of dismay when Christian doesn't sit down, instead prowling around the room like a panther, firing off questions about the team's work that prove he really has been paying attention since buying SIP. Acutely aware of every move he makes, Ana struggles to pay attention to what's being said, responding like an inarticulate robot every time someone asks her a direct question, and furiously taking notes as directed by David, when all she can think about is Christian; his warm voice, intoxicating scent and the fact that he looks almost too good to exist amongst mere humans.

Finally, it appears over, though Ana doesn't dare relax, when Christian says, "Well, I think that'll do for now. I'm confident that we can implement those changes without upsetting things too much." And then he addresses David to say, "No offence Wintershoven, but I'll need a few minutes alone with each of your team, and then we'll call it a day."

Obviously uncomfortable at the subtle inference that his employees might have something different to say when he's not in the room, David nevertheless graciously says, "Of course, if they're amenable."

Ben stays behind for his interview with Christian. Outside the room everyone is in a kind of shock. Ana looks at them in wonder, realizing that she probably has that same dazed, disbelieving look on her face after every encounter with Christian. Finally David breaks the silence, saying, "Intense young man, isn't he?"

Lilly, lust practically dripping from her voice, nods and says, "And kind of dreamy."

Despite her attempts to remain in control, a high-pitched giggle escapes Ana's throat, sounding somewhat strangled, causing her colleagues to look at her with sudden interest and she says, "David, can I have a minute?"

Frowning in concern, David says, "Of course, Ana." As they head towards his office, he asks, "You okay?"

Aware that Lilly is within earshot, Ana says only, "I'm fine." Once inside his office, Ana takes a deep breath and reveals, "Christian is my boyfriend."

At first confused, David says, "Christian is…" And then he glances towards the conference room and says, "Grey? Christian Grey is your…is this some sort of game, Ana?"

Ana knew it would be difficult for him to accept. To save time she gestures to his laptop and asks, "May I?"

At his nod, she quickly finds the one photo of her and Christian and steps aside for David to look at it. After a moment, he says, "So…is he the reason you have this job, or are you the reason he bought this company?"

Grateful that his perpetual good manners prevent him from making any direct accusations of impropriety, Ana says, "I'm the reason he bought the company. He's a little…protective. I doubt he's ever bothered with a business our size, certainly not lately. But it'll be a good thing, in the long run. Buying businesses and improving them is what he does. But I'm sure you know that.

Clearly still confused, David says, "But…you've been in shock since he got here. You didn't know about this meeting?"

Ana actually laughs at that and says, "No, I didn't. He likes to surprise me."

"And you're telling me all this because…?"

"Because…you seem nervous, and I want you to know that…I'm not sure, actually. But I'm happy working for you. In the short time I've been here, I've learned far more than I did in years of study, and…and I don't want things to change."

Finally beginning to understand, David says, "You think that you can make sure I keep my job."

Breathing a sigh of relief that he doesn't appear upset, Ana declares, "I know I can. But you don't need me on your side. Christian has a knack for recognizing people's talents, and he will have already decided that you're doing a good job, or he would have replaced you before now. I guess…I just wanted to be honest with you and ease any fears you might have about your career."

"What make you think I'm afraid?"

Ana smiles and says, "Most of the time you speak so fast that I have trouble keeping up. But you've slowed down since Christian got here."

David also smiles and says, "Well, he's a little intimidating."

Ana laughs and says, "Yes, he is." Suddenly back to nervous again, Ana asks, "You're okay with this?"

With a shrug, David says, "Doesn't really have anything to do with me, does it? I presume he won't be dropping by every day?"

"No. But…we're doing what we can to keep things quiet. But not even Christian's money can protect me forever. I'm afraid that all too soon I won't be able to go anywhere without reporters hounding me."

David glances at the door as if he can see Prescott through it, and says, "Oh, that's why the bodyguard. I'd assumed you were some sort of trust fund baby intent on making your own way in the world."

Ana smiles at the description and says, "Sorry to burst that bubble."

David shrugs and says, "Well, billionaire boyfriend is almost as good a story; a story that shall remain between us for now."

Confident that she could trust him, Ana still breathes a sigh of relief and says, "Thank you."

Ana jumps at the knock on the door. David grants them entrance to find that it's Lilly, who pokes her head in only long enough to say, "Uh, Ana, you're up."

When she's gone, Ana asks David, "Will you please come in with me?"

"He's asked for a private interview, Ana."

"Just for a second?"

After a moment, David says, "Okay."

When they enter the conference room together, Christian icily protests, "I said _alone_, Wintershoven."

Ana knows that her little pep talk has worked when, with his usual speed, David rattles off, "I'm fully aware of that, Grey, it was only minutes ago, but Ana requested that I accompany her, just for a moment."

Christian warily asks Ana, "Any particular reason, Miss Steele?"

Forcing her limbs to obey her, Ana calmly sits down and says, "Because I want you to know that I just told David about us."

That shocks him, but he quickly recovers and meticulously enunciates, "What about us, specifically?"

"That I'm your girlfriend and that fact alone will soon make me very famous." Ana can see that her words are threatening Christian's calm, but she dares still more, saying, "Especially if you're going to show up at my place of work."

Christian stares at her for several seconds, and then, without looking at David, says, "That'll be all, Wintershoven."

David says only, "Ana?"

So that he'll know not to worry, Ana smiles and says, "Thank you, David. I won't be long."

When he's gone, Ana dares to look up at Christian, who's now sitting on the table near her with one foot on a chair. His mask of indifference is rock-solid, his body angled towards her, one elbow on his knee and an index finger idly caressing his bottom lip as he decides her fate. Determined that he won't get the better of her while she's at work, Ana impassively stares back at him. Christian finally breaks, saying, "Anastasia, what am I going to do with you?"

Relieved that he doesn't sound very angry, Ana says, "You're going to love me, Mr. Grey."

It's enough to bring him back from the precipice and Christian's voice holds no anger as he says, "I'm still mad at you."

Ana beams her gratitude at him before saying, "Then we're even. Only this morning you reiterated your promise not to interfere in my career and yet, here you are, terrifying everyone I work with."

"And if I said that me being here had nothing to do with you?"

Ana meets his gaze to declare, "Then I'd call you a bold-faced liar."

Christian finally laughs and says, "And you'd be right to do so." And then he asks, "Have I lost all power to shock you?"

"Oh, no; I was shocked…shocked, thrilled, appalled. I was worried that you might take your anger out on David, by making him think that his job is in jeopardy."

Christian warily asks, "You like him?"

"As a respected senior colleague, yes. He talks even faster than you do, but everything he says is worth listening to. Please don't fire him, Christian."

Apparently genuinely hurt, Christian says, "You really think that I'd do that, just to get back at you for rolling your eyes at me?"

"Well, no…not really. But…I still have no idea how far your anger will take us. I'm sorry that I did that. I know it's not something you can tolerate."

Christian hesitates before asking, "Why?"

"You don't know why it upsets you?" When Christian only offers a guilty shrug, Ana considers and says, "Uh, well…it's as if I'm using an eraser on your words, right? It's the same as saying that all you've just said is nonsense and counts for nothing." A distant memory suddenly returns, the details tantalizingly out of reach, and Ana says, "You're not nothing, Christian, and never will be."

Apparently reassured by her words, he smiles and shyly asks, "No?"

Also smiling, Ana says, "No. As far as I'm concerned, you're everything." And then, remembering where they are, she adds, "But I need to get back to work, because I'm seeing my boyfriend tonight and he's not a patient man."

With a ready grin, Christian agrees, "No, I'm not." And then he runs a hand through his hair and says, "Well, as punishment, this was incredibly unsatisfying. All I've done is ensure that I'll be thinking of nothing but you until this evening."

With a confident smile, Ana says, "Christian, if you're trying to tell me that you weren't going to do that anyway, I'll have to call you a liar again."

Christian laughs and says, "Fair enough, too." And then he softly commands, "Come here."

Ana stands and moves until she's between his knees. When Christian slides his arms around Ana's waist and leans against her chest, she automatically embraces him, offering comfort for she knows not what. After a few seconds, he sighs and says, "It's starting to feel like I don't know who I am unless I'm with you."

When Ana laughs, Christian tenses and she immediately says, "Sorry. It's only funny because I said almost exactly those words to Kate this morning, about me." When Christian lifts his head to look at her, she adds, "And then I opened your gift."

"It's not going to be an easy fight."

Unsure what he needs from her, Ana says only, "No."

"But you're not afraid?"

Ana rests her forehead against his and murmurs, "Not if you're by my side."

When Christian suddenly releases her, Ana senses that it's because he's desperate for more, so she doesn't touch him. Sure enough, his voice almost cracks when he then says, "You'd better get back to work."

Offering her best smile, Ana says, "Yes, Sir." When she hears the sound of the chair dragging across the floor, Ana doesn't think anything of it and only glances in that direction, so she's completely unprepared when Christian's unerring palm makes resounding impact with her buttocks, the sound concealed by the scraping chair. Unable to stifle a yelp, she whirls on him, but her anger evaporates at the sight of his boyish, self-satisfied grin. One hand rubbing her stinging butt, she asks, "Feel better?"

Still grinning, Christian says, "Much, thank you. Don't be late tonight."

"Will you meet me here?"

She can see that he's tempted, but he says, "No." And then, with a wicked grin, he quietly says, "I have some leather items that require maintenance." At the shocked look on Ana's face, he laughs and says, "See you soon, baby."


	28. Chapter 28

On the Rocks: Chapter Twenty-eight

Ana has finally managed to get Christian out of her mind, and is intent on getting through her workload, so that she can devote the weekend to enjoying time with him, when Prescott appears by her desk and says, "Delivery, Miss Steele."

Looking up, Ana sees that it's an empty vase. She's wondering why it seems familiar when her eyes come to rest on the flowers that John Flynn sent her, somewhat worse for wear but still on the nearby filing cabinet. Confused, she asks, "Any card with it?"

Obviously just as confused, Prescott says, "No, ma'am."

Finally understanding, Ana says, "Uh, just leave it by the trash for the cleaner. I'm taking a break, okay?"

Without a word, Prescott follows Ana to the as yet private stair well on the top floor and checks it before letting Ana in and then waiting unobtrusively but vigilantly nearby. Taking a moment to calm her nerves, Ana dials Flynn. He answers almost immediately and she says, "You're very clever."

"Sorry?"

"Christian forbade you to speak with me in any way, unless I called you, didn't he?"

"Yes."

"I take it, from the fact that you're asking for your flowers back, that I've done something to displease you?"

"You have, indeed." And then Flynn's voice rises in volume as he says, "Do you have any fucking idea how dangerous your…homespun therapy techniques are? I…"

Ana can guess the rest of the tirade, but she doesn't hear it, because she's already hung up on him. She cancels the ensuing call from him, and the one after that. She picks up the third time and, before Flynn can speak says, "Do you really think intimidation is going to work on me, when I deal with Christian on a daily basis?"

Still sounding angry, but with a more civil tone, Flynn says, "No, I suppose not. But you have to promise that you'll never pull anything like that stunt with the cigarette again."

"That _stunt_ won't work again. It's fulfilled its purpose."

"Which was?"

"Christian didn't discuss this with you?"

"Yes."

Realizing that Flynn genuinely wants Ana's point of view, she explains, "One of Christian's biggest fears was that he might actually hurt me. The only problem was that a fear that big would become anger, which would in turn fuel his fear. I had to do something to break that cycle, or his fear might have become self-fulfilling."

"And if you'd guessed wrong…if he'd really hurt you?"

It's the one dreadful outcome that Ana hadn't even considered and she says, "Uh, he couldn't have. But, if he had, I guess…after I got out of hospital, I would have convinced him that it wasn't his fault."

Flynn is silent for a few seconds and then says, "How do you know about PTSD?"

"Christian didn't tell you?"

"He only speaks of you where it's relevant to whatever problems he's currently dealing with."

"Oh. It was my Dad…stepdad, but I don't want to discuss it."

After another pause, Flynn says, "Christian mentioned that you might be considering therapy?"

"Considering it, yes. I'm…I suppose he didn't say why?"

"No."

Unsure how to articulate something she barely understands, Ana says, "Uh, I…Christian seems certain that I have a submissive nature and that I'm fighting against it."

"What do you think?"

Ana smiles and says, "Are we in session now, John?"

"No, Ana. Just trying to find out what you need."

"I need…I think he may be right, but just the thought of exploring that possibility terrifies me. But, at the same time, I can see that…if I can't resolve this disparity Christian and I will do daily battle for the rest our lives. And I'm not sure I'm strong enough for that."

Flynn actually laughs and says, "I think you're too modest, Ana. But, whether or not Christian is right, I agree that things will be easier when you resolve this."

"You think he's wrong?"

"I think that I've not spent nearly enough time with you to know one way or the other. I was merely referring to the fact that it scares you."

"Oh, okay. So, do you know anyone who might be able to help me?"

"I do. Uh, Dr. Madeline Brandt is…her fees are very steep, and Christian has mentioned that you don't like accepting money from him?"

Ana smiles and says, "It's okay. This is essentially for his benefit too, so I can live with him getting the bill. What happens now?"

"With your permission, I'll give her your details and she'll contact you, probably next week, if that suits?"

"That'll be fine, thanks. And, thank you, for not giving me too much of a hard time about bullying Christian."

"Well, I'm still not happy with it. But Christian has agreed to start taking medication, so you get some leeway."

"He wasn't already?"

"No. He hates the idea enough that it has been a forbidden subject between us for quite some time."

"He told me that he doesn't like drugs."

Flynn chuckles and says, "He does have a spectacular gift for understatement."

"And medication is a good thing?"

"There are techniques that could help him overcome some of the lingering fears associated with the trauma he suffered as a child. These techniques have a much better chance of success when combined with medication. It will also help him cope better with moments of high anxiety."

"And you think that he's finally agreed, because of me?"

"I'm certain of it."

"It won't make him…not _him_, will it?"

"No, Ana. It's a mild dose. But it would be a good idea to discuss this with Christian. Both of you need to be vigilant for negative side effects, so that we can alter the dose or change the script, if necessary. I've already suggested that he talk to you about this. For now, I'm afraid that I have to go. Thanks for calling me, Ana. Any questions?"

"Uh, only the two thing. Does Christian know about that?"

"The two thing?"

"Uh, yeah, the way he…you don't know, either? Maybe I shouldn't say anything."

With some of his earlier acerbity, Flynn says, "I think it's a little late for that, and it might be vital."

"All right, though I doubt it's drastic. He…uh, whenever he tightens straps or…" Acutely embarrassed, Ana decides just to tell him, and exclaims, "Fuck it; when he restrains me, he always checks the bonds twice."

Sounding like he's trying not to laugh, Flynn asks, "Is this a problem?"

"It's not funny! And, no, it's not a problem, just…weird." When Flynn loses control of his laughter, Ana waits for him to settle down and then says, "Okay, it's a little funny, but not that much."

"I'm sorry, Ana, most unprofessional of me. But…with all that Christian has shown you of his habits, _this_ is the one that concerns you?"

Ana giggles and says, "I see what you mean. So, I don't need to worry, or mention it to him?"

"Unless it becomes an issue, then I wouldn't bother. I'll add it to his file, though. Thanks, for telling me. Bye for now, Ana."

"Thanks, John. Bye."

* * *

Christian is still in his study when Sawyer knocks on the open door and says, "You wanted to know when Miss Steele was on her way, sir?"

"Thanks. You can go as soon as Taylor relieves you."

When he's again alone, Christian shakes his head, marveling at how the news of Ana's imminent arrival is enough to drive all other thoughts from his head. Holding up one hand, he stares in fascination at the slight trembling and then focusses on his breathing techniques until the tremors subside. His stirring cock, however, only makes him smile. He'll need it later.

He makes a stop at the kitchen and asks Gail, "Dinner almost ready?"

"Yes, sir. I'll just give Miss Steele a few minutes to freshen up and then I'll serve."

Christian knows that she's got her information from Taylor, but says only, "Thanks. I'll see you on Monday."

"Yes, sir. Good luck, sir. I hope she moves in."

That one he can't let slide and Christian tries to marshal a disapproving tone when he says, "Jason has a big mouth."

Clearly unconcerned, Gail smiles and says, "Yes, sir. But only within these walls."

The unmistakable ping of the elevator arriving forestalls Christian's lighthearted reprimand about gossiping staff, and he's already heading for the door as he says, "Dinner in fifteen."

There's the sound of what might be soft laughter before Gail says, "Yes, sir."

Christian is almost to the elevator and the ever-vigilant Sawyer when the doors open and Ana sees him. He can feel the ridiculously wide grin spreading over his face and is helpless to stop it. It's answered by Ana's dazzling smile, the only thing that can make her more beautiful, and then she drops her briefcase and launches herself at him. Putting aside the fact that this incredible woman loves him enough to be so desperate for contact, just knowing that she trusts him to safely catch her in an embrace sends a thrill of pleasure through him. And then she's in his arms and, just for this moment, nothing else exists. They hold each other for several seconds and then Ana, her voice muffled against his neck, says, "I missed you."

Powerless to stop the joyful laugh that bubbles up within him, Christian says, "So it would seem."

When Ana then lifts her head to offer him her lips, it doesn't even feel like a choice as his mouth claims hers. Wondering how it can seem new every time, Christian teases Ana's lips with his until she softly moans her need for him. A tiny part of his fucked up brain idly thinks that, if Sawyer is watching, there'll be consequences. But it's not enough to stop Christian from surrendering to Ana as his tongue quests for more. Ana's will leads her to try for control yet again, so he decides then and there to put a stop to it. She recoils from him, putting one hand to her mouth in shock and then, with a nervous glance towards Sawyer, hisses, "You bit my tongue."

Everything about her reaction, from her shyness to the unmistakable signs of arousal as she voices her outrage, make Christian come alive, his dick swelling as if on command and he can't stop the grin as he lets her feet touch the ground and says, "Yes, but not very hard."

"Why?"

He knows how smart she is, but sometimes…. Of course, even these moments of obtuseness on her part are adorable and he says, "Perhaps you should research the word _dominant_, because I'm not sure you completely understand it."

Christian sees the glimmer of comprehension in her eyes and then Ana says, "You bit my tongue because I kissed you back?"

"I bit your tongue to stop your bid for control, and I sincerely wish it were always that easy to make you back off." Ana is quiet for a few seconds as she processes his words, deciding how she feels about this new tactic. Yes, he loves her for that, too. Having decided it's safe to approach, Sawyer is there with Ana's briefcase. Christian accepts it and dismisses him with a nod, then clasps one of Ana's hands in his as he says, "Come on, you've just got time to change before dinner." They've not gone two steps before he asks, "What's with the briefcase, and why are you carting bricks around?"

Ana smiles and says, "Not bricks, manuscripts. I'm afraid that the chaos you left behind at SIP means that I have homework this weekend."

Smiling, so she'll know that he's lying, Christian says, "Sorry."

They're almost to the bedroom when Ana suddenly plants her feet. Christian lets her bring them to a stop, confident that she has a good reason for such reluctance. At his questioning look, she starts to speak and then hesitates, biting her lip in trepidation. Imagining how he'll fuck her and fuck _with_ her later means that he can ignore the effect that gesture has on him and he reminds her, "Communication is key, Ana. You can tell me anything."

Another moment of hesitation and then she says, "I want to try something tonight. But I'm worried that…I need to know that you won't use it against me…won't expect more of the same, if it doesn't work for me."

Clearly it's big, and Christian guesses that it's something to do with play. So he takes both Ana's hands in his and says, "I can't make any promises, especially without details. But perhaps it can wait? Dinner will be ready in a few minutes and it'll be a while after that before we can attempt any kinkyfuckery. So you've got time."

It's immediately obvious that he's guessed wrong, when Ana shakes her head and says, "No. It's…I won't have the courage if I wait until after dinner." Now completely in the dark, Christian patiently waits for more information and Ana eventually takes a deep, trembling breath and explains, "I want to try submitting."

Too surprised to initially comprehend, Christian can only echo, "Submitting?"

Apparently reassured by his confusion, Ana says, "Yes." And then her breath starts coming in rapid bursts as she continues, "I want to try doing only what you say, but…"

When she can't continue and appears on the verge of tears, Christian envelops her in his arms and, filled with gratitude for her efforts, says, "Hey, it's okay. You don't need to do that. I told you, I'm not looking for a sub. I'm just happy you're here…beyond happy; ecstatic. And we're going to have fun tonight; that I _can_ promise."

Safe within his arms, Ana eventually calms down. Still wary of upsetting her, Christian gently lifts her face with a hand on her chin and studies Ana's expression for clues as to her mood when he asks, "Okay now?"

He's out of luck; her walls are up and he has no idea what she's thinking. It's the most terrifying, dick-shrinking thing she does and Ana doesn't even seem aware when she's doing it. Desperate to break through her defenses, Christian knows there's no point and he releases her to wait for whatever decision is brewing in her stubborn mind. After an eternity of seconds, Ana says, "No. I want to try it. Maybe we can put a time limit on it?"

Her words are such a shock that Christian actually has to fight the urge to laugh. But he manages to suppress it and asks, "What sort of time limit?"

She unconsciously gnaws on her lip again as she decides, so Christian almost misses her answer of, "One hour?"

His heart rate shooting through the roof at the thought, Christian manages to keep the excitement from his voice as he says, "To be clear; you will submit to my every command for one hour?"

And then her face shows only love as she smiles and says, "Yes, Sir."

Already panting slightly at the thought of what he can teach her in one hour, Christian glances at his watch, idly noting that the hand tremors are back, and is pleased with how calm his voice sounds when he commands, "From now until seven o'clock, I'll punish you with my open hand if you speak, other than safe words, or hesitate more than a second before obeying my commands." His dick twitches in anticipation of her first mistake when he then asks, "Do you understand?"

Ana only nods. Somehow, the fact that she's too smart to fall for it is even more of a turn-on and Christian wonders if he'll be able to keep from fucking her for an entire hour of this delectable exercise. Not that it would be a problem, but fucking under those circumstances wouldn't teach either of them anything. None of this shows on his face as he smiles slightly and says, "Clever girl. Now go pee."

Her immediate terror at what she's apparently accurately guessed he has in store for her makes her eyes so wide and beautiful that Christian almost moans in desire. Instead, he steps aside to let her past and follows Ana to the bathroom. Despite not hesitating to comply, Ana still tries to close the door as she enters the toilet. Christian considers whether to punish her for that act of defiance, but instead settles for slamming the door against the wall, relishing the startled look on her face, and then he growls, "You know better than that."

Of course, it takes a while. He knew it would. A person can't easily overcome years of being taught to be ashamed of their body's needs. But, when a beet red Ana finally manages to pee with Christian staring at her as if watching his favorite movie, he almost can't contain his pride and has to will himself not to embrace her as he teases, "Anastasia, even the way you pee is beautiful." The glare she gives him would make a lesser man back down, and he chuckles, knowing that he'll pay a heavy price for that comment, before he says, "Wash up and get undressed while I choose your outfit for this evening."

When Ana joins him in the bedroom, wearing only a doe-eyed expression at the thought of what he might do to her, Christian actually feels the trembling start this time and wonders if his body can take so much adrenalin, endorphins, or whatever the fuck is coursing through his system to make him feel this good. Not even confident that his voice will work, he clears his throat, a gesture not missed by Ana, who smirks just a little, making Christian wonder if he should add a ban on smiling. But the fact that she's trying to hide it actually makes him feel good about both of them, so he merely gestures to the outfit on the bed and says, "Get dressed." Having anticipated one of her concerns, he quickly adds, "It's brand new."

One glance at the peach-pink lacy ensemble with matching fishnet stockings and Ana's gaze flies to his, defiance in every line of her body, so he calmly challenges, "Had enough already, baby?"

Of course, it works. With a stubborn shake of her head, Ana dons the bustier, panties and garter belt. Her hands are trembling too much to attach the stockings, so Christian wordlessly drops to one knee and takes over, offering a reassuring caress up the back of one leg as he does so. He's surprised and pleased when Ana relaxes enough to smile down at him, as if she has a secret joke. And then he realizes that he's in the clichéd pose for proposing marriage, so he chuckles and says, "I'm glad you're warming to the idea. But not yet."

Whatever she'd been smiling at wasn't that, because the fear returns to her eyes at his words. Christian rises to his feet, ignoring his protesting ankle, and says, "When we're done, you're going to explain to me what was so funny just now." And then he stands back to admire the effect and means every syllable when he reiterates, "You are so beautiful."

Shaking his head to clear the apparent trance she inspires in him, Christian gestures for Ana to precede him and says, "Time for dinner." The view as he follows Ana is even more stunning and he exclaims, "Baby, you should never wear anything else." Her spines stiffens as she walks and he can well imagine that she's not thinking kind thoughts towards him right now, so he follows with a smile on his face, savoring every second of their game.

As they enter the dining room, Christian overtakes Ana to hold her chair for her, pushing it in as she sits down. This close to her, he can no longer resist her charms and permits himself one, almost chaste kiss on her bare shoulder before saying, "Hands behind your back, as if you're bound."

Ana readily obeys the command, which makes Christian hopeful for this evening's planned entertainment. Standing close enough to her that she won't be able to remain unaffected by his presence, Christian serves a portion of food, cutting it into small pieces as he announces, "Poulet à la Provençale, courtesy of Mrs. Jones." And then he pours Ana a glass of wine and says, "The wine is from Provence, as well; not only delicious and a good match for the meal, but offers a pleasing symmetry, I think."

One look at Ana confirms that the erotic nature of her outfit is finally getting to her, though Christian would like to think that his proximity has something to do with the frank look of desire on her face. He smiles at her, deliberately teasing the back of her neck with a gentle caress of his fingertips, delighting in the resulting tremor that runs through her body. Her face practically screams that she wants to be kissed. Before he relents, Christian sits down and serves himself and then says, "Eat."

As he knew she would, Ana brings her hands from behind her back to reach for her cutlery. Knife handle enclosed in his fist for added effect, Christian slams his hand down on the table, making the crockery rattle ominously as he roars, "Hands behind your back."

Visibly shocked, her eyes wide with fear, Ana immediately complies, staring at Christian with a bewildered look. Surprised that she hasn't guessed his intent, he merely repeats, "Eat." And there it is, the silent plea that he withdraw his command, so he says, "Ready for your punishment?"

They both know she'd enjoy it, so Christian is far too eager to get his hands on her ass. But somehow he's even more pleased when Ana bends her head to her plate, delicately picking up a small portion of food. Trying, against the odds, to keep his pride from showing on his face, Christian covers by beginning his own meal, though he can barely taste what he assumes is up to Gail's usual standards, because all he can think about is Ana, within arm's reach, wearing next to nothing and eating from her plate like a cat simply because he told her to.

Despite his pride in her willingness to try anything he suggests, Christian can tell that it's simply not working for Ana, so it does nothing for him, either. He slides his chair back a little and pats the top of his thighs as he says, "Come here. Keep your hands behind your back."

When Ana is sitting on his lap, Christian reaches for her napkin and gently wipes her mouth as he "complains", "You're such a messy eater, baby." And then he chuckles at the flare of anger in her eyes and pulls her plate towards him as he says, "Maybe I'd better help you."

By the time he's speared a piece of chicken on a fork and teased Ana's mouth with it for a second before letting her accept it, Christian can tell that she much prefers this method of consumption. And something about it; the trust needed, or the fact that it speaks directly to his need to look after Ana, very much appeals to Christian, too.

Vigilant as ever, Christian knows when Ana has had enough and pushes the plate away as he asks, "Thirsty?" Ana somehow manages to convey wariness with her nod. Smiling at her cleverness, Christian reaches for her glass as he says, "Don't worry baby. Gail would kill me if I let you spill red wine on this carpet."

Christian knots his free hand in Ana's hair and tilts her head back a little as he reminds her, "Keep your hands where they are." As the glass nears her lips, Ana automatically leans forward. Christian immediately withdraws the glass and pulls sharply back on her hair, causing a shocked gasp of pain to escape her lips, as he says, "Uh, uh." He relaxes his grip, letting her head fall forward a little and commands, "Open your mouth, close your eyes and keep your head still."

It's obvious that Ana is enjoying this exercise most of all, as she serenely complies with Christian's wishes. Her trust warms his heart even as his dick throbs with the need for contact with her flesh. Delicately, he lets the wine just touch Ana's lips and then says, "Taste it, baby."

Ana's tongue darting out to lick the blood red liquid from her lips is almost his undoing, and Christian has to focus on his breathing for a few seconds or risk throwing away this opportunity to help Ana. When the incredibly strong urge to just throw her on the table and fuck her has receded, Christian again lets the wine touch her lips, this time letting a few drops fall into her willing mouth. He watches, fascinated, as she reflexively swallows. That action alone again threatens his calm when he's reminded of her talent for fellatio.

Glad that Ana can't see him, Christian shakes his head in an effort to regain control, but it's no good and the self-hatred is evident in his voice when he says, "Open your eyes."

Ana does so and stares at him, clearly confused by his anger. Cursing his need, Christian says, "I'm sorry, baby. I can't do this. The exercise is over." At first wary, Ana only appears reassured when Christian shrugs and explains, "Apparently, you're far too fuckable to be my sub."

Still frowning in confusion, Ana says, "You want to fuck me?"

Christian smiles and says, "I always want to fuck you, baby. Right now I _need_ to, so I'm no good to you."

Her face suddenly transforms into a wide smile, and then Ana says, "No one's stopping you Mr. Grey." With a pointed glance at the wall clock, she adds, "Though you'd better be quick."

Wondering why the hell he didn't think of that simple solution, Christian quickly realizes that needing sex enough to be unable to continue an exercise has never been an issue before. In the past he would simply take what he wanted, when it suited him; this overwhelming need is a new phenomenon. Beaming his gratitude at Ana, he commands, "Shut your fucking mouth and grip the edge of the table."

Unsurprisingly, Christian's hands are again trembling as he positions himself behind Ana. Only as he slides her panties down enough to grant him access, and sees the pool of slick moisture on them, does Christian understand just how much she's been enjoying herself. And he suddenly knows that he needs more than an immediate release. So he rubs one hand over her delectable buttocks, now enticingly framed by the garter straps, as he says, "You spoke. That's against the rules."

He feels Ana tense at his words, even as a slight tremor of anticipation runs through her. Marveling that her taste for physical punishment appears to be increasing, Christian withdraws his hand and almost tenderly smacks her. He can feel Ana's surprise at the gentle nature of the attack. Grinning like a kid with a new toy, he caresses her again before bringing his hand down on her flesh, just a little harder this time. He feels Ana relax as she works out what he's doing. Soon enough just the motion of withdrawing his deliciously stinging palm from her pink derriere is enough to make her whimper with longing, and she practically purrs every time he caresses her. Despite the weight of the marble and mahogany dining table, the crockery now rattles ominously with each impact, and his arm is actually starting to burn with effort when Ana finally breaks and exclaims, "Christian, please."

One hand sliding between her legs to caress her clit, Christian almost frantically frees his throbbing cock with his other hand and tries to keep the laughter from his voice as he says, "Now I have to start all over again."

Ana hasn't finished groaning in despair when he slams into her, eliciting a strangled cry from her throat. Drowning in sensation, buoyed by the sound of their bodies moving against each other and almost giddy from the smell of Ana's lust cloying his nostrils, Christian watches, uncaring, as the wine glasses and bottle topple over. Somehow, even that becomes part of their dance and he comes, hard, as the liquid spills onto the pristine table cloth, holding himself deep inside Ana as he rakes his fingernails down either side of her spine, just as he did during the wax play. It's enough to drag Ana with him and her body spasms as she rides the waves of her orgasm.

Christian wraps his arms around Ana's waist as they come down from their high. When her trembling subsides, he withdraws from her and places a kiss on each of her buttocks before pulling her panties back up. And then he quickly dresses and sits down as he commands, "Kneel by me."

Almost in a daze, Ana does as instructed, automatically resting her head and hands on his lap. Christian knows that she can't have done this before, and understands that it's an instinctual act; a deep-seated need for comfort or security. His chest actually aches with love for her when he then realizes that she's probably wanted exactly this for a very long time, but didn't even know it. His own needs mean that the urge to lift her up onto his lap is powerful. Instead, he gently runs one hand down Ana's hair and over her shoulders as he says, "It's all right, baby. You're okay. I'll take care of you."

Her sudden, heaving sobs aren't much of a surprise. And, as much as it pains him to hear them, Christian understands that it's necessary, so he wordlessly strokes her, murmuring a litany of comforting sounds and phrases, until the sobbing turns to weeping and then to trembling breaths. Finally, Ana recovers enough to hiccup and laugh at the sound. She lifts her head to look at Christian with such love that he wonders how it's possible to feel this good and not explode. He tenderly caresses her moist cheeks, trying in vain to erase the evidence of her distress as he asks, "Better?"

Ana's grateful smile pierces his heart and then she touches her lips and wags her finger to remind him of the need for silence. Beaming his pride, Christian says, "You can speak now, baby."

Ana motions unlocking her lips and cheerfully says, "Much better, thank you."

Confident that she's well enough to accept his teasing, Christian grins and says, "Ready to admit that you're submissive?"

Shaking her head, Ana cheerfully declares, "Not even nearly."

Apparently unable to keep from grinning, Christian threatens, "And if I commanded it?"

Ana glances over his shoulder and says, "Then I'd say you're out of time and shit out of luck."

Christian glances at his watch to see that it's well past seven, so he laughs and says, "Oh well, it was worth a try." And then, nervous of her answer, he asks, "Your butt recovered enough to sit on my lap?"

In answer, Ana stands up and crawls into his lap, burying her face against his neck and resting a hand on his chest. As Christian wraps his arms around Ana, cradling her to him as if she can save him, just for a moment…a tiny slice of time, he actually believes that he's worth saving.

* * *

Where credit's due: Again, thanks to AriadneInNaxos, for invaluable assistance on this one. It's so much better, because of you.


	29. Chapter 29

Author's note: Hope this chapter clears up matters somewhat for anyone struggling to follow the psyche element of Ana's struggle with uncovering her submissive tendencies. In the moment, it's meant to be confusing; a reflection of Ana's inner turmoil. But I don't want to lose any of you in that process, so let me know if I'm not adequately telling the story. And, thank you, for your ongoing support.

* * *

On the Rocks: Chapter Twenty-nine

They're quiet for a while, just drawing comfort from each other. When Ana starts squirming, Christian stands up with her in his arms. Startled, Ana says, "Where are we going?"

"Bedroom. You're in pain."

Instead of denying it, as he thought she might, Ana says, "How come it's only hurting now? I mean, it hurt, but…you know about this stuff, right?"

"You were high on chemicals produced within your own body, some of which remove your ability to feel pain…to some extent, anyway. As the hormones are processed out of your system, you feel the pain again. It's your body telling you there's a potential problem."

"Why do you sound like an announcer on the Discovery Channel?"

Only now realizing that she's right, Christian says, "I guess it's because I'm not sure how you're feeling right now."

"Neither am I."

When she says nothing else, Christian asks, "Do I have anything to apologize for?"

Her voice holding only a hint of anger, Ana says, "Other than watching me pee?"

Delighted that she's well enough to berate him, Christian chuckles and says, "Hey, I could have insisted that you strip first."

As they enter the bedroom and Christian gently puts Ana on the bed, she says, "True." Gazing up at him, looking so lost that it actually hurts him, Ana asks, "Why did you do that?"

That one at least is easy, and Christian earnestly declares, "Because, between us, there should be nothing you're ashamed of. It's the same as concealing something from me, and I don't want you to hide anything…I want it all."

When Ana makes no reply, Christian turns to head for the bathroom, but stops at her plaintive, "Where are you going?"

Christian knows that, despite her bravado, she's still in turmoil after the exercise, so he offers what he hopes is a reassuring smile as he says, "Just getting something for your pain, baby. I'll be back in a sec."

When he returns with the Tylenol, glass of water and Arnica cream, Ana has pulled the comforter over her body. He wonders if she's asleep, but then notices her intent gaze as he approaches. Without a word, she sits up and swallows the pills with most of the water, then says, "Thank you."

Trying to keep his concern from showing on his face, Christian smiles and says, "You're welcome, baby. Now turn over and I'll apply the cream."

When Ana only chews her bottom lip in distress, Christian wonders if she's reluctant for him to touch her ass. It wouldn't be the first time the aftershock of submission had caused such an aversion, at least temporarily. But this is the first time it hurts him. Putting the tube of cream on the nightstand, Christian keeps his voice even as he asks, "Want some alone time?"

He's ridiculously relieved when Ana adamantly shakes her head and says, "Just hold me."

Pausing only to kick off his shoes, Christian joins Ana and puts his arms around her as she snuggles against his side. Of course, Ana rests one hand over his heart. Knowing what it means to her, and perhaps needing it just as much as she does, Christian opens his shirt enough that Ana can rest her palm against his chest. It's a marvel every time. Christian can remember only recently finding even the idea of someone touching him like this abhorrent. Now, such thoughts seem so distant, almost as if he must have been mistaken. Currently, there's only the thrill of Ana's skin against his, and his heart beats faster at the contact. Unable to bear this dreadful silence, he asks, "How are you feeling now?"

"Okay."

"Can I please have a little more information?"

With a sigh, Ana says, "Like what?"

Her reserve genuinely making him afraid, Christian says, "Well, are you angry, sad, scared…all of the above?"

Lifting her head to look at him and resting her hand on his cheek, Ana says, "I'm okay, darling, just very confused. Now, would you please shut the fuck up and give me time to process what just happened?"

Finally reassured, Christian chuckles and then quickly kisses her and says, "Sorry, baby; shutting the fuck up."

Ana settles back against him and is quiet for so long that Christian wonders if she's fallen asleep, but then she says, "Why didn't you make me eat more than a couple of bites without using my hands?"

"You didn't seem to be enjoying it, baby. Or was I wrong?"

"No. That wasn't fun at all." She's again silent for a few seconds and then reveals, "I liked you feeding me though. But it feels…I'm worried that…" And then she growls in frustration and says, "Does this always happen? I mean, did this happen with your subs?"

Reluctant as ever to talk about his other women, but understanding Ana's curiosity, Christian says, "Yes, baby. Sometimes the challenges showed them a truth about themselves that they hadn't been aware of. They'd often cry, sometimes rant at me, but mostly just be very confused for a while."

"What did you do? For them, I mean?"

Wary of this train of thought, Christian asks, "Sure you want to know this stuff?"

"Yes. Please."

With a shrug, Christian trusts her enough to say, "Hold them, soothe them, sometimes bathe them, until I was sure they'd recovered, and then put them to bed."

"But not like this?"

Wondering if she's a little jealous after all, Christian smiles and says, "No, baby, never like this." When Ana is again silent for what seems like a very long time, he asks, "Do you want to call Flynn?"

Ana shakes her head and says, "No. Oh, he said that I'm to ask you about the medication?"

Suddenly afraid, but unsure why, Christian isn't quick enough to stop his body from tensing and he warily asks, "You talked to Flynn?"

Ana flexes her fingers where they rest against his chest and says, "Relax. I called him to set up a therapist and he mentioned it, so that I could watch for side effects."

Elated at this news, Christian lifts Ana's face to his with a hand on her chin and says, "You're going to start therapy?"

Ana smiles and says, "Why are you so happy about this? I think that I'm fairly emotionally stable most of the time."

Unsure how to express a theory that's been brewing in his mind, Christian borrows the words, saying, "Every saint has a past."

Ana's brow furrows in the way that makes him want to kiss her forehead and she says, "You think that…what _do_ you think?"

Wary of upsetting her, Christian takes a moment to gather his thoughts and says, "Your father died when you were very young. I'm guessing that Carla…oh, she's done a great job with you, but I'm guessing that it can't have been easy for her, suddenly raising a child alone while grieving. And then Ray; he's a good man, but he's military and you're his only child. He must have struggled with suddenly being a father and…I dunno, often not known what to do and, being a good man, would have been extra careful about not doing anything that could be construed as inappropriate." To lessen the impact of his words, Christian then smiles and huskily begs, "Baby, please stop biting your lip."

"Sorry. Keep going, please."

Getting his breathing under control and pushing his desire aside, Christian says, "Uh, so all this means you were…I'm no shrink, Ana, but I'm guessing you often needed a daddy and he just wasn't there."

Ana pulls her chin from his hand and hides her face from him. Given her fragility, Christian lets her, and then goes back to shutting the fuck up while she considers his words. Eventually, her voice small, she asks, "You think that I think you're my Daddy?"

Christian resists the urge to laugh at the idea and says, "Hardly. But it gets mixed up. I've seen it before. You're more the expert on love, but it has seemed to me, watching it in other people, that there's really only one love and everyone who receives it gets a different aspect of it; parents, children, siblings, friends, lovers. Is this making sense?"

Still apparently unable to look at him, Ana nods and says, "Yes. This sounds like one of the things I should discuss with my therapist."

"I think that would be a very good idea. I don't want you to be ashamed of anything you feel for me. So, who is it?"

Ana tenses and says, "Why do you want to know?"

Thinking that her mistrust is probably justified, even as her reticence upsets him, Christian says, "I'm not going to interfere in your therapy, Ana. I suggested it, remember? But you know me well enough to understand my need for details."

After a second, Ana relaxes and says, "Madeline Brandt. A name and the fact that John thinks she can help me is all I know about her." Another pause and then Ana accuses, "You're going to have Welch check her out, even though John trusts her, aren't you?"

Considering he'd been thinking exactly that, Christian doesn't feel comfortable denying it, so he shrugs and says only, "Fifty shades, baby. And when did he become John?"

Ana gently slaps his chest, causing chaos in his body, and says, "Relax, Grey. One sadist is more than enough for me."

Smiling at her naiveté, Christian says, "Flynn isn't a sadist, baby. He's more into role-play, without the pain element. Oh, but that's just between us, okay?"

"I thought that what we do is role-play?"

"It is, but I always play the same role."

"Dominant."

The love contained in that one word takes Christian's breath away, and then he's panting and his dick is trying to escape his jeans as he says, "Fuck, me."

Ana gazes up at him to cheerfully ask, "Exclamation, or request?"

Struggling to regain some semblance of control, Christian shakes his head in wonder at the power she has over him, and then grins as he says, "Yes."

Ana giggles and returns her head to his shoulder as she says, "Maybe later." And then she laughs again at Christian's groan. When he's calmed down, she asks, "Have you tried other roles? I presume we're talking about things like slutty secretary and blackmailing boss, or naughty nurse and deviant doctor?"

"Things just like that; the limits are only physical constraints and the players' imaginations. And, no, my needs have been very specific."

"Past tense?"

Christian knows what she's asking and says, "Yes. My current need is to please you."

"And yourself."

Smiling that she cares enough to remind him, Christian says, "Ideally, yes." She's quiet again for a long time and Christian wonders how much longer he can take of this insufferable not knowing what the fuck she's thinking. Guessing part of it, he suggests, "Maybe you should do some research. If elaborate role-play is something you might enjoy, we can do that."

Ana flexes her fingers through his chest hairs and says, "Maybe. But I'm usually too busy doing this stuff to research it."

"So, move in. Then there'd be at least a chance that I won't want to fuck you every time I see you."

Ana laughs softly, the beautiful sound felt through his chest, and then jokes, "A very slim chance." And then she sighs, a deep release, and says, "I think I'm okay now."

Christian could swear his heart actually moves in response to this good news, but he asks, "You're sure? If you have any questions, I'll do what I can to give you the answers."

"No. I mean, it's still confusing…the whole Daddy/lover thing. But I don't feel ashamed. There's not much point, is there? How I feel is how I feel. And, intellectually, I can see that wanting the comfort from you that I missed as a child doesn't mean that I'll become attracted to Ray. Wait…did you? Is that how she got you?"

Incredibly proud of her insight, despite feeling the familiar reluctance to talk about Elena with someone who hates her, Christian says, "That's part of it, I'm sure. Flynn certainly seems to think so."

"Does John know who she is?"

"No, baby. I eventually confessed the details of my relationship with Elena, but you're the only person who knows her identity."

"Sometimes I wish that I didn't."

"I know. You're too smart for your own good." When she's quiet for a while, lost in thought, Christian pleads, "Can I put the cream on you now?"

In answer, Ana throws off the comforter and turns onto her belly as she pulls her panties down. His hands trembling slightly at her show of trust, Christian unclips the stockings and moves the straps out of the way before tenderly applying the soothing cream to her still very red buttocks and wonders why the hell he has a ridiculous urge to weep. Filing that away as something to mention to Flynn, he focusses on his task and eventually says, "Done."

Without a word, Ana starts to undress. Guessing that she just wants out of the costume, Christian also wordlessly helps her. And then he asks, "Want me to get rid of this?"

"No. I like it. I just don't want to wear it all night." And then she starts to take her lip in her teeth and stops the gesture before saying, "And…I'm sorry, Christian, but I'm not sure that I'll want to play tonight."

Just glad that she seems okay, Christian smiles and says, "I'd say we already played. Certainly I had fun. What do you want to wear?" Gesturing to the dresser, he explains, "Taylor's been busy. Everything you need is here."

Furrowing her brow at him, Ana says, "How come you freaked out when Taylor saw me in only panties, but you're okay with him buying them for me?"

Christian laughs and says, "I'm only okay with it because he doesn't enjoy it." Just then his stomach rumbles loud enough for both of them to hear and he adds, "Sorry, babe. I didn't get dinner."

Ana smiles kindly and says, "Neither you did." And then she nervously adds, "I think that I'd like a bath, and maybe some of that alone time."

Trying to conceal how much her request wounds him, Christian says only, "Okay, babe. Want me to run it for you?"

"Please. Not too hot though, okay? My butt is still burning." And then Ana's brow puckers and she asks, "How many times did you hit me?"

"Uh, I've no idea. I was focused on your reaction, making sure it didn't go beyond pleasurable. But my arm is going to be sore tomorrow. You're amazing."

"Amazing because I let you spank me for so long?"

Concerned that she still seems very detached, Christian says, "Uh, no; amazing because you're brave enough to explore something that, only a short time ago, scared the shit out of you."

"It still does…all of it."

Wrapping the comforter back around her, Christian kisses her forehead and says, "I know, baby. That's what makes it brave."

Suddenly understanding, Ana says, "You think that I'll want to submit like that again."

Wondering if he guessed wrong after all, Christian asks, "You don't?"

Ana considers for a while and then shrugs and says, "It's possible. But it's too soon to tell. You still don't need it?"

Christian smiles and says, "No, baby, I only need you. If me licking the shit from your ass turned you on, I'd try it. But I don't need that, either."

Ana smiles and says, "Maybe not such a romantic, after all." That furrow is back in her brow, so Christian waits until Ana says, "Fecal matter is one of your hard limits."

"True, but we've thrown out the contract." With a grin to show that he's not upset, Christian adds, "And you violated my hard limits when you touched my chest."

Ana accepts that with an apologetic shrug and then says, "Well, rest assured, I still want to clean my own ass…preferably alone."

Christian recognizes it as a none-too-subtle complaint and he laughs before saying, "Duly noted." And then, because teasing her really is a pleasure, he adds, "I'll just have to content myself with _listening_ to you pee."

He watches, captivated, as Ana's face expresses shock, anger, amusement and love before she says, "You'd better go run the bath."

Ecstatic that his Ana is back, Christian does as bid, laughing because he can't help it. Taking the time to light a few candles, he fills the bath and adds her favorite bath oil and then returns to Ana. Again, it looks like she's asleep, adorably cocooned inside the comforter, but she opens her eyes as he approaches, so he says, "Bath's ready. Want me to carry you?"

Sitting up, again taking his breath away with the simple movement of throwing the comforter from her naked body, Ana says, "No, thank you, I can manage. You're okay with this?"

Unsure whether he should even embrace her, Christian says, "Of course. You've been through the emotional wringer. It makes sense that you need some time to yourself."

And then Ana does something that truly shocks him when she says, "It's not easy, is it; being Dom?"

Again, the ridiculous impulse to weep, but a lifetime without it cannot be so easily broken. Instead, Christian's chest aches until he wonders if he's having some sort of attack. Ana's compassion almost too much for him, he resists the suddenly powerful urge to flee and is disappointed to hear his voice crack as he says, "Baby, you're going to break me."

He's still rooted to the spot, trembling, when Ana reaches him and places their hands in the by now familiar gesture over each other's hearts, "Darling, it's okay. You don't have to always be the strong one anymore."

Something, a strangled cry for help or perhaps benediction, escapes his throat and then he crushes Ana to him, burying his face against her neck. When he's recovered the ability to speak, Christian raises his head and says, "How is it that you can remove all my power and restore it, tenfold, in almost the same breath?"

Ana blushes slightly under such praise and shyly asks, "Is that what I'm doing?"

Smiling at the fact that she still doubts her power over him, Christian says, "You have no idea. I've almost cried twice tonight. I can't remember the last time that happened. It feels…it's as if you're tearing me into tiny pieces and then putting me back together…only somehow I'm more whole each time."

Staring at him in wonder at these words, Ana reveals, "That's what it feels like for me right now, since I let you dominate me." When Christian shakes his head, she asks, "What's wrong?"

A choked laugh escapes him and Christian explains, "Nothing, baby. But…the way you said _dominate_ just now…and you're naked in my arms."

Ana laughs and says, "Maybe I'd better take that alone time now, because I'm too sore for round two."

Somehow finding the strength to let go of her, Christian quickly kisses Ana and steps back, saying, "Maybe you should. I'll see you soon, baby." She's almost to the bathroom when he says, "Anastasia?" As she turns, he utters only, "Thank you."

She smiles, in that way that goes right through him, and blows him a kiss before heading to the bath. Shaking his head again, to get rid of the urge to follow her, panting, for any scrap of attention, Christian heads to the dining room. Of course, his dinner is cold, but he forces it down anyway. Grateful that he'd bothered to cork the bottle earlier, he permits himself a glass of wine, and then he texts Gail that she can clear, adding an apology for the mess.

He's in the living room, at the piano, when he senses Ana's presence. Without stopping, he looks up to see that she's chosen pajamas and is carrying her briefcase. He pauses and asks, "Homework time?"

Ana drops the case on the sofa and walks towards him as she says, "Yes, but don't stop. I love listening to you."

So he resumes as Ana stands behind him, her chin on the top of his head and her hands resting on his shoulders. Given that she usually sits beside him, Christian asks, "Still sore?"

"Yes, but I don't mind. It's a vivid reminder of a very interesting dinner."

Christian laughs and says, "Flynn always makes me choose a different word when I say that something is interesting."

Ana giggles and says, "Well, yes; challenging, frightening, infuriating, confusing, revealing and sexy as hell would work, too. But it takes longer to say." And then she leans by his ear to whisper, "I love you."

With a groan, Christian reaches up over his shoulder to thread his fingers through her hair, meeting her willing lips with his until they're once again lost in each other. And then he hauls Ana into his lap and says, "You can't expect me to keep playing when you do stuff like that."

Ana laughs, her expression carefree, and then she says, "You got me. I missed you and want all of your attention."

"Well, you have it now, Miss Steele. What do you intend to do with it?"

"Uh, hadn't actually thought that far ahead. What do you suggest?"

With a nod towards her briefcase, he says, "I could help you with your homework. Though said offer is in no way an admission of guilt that it's in any way my fault you had to bring work home."

Ana laughs and says, "Understood, Mr. Grey. Okay, thanks. I have to read enough of each manuscript to judge if they're rubbish or promising. I pass the promising ones to David, along with a few notes, so he can decide whether or not to take them on." And then Ana's brow furrows and she asks, "That reminds me; not that I'm complaining, but how come you didn't freak out about me telling David that you're my boyfriend?"

Glad that she'd noticed his efforts, Christian grins and says, "Guess."

It doesn't take her long and Ana soon asks, "Welch?"

With a nod, Christian says, "Yes. Wintershoven, despite the God-awful name, is a decent, discreet and eminently moral man who also happens to be very good at his job. You chose well in SIP."

"Oh, thank you. Have you researched everyone in the building?"

Without even a twinge of guilt, Christian says, "Not quite."

"Just everyone I work with?"

With a nod, Christian confirms, "And everyone you might work with."

Ana ponders this for a second, apparently untroubled by the news, and then says, "Speaking of work, let's get to it, so I can relax."

Gently putting her off his lap, Christian cheerfully says, "Yes, boss."

Giggling, as she heads to the sofa, Ana says, "Oh, I like that, far too much."

Grateful for the chance to show off, Christian joins Ana on the sofa and speed-reads his way through most of the handful of manuscripts, throwing some on the floor as he pronounces "Crap," and placing a couple by Ana as he declares, "Promising."

While Ana goes through the few promising manuscripts, Christian takes her feet and swings them up onto his lap to give her a massage. After a few seconds, Ana says, "Mmm, nice."

Enjoying the domestic scene more than he would have thought possible, Christian says, "You're welcome, babe. And you have the cutest feet I've ever seen."

"Are you one of those guys with a foot fetish?"

"Not particularly, though I adore yours. Why?"

Ana smiles slightly and says, "Oh, just thinking that a girl could get used to this sort of treatment."

"You're finally coming round on the whole marriage thing, aren't you?"

Ana protests, "Not what I said." But Christian notes with joy that there is no trace of fear in her eyes this time and he wonders, out of all that's happened today, which part changed her mind.

* * *

Where credit's due: "Every saint has a past..."- (I think) Oscar Wilde


	30. Chapter 30

On the Rocks: Chapter Thirty

When Christian finishes massaging Ana's feet, he starts on her ankles. He doesn't get very far up her leg before she says, "Christian, I'm working."

With a delighted grin, Christian says, "Not stopping you, babe."

Ana futilely tries to pull her leg out of his grasp and then protests, "Christian, enough! It's your fault I have all this work."

Her intractable manner tempts the darkness within, but his rational mind wins, because he knows that Ana will be entirely his when she's done. So he suddenly releases her, saying, "Fine."

Ana peeks at him from under her lashes, no doubt wary of his ready capitulation, and then more warmly pleads, "And please go pout somewhere I can't see you, so that I can concentrate."

Even his darkness appeased by her obvious reluctance to continue with her work, when he's in a playful mood, Christian smiles and says, "Yes, ma'am."

Quickly formulating a plan, Christian heads to the piano. Strauss' "Dance of the Seven Veils" has no apparent effect, likewise Scriabin's "Poem of Ecstasy". Changing tack, Christian launches into "Closer" by Nine Inch Nails, letting his lust for Ana into his voice as he growls the carnal lyrics. But Ana's only reaction is to look up from her work enough to say, "Of course you know that song." After a moment Christian comes up with Jace Everettt's "Bad things". He knows it's working when Ana groans and says, "Christian, please. Just let me finish."

So close to victory, Christian can't let it go, and says, "This one I learned while we were apart."

He sees Ana's spine straighten in surprise, so he knows she's listening. Suddenly nervous, he starts on the intro and is grateful when his voice holds steady as he begins. Remembering how he felt in those awful weeks without Ana lends his voice a raw edge as he sings, "Now I've freezing hands and bloodless veins, as numb as I've become. I'm so tired. I wish I was the moon tonight."

By the time he's into the second verse, Ana has given up all pretense of reading. Surprised that he's able to continue when Ana gracefully stands and walks towards him, Christian finishes with Ana leaning on the piano staring at him with such love that he almost can't stand it. And then she releases her emotion in one, trembling sigh and pleads, "Can we go play now?"

Genuinely surprised, Christian says, "I thought you didn't want to?"

With a slight smile, Ana says, "I didn't. Don't tell me you've gone off the idea?"

Thrilled with this unexpected result of his attempts to distract her, Christian grins and says, "Baby, I'll always want to play with you; in every sense of the word." When he spreads one arm wide, inviting her in, Ana sits on his lap and offers her lips. Christian accepts and notes with pride that she lets him stay in control of the kiss. Before it becomes something more, he reluctantly ends it and says, "But you need to know more, first."

Placing her hand over his heart, Ana says, "It's okay, I trust you."

Smiling, because his body will permit nothing less, Christian then says, "I know you do, baby. But I'm still nervous about going too far, and talking it out with you first helps me believe that I won't hurt you." With a grin, he adds, "Well, not too much, anyway."

"Okay, so what are we doing?"

"You remember I talked about rope play?"

Ana frowns and says, "You're going to suspend me from the ceiling?"

"No…maybe in the future, if that's something you'd like. But I am going to truss you up like a Christmas turkey. You won't be able to move, and you'll be gagged."

"Will it hurt?"

"Not that part, but…once you're immobilized, I intend to whip you."

Ana's eyes fly wide at his words. It's been a long time since they played like this, so Christian is prepared for her refusal. Instead, Ana only asks, "The flogger?"

Relieved that she seems okay with the idea, Christian says, "No, baby. The ropes won't leave much room. I'll use a single-tailed whip."

"What's the difference…in the sensation, I mean?"

Smiling his pride at her astute question, Christian says, "The flogger is a gentle caress compared to the precise sting of a snake whip."

Again, Ana's eyes widen and then her breathing accelerates a little as she considers his words, but then she relaxes and says, "You know what you're doing."

Thrilled that it's not really a question, Christian says, "Yes, baby. If you weren't restrained I'd be worried, because you have real trouble controlling your body's reaction to pain and pleasure. But bound you'll be forced to keep still, so that I can avoid doing damage. And you'll remember to use the fucking safe words, right?"

Ana grins at that and says, "Yes, Sir." And then she frowns and asks, "You said something about silent safe words?"

"I'll show you what I mean by that when we're in the playroom."

Ana's eyes brighten and she says, "So, let's go."

"No more questions?"

With a wicked grin, Ana asks, "Will you fuck me when you're done?"

Christian chuckles at her eagerness and says, "If I can wait that long, yes. So, you're ready?"

Sudden passion flares in her eyes and then Ana says, "Well and truly, Sir."

It's for both of them when, as Christian suddenly stands with Ana in his arms, he says, "Baby, you only think you're ready. You've no idea how much this is going to hurt."

Whether it's instinct or a desire to please him, Ana does exactly the right thing when she looks up at him, her eyes wide with fear as she entreats, "But not too much?"

Stifling a moan of desire, Christian forces his face to betray nothing as he says, "We'll see, baby. We'll see."

When Ana sees that she's being carried to the bedroom, not the playroom, she asks, "Change your mind?"

Christian chuckles and says, "Unless the fire alarm goes off and I actually smell smoke, no. But I need to change into less restrictive jeans and put on the rigid ankle brace." And then he smiles as he adds, "And you need to slip into something much more revealing."

Ana smiles at that, but then frowns in concern and says, "Christian, I don't want to do this if it's going to make your injury worse."

As they enter the bedroom and Christian puts Ana on her feet, he says, "I know, baby, hence the rigid brace; insurance, in case…or _when_ I get carried away." And then he hands over his keys and commands, "Now put on some pretty panties and go wait for me."

When Christian turns back from choosing his outfit, Ana is still there, staring at him. Not yet angry, he only raises one eyebrow and, her eyes agleam, Ana looks at the bundle of clothes in his arms and asks, "Your faded jeans?"

With a grin, Christian says, "Oh, you like those, baby?" When Ana eagerly nods, he chuckles and gently remonstrates, "Then do as you're told, or you won't see me in them."

Ana offers a cheeky grin and bobs a curtsy before saying "Yes, Sir," and moving to obey.

Christian postpones changing to watch Ana at her now full dresser as she explores the contents. After a few seconds she holds up a pair of lace-trimmed, satin panties that match her eyes and Christian says, "Perfect."

Her gaze fixed on his, Ana removes first her pajama pants and then her t-shirt before stepping into the panties and slowly sliding them up her legs, her quiet smile confirming that she's aware of Christian's arousal as he ardently studies her every move. And then she picks up the keys and her voice is filled with promise when she says, "I'll be waiting."

Feeling so good about both of them that it's hard to imagine ever having felt anything else, Christian promises, "Not for long."

When Ana leaves without even trying to kiss him, Christian knows that she's learned the lesson of anticipation. Determined to make this fun for both of them, he forces his eager limbs to slowness as he changes into his favorite jeans and a plain, black t-shirt. He's not sure exactly what it is about his playroom "uniform" that turns women on, but Ana is just as responsive to it as the others were. After fitting the brace he heads to the playroom, deliberately slowing his pace as he walks.

Inside the playroom, Ana is on her knees by the door, her head bowed and the keys nestled in her upturned palms. Marveling yet again at her accurate instincts, Christian ignores her and fetches the Ben Wa balls before returning to Ana. He accepts the keys and says, "Thanks, babe. Now stand up." She does so and Christian is pleased to see that her eyes widen slightly on seeing the metal balls, but she doesn't look afraid and he says, "Not what you think, baby." He offers them and says, "Just hold them by the middle string." Ana wordlessly complies and Christian says, "Shake them, hard." When Ana does so and they both hear the metallic rattle as the weights moves around inside, he explains, "That's yellow, understand?"

Comprehension lights Ana's face and she says, "Yes, Sir."

Not quite trusting her ready reply, Christian asks, "What will you do if the play is becoming too painful or intense?" With a grin, Ana shakes them vigorously. Part way through the gesture, Christian grabs her wrist, immobilizing her arm and says, "Try it now."

At first startled by his action, Ana is still able to make the sound and Christian says, "I won't bind your fingers today, so you'll always be able to do this. If I hear that noise, I'll pause and check on you, okay?"

"Thank you, Sir."

Finally satisfied that Ana has a way of controlling how far they go, Christian says, "Now drop them."

Hesitating only a second, Ana drops the balls and jumps at the clamor they make, then giggles and says, "Well, that should get our attention."

Smiling at her playful mood, Christian says, "That's the general idea. Now pick them up and kneel on the bench."

Ana looks at the red, leather bench, now in the middle of the room; the same piece of furniture involved in the strapping that led to her leaving him and Christian wonders if it's too much for her, but she only asks, "_On_ the bench, Sir?"

"Yes. It'll be easier on my ankle if I don't have to squat or kneel while I bind you."

He notes with glee the flare of Ana's nostril's at the word "bind," proof that she's very excited about the idea of being tied up. She obeys without another word, kneeling on the bench and lowering her head in submission. Just that simple act is enough to make Christian want to fuck her. Instead, he fetches the ball gag and approaches her, saying, "Well done, but sit up for now." Holding the small, rubber ball and attached strap as an offering, he says, "This is how I'll silence you." When Ana stares at it with obvious trepidation, Christian gently instructs, "Hold it. Look at it."

Christian takes the Ben Wa balls from her for now and patiently waits while Ana investigates the beginner's gag. After several seconds she says, "This goes in my mouth?"

"Yes. Do it now, and ignore the strap." When Ana does so, Christian notes that her nostrils are flaring with effort and he says, "Breathe through your mouth."

Ana does so and her eyes widen in delighted surprise. She removes the gag to examine it again and says, "It's got holes in it."

Smiling at her wonderment, Christian says, "Yes, baby. As this is your first time, we'll use the breathable one. Mostly they're solid. How did it feel?"

He has to refrain from kissing her when Ana gives it serious thought before saying, "Uncomfortable…a bit like when you bullied me the other night. I could feel my heart rate escalate and wanted to immediately remove it. But it felt all right once I started breathing normally…kind of hot, actually." And then she grins and adds, "Especially with you looking at me like that."

Trying to contain his excitement that he'll get to hear Ana's sounds of passion while she's gagged, Christian asks, "Not a code red?"

Ana smiles and says, "Not even cautionary yellow."

As Christian smiles his pride at her, Ana anchors her eyes on his as she slowly returns the ball to her mouth, holding the straps either side of her head, inviting him to gag her. Shaking his head to clear his sudden need for her, Christian eagerly tightens the straps behind her head, being careful not to pull her hair, as he says, "Oh, baby, you're…I'm going to enjoy this."

Once he's satisfied that the gag is in place, but not too tight, Christian hands Ana the Ben Wa balls, looking at her as he asks, "You'll remember to use them?" Ana's face crinkles in an effort to smile and she nods her head. Thrilled with how well it's going so far, Christian kisses only the bright red, rubber ball, eliciting a stifled moan of protest from Ana. He grins and comments, "So much for the preliminaries. No more Mr. Nice Guy." He chuckles at the outrage in Ana's eyes, imagining that, if she could speak, she'd deny that the title ever applied to him, and then he commands, "For now, relax and stay right where you are."

Moving at a deliberately slow pace that will ensure Ana has time to process what she sees, even as the delay gives time for desire to build, in both of them, Christian fetches several lengths of rope, uncoiling them from the figure-eight he uses for storage and then laying them neatly across the bench in front of Ana.

Having decided days ago what whip he'll use, Christian still makes a display of perusing his collection before selecting the black snake whip. Without even looking at Ana, he hangs the coil of braided leather loosely around his neck and then fetches the claw knife from a drawer and feints cutting motions in the air as he returns to her. He looks up, as if remembering she's in the room. Predictably, her eyes are wide with fear and glued on the knife. Stifling a grin at her reaction, he reveals, "Oh, so I can get you out of the bonds quickly, if necessary."

Turning his back to fold the knife and put it in his pocket, so that she won't see his smile at her sudden sigh of relief, Christian then faces Ana and lays the rope lengths across her thighs. Next, he stands at one edge of the bench before grabbing her hips to slowly drag her towards him. Wondering if it's the first time he's seen her eyes when he's manhandling her, or whether being gagged makes her face more expressive, Christian's heart beats faster at the look of pure longing in her beautiful, blue eyes, and his mind flashes back to the first time he saw Ana, how it felt as if she could see right through him. Again shaking his head to clear his thoughts, Christian returns his focus to this moment and instructs, "Hands out in front of you, palms together and the string between them."

He notes with pride that Ana doesn't even hesitate. After making sure that the Ben Wa balls are hanging snugly between her hands, but loose enough that they'll fall to the floor if Ana passes out, he picks up a strand of rope and expertly ties the first loop around her wrists. Satisfied with the knot, he looks at Ana, to gauge her reaction. He's surprised to see that her eyes are sparkling with mirth, and suddenly recalls her earlier, mystifying amusement, so he says, "Later, you and I and the _whip_ are going to have a little talk about this secret joke of yours."

Now it's Christian's turn to be amused, when his emphasis on the word "whip" takes both Ana's smile and breath away. He chuckles and says, "You are, by far, my favorite toy." The sudden flare of anger in her eyes at that label makes him want her even more, but he ignores that need for now and rests Ana's bound hands against his chest for her comfort as he continues binding her arms with a knot every few inches, skillfully avoiding any pressure points that might become a problem later, and deliberately snaking the rope through the air for effect. He's delighted to observe that Ana's shining eyes follow every movement with excitement rather than fear.

Christian has judged the rope length perfectly, because he has just enough to tie the last knot above her elbows. A glance at Ana confirms that rope play is definitely something she'll want to do in the future. Her face is relaxed and her still very expressive eyes are already glazing over as she sinks into pure sensation. Confident that he's reading her correctly, Christian nevertheless brings her back to him with a gentle hand on her cheek and asks, "Okay, baby?" Her eager nod brings a laugh of unadulterated joy from Christian and then he says, "I had a feeling you'd like this."

Without a word, Christian chooses another length of rope and loops it around the bonds at Ana's wrists. And then he lifts her bound arms, attaching the other end of the rope to the grid above her head. Given that her arms are tied together, this blocks their view of each other. He knows that this posture will be putting uncomfortable strain on shoulders, so he moves around the bench to check on her. Ana's eyes are wide with fear and her nostrils are flaring with effort as she struggles to get enough oxygen. Resisting the urge to comfort her with his touch, Christian commands, "Look at me." When Ana's panicked face turns towards him, he instructs, "Breathe, baby, just breathe." Only seconds later, she's brought herself under control and is breathing normally. His chest almost aching with pride at her display of courage, Christian leans forward and caresses her nose with his as he whispers, "I love you."

As he stands back from her, Ana's gagged face is attempting a smile and Christian says, "I know; I said no more Mr. Nice Guy, but apparently you bring him out of me." She tries to say something then, poor thing, but only succeeds in drooling a little. Wondering, as he has in the past, why that sight is so damned sexy, Christian holds Ana's gaze as long as possible while he leans forward again, this time to lick the tendril of saliva from her chin before gently biting her stretched bottom lip. Ana's guttural moan of desire goes straight to his groin and his dick comes to life inside his jeans.

Willing himself to focus on the task at hand, Christian selects a strand of rope as he lies, "Oh, yeah, I forgot to warn you about the drooling." With a grin he adds, "That'll happen every time you try to speak." Ana's sudden glare confirms that she knows he deliberately omitted that detail. Christian only smiles and says, "Your eyes are very beautiful when you're angry, Anastasia, even more so when you're gagged." She's too smart to again try to speak, but the angry look Ana levels at Christian could cut glass.

Feeling almost like whistling while he works, Christian only then notices that he's forgotten the music. Silently cursing the fact that he still lets Ana distract him from the essentials, he crosses to his iPod at the speaker dock and, after a moment's consideration, decides against the playlist he'd selected, instead finding "I Wish I Was the Moon" and setting it to loop.

When he returns to Ana, he can see that the choice pleases her and he cannot help a smile in response. Without another word, he sets his mind and hands to the task of binding her torso. As he deftly ties the knots around Ana's breasts, forcing them to enticingly jut out, but without touching them, she moans her frustration, the sound coming from deep within her. His body's powerful and immediate reaction to the beautiful sound temporarily takes Christian's breath away, and he can feel the trembling begin, so he knows that his need for her will soon eclipse everything else.

Desperate for anything that will return his control, he stares at her for a moment and then casually but precisely flicks her left nipple with his fingernail, eliciting a muffled gasp of plain/pleasure from her. He leisurely repeats the process with her right nipple. This time Ana only moans and her head falls back as her chest arches towards him, begging for more. He repeats the pleasant torture a few times, until that sweet feeling of power returns.

One glance at Ana's face confirms that she's deep in the trance of subspace, apparently oblivious or uncaring of the fresh droplet of salvia trickling down her chin. This time Christian denies himself the pleasure of kissing it from her, instead returning to the task of trussing her torso. When he's done, he steps back a moment to admire his handiwork and says, with a grin, "There; just like a pot-roast." He releases and lowers her arms, suddenly easing the load on her shoulders. Confirming that she's riding high on the waves of her own pleasure, Ana only offers Christian a serene smile at the taunt. Something about her being in that state speaks straight to the essence of him, making him feel all-powerful, as if he could accomplish anything. He leans close to Ana and adds, "A delicious, juicy morsel."

This time, when he laps the saliva from her chin, nipping and kissing along her jawline as he does so, Ana moans and utters an intelligible plea. Guessing the general tone of her entreaty, Christian says, "No fucking until I'm done, babe. And I've barely begun." Ana's groan of apparent despair only makes him laugh.

* * *

Where credit's due: Again, to the darling AriadneInNaxos, for continued support and assistance; you are the imaginary wind beneath my metaphorical wings.

I won't list all sites that I visit during my research, as that task is simply too daunting and, as mentioned, I'm lazy about some things. But two I've visited often, because they help me understand the characters of Ana and Christian: "Right turn without signalling" and "What does it take to be dominant?" In case you ever read this, thanks Emmy and Sir J, for your honesty and courage.

My daughter, for introducing me to the term "fanmix". If not for that, I would have gone with the song "First day of my life" by Bright Eyes; cute song, but most un-Christian like.


	31. Chapter 31

On the Rocks: Chapter Thirty-one

Christian slides Ana, on her knees, back to the center of the bench, and then spends a few minutes massaging her strained shoulders. Though the caress isn't sexual, he knows that, in the absence of any other contact, it will still fuel Ana's desire. Next, he traces each line of rope across her back, the nylon smooth beneath his fingertips. He knows that Ana will be able to feel the pressure but not his hand, and that it will further frustrate her. Sure enough, as his fingers glide over the strand across her lower back, Ana squirms and turns her head towards him, so Christian remonstrates, "Uh, uh. You're supposed to keep still. Looks like we need more rope."

This time, Christian stands beside Ana, touching her only as much as is necessary to attach the doubled length of rope around her hips and then puts one, small knot in what's left before threading it between her legs. He chuckles when she startles, as the rope touches her groin, and says, "Easy, baby." And then he laughs again and teases, "If you don't settle down you'll hit the roof when I press this knot against your clit."

Ana's eyes fly to Christian's, the Ben Wa balls rattling in protest as her whole body tenses at the idea. Though it seems like an accident, Christian pauses and asks, "Was that a yellow?"

Ana shakes her head, but then the rattle sounds again as her bound arms try to bend. Christian realizes that she's trying to remove the gag. With what he hopes is a stern frown, Christian says, "You should know better than that, baby. You've given your consent, and the only way out is to safe word. Unless you do so, anything that happens in here is up to me. Now keep still, or I'll tie your arms up out of the way again."

He's actually surprised when Ana doesn't go straight to angry. Instead, her eyes bore into him as she seriously considers everything he just said. The rattle sounds yet again, and Christian's attention is drawn in that direction to check if it was intentional, only to see that Ana is using what little movement she has to flip him off. Shocked, his gaze snaps back to her face. Wondering how someone can manage to look so smug with a ball gag in their mouth and spittle on their chin, Christian shakes his head in wonder at her audacity and says, "Anastasia, you're magnificent, but you're going to be very sorry that you did that."

The last few words are delivered with enough force to change Ana's smug expression to one of uncertainty. But then her back straightens and she stares back at him, silently but eloquently daring him to do his worst. Somehow, her very defiance fuels his desire and his ego. The fact that someone so incredibly strong is here, submitting to his will, seems nothing short of a miracle. Now almost humming with a feeling of power, as if he's actually a conduit, Christian commands, "Eyes front." He knows that it's a type of defeat. But he also knows that there's no way he can keep staring into Ana's eyes without giving into the increasingly powerful urge to just carry her to the nearby bed and lose himself in her.

When he's sure that Ana can no longer see him, Christian releases his need in a long, silent breath and then pushes the knot against the front of her panties, eliciting a small gasp from Ana. When he then uses his other hand to pull the end of the doubled rope up through the crack in her ass, she squirms at the exquisite contact. Smiling, as he joins the rope to the one across her lower back, Christian says, "Baby, if you don't keep still, you'll fall off the bench."

Confident that the knot in the soft rope is pressed against her clitoris, Christian tests it by gently pulling on the rope ends. Sure enough, Ana moans again and turns her head towards him, silently begging for more. He can't let that stand and, without shouting, instills enough power into his voice that she immediately obeys when he again commands, "Eyes front!"

Christian knows that Ana is now in the right frame of mind when he notices the trembling; just a small tremor, something others might miss. But he's seen it before and knows that it means Ana is where she needs to be; afraid and aflame. With a silent reminder to do his part, Christian selects another length of rope, doubles it over and twists it a few times, then places it across Ana's breasts, noticing with satisfaction that her eyes are once again glazed with pleasure. He knows she's deep in it when she moans and writhes rather than startling when he positions the twisted rope over her nipples, effectively imprisoning them in nylon nipple clamps. When he's sure they're positioned for maximum effect, he ties the rope securely behind her back, and then takes control of her nipples and her clit with a rope in each hand. Ana gasps as he tweaks the ropes like a puppet master and then she whimpers as he continues the exquisite torture. Only when a strangled sob escapes her does Christian release the ropes as he kisses her shoulder and says, "I'm glad you're having fun, baby. But we're still not done."

After checking Ana's posture, correcting where necessary, to make sure that she can stay kneeling throughout, Christian binds her legs. Proud of how well she's doing, he permits them both the luxury of caressing her more than is necessary as he threads the rope between and around her thigh and calf, a figure-eight of bonds, ensuring that she can no longer straighten her legs. By now Ana is making mewling sounds around the gag. He knows full well that she's asking to be fucked, but he says, "Almost done, baby, and then you can taste the whip."

Smiling at her sudden fear, Christian reaches behind her head to remove the gag. Ana tries to speak, but it's unintelligible. Christian smiles and cups her face, massaging her jaw muscles as he says, "Relax, babe. Just give it a second before you say anything." Next, because it doesn't feel possible to do anything else, he kisses her. And then he laughs and wipes his chin as he says, "You drooled on me."

Ana grins and says, "Good."

Pulling the clean handkerchief from his pocket, Christian gently wipes the saliva from Ana's chin as he says, "I missed your voice. What did you say before?"

"Thank you, Sir."

Immediately concerned, Christian says, "You don't like the gag? Did it hurt you?"

With a shrug, Ana says, "I don't mind it, though I'm not crazy about the drooling. Oh, but I loved when you kissed it from me. I just…I miss talking to you."

Relieved that she seems okay, Christian says, "Me too, babe. But, as I've told you more than once, there's not supposed to be an intermission."

Ana frowns slightly and says, "Then why did you remove the gag?"

With that familiar, embarrassed shrug, Christian says, "I wanted to kiss you."

Ana smiles and says, "Because you love me."

Christian mirrors her smile, nods and says, "Because I love you." When he then notices the flicker of pain cross Ana's face, he says, "Your legs cramping, baby?"

Obviously embarrassed that he's noticed, Ana says, "Uh, no. It's…my back…it started going into spasms a while ago."

Christian knows that the spasms are caused by the bonds on her arms, so he immediately starts untying the rope above her elbows as he growls, "Fuck, Ana. That's why we have the safe words. When are you going to fucking learn?"

"It's not that bad, Christian, honest. I can take it. Please don't stop."

His hands trembling slightly as he works on the knots, Christian's voice is softer as he says, "Sweetheart, I don't want you to just _take_ anything. There is sometimes pain in this room, but no suffering, okay? I would rather do without all this shit forever than have you put up with bad pain."

He's almost to her wrists when Ana says, "I'm sorry, Christian. Are you angry with me?"

Looking up enough to reassure her, Christian says, "No, baby. I'm angry with myself. I should have been paying closer attention to you." Another, shy shrug and he confesses, "Sometimes I get caught up in the process and neglect the person."

Finally able to let her arms relax a little, Ana tugs against Christian's efforts and says, "It's okay now. Please leave the wrists."

Christian studies Ana's face for a few seconds and then says, "Okay, babe, but no more suffering in silence. I'm fucking serious about this. I won't permit play if I can't trust you to communicate with me." When Ana only offers a shamefaced nod, Christian adds, "You're not gagged now, Ana. I need to hear the words."

One deep breath and Ana says, "If I'm feeling anything other than pleasurable pain, I'll use the first safe word."

Satisfied, for now, Christian takes the Ben Wa balls from Ana's hand and puts them aside. When he turns back to Ana, she's silently weeping. Feeling suddenly ill, Christian says, "Oh, baby, what's wrong? Need to stop?"

Ana shakes her head and says, "No. I don't know why I'm crying. I think…I fucked up again, didn't I?"

Kissing her and holding her as best he can, Christian says, "Hey, no. We're okay. I just…you know what it does to me when you're hurting. It's infinitely worse when I feel like it's my fault."

"It's not your fault. I…when I was a kid…well, you know how clumsy I am. I don't think there was a week of my childhood where I didn't get some minor injury. And Mom…she was always working. The few times she came to the school…looking back, I realize she wasn't angry with me, but it seemed like that at the time. So I just stopped mentioning if something was hurting." With a shrug, Ana continues, "It was never as bad as the teachers made out, anyway." At Christian's quiet smile, Ana asks, "What?"

"Oh, I was just thinking that you were made for kink."

Looking down at the ropes across her body, Ana grins and says, "Certainly looks like it."

Christian chuckles and says, "I mean that whole not reacting to pain thing. And I'm guessing that Flynn would insist your clumsiness is partly a subconscious quest for physical pain. Because you are, on occasion, incredibly graceful and I think that's your natural state." When Ana's brow furrows with the effort of considering his words, Christian kisses her forehead and suggests, "For now, you're thinking when you should be feeling. I'll leave off the gag. But, unless you need to stop, I'll continue now."

Ana smiles and says, "Please, Sir." And then she hesitates a moment before revealing, "I like the intermission."

Sensing her need to explain, Christian only says, "Oh?"

"Yes. I…this is all still scary for me. I trust you, but…anyway, you understand that part probably better than I do. When we pause like this, it gives me time to adjust to what's going on in my body and my head. And it…I feel loved."

Christian studies her face, trying to ascertain the truth of what she's saying, and then nods and says, "Okay, babe; planned intermissions it is." With a shrug, he adds, "That'll probably make me feel better, too. Most people have years of experience with sex before they end up like you are now. We always go too far, too fast. But, when I'm with you…"

They've discussed this more than once, so Ana smiles and concludes, "You get carried away."

Somehow, when Ana says it like that, it doesn't feel like a failure, so Christian smiles before saying only, "Yes." And then he reaches with both hands to just brush the tips of her nipples peeking from between their synthetic bonds and asks, "So, what's going on in your body right now?"

Ana groans and says, "Is there any point asking you to fuck me?"

Continuing his feather-light torment of her nipples, and relishing her obvious enjoyment of it, Christian calmly says, "I don't know. Try it and see."

Her body arching towards Christian's hands, desperately seeking closer contact, Ana begs, "Please, Sir, _please_ fuck me."

Christian continues the caress for a few seconds more, staring into Ana's eyes, and then he suddenly removes his hands as he says, "No." At Ana's obvious dismay, he explains, "I told you that you'd be sorry."

Ana glares at him and then almost lovingly says, "Bastard."

Christian captures Ana's lips in his one more time and then says, "Intermission's over. Shut your fucking mouth and do as you're told."

Failing miserably to look contrite, Ana says, "Yes, Sir." As Christian takes hold of the rope to continue the scene, Ana asks, "Oh, wait. Why have you left my panties on? They don't usually last very long in here."

Christian grins and says, "True enough. But your ass has taken enough punishment this evening. The panties are to remind me that we'll both be sorry is I lash your butt."

Ana's eyes register a little fear at the thought and then she says, "Oh, okay. Thank you, Sir. Shutting my fucking mouth now."

Christian grins at her words and says, "Good girl." When Ana's eyes register a moment of fury at the phrase, Christian files that fact away for another time, because he knows that strong reactions like that can indicate a deep-seated need. For now, he adds a single length to the rope attached to Ana's wrists and then gently pulls on it as he guides her head down, until her forehead touches the padded, leather bench, and he instructs, "Just relax, baby." As he gently rakes his fingers through her hair, letting it flow out around her bowed head, he adds, "God, you're beautiful like this. I wish you could see it."

As Christian gets on with the task of anchoring Ana to the bench, she says, "Sir?"

Without looking up from what he's doing, Christian says, "Yeah, babe?"

"Do you have your phone on you?"

Christian's breath actually stops when he realizes what she's saying. When he can breathe again, he says, "You want me to photograph you?"

"If that's okay with you?"

Resisting the urge to pick her up and hold her, bench and all, Christian laughs and says, "Yes, sweetheart, that would definitely be okay with me. But the phone's too risky." He retrieves the long-neglected compact, digital camera from the locked drawer and explains, "This will just be for us. I won't even transfer them to my computer. Welch keeps an eye out for hackers, but it's ultimately impossible to prevent an eventual attack. So these will stay locked in here. Not even Gail has a key to the drawer, but I'll get you one. If you ever want to delete them, just tell me that's what you're doing, okay?" And then he grins and adds, "And, any time you want to look at them, please invite me to join you."

Ana giggles and says, "Pervert."

Thrilled beyond words that Ana is jovial about bestowing this pleasure on him, Christian says, "I think that fact has been well and truly established, Miss Steele. Now, keep still."

After a few final adjustments to her posture, and making sure that her hair is covering her face, just in case his precautions aren't enough, Christian walks around Ana's prone, bound body, taking pictures from every angle. In between each shot, he kisses her; neck, shoulder, back, hip, clothed buttocks and even the soles of her feet, until Ana moans and says, "Oh, God. How do you make even a photo shoot sexy?"

Christian chuckles and says, "Funny, I thought you were the one making this sexy." After stowing the camera in his back pocket, he then explains, "One more rope, baby. This will press against the back of your neck, holding your head down, and you won't be able to move a muscle. It'll feel uncomfortable, but I need you immobile if we're going to find out whether or not you like the whip, okay?"

Ana's voice is small beneath the curtain of her hair, but she doesn't hesitate to say, "I trust you."

Christian kisses Ana's shoulder and says, "Thank you, baby. And I'm going to trust you to tell me if this is too much."

"Yellowred, I promise."

Christian fetches a last length of rope from the wall and returns to Ana. By then he's back in control of his emotions and is pleased to note that his hands are steady as he ties Ana to the bench. Only then does he grin and lean by her ear to say, "By the way, sweetheart, every time you twitch, the ropes against your nipples and clit will drive you crazy without letting you come, and this will happen every time the whip tastes your flesh."

Ana groans and says, "I think you know what I have to say to that, Grey."

Christian grins and says, "A polite thankyou, for being so inventive with our play?"

"No, not that."

Enjoying this game immensely, Christian suggests, "Perhaps you mean to thank me, for giving you such pleasure?"

"I'm sure that I will when we're done, but not right now."

Christian nuzzles his nose through her hair and murmurs, "That I'm a bastard?"

Ana tries to lean into the caress as she lovingly whispers, "Yes, Sir."

Satisfied that Ana is here because it's what she wishes, Christian stands and removes the coiled whip from around his neck. Running the leather through his hands, he realizes only then how much he's missed it; the smell and feel of it in his hands, and he doesn't need to use it to remember the sound. His hands trembling slightly at the thought of striping Ana's perfect, pale flesh with the snake whip, Christian gently places it across the top of her back and leisurely caresses her prone form, flicking his wrist slightly so that it crawls over her skin like its namesake.

By the time the whip reaches her no doubt still reddened buttocks, Ana's entire body is trembling. Confident of his skill, Christian is still nervous enough to let the first crack of the whip impact only the air above her. Ana's body can't help but react as her legs try to flee. And then she moans at the delicious pressure of the ropes pressed against her breasts and groin, then almost yells, "Bastard!" That now familiar taunt fuelling his desire, Christian grins and, suddenly serene, flicks the whip so that the tip smacks against the padded bench just near Ana's feet. She tenses again and her toes curl, whether in reaction to fear or desire is hard to tell, and repeats "Bastard."

Christian notes with pleasure that Ana's breathing is already rapid, and guesses that her heart rate is also racing. Looking at the lattice of rope decorating her back, Christian suddenly knows exactly how to introduce her to the lash. He gently kisses one of the exposed patches of skin and then steps back and, one foot slightly forward to ensure accuracy, lets the whip crack and hit Ana's flesh. She cries out and, despite being sure of his aim, Christian nervously checks the site of impact. Breathing a sigh of relief when he sees only a reddening stripe on her skin, he kisses along the length of the injury and then says, "Okay, babe?"

Ana moans and says, "Oh, God. _Please_, Christian…Sir, please."

Smiling at her obvious enjoyment, Christian says, "Please whip you, or please fuck you?"

Squirming as the aftereffects of the lash makes themselves known to her, Ana hisses, "Yes."

Once again letting the leather "snake" crawl over Ana's skin, causing her to tremble anew, Christian says, "I think first one and then the other." And then he kisses another patch of vulnerable skin before striking her again. This times Ana holds her tongue, but quivers and whimpers, becoming lost in sensations that she's never had before.

Christian repeats the process again and again, until there isn't a single part of Ana's back that isn't covered by white rope or a red stripe. He's letting the whip caress her body again as he decides what to do next, when Ana says, "Yellow."

Dropping the whip, Christian fishes his knife out of a pocket and cuts the rope holding Ana's head down. Gently pushing her hair away from her face, he asks, "Back spasms again?"

There's a note of desperation in Ana's voice, as if she's willing herself to remain calm, when she says, "No. No, I'm fine. Can we just get out of here?"

Worried at how big a meltdown she's heading for, Christian keeps his composure as he says, "Sure, baby. Your brain is starting to catch up with what's happened to your body, but you already know that it won't last long. I'll use the knife for expediency, but only the blunt side will touch your skin. Just relax and you'll be free in a few seconds, okay?"

Forcing a deep, calming breath, Ana says only, "Okay."

His hands again trembling slightly, Christian struggles with his own nerves as he quickly frees Ana. Without a word, he lifts her in his arms and carries her towards the bedroom. Ana is equally quiet, just resting one hand against his chest as she leans into him for comfort. Once there, Christian awkwardly pulls back the covers with Ana in his arms and then puts her down and asks, "You okay, babe? Can I get you anything?"

Looking as if she's only seconds away from weeping, Ana shakes her head and says, "Just you."

Somewhat reassured, Christian moves around to his side of the bed and shucks his jeans before climbing into bed, pulling the covers up over both of them. They move into each other's arms as if they've rehearsed it. After a while the silence proves unbearable for Christian and he asks, "Too much?"

Sounding more relaxed, Ana says, "The whipping? No. Actually, that didn't hurt as much as the spanking you gave me at dinner, though it was concentrated pain; very different. I presume that's because of your skill?"

"Mostly, but also the fact that you had two analgesics earlier this evening, so I wouldn't have listened if you'd asked for a harder lash. So, it was being bound you didn't like?"

Ana flexes her palm where it rests over Christian's heart and says, "You're doing it again, darling. Just give me a few minutes, okay? I started to feel panicked in the playroom, but I'm fine now and most of the time it was beyond fun. Just relax and hold me. You don't need to solve every issue I have, okay? Sometimes, I'll just want to cuddle."

Remembering their earlier conversation, Christian says, "Okay, babe, shutting the fuck up now…except to say that I love you."

Ana lifts her smiling face to his for a quick kiss and then says, "And I love you. Thank you, Christian. I enjoyed that very much."

Stroking Ana's hair as she once again leans against his shoulder, Christian smiles and says, "Truly my pleasure, Miss Steele."

They're quiet for a few minutes and then Ana says, "I think it was the idea of you fucking me while I was completely immobilized in the submissive pose. I wouldn't like that."

"Okay; noted. But, I wasn't going to."

"No?"

"No, sweetheart. You'd already been bound long enough. Too much time under the ropes can do permanent damage to ligaments. Also, I would have had to take you from behind and your tender buttocks would _not_ thank me for that."

Ana lifts her head to look at him and grins as she says, "Actually, I think they wouldn't mind so much."

Incredibly relieved that she seems okay, Christian sighs and says, "Miss Steele, you're insatiable."

Reaching her hand up to caress the evening stubble on his jaw, Ana says, "Only for you, Mr. Grey."

Kissing her again, more thoroughly this time, Christian then says, "You okay to talk about it? Or would you rather leave it for another time?"

In answer, Ana reaches down and removes her panties, dropping them on the floor beside the bed as she says, "Another time."

Beaming, Christian pulls his t-shirt off in record time and throws it away from him, uncaring of where it lands. And then he says, "On your stomach. I want to see the damage."

With a lazy smile, Ana does as instructed and says, "Oh, you still got that camera?"

"Uh, sure, babe. It's in my jeans. You want to see the pics?"

"Yes, but I was actually asking so that you can take some of my back. What does it look like?"

Uncovering her body, Christian studies her for a while and then starts kissing his way up her back as he says, "You look like a pink tiger. You're stunning. It doesn't hurt?"

Ana giggles and says, "Of course, it hurts, Christian. But it's not bad…just a kind of burning tingling. You've never had this done to you? You were a submissive, right?"

Suddenly uncomfortable, Christian can't keep the ice from his voice when he says, "Yes, I've had this done. But it was a long time ago, and everyone processes pain differently."

Ana half turns to look at him and says, "I'm sorry, Christian. I'm not asking with any agenda. I just…I'm always curious about your past, and very grateful when you share any of it with me. I mean, it's not always fun to hear, but I want all that you're prepared to give me, okay?"

Satisfied that it's innocent curiosity prompting her query, Christian says, "Okay, ask me later. For now, lie down while I conduct another photo shoot."

Ana relaxes back onto her stomach, comfortably resting her head on her folded arms as she says, "Mmm, and will you again kiss me in between each shot?"

In answer, Christian retrieves the camera from his jeans and kisses Ana's pink butt, first one cheek and then the other. Next, he takes a photo of Ana and says, "Apparently." This time, he only snaps a few pics and discards the camera before stretching out along Ana's back, feeling the heat from her abused, naked boy. Careful to keep his full weight from her, he kisses the side of Ana's mouth and says, "Maybe I _will_ fuck you like this. You really are a very pretty tiger."

Arching her up against him, Ana says, "Mmm, I'd like that." And then she tenses and says, "Wait."

Worried that she might be in pain, Christian rolls off her as he says, "What's wrong?"

Smiling at his panic, Ana again turns onto her side as she says, "God, Grey, relax. I told you, I'm fine. It's just…I got you something, and you're going to want to fuck me when you see it, so I'd better give it to you now, because I'll be too tired for a third round tonight."

Burning with curiosity, Christian raises one eyebrow and says, "Well?"

Suddenly nervous enough to bite her lip, Ana moves her pillow out of the way to reveal Charlie Tango. At first not quite believing his eyes, Christian pulls the flattened token from under her pillow and just stares at it. Feeling like weeping for the third time tonight, he tries to keep the thrill from his voice as he jokes, "You got me a broken balloon?"

Ana protests, "No, I…oh, you're teasing me."

"Yes." And then Christian restores Charlie Tango to its rightful place under her pillow and lays his head on Ana's stomach as he says, "Thank you. You won't regret this."

Cradling him to her, Ana laughs and says, "Of course I will. But never for very long." After several seconds of silence, she nervously asks, "You okay? I thought you'd be happy."

When Christian lifts his head, Ana knows why he went quiet; moisture is pooling in his eyes and, when he tries to blink it away, a solitary tear runs down his cheek as he says, "I am."

* * *

Author's note: Any suggestions on what else Monsieur Grey might be hiding in a locked drawer, inside his locked playroom? I'm certainly curious to find out; could be something about his childhood, or a lock of hair from every sub...no, that's too Dexter. But you get the idea.

Where credit's due: As always, to AriadneInNaxos, for advice and support.


	32. Chapter 32

On the Rocks: Chapter Thirty-two

When Ana covers her mouth with one hand in shock, desperately fighting her own tears, Christian smiles and says, "I knew you'd break me."

Her eyes wide with wonder, Ana lowers her hand and can only manage, "You cried."

Christian grimaces and says, "You're going to make a big deal of this, aren't you?"

Ana grins and says, "Not as much as Flynn will."

Christian groans and says, "Oh, God. You're right. Perhaps I can omit that detail during our next session."

Smiling, Ana says, "You have to tell him, Christian. He'll be over the moon."

His sparkling eyes contradicting his serious tone, Christian says, "Most of the time, I'd prefer he were _on_ the moon. And, no, I don't."

Apparently unable to do anything other than smile, Ana says, "If you don't tell him, I will."

Christian eyes narrow and he says, "I don't think so, Miss Steele."

Just that look is enough to turn her euphoria to lust and Ana says, "How do you plan to stop me, Mr. Grey?"

His eyes darkening with desire, Christian says, "Well, a man with resources as vast as mine has all manner of options. But I think that I'll settle for fucking you until you can't use your legs."

Still smiling, Ana reaches out and gently traces the line of Christian's tear down his cheek and holds his gaze as she puts the finger in her mouth, making a show of sucking his moisture from the tip. And then, for the second time tonight, she says, "No one's stopping you, Mr. Grey."

With a growl, Christian pins Ana to the mattress with his body, grabbing her wrists and pushing them above her head, and then he almost ferociously kisses her, forcing his tongue past her teeth to plunder her mouth in desperate need. But then, only seconds later, he lifts his head and takes a deep, trembling sigh, reigning in his passion, and says, "Pain. Where's your pain?"

Ana considers downplaying her discomfort. She knows that it will disappear as they make love, because it always does. But Christian is clearly in earnest, so she considers for a second and says, "Uh, almost everywhere, but it's more a dull ache than real pain. I'm okay, Christian, I swear."

The too-fast rise and fall of his chest and the erection pressing against Ana's groin the only indication of Christian's arousal, he studies her face for a few seconds, obviously unsure about whether to proceed. And then he suddenly spins them both, so that Ana is on top, and achingly slowly lowers her onto him, joining their bodies as they sigh in unison at the exquisite rightness of the gesture. Christian reaches up to cradle Ana's face in his hands and pulls her head down to his for a tender kiss, and then he says, "Marry me." When Ana laughs, he kisses her again and repeats, "Marry me."

Still smiling, Ana grinds against him, imparting pleasure to both of them, and says, "I think that your little…sorry, _above-average_ Christian is making the decisions right now."

Releasing Ana's face, Christian says, "I'm serious, Ana. Marry me."

Confused, Ana frowns and loses the smile to say, "You can't be. I just this minute agreed to move in. I'm not even nearly ready for marriage."

His countenance almost serene, Christian says, "The only difference between living with me and being married to me is that we'll officially belong to each other, and you'll be financially secure for the rest of your life."

When Ana climbs off Christian, he makes no attempt to stop her, only turning to follow her movement. Lying on her side to face him, hugging her body in an unconscious warding gesture, Ana says, "I don't want your money."

His expression kind, Christian says, "I know, sweetheart. But you won't let me get rid of it, so we're stuck with it. However, I'm content to funnel just enough money into your current bank account to ensure you won't freak out. The rest of your substantial wealth will remain unseen." And then he grins and adds, "Until you get used to being rich, anyway."

"You've thought about this."

"Almost constantly since we got back together."

Finally relaxing a little, Ana says, "Funny, mostly it seems like fucking me is all you think about."

Christian smiles and says, "That, too." And then he repeats, "Marry me."

Still unconvinced that it's the right thing for either of them, Ana can't resist teasing him, "Traditionally, I think those words are supposed to be a polite request, perhaps even accompanied by the word _please_."

With a tranquil smile, Christian shakes his head and says, "That word is an attempt at persuasion, and I'm not trying to persuade you. I don't want you to marry me because it's what I want. You'll marry me because it's what _you_ want."

Trying to get her head around the idea of Dominant Christian being okay with letting her making this decision without his influence, Ana frowns and shakes her head in confusion as she says, "And if I refuse?"

Pain, not anger, flares in Christian's eyes, but then he forces a smile and says, "I'll probably cry again. But then, just as I did when you refused to move in with me, I'll wait until you're ready." And then he grins and continues, "Hopefully with more patience this time."

Still reeling, her head starting to ache with the weight of her thoughts, Ana says, "Why? You've said yourself that you're not a patient man." Nervous about giving him more ammunition against her, Ana hesitates and then reveals, "And I suspect that you _could_ persuade me, if you really wished it."

Smiling slightly at her admission, Christian says, "Thank you. That can't have been easy." And then he explains, "It was Flynn who helped me understand. We were discussing how upset I'd become after you refused to move in, and he asked why people obey me. I thought he was fucking with me, at first. But the more I thought about it, the more I realized that almost everyone I've ever known has obeyed me out of fear; of losing their salary, financial support, my friendship, affection or time. But you, Anastasia, you…." Christian shakes his head and continues, "The fear only makes you _more_ stubborn. You'll never do what I want simply because you fear the alternative. You'll only ever obey me because it's right for both of us."

Beginning to understand, Ana smiles and asks, "Another first, Mr. Grey?"

"I think so, Miss Steele. Now, are you going to fuck me, or not?"

Already climbing back astride him Ana says, "Yes. But then I want to discuss this some more, okay?"

Guiding Ana onto his still prominent erection, Christian rather breathlessly says, "I'd be shocked if you didn't, Miss Steele."

Sensing that Christian is in an amenable mood, Ana takes hold of his wrists and pushes them above his head, meeting no resistance from him. Looking down at his lazy, contented smile, she says, "You really want to marry me?"

Christian groans and complains, "For the love of God, Ana. Will you please just fuck me?"

Ana laughs and starts moving along the length of him, reveling in both the exquisite sensation of him being inside her, and the equally thrilling feeling of being the one in control for a change. As the warm feeling of pleasure expands throughout her body, Ana releases Christian's arms and says, "Touch me."

As his hands glide up her torso towards her breasts, Christian jokes, "What, no _please_?"

Grinding against him, Ana leans her head back, quickly becoming lost to ecstasy as Christian's expert hands enclose her breasts, and she says, "Just do as you're fucking told."

Christian chuckles and then teases her nipples erect, even as he says, "Yes, ma'am."

White-hot pleasure sparking from her groin to her nipples and back again, Ana moans and steps up the pace, reaching behind her to clutch Christian's thighs for support. Answering her unspoken need, he bends his legs, so that she can lean against them, and then slides his hands down to her groin, prompting Ana to gasp, "Please."

His thumbs flicking over her already swollen clitoris, Christian says, "Oh, so you _can_ say it."

But then there are no more words as they spiral towards climax. Suddenly, Ana needs to feels his lips on hers and almost dives forward. Quickly moving his arms to encircle her, Christian meets her heady kiss with equal passion, even as they continue moving against each other. Somewhere in the midst of that embrace, Ana pulses through an orgasm, the result of three hours of foreplay. She's still riding the waves when Christian grabs her hips in a vice-like grip and holds her a little above him as he thrusts into her body with abandon. Seconds later, he clutches Ana to him as he finds his own release. Utterly spent, they rest like that for a while, and then Ana, her face muffled against Christian's chest, says, "I need to pee."

Christian barks a laugh and releases her as he says, "My Ana, ever the romantic."

Ana kisses him and slides of his waning erection as she says, "Hey, at least I didn't have to go after you'd strapped me to the bench."

"True. But I thought of that. You'd been just before you asked to play, or I would have suggested it."

"You think of everything, don't you?"

Christian shrugs and says, "I try to. That's part of my job."

Momentarily confused, Ana says, "As CEO?"

With a knowing smile, Christian says, "As your Dom."

The familiar panic at the thought of being dominated erupts within Ana and she snaps, "I'm not your submissive!"

Frustratingly calm, Christian says, "Not what I said, baby. It's entirely up to you how far you're willing to submit. For now, you'd better pee, so that you can talk yourself into marrying me."

Furious, and not even sure why, Ana snatches the pillow from beneath Christian and drops it forcefully onto his smug face as she says, "I wouldn't bet on it, Grey."

Christian laughs at her attack and recovers quickly enough to steady Ana as she wobbles exiting the bed. And then he says, "Looks like I won't have to fuck you much to ensure that you can't run to Flynn."

Still fuming, Ana ignores him and heads to the bathroom. She's almost there when a pillow hits her back. Fully aware that any retaliation will only please Christian, she doesn't even look back to say, "I'm not picking that up."

After using the toilet, Ana dawdles over brushing her teeth, considering everything that's happened in what seems like an impossibly short space of time. Less than a week ago she was desperately lonely without Christian. Now this infuriating, challenging, damaged, beautiful man wants to marry her. And it occurs to Ana that she might never be lonely again.

When Ana returns to the bedroom, it's to see that Christian has stolen her pillow and is lying with his hands behind his head, watching her every move. With a sigh, she picks up the pillow from the floor and walks towards him. Christian smiles and says, "Good girl."

Sighing, as she puts the pillow on top of Charlie Tango, Ana says, "You must know that pisses me off."

"Yes."

"So why say it?"

Seemingly wary of her mood, Christian says, "Because I have a feeling it's one of the things you like, but have been fighting against."

With a non-committal shrug, Ana says, "Don't know. For now I suggest you find some other term of address, because I need a clear head right now."

Christian studies her for a second and then says, "Fair enough. You have questions?"

Delaying long enough to put on her t-shirt, Ana sits cross-legged on top of the covers, not quite trusting herself to get closer to him, and then asks, "What do you mean, it's up to me how far I submit?"

Turning on his side to face her, Christian says, "Uh, I'm not sure that I can put that any clearer. I believe that you will become more submissive the longer we spend together, but I'm content for you to go at your own pace. This needs to be something we both choose, or it won't work."

Every BDSM website she's visited flashing through her mind, Ana furiously demands, "You think that I'll wear a collar, or maybe lick your boots?"

Matching her rage with a frustrating calm, Christian says, "Again, not what I said. I'll only ask that of you if it's something you need, and I seriously doubt you'll ever want either of those things. I'm almost certain that you would find them humiliating, and we know from the exercise during dinner that humiliation isn't something you crave."

Taking a deep, calming breath, Ana says, "Okay, so what _will_ you expect of me if we get married?"

"_When_ we get married, I'll expect you to show me respect, and I offer you the same consideration."

Trying to picture exactly what that might entail, Ana asks, "The punishments?"

Christian nods and says, "Will continue. But I'll only ever punish you if you deserve it, or ask for it."

Shocked, Ana echoes, "Ask for it?"

That infuriatingly knowing smile lights Christian's face again and then he says, "Think about it, Ana. You know what it does for you. Imagine having a shitty day at the office, where nothing goes as planned. And then imagine coming home to my faded jeans and twitching palm."

Her groin tightening at his words, Ana is practically panting as he says, "That could work."

Christian smiles again, gentler this time, and says, "Marry me."

Furiously shaking her head, to clear her increasing need to surrender, Ana says, "Stop doing that! I need to think."

"About what? Why are you afraid of this?"

Struggling to articulate her fears, Ana borrows his words, saying, "Too far, too fast, Grey."

Christian smiles and says, "True, but it seems to be working out very well for us so far."

Suddenly seeing a way out, Ana says, "I need to call Kate."

Immediately wary, Christian asks only, "Why?"

Annoyed at his mistrust, Ana says, "Did you miss the part where I said _need_?"

With obvious reluctance, Christian starts getting out of the bed as he says, "Okay. I'll be at the piano, so you'll know I'm not listening."

"Thank you, Christian." He's pulling his jeans on when Ana says, "And no _Here Comes the Bride_, or my answer will be an emphatic no."

Christian leaves the room laughing. Ana retrieves her phone and dials Kate, who answers, "Hey, sweetie. Everything okay? How did he take it?"

Suddenly flashing back to Christian's reaction on seeing Charlie Tango, Ana is almost in tears as she says, "Oh, Kate, he cried."

"I take it that's unusual?"

"As far as I know, he hasn't done that since he was a toddler."

"This sounds like a good thing?"

"It is."

"So why do you sound so miserable?"

"I'm…he wants to marry me."

"Yes, you said…oh, fuck, you mean right away?"

"Yes. He's asking every few minutes, and you've no idea how much I want to just give in."

"Fuck. What's his rush?"

"It's…well, he's not used to waiting for anything he wants…although, he did say that he's prepared to wait, and he has been extraordinarily patient this week. But then he goes ahead and asks me again…God, I'm so confused. Tell me what to do, Kate, please."

"Want me to talk to him?"

Ana laughs, concerned when it sounds a little hysterical, and says, "I don't think that would be a very good idea."

"Okay, then how about you at least sleep on it? It's almost midnight and I'm guessing you're still all post-coital glowing? No one thinks clearly in that state. Get some sleep. And, if he doesn't back off for one night, put him on the phone with me."

With a deep, trembling sigh, Ana regains a semblance of calm and says, "Thanks, Kate. You're a lifesaver. This man is going to drive me insane."

Kate laughs and says, "I'd say you're already there, sweetie, just for putting up with him. But I do believe he loves you. Elliot says that he's never seen Christian so happy before."

Desperate for any information about Christian, Ana says, "Really? What exactly did he say?"

"Uh, well, I can't remember how we got onto Christian…oh, he mentioned that they had lunch together this week, and Elliot said something about how his brother smiles now. Apparently, that's unusual."

Confused, Ana says, "Christian smiles all the time."

"I'm sure he does, sweetie, when he's with you."

At these words, as if by magic, Ana's fears melt away and she says, "Thank you, for that. Okay, I'm gonna go now. Thanks, for talking sense into me."

"You're welcome, sweetie. Call me any time. Oh, and I was serious about putting him on the phone if he gives you any more shit, okay?"

Ana giggles at the idea of Kate reprimanding Christian, and then says, "I'll warn him. Night, Kate."

"Night, Ana. Sweet dreams."

Ana stares at the phone for a while and then adds her pajama pants to her t-shirt before heading to the living room. She recognizes the tune Christian is playing. Her stinging butt reminding her not to sit on the piano stool, Ana stands behind him and slides her hands over his shoulders to embrace him before kissing his cheek and asking, "Drift Away?"

In answer, Christian sings, "The world outside looks so unkind. I'm counting on you to carry me through." And then he stops and clutches Ana's hands to his chest as he asks, "And how is Miss Kavanagh?"

Ana leans on Christian's shoulder to say, "She says that you're to back off for tonight and I should at least sleep on it before giving you an answer."

Apparently unsurprised, Christian turns his head to kiss Ana's cheek and says, "Good advice."

"Yes, it is." And then Ana smiles and says, "I've decided to ignore her, but I want a proper proposal." Christian tenses and his mouth drops open as she grins and continues, "I mean, we can hardly go telling people how you proposed with your dick inside me, can we?"

Christian recovers the power of speech and says, "No, I suppose not." And then he smiles and rises from the seat, keeping hold of Ana's left hand as he moves far enough to drop to his knees before her. And then it's Ana's turn to stare in open-mouthed shock as Christian removes an engagement ring from the coin pocket of his jeans and puts it on her ring finger as he says, "Anastasia Rose Steele, will you please do me the honor of becoming my wife?" Somehow, Ana manages to hold the tears at bay until Christian tenderly kisses the back of her hand. And then he smiles up at her and asks, "Traditional enough for you, babe?"

Joyful tears flowing unheeded down her cheeks, Ana smiles down at him and says, "I think tradition demands that you be on _one_ knee."

Still smiling, Christian shakes his head and insists, "You deserve both."

Scrubbing the tears from her eyes enough to clear her vision, Ana examines the ring, to see that it's an Art Deco design; a single, huge diamond surrounded by delicate filigree in an almost white, silver metal. On noticing the pattern, she smiles and again feels like weeping as she says, "Hearts and flowers."

"Yes." And then Christian asks, "Well?"

Ana knows what he's asking and offers him a hand getting to his feet as she says, "Yes, I'll marry you."

Christian almost somberly kisses her, a tender declaration of his feelings, and then he rests his forehead against Ana's to whisper, "It's about time."

Ana giggles and says, "You really are phenomenally impatient, aren't you?"

Christian kisses her again, more passionate this time, and then lifts Ana in his arms as he says, "Not at all. I've had the ring since Monday."

Smiling at the thought of Christian carrying the engagement ring around all week, waiting for the right moment to propose, Ana leans against him, blissfully happy. And then she realizes that they're entering his study. At her questioning look, Christian puts Ana on her feet and says, "I've got some papers for you to sign."

Not quick enough to keep from rolling her eyes, Ana protests, "Christian, it's after midnight."

Christian's eyes immediately narrow in anger, but then he brightens and quickly kisses Ana's cheek before saying, "You're tired and your butt is pink, so we'll let that one slide. But I was serious about requiring your respect, Ana." He unlocks a drawer, removing a manila folder, as he says, "And you know very well that you'll be awake staring at that ring for quite a while yet." And then he grins and adds, "After you finish talking to Miss Kavanagh, of course."

Accepting a pen from Christian, Ana asks, "What am I signing?"

"Well, I'd prefer you read everything first. But the top form is a marriage license, and the others will ensure that, from the moment we're married, everything I own will also belong to you. We can decide what sort of budget you're comfortable with another day."

Not exactly reluctant, Ana asks, "And I'm signing this right now because?"

Christian grins and says, "Because you said yes, and this is how I operate."

Ana looks at the top form, to see that is it indeed a marriage license. After a quick glance over it, Ana says, "It says here that my new surname will be _Grey_."

Immediately tensing at the question, Christian warily says, "Yes."

Ana looks at Christian, studying his face, and asks, "Is this a need for you?"

Relaxing a little at her question, Christian considers for a moment and says, "No. Not quite a need, but pretty fucking close." With a shrug, he confesses, "It's a Dominant thing."

Ana studies him for a few more seconds and then reveals, "Mom says that I should pick my battles with you, and let the rest go."

Still a little wary, Christian nods and says, "I suspect you were going to do that anyway, but it's excellent advice."

With a nod, Ana bends over to sign her name as she says, "This one I can let go."

As she finishes, Christian kisses the back of her neck and says, "Thank you."

Ana stands up straight and looks at him to smilingly ask, "Do you plan to do that for every signature? Because you're going to seriously mess with my penmanship."

Christian smiles and says, "No. Just that one. I was expecting more of a fight." With a nod at his desk, he reveals, "I've actually got other forms with hyphenated options."

"Of course you have." And then Ana shrugs and says, "It obviously matters far more to you than it does to me." With a grin, she adds, "Plus, there's no way I could tell people my name is Grey-Steele, or Steele-Grey without laughing."

Christian chuckles and says, "That occurred to me, too." And then he glances at the forms and orders, "Hurry up, so you can give Miss Kavanagh the chance to try and dissuade you before she goes to sleep."

Ana grins and quickly works her way through the paperwork, signing her name where indicated as she says, "You don't seem concerned that she'll succeed?"

Locking the papers back in his desk when she's done, Christian says, "I'm not."

When he then quickly kisses Ana and lifts her in his arms again, she giggles and asks, "Are you ever going to let me use my legs again?"

Shaking his head, Christian says, "Not tonight." Once in the bedroom, Christian gently places Ana on the bed and nods towards her cellphone on the dresser as he says, "If you're not done when I've finished taking a piss and brushing my teeth, _I'll_ have a word with her, and no one wants that."

When he's gone, Ana stares at the phone for a while, imagining Kate's outrage at this sudden, life-altering decision. Next, she replays Christian's proposal as she stares at the stunning extravagance on her finger. And then, with a quiet, confident smile, she climbs into bed.

* * *

Author's note: If you want some idea of the ring, the closest I could find is entitled "Art Deco Hearts and Flowers Diamond Filigree Platinum Engagement Ring". Search that and click Images if you want to see it. Fair warning; our tastes may differ and you risk spoiling the image in your head.


	33. Chapter 33

Author's note: Bad news, my darling perverts; "Castle" Season 5 is finally airing here. So you need to prepare yourself for a pause in this story some time soon. There's a chapter or two still here, I think. But then I'll return to my first love for a while. Fair warning; my answer, when nagged, has always been a firm. "No!" For now, enjoy the story with me. Thank you, for reading.

* * *

On the Rocks: Chapter Thirty-three

Ana wakes in darkness, not sure what has disturbed her sleep. She feels something moving under her pillow and the evening's adventures flash through her mind in a moment. So she guesses that the movement is Christian's hand, checking on Charlie Tango. Biting her lip to keep from laughing, she feigns sleep. Only a second later, a hand quests along her left arm, stopping only when it touches the platinum ring still on her finger. It's too much and a snort of laughter escapes from her. Christian stills and then flicks on the soft lighting behind the headboard before asking, "Something funny, Miss Steele?"

Joy bubbling up within her, Ana moves into his welcoming arms and rests a hand on Christian's bare chest as she says, "Yes. I dreamt that you proposed marriage mid-coitus."

Christian smiles and says, "And I dreamt that you accepted."

"But you weren't positive?"

Shaking his head, Christian says, "How could I be?" Capturing her left hand and kissing it before staring at the ring for a second, he continues, "It seems beyond the realms of possibility."

Ana reclaims her hand and snuggles against him as she says, "I'm sorry that I fell asleep."

Christian kisses her hair and says, "It's all right, sweetheart, we've got all the time in the world now."

Idly wondering if anyone in the world feels as happy as she does right now, Ana says, "The rest of our lives."

They're quiet for a while and then Christian asks, "What sort of wedding do you want?"

"Uh, I've no idea. I hadn't really thought about it."

"Don't all women think about such things?"

Ana laughs and says, "I'm twenty-one years old and you're the only man I've ever been attracted to. Why would I be planning my wedding?"

"Fair point, Miss Steele. Think about it now."

"Uh, okay. I guess…I don't want a big wedding. How about close friends and immediate family?"

"You've no idea how glad I am to hear you say that."

Looking up at him, Ana says, "You don't want a big wedding, either?"

Smiling slightly, Christian says, "Well, no. But it's more the fact that a big wedding would take some time."

Ana smiles and says, "We're going to be wed as soon as you can get everyone in one place, aren't we?"

Christian grins and says, "Abso-fucking-lutely; before you come to your senses and change your mind."

Ana stretches up to kiss him and then says, "I won't change my mind. But it's just as well there's a waiting period in Seattle." When Christian only smiles, she realizes, "You've found a way around that, haven't you?"

"I did warn you to read the documents. They're backdated to Tuesday. We could get married today, if you wish."

"Is that legal?"

"Not actually. But Brit will have made sure that no one can unravel the paper trail. If anyone asks, you also accompanied me, in person, to apply for the marriage license, as is required by law."

"Christian, you're incorrigible."

"I'm a man in love. It makes us do crazy things."

Ana smiles and then frowns and asks, "Wait, Brit knew that you were going to propose?"

Christian smiles and says, "I'm glad he held his tongue. I know you two have been chatting this week. And who do you think will perform the ceremony?"

"Brit can do that?" When Christian smiles at her enthusiasm and nods, she says, "That's perfect. Okay, darling; soon as you can arrange it."

Holding her a little tighter, Christian asks, "Truly?"

"Yes. You're not the only one crazy in love."

There can be no answer to that other than a kiss. When he reluctantly ends it, Christian touches his nose to Ana's and says, "Okay, but not today. You've got a driving lesson."

"Oh, I'd totally forgotten about that." And then she laughs and says, "I suppose that you'll always have to remind me of stuff like that?"

"Also part of my job."

Eyeing him speculatively, Ana asks, "As my Dom?"

Christian's eyes widen in surprise and he says, "Yes. You're already unafraid of the idea?"

"Oh, I'm still afraid. Just saying it out loud makes my stomach clench. But you've never lied to me, Christian, and you've promised to proceed at my pace."

"And I mean it."

Feeling suddenly very tired, Ana asks, "Do I need to know what sort of things will warrant punishment?"

"No, sweetheart. I'll never punish on the first offence, and I'd much rather that you work this stuff out for yourself."

"Why?"

"Because me teaching you to respect my wishes isn't even nearly the same thing as you offering your respect."

Ana ponders this for a while, becoming increasingly sleepy and then says, "Respect like making an effort to be on time when I'm meeting you?"

"Yes. That's a good example. For now, you need to respect yourself and get some more sleep."

Ana jokes, "Geez, I have to respect myself as well?"

Christian switches off the light and says, "Ana, that's the number one way you can please me; look after yourself, okay?"

Ana dreamily caresses his chest as she promises, "Yes, Sir."

* * *

When Ana next wakes it's morning. She's lying almost on her stomach, her t-shirt is pulled up and someone is kissing her back…thoroughly kissing her back. Knowing that it's Christian, she rolls completely onto her stomach and turns her head towards him as she says, "Mmm…how's the damage?"

Christian pauses his exploration of her body long enough to say, "Already fading. Looks like I still know how to handle a whip. How do you feel?"

Ana stretches her entire body, arms above her head, and then reveals, "Deliciously sore. My butt is probably the worst. Good thing I don't have work today, because my chair is a hand-me-down from David's last assistant." When Christian again pauses, Ana says, "Don't buy me a new chair."

Christian chuckles and lies down beside her, continuing the caress of her back with one hand, as he says, "Most people complain that they have no idea what I'm thinking. But you seem to always just know."

Ana leans towards him enough for a quick kiss and says, "Not always. I wasn't expecting a proposal last night."

Christian shakes his head and says, "Me neither. I swear that I was going to wait for the perfect moment. But, once again, I got carried away." And then he smiles and continues, "Turned out okay, though."

Suddenly desperate for closer contact, Ana turns and moves into Christian's arms, entwining her legs through his, and shyly says, "We're engaged."

Christian kisses her forehead and says, "Yes. You like the ring?"

Bringing her left hand up before her eyes, Ana stares at the ring and says, "It's beautiful, Christian, thank you." And then she frowns and says, "This is effectively the same thing as wearing a collar though, isn't it?"

"Uh, well, I'd prefer to think of it as a symbol of my commitment to you, but I guess that it's also a sign of ownership, in a way. Does it bother you?"

Ana grins and says, "Have I so far made a fuss about you thinking of me as your property?"

Squirming, Christian says, "Well, no, but…I _am_ getting better, Ana, I swear."

Distressed that he seems so uncomfortable, Ana reaches up to caress his cheek, saying, "I know, darling. I'm not going to change my mind, Christian. It's for better or worse, right?"

Visibly relaxing at her words, Christian says, "Yes, it is. Thank you."

Ana rests back against him as she says, "Unless you try and make me eat like a pet again, and then the whole thing's off."

Christian chuckles and says, "Duly noted, Miss Steele. Any concerns or questions this morning?"

"Uh…oh, why did you call me a good girl and refer to yourself as my Dom last night? You must have known that would upset me."

"You're the mind reader. You tell me."

Ana considers for a moment and then says, "Because you wanted me to know what I'm getting myself into if I agreed to marry you?"

"Yes."

Her voice small, Ana doesn't look at Christian to say, "It still scares me."

"I know, sweetheart. But I'm right about this, and we'll get there together."

"But _why_ are you so sure that I'll become more submissive? Despite enjoying some of the things we did while I submitted to you last night, it honestly doesn't feel like something I want…mostly it just terrifies me."

Automatically offering a calming caress of her back, Christian says, "You won't submit because it's something you want, Anastasia. You'll do so because it's who you are." When Ana tenses, he quickly continues, "And I know that idea scares the shit out of you. Just remember, sweetheart; your pace, okay?"

Ana relaxes and is quiet for a while and then says, "I'm glad you persuaded me to start therapy."

"About that; she's not into kink."

Ana smiles that he's already investigated her therapist and asks, "No?"

"No. She studies us, as if we're a curiosity, and makes no secret of the fact that she's pretty much plain vanilla."

"How can you possibly know all that?"

"She's written countless papers on the subject. You didn't search her name?"

Ana flexes her hand where it rests on his chest and says, "Why? That's your job, right?"

Without sounding very upset, Christian says, "See, right now I can't tell if you're messing with me or becoming okay with my controlling ways."

Ana giggles and says, "Why can't it be both?"

Christian laughs and says, "I guess it can. So, it doesn't bother you that Dr. Brandt can have no idea what you're going through?"

Ana ponders the matter for a while and says, "No. John has made the right choice. You know how much this scares me. I couldn't open up to a therapist if I thought that they might try and persuade me into submission." Ana can't help a grin as she then teases, "Again; your job."

Christian reaches down and lightly smacks her butt as he says, "Kind of wish I hadn't gotten so carried away yesterday now. You're definitely testing my twitching palm."

Ana only smiles at that, and then she remembers and asks, "Your medication?"

"Oh, yeah. I'll send you the information. It's a once-a-day beta-blocker that will hopefully ensure that I don't go straight to panicked rage whenever something upsets me. Flynn seems certain that we should see a big difference in my behavior in six weeks."

"So soon? Why haven't you done this before? It can't be just your hatred of drugs?"

"No, it's…the treatment involves reliving memories."

"Oh." They're quiet for a few seconds, both imagining how unpleasant that will be for Christian, and then Ana says, "Want me to be there?"

Christian gasps and says, "You'd do that?"

Ana looks up at him and says, "Of course. If you think it will help."

Looking acutely uncomfortable, Christian says, "Fuck, Ana, you're going to make me cry again."

Ana kisses him and then teases, "My fiancée, the crybaby."

Christian smiles and says, "Okay, you could probably call me anything today if you add fiancée to the sentence, but I'd tread carefully if I were you, Miss Steele."

Ana kisses him again and says, "Yes, Sir." They're quiet again for a while and then Ana asks, "Oh, the camera?"

"Oh, yeah." Christian has to leave her arms to look for it. He eventually retrieves it from where it's fallen onto the floor and hands it to Ana as he says, "Should probably be more careful with it now that you're on there."

Ana startles at his words and says, "There's no one else on here, is there?"

Christian barks a laugh and says, "I'm not suicidal, Ana; of course not."

Ana quickly works out how to operate the simple camera and they look at the pictures together. Ana pauses at one of her body cob-webbed by ropes, stretched out in the submissive pose with her hair flowing forward like a curtain and she says, "I look quite pretty, don't I?"

Christian kisses her forehead and says, "I think that's a little modest. You're stunning."

Ana clicks through a few more to find the photos Christian took of her marked back. She stares at them for a while and then says, "It looks like it should have hurt more. I can't believe I let you do that to me." With a grin, she confesses, "Or that I enjoyed it so much."

Christian laughs and says, "Neither can I. Not something I ever expected to do again. After you left…anyway, I'm grateful."

Thinking about the beating Christian gave her that led to them breaking up, Ana asks, "Have I experienced that pain since? It hasn't felt like it, but the pain gets all mixed up with pleasure now."

"No, sweetheart. You asked for the worst and that's what I gave you…to my eternal regret. A wide belt like that actually hurts quite a bit, without leaving much damage." With a shrug, he adds, "Though the cane is probably the worst."

Her mind suddenly considering something she'd rather not, Ana says, "And you know…I mean, you _know_, right?"

Wary of her mood, Christian takes the camera from Ana and puts it aside before saying only, "Yes."

"But how does that work, if you're a dominant personality?"

"I don't want to fight today, Ana. You always get upset when we talk about Elena."

"I'm just trying to understand, Christian, not trying to pick a fight."

After a long sigh, Christian says, "It worked because I was almost six feet of raging hormones and would have, quite literally, crawled over broken glass for a fuck. The shit she asked of me was worth it for the chance to finally find an answer for all the urges I had no hope of fulfilling otherwise. And, of course, most of the time it was pleasurable. Though, like you, I'm not a big fan of humiliation."

Ana is quiet for a while as she considers his words and then she asks, "What did you look like then?"

"Pretty much the same as I do now, just a little shorter and with less chest hair. If you recall, I'd been chopping wood and helping out in the garden since I was ten."

This rewrites the image Ana had held in her brain of a young, vulnerable Christian being taken advantage of by an older woman and she says, "Oh."

Guessing what she's thinking, Christian grins and says, "I keep telling you she's not a pedophile. At fifteen, I had the body and appetites of a full-grown man."

Unable to stop her rising ire, Ana says, "That doesn't make it right."

In a tone that brooks no argument, Christian says, "Time to talk about something else, I think."

Ana is quiet for a while, trying to think of a way around her anger. But it's no use. There's no way to discuss Christian's introduction to kink without becoming furious at the woman who dragged him into that world. With a deep sigh, releasing all her tension, And says, "I'm glad that we both started out like this." At Christian's confusion, she explains, "You expressed remorse about going too far, too fast. But you were thrown in at the deep end, too. I'm glad we have that in common."

Christian's eyes widen in surprise and he says, "I hadn't considered that, but you're right." With a glance at the clock, he suggests, "We'd better make a move at some point. Any more questions?"

"What else is in the drawer?"

Ana sees fear and then shame flicker across Christian's face, so she prepares for his refusal. Instead, he says only, "Memories; some painful. You're welcome to look, but I'd advise against it."

At once terrified of what she might find and, as always, desperate for any scrap of information about Christian's past, Ana hesitates only a second before saying, "Please."

Christian studies her face for a while and then says, "Okay."

It's only when he climbs out of bed that Ana sees his ankle, for once uncovered, and she exclaims, "God, Christian, is it meant to look like that?"

Looking down at the yellow, green and purple joint, Christian says, "So I'm told. It's only been six days, Ana. And it's only thanks to Diana that I'm walking unassisted so soon." He reaches for the ankle brace and starts strapping it on as he says, "Oh, she says to thank you."

"For?"

"I let her massage my back yesterday. Apparently, she's been dying to work the knots out of those muscles." He grins in response to Ana's wide smile and continues, "For some reason she thinks that my relationship with you has something to do with it."

"I'm glad. And maybe I could schedule an appointment with her? Once my stripes disappear, anyway."

"Sure, babe. I'll set it up."

"Your job?"

Smiling at the question, Christian says, "Looking after your comfort? Absolutely. Speaking of which, go pee and then I'll show you the drawer."

Christina is casually dressed in jeans and a navy sweater when Ana finishes in the bathroom, and he silently takes her hand. His silence makes Ana wonder how nervous he is, but she decides to trust him. As they make their way to the playroom, Christian stops by the kitchen where Gail is preparing breakfast. He pulls Ana past him into the room, twirling her as he does so, and says, "Good morning, Mrs. Jones. I'd like you to meet my fiancée."

Shocked enough to juggle and almost drop the pan she's carrying, Gail recovers enough to say, "Morning, sir." With a dumb-founded look from Ana to Christian and back, she echoes, "Fiancée?"

Wondering if everyone will react this way, Ana laughs and displays the ring as she says, "I'm afraid so. No doubt the men in white coats will appear later today to cart me off to the asylum."

Gail puts down the pan and almost hugs Ana, but changes it to a vigorous handshake as she cheerfully says, "Well, that's wonderful news. Congratulations, Ana." With a nod at Christian, she adds, "And to you, sir. When did this happen?"

Beaming, Christian says, "Last night, after Ana agreed to move in. Apparently, such gestures make me emotional and prone to lavish displays of affection. Where's Taylor?"

"Checking the car, last I heard. Miss Steele has an appointment this morning?"

Christian nods and says, "Oh, of course. Not a word, okay? I want to see the look on his face."

With a conspiratorial wink, Gail says, "Yes, sir. Breakfast in twenty minutes?"

"Perfect."

Without another word, Christian leads Ana to the playroom. Once there, he releases her hand, crosses to the drawer and unlocks it, stepping aside to give her access. Ana asks, "You sure?"

With a quiet smile, Christian counters, "Are you?"

"How can I be? I don't know what's in there."

Christian nods and then says, "A photo of the crack whore. Some tokens of my early childhood. The first fly I tied without Carrick's help." At Ana's confusion, he explains, "Fishing." And then he looks uncomfortable as he adds, "And a Polaroid of me in a compromising position."

"Compromising?"

"Collared and beaten at her feet. She got a bit carried away that day with the cane. I limped for a week and couldn't sit without pain for quite a while after that."

At first unable to process these words, Ana can then only say, "Fuck."

With a wry grin, Christian quietly says, "Eloquently put, Miss Steele."

Trembling, unsure and uncaring if it's from rage, fear or disgust, Ana says, "Why the fuck would you keep it?"

With a shrug, Christian says, "A memento, I guess. It's all I have of that time."

Suddenly feeling like she's suffocating, Ana simply has to get out and almost bolts for the door. She ignores Christian's frantic call and subsequent expletive, only stopping when she reaches their bedroom. Panting and trembling, she stands in the middle of the room, wondering how she can just erase the last few minutes from her memory.

Christian arrives only seconds later. Panting slightly from exertion, he warily approaches as he says, "Ana? Baby, what's wrong? Do you want me to destroy it?"

Holding up a hand to stop his progress, Ana almost spits out, "She beat you?"

"Well, yeah. What did you think we were doing?"

"And being collared? You enjoyed that?"

Christian shrugs and says, "I put up with it, so that I could fuck her."

The makings of a stupendous headache threatening, Ana says, "Can't you see…? Christian, there's no way you'd do that to someone. How can you think…?" Shaking her head at the futility of trying to make Christian see how warped that relationship was, Ana then says, "I need a shower. Would you please ask Gail to put my breakfast aside?"

Visibly distressed, Christian approaches close enough to put his hands on Ana's arms, and he says, "Baby, let's just talk about this. I'll get rid of the photo. I don't need it…haven't even looked at it in years."

Her walls firmly in place, Ana straightens her back, lifts her chin and repeats, "I need a shower."

Looking confused and hurt, Christian drops his arms to his sides and says, "Okay."

Grateful that he's leaving her alone, because she's not sure there's enough strength in her to resist him, Ana heads to the bathroom and starts the shower running before dropping her pajamas on the floor. The tears wait only until she's under the stinging, hot jets of water. Seconds later her quiet weeping becomes sobbing. Soon after that, she's on sitting on the floor, arms wrapped around her knees in a bid to contain the hurt inside, rocking and keening her grief for Christian's lost innocence.

Suddenly, he's with her, fully clothed, and wordlessly pulls her onto his lap as the water cascades over both of them. Ana clings to him, desperate for comfort. When she's calmed down a little, Christian reaches above them to turn off the water. Still saying nothing, he easily lifts her in his arms. Once outside the cubicle, he puts Ana on her feet and cocoons her in one of the enormous bath sheets. His expression pure sorrow, he doesn't quite meet Ana's eyes as he sheds his sopping, wet clothes.

Still weeping, Ana struggles to get herself under control, because being the cause of such distress hurts even more than thinking about him being tortured for sex. It's clearly a lie, because she's still trembling and weeping, when she haltingly says, "I…I'm okay now, Christian. I'm sorry."

Christian ducks as if she's struck him and shakes his head as he says, "Fuck!" Finally able to look her in the eye, he begs, "Please don't apologize, baby, or you truly will break me."

His words doing nothing to stem the flow of tears, Ana gulps and says, "Okay." Somehow then finding the strength to stop crying, she says, "But you mustn't either. None of this is your fault, Christian."

A glimmer of hope appears in Christian's eyes and he warily says, "All right. No apologies." With that now almost achingly familiar gesture of shame, Christian shrugs his shoulders and says, "I'm not very good at them anyway."

When Christian then starts trembling slightly, Ana knows it's only the chill of being naked and wet, so she approaches and wraps the towel around both of them, pressing her body against him. With a groan, Christian wraps his arms around her and, when he kisses her, it's an apology after all. When their lips part enough to permit speech, Ana smiles and murmurs, "Are you going to fuck me now?"

His erection, sandwiched between their bodies, a tactile indication of his willingness, Christian equally quietly asks, "Would you like me to?"

Ana lets the towel drop to the floor as she says, "I would, but only if you're very gentle."

Beaming his gratitude, Christian carries Ana to their bed and surprises both of them with just how gentle he can be.

* * *

Where credit's due: To AriadneInNaxos; a voice when I request it, and an ear when I need it. Thank you.

To everyone who told us what's in Christian's locked drawer, especially marpuri for the photo of him as a sub. I think we'll want to see what else is in there at some point. I'm still curious.


	34. Chapter 34

On the Rocks: Chapter Thirty-four

Once again relaxed and in each other's arms, Ana says, "Wow. That _was_ gentle, thank you."

Sounding a little surprised, Christian says only, "Yeah."

"You didn't like it?"

Christian holds her a little tighter and says, "Oh, I did, babe. I'm just a little surprised how much."

Ana giggles and says, "Next, you'll be sending me flowers."

"Is that something you want?"

"Uh, I don't know. You're my first boyfriend, so I've little experience of the practice. I'm not missing it, if that's what you're worried about."

Christian relaxes again and says, "Okay, we'll save that for special occasions then. And it's fiancée now."

Smiling, Ana says, "Sorry; fiancée. Special occasions like what?"

"Uh, Valentine's Day, I guess…maybe birthdays. I've even less experience of the practice."

"Then maybe you should stick with what you know."

Her tone and expression providing the clue, Christian says, "Like fucking?"

With a wicked grin, Ana says, "Yes, I do."

Christian laughs and says, "Yeah, me too." They're quiet for a while and then he says, "Can we talk about the photo?"

With a sigh, Ana says, "There seems little point, Christian."

"Are you angry with me?"

Ana has to laugh at that, and then she asks, "Does it seem like I'm angry with you?"

Christian smiles and says, "No, it doesn't. Do you want me to destroy it?"

"I really don't give a fuck what you do with it. You're smart enough to know that it's not the photo that upset me. Though I don't want to see it."

"What did you mean when you said that I'd never do that to someone? I get the feeling you're not talking about collaring or caning…both of which I've done to women, by the way."

"You have?"

"As part of consensual play, yes."

Shaking her head to try and get rid of that image, Ana then says, "No, I'm not talking about that. You'd never ask someone to tolerate something undesirable, just so they could have sex with you."

Christian is quiet for several seconds and his voice is quiet when he says, "I don't see my relationship with Elena that way."

"Exactly. That's why I got so upset. She used you and abused you and you can't even see it." Nervous about how far to push Christian, now that they're actually having a conversation about that time, Ana hesitates before asking, "What does Flynn say about it?"

Squirming, Christian reveals, "I haven't…some things I won't discuss with him. I told him enough of the details so that he could understand how I got into kink. But that's it."

Her heart beating loud in her ears, Ana says, "You're stronger now, Christian. I think you can do this…_we_ can do this."

Christian is quiet again for a while and then lifts Ana's hand from his chest to his lips and says, "I'll think about it. Right now I need a shower and we both need breakfast."

Disappointed that he's apparently fobbing her off, but thrilled that they both kept their cool this time, Ana sits up out of his arms as she says, "I think the medication is working already, Christian." At his huge smile, she realizes and says, "You haven't started taking it yet, have you?"

Still grinning, Christian says, "Nope. Flynn insisted on a full medical first, and I don't have the results yet. Apparently, you're the best medicine for me." Ana is still staring at him, on the verge of tears, when Christian asks, "Are you going to fuck me now?"

Ana sobs a laugh and manages to keep the tears at bay as she says, "No. But I'd very much like to shower with you."

His smile widening for a second, Christian then says, "By amazing coincidence, that's what I'd very much like, too."

* * *

They manage to shower without again ending up in the bed, then get dressed and are eating breakfast in the dining room when Christian says, "Okay, I'll talk to Flynn."

Not daring to hope that she's guessed his meaning, Ana asks, "About what, specifically?"

Christian smiles slightly at her mistrust and says, "About his professional opinion of my deviant sexual relationship at the tender age of fifteen with a woman old enough to be my mother; a woman who beat me, humiliated me and fucked me…specifically."

It's enough, for now, so Ana says only, "Thank you."

Christian nods his acceptance of her gratitude. They eat in silence for a while and then he says, "No questions?"

"About that? No. You trust Flynn, so I trust him, too."

"Okay. What about anything else? I want to marry you more than I've wanted anything in my life. But we need to approach this with our eyes open, or it won't work."

Suddenly nervous, Ana says, "The punishments." When Christian only waits for more information, Ana asks, "When, where, how, and how often?"

"When, we've already discussed to some extent. If you give your consent to accept discipline, and I consider something you've done warrants punishment, I'll say so. If you agree, there will be no warning the second time you cross that line…other than the maintenance spankings, of course."

Ana smiles and says, "Sometimes it seems like every answer you give leads to more questions."

Also smiling, Christian says, "So ask."

"If I agree? You mean that you won't punish me if I think you're wrong?"

"Of course not. I won't punish you if you honestly don't think you deserve it. Obviously, you'll have to pose a cogent argument in your defense, and possibly do so gently, if I'm really pissed. Oh, that's another thing; I won't ever lay a hand on you if I'm in a rage. It's too dangerous."

Ana considers for a moment and says, "If I don't think I deserve it; like when I bolted from the car, instead of letting you bring me here?"

"Exactly. I was too upset to think clearly that night…God, it seems like ages ago, doesn't it? You were right to defy me. I was…did I ever mention that one of the symptoms of a dominant personality is a reluctance to admit when we're wrong?"

Ana laughs and says, "No. But it makes sense." And then she asks, "Maintenance spankings?"

"Sorry, babe; kink-speak. I mean the spankings that I described as stress relief. And regular, light spanking means your ass won't go into shock each time. Again, this will be with your consent and/or at your request."

Ana nods her understanding and then asks, "Where?"

"Uh, _where_…well, neither of us want a public display, I presume?" At Ana's horrified expression, Christian chuckles and says, "Relax, baby, I don't want that, either. Though I will definitely have to make you _think_ I'm doing to spank you in public, just to see that look on your face again." When Ana only glares at him, he continues, "Uh, let's say only in the playroom? That seems like a good practice to adopt considering that we're planning a family."

"Okay. I can live with that. Will it still only be with your hand? And will we always have sex afterwards?"

Christian smiles and says, "I'm glad that you've been thinking about this. I know that our breakneck pace is mostly my fault, but it almost scares me how much faith you have in me. Yes, only with my hand for punishments, as promised…I believe you still have that one in writing?" At Ana's smiling nod, he continues, "Uh, I think maintenance spanking will always be foreplay, unless you make it clear that you wish otherwise. But punishments may not. I know you don't quite believe all this yet. But sometimes you'll actually need me to spank you and leave you, or maybe fuck you for my pleasure alone. Until you work that out in your head, you'll have to trust me to make such judgment calls, and I'll trust you to safe word if it's not working for you. Oh, but if you use a safe word twice in a row, I'll call a time-out while we reexamine what it is we want from our relationship."

Almost dizzy with all this information, Ana says, "Uh, I think that's it…oh, how often?"

With a knowing grin, Christian says, "Surely, that's up to you, babe?"

Now more confused than ever, Ana says, "But…what?"

Still smiling, Christian says, "You'll be the one deliberately provoking me." When Ana is still confused, he explains, "Step one: I hopefully calmly inform you that something you did upsets me. If you agree that it warrants punishment, then the next infringement will lead to step two: me informing you that punishment is due and commanding you to wait for me in the playroom at our earliest convenience. Step three will be my twitching palm on your tender, white ass. Oh, yeah, no spanking on a red ass." With a grin, he adds, "I'll just have to get creative if you're naughty that often." At Ana's expression, Christian grins salaciously and asks, "Turned on yet, babe?"

Wondering how the hell he can read her so well, Ana lies, "Not even a little bit." And then she grins and continues, "Okay, let's put aside the fact that just thinking about your hand on my ass makes me wet; what if I _don't_ provoke you? How often would you then spank me?"

Christian smiles and says, "Baby, the idea of you no longer provoking me strains credulity, and would probably be grounds for divorce. Uh, I guess...if you don't specifically ask for it, and haven't pissed me off for a week, I'd insist on a maintenance spanking. But we won't actually schedule it, or it will lose some of its benefits. Unless you'd prefer it more often?"

"No. That sounds about right." And then Ana smiles and says, "Not a conversation I'd ever imagined having. But I really appreciate you discussing it with me, thank you."

Leaning over to kiss her, Christian then says, "No, baby, thank _you_. I have fears too. I don't ever want to hurt you…not more than you want, anyway." With a glance at his watch, he adds, "For now, eat up. Brad will be waiting for you."

"You're not coming with me?"

"No. I've got stuff to do." With a grimace, Christian confesses, "And the way you drove last time scared the shit out of me."

Ana laughs and says, "It was fun. Will you be okay, knowing that I'm driving like that without you?"

Still looking like a man in pain, Christian says, "Brad will keep you safe. But, if you don't mind, I'd rather think about something else."

Ana laughs, suddenly carefree, and says, "Maybe you can think about how, on our first night as man and wife, I'll lift up the hem of my wedding gown and beg you to spank my tender, white ass?"

Christian's eyes nearly pop out of his head and then he grins and says, "That could work. Thanks, babe…though now I'm not sure I'll be able to think of anything else today."

Ana resumes her meal with a smile on her face. And then she suddenly exclaims, "Fuck! I have to call Kate. She doesn't know I'm engaged."

"I thought you told her last night?"

"No. I'm not going to change my mind. So I didn't give her the chance to start a long conversation at that hour."

Christian, a little too carefully, wipes his mouth on his napkin and then says, "Okay. I'll call Brad and let him know you'll be late. And, for future reference, you should know that being late for appointments I've scheduled is one of the things that pisses me off."

Not sure how she feels about it, Ana says, "You're going to punish me?"

"Not this time. For a start, you're still sore. And, secondly, you haven't yet consented to it."

"But…you've punished me in the past."

"Yes, but we're not talking about a temporary arrangement, Anastasia. So you need to be very sure this is what you want."

"What if I decide against it?"

With a grin, Christian says, "Then we'll fuck like ferrets and pain will be restricted to play."

Catching his mood, Ana grins and says, "And if I don't want to play?"

Still smiling, Christian says, "Now you're just being ridiculous. Go break the bad news to Kate. Tell Sawyer when you're ready to go."

"You won't be here?"

"I told you, sweetheart; things to do."

About to go get her phone, Ana instead climbs onto Christian's lap and into his arms as she asks, "But you'll be here when I get back?"

Christian kisses her and says, "I hope so. Either way, I'll see you almost soon enough."

When Ana silently begs for another kiss, Christian is more than happy to oblige. Before they get carried away again, he groans and says, "You'd better go, or neither of us will get anything done today."

Ana quickly kisses him and says, "Thanks again, for discussing it with me, Christian. It helps."

"You're welcome, baby. Now go and ruin Kate's day. I'll see you later."

When Ana stands up to leave, Christian smacks her on the ass. She yelps and whirls on him to accuse, "You said no punishments today."

Grinning like a kid, Christian shrugs and says, "I slipped."

* * *

Kate answers on the third ring and says, "Well?"

Smiling, Ana says, "I'm very well, thank you. And you?"

"Don't fuck with me, Steele. I've been worried about you. Tell me you didn't do anything stupid?"

"Like accept Christian's eloquent proposal and engagement ring?"

"Fuck! Yes, just like that. Are you sure about this?"

"Strangely, yes. He's still got a long way to go before he's healed. But even fucked up Christian is the best thing that's ever happened to me. And we're talking about stuff, Kate. It's wonderful."

"It's too fast, Ana. Only a week ago you were bawling your eyes out over this guy, and now you're engaged?"

"If you recall, I was bawling my eyes out because we were apart. I only feel right when I'm with Christian."

After an audible sigh, Kate says, "Okay, Ana, if that's what you want. When's the wedding? I'm guessing he won't want to wait long?"

Ana laughs and says, "Doubt it. Uh, no idea. I only want a small…oh, will you be my bridesmaid? I don't really have anyone else."

"Sure, sweetie. I'd love to. So; small wedding?"

"Yes, I've given Christian permission to organize it asap. I'll let you know the details when I have them, okay? For now, I have an appointment and I'm already late."

"Fuck. You're engaged."

Ana giggles and says, "Yes, Kate, that was the point of this conversation."

"Shit, have you told your Mom and Dad?"

"Oh, hell, I'd better do that right now, hadn't I?"

"Well, Carla will have your hide if she learns about it from the society pages."

With a groan, Ana says, "Then I really have to go. I'll talk to you soon. Thanks, Kate."

"For?"

"Agreeing to stand with me, and for recognizing that I'm serious about this."

"Well, you know that I wasn't happy about the whole contract thing. But you're…I dunno, more _you_ since meeting Christian…I can't really explain it."

"No, you explained it exactly right. I was barely alive when I met him. But now…okay, I could talk about Christian Grey all day, but I really need to go. Thanks, Kate."

"You're welcome, sweetie. Call me if you need anything, okay?"

After a very similar conversation with Carla and then Ray, Ana is finally able to let Sawyer know that she's ready to go. After accepting his congratulations on her engagement, they head to the driver training complex outside the city and Ana finally gets to experience her second driving lesson. On the way back to Escala, still riding high on the adrenalin rush of driving the Porsche, she amuses herself with searching for pictures of wedding dresses on her phone, but eventually succumbs to her body's increasing need for rest.

* * *

When Ana wakes, Sawyer is parking the car. She doesn't recognize this part of Seattle and asks, "Where are we?"

"Wallingford, ma'am."

"Why?" Just then she sees Christian approaching the car and says, "Never mind. Thank you." As Christian opens her door, she says, "What's going on?"

Smiling, Christian says, "Time to buy you a dress."

Utterly confused, Ana says, "Are you monitoring my phone?"

With a bemused grin, Christian says, "No, baby. I'm not that stupid or that paranoid…well, not that stupid, anyway." As he helps Ana out of the car, he asks, "Been looking at wedding dresses, have you?"

"Maybe."

Taking her hand and leading her towards a nearby bridal store, with Sawyer at a discreet distance behind them, Christian says, "Good. That should speed things up a little."

When Ana plants her feet, Christian stops and turns to her, one eyebrow raised in question, and she says, "Why is speed necessary?"

"Because I want to marry you, babe. And you said that I could do it soon."

Suddenly worried, Ana asks, "Christian, are we getting married tonight?"

"No."

Ana at first relaxes, but something in his tone alerts her and she asks, "Tomorrow?"

With a huge grin, Christian reveals, "It's not beyond the realms of possibility." And then he drags her after him again as he says, "But only if we find you a suitable dress."

Ana pulls her hand from his grasp, forcing him to again face her, and then she says, "We can't get married tomorrow."

Frowning, Christian says, "Of course we can. All the paperwork is ostensibly in order. Brit's ready to go. Carla, Bob and Ray will be at my parents' place for dinner and stay there overnight. If the weather's nice, we'll hold the ceremony in the grounds. Kate's on board. I've bought our rings. It's all done, baby."

Her legs feeling a little weak, Ana shakes her head as she says, "No, it's not. You didn't ask me."

Putting his arms around her waist, Christian smiles and gently says, "I did, babe. You said as soon as I can arrange it. And that's what I've done."

Of course, he's right. Still, Ana protests, "Yes, but…fuck, Christian; tomorrow?"

Christian grins and says, "Your Mom will be at dinner, so you should probably ease back on the f-bombs. And, yes; tomorrow. What's the problem?"

"The problem is that yesterday we didn't even live together and tomorrow you want to get married."

Christian tenderly kisses her and then says, "No, babe. Tomorrow I _will_ be married. You gave your consent."

Fear rising in her that he might actually hold her to such a reckless promise, Ana forces her body to relax and then says, "Except that you wouldn't really proceed if I don't wish it."

A flicker of pain passes over Christian's face and then he releases Ana as he says, "No, not really." In a wounded tone, he asks, "You don't want to marry me?"

"Not what I said. But I'm not ready. Can we please just take a breath and talk about this?"

Only his calm exterior and polite manner indicating how upset he is, Christian motions for Sawyer to unlock the car and then says, "After you, Miss Steele."

Once they're settled in the privacy of the back seat, Ana says, "Please don't be angry."

Christian shakes his head once and says, "I'm afraid it's a little late to comply with your request. I can, however, remain calm and listen to your reasons for reneging on your word."

"I'm not…okay, I am. But please understand why this is so scary for me." When Christian only stares at her, his expression dark, she continues, "This is…well, it's forever, isn't it? And, like you said, we need to get this right. I'm still terrified of all this Dom/sub stuff and you want to start tomorrow? It's too soon, Christian."

Clearly confused, Christian says, "Were you not listening at all this morning? You being submissive and accepting discipline will only happen if and when you need it. That shit is more for you than me. I already have everything I need in you, Anastasia." When he then takes one of her hands and gently pulls her towards him, Ana realizes that Christian is, for the first time, asking her to sit in his lap. After she readily complies, leaning against him for comfort, he explains, "The only difference in our relationship after the ceremony tomorrow will be that we'll no longer be joking when we call each other wife and husband. But I understand that you're nervous, so I have a proposition for you. Right now, you'll choose a dress, because Kate and Mia are waiting inside and..."

Shocked, Ana looks up at him to echo, "Kate and Mia?"

"Yes, sweetheart. They're very excited…though Miss Kavanagh is even chillier than usual with me today." With a shrug, he says, "She'll have her chance like everyone else, tonight, to try and talk some sense into you." And then he continues, "When you have a dress, you and the girls will visit a local beauty spa for any treatment you care to undergo. Once you're suitably pampered, we'll meet for lunch downtown and then go shopping for your trousseau, because we'll honeymoon in warm climes and you'll need a new wardrobe."

Struggling to keep up with the conversation, Ana asks, "Honeymoon?" At Christian's smiling nod, she protests, "I have work, Christian."

Smiling with pride, Christian says, "Not for the next week, you don't. I've informed your now subordinate, Wintershoven. Those manuscripts are at his house. Someone else can finish that work…you really need to learn to delegate, baby."

Shaking her head, pain spreading through her skull, Ana puts her fingertips on Christian's lips and says, "Please, darling, you're giving me a headache. Could you slow down for just a second?"

Quickly kissing her fingers before she withdraws them, Christian says, "Sorry, babe. I'm a little wired today. You now own SIP outright; my gift to you. I'm content for you to assume any role that you feel suits your current level of expertise in the business, but I sincerely hope that you'll at least give yourself a promotion. Oh, it'll be Grey's Publishing by the time we get back, so your connection to me will be pretty much known by then."

"I own SIP?"

"Grey's Publishing, yes."

"Christian, I can't run a company. I can barely find my socks in the morning."

Christian laughs and says, "True enough, but you won't have to run it. Wintershoven can do that for now. The previous owner must have been a bigger control freak than I am not to let him take over before now. It only took me one meeting to see that he has a precise and shining vision of where the company needs to be in the future. And then, hopefully, by the time he's ready to retire, you'll have some idea where your socks are and can take over from him."

Trying to get her head around this revelation, Ana says, "I…okay, let's put that aside for now. Where are we going on our honeymoon?" When Christian only smiles, it's obvious that he's not going to tell her and she softly accuses, "Bastard."

Christian beams at her and gently says, "Welcome back." And then he nervously licks his lips and says, "How about this; we go ahead as if you're _not_ freaking out. Tomorrow morning, if you're still adamant that it's too soon, we'll celebrate our engagement with family and friends, instead of our marriage. And then the week-long honeymoon will be just a vacation, and we'll get married next weekend."

Her vision blurred by unshed tears, Ana says, "Why are you so good to me?"

Tenderly forcing her eyes shut with his lips on each lid, Christian then kisses her and shrugs as he says, "Who else would put up with me?"

Ana laughs, a sound of pure joy, and then says, "No one in their right mind, that's for sure."

Smiling, Christian asks, "Sill crazy in love?"

Smiling back at him, Ana says, "Certifiably."

They're still kissing when Sawyer gently taps on the window. With a growl, Christian lifts his head to see that Kate and Mia are approaching, and he says, "Uh, oh. Pissed bridesmaids at ten o'clock. Oh, is it okay if Mia is an attendant? She's dying to join in and…well, I've always had a hard time refusing her, mainly because she doesn't listen to me."

"Of course. Mia's fun. Oh, where's Taylor? I thought he must be with you, but clearly not. And how come you get to travel around without an escort?"

"Excellent questions, babe. But the look on Miss Kavanagh's face could peel paint, so you'd better go." He opens the door and spins Ana so that she can exit, then follows her, saying, "Sorry, ladies. The bride is a little skittish. So, Mia, if you could _not_ tell her any stories about me, I'd be grateful."

Mia slips her arm through Ana's and leads her towards the bridal store as she proclaims, "My dear brother, I have no idea what you're talking about." Almost in the next breadth she says, "Shall I tell you about the time Mom caught him trying to break into his room, drunk as a skunk, when he was only fourteen?"

Christian growls, "Mia!"

Without looking around, Mia says to Ana, "It's almost irresistible to tease him, isn't it?"

Ana looks back at Christian for a second as she smilingly agrees, "Yes, it is."

When Christian realizes that Kate hasn't followed the two women, he nods and says, "Miss Kavanagh."

"Skittish?"

"Yes. Apparently, we still have a lot to learn about each other. Because, when Ana said that I could arrange the wedding as soon as possible, she didn't guess that I'd take her words literally."

"But she's all right now?"

Looking after Ana as she and Mia enter the store with Sawyer in tow, he says, "I think so, but..." And then he runs a hand through his hair and says, "Fuck. I don't want to screw this up. I just…she'll decide in the morning. In the meantime, we'll plan for a wedding and see what happens." Without looking at Kate, he confesses, "I really did try to resist her, you know? Even when I was sure she wanted me, I warned her to stay the fuck away from me." And then he finally looks at Kate to conclude, "But she didn't listen, and now I honestly don't know that I could live without her."

Kate studies him for a moment, and then she punches his arm and says, "Geez, Grey, man up. You've got a wedding to plan."

At first shocked, Christian then smiles and says, "And you have a bride to pamper." She's already turned to leave when he adds, "Thank you, Kate."

Glancing back at him, Kate says, "You're welcome, Christian."


	35. Chapter 35

On the Rocks: Chapter Thirty-five

Christian is almost to his car when he hears Ana frantically calling his name. Relieved to see that she hasn't managed to elude Sawyer, despite her apparent panic, he catches her in an embrace as he says, "Whoa, baby, what's wrong?"

Her arms wrapped tight behind his neck, she whispers, "My stripes."

Actually sagging a little with relief, Christian smiles and whispers back, "Sorry, babe, I forgot to mention Simone."

Ana looks at him to warily ask, "Simone?"

Christian grins and says, "Not a sub, Ana, I swear. I've never even met her before today. But she's famous, in a way, and owns this store…along with another, less conventional clothing store uptown. You can trust her to not only help you find an appropriate dress, but also assist you in the changing room. Any other concerns?"

"The spa?"

"Same issue?" At Ana's nod, Christian says, "Simone recommended Natalya. So, if you choose any treatment that requires your back being exposed, you need only hide it from Kate and Mia, okay?"

"But you'd prefer I kept it from everyone."

"I would, only because you…_we_, don't need that kind of risk. But you're an excellent judge of character, so I'm content for you to decide." With a shrug, Christian says, "After all, this may become an ongoing issue, considering how much you enjoyed it." When Ana blushes, he adds, "Oh, Anastasia, I adore you."

Trying to look angry, Ana reminds him, "Mr. Grey, you're not a nice man."

Grinning, Christian says, "True, but at least I'm consistent in my meanness. I'm a bastard to everyone." And then he kisses Ana's forehead and releases her as he says, "Seriously, babe, you need to choose a dress, or Mia will explode from excitement. You're lucky that you weren't here while she and Kate chose their dresses. My little sister is even less patient than I am."

Ana laughs and says, "I doubt that. All right, Christian. I'll see you soon."

As she's turning, Christian nabs her hand and says, "Oh, wait; what traditions are you keen on?"

"Wedding traditions?" At Christian's nod, Ana says, "Uh, I wasn't kidding when I said that it's not something I've thought about much…I guess…why don't we keep all the fun stuff and ignore the rest? Unless you're superstitious?"

Christian laughs and says, "Hardly. Oh, but our Moms may well be."

"Christ, I hadn't thought of that. Are we staying at the house?"

"Uh…fuck, this is getting complicated already. Go, get a dress. We'll discuss it later." With a grin, Christian suddenly pulls Ana hard up against his body and says, "You're not so scared now."

Smiling, Ana says, "Oh, I am. I'm just hiding it really well. Now fuck off, so I can choose my wedding gown."

His voice warm, Christian says, "Do you have any idea what it does to me when you talk like that?"

Pressing her thigh against his groin, Ana "innocently" asks, "What does it do to you, Mr. Grey?"

"Ana, if you don't behave yourself, I'll have to marry you tonight."

Unconcerned, Ana steps back as Christian releases her, and she says, "No, you won't."

"No, I won't. I love you, Ana."

Her chest actually aching at his tone, Ana says, "Fuck, Christian; why would you do that when we have to be apart for the next couple of hours?"

Grinning as he gets in his car, Christian says, "Not the accepted response, but I like it. Have fun, babe."

Ana blows Christian a kiss as he starts the engine, and is amazed when he returns the gesture. Wondering if her eyes are playing tricks on her, she glances at Sawyer, to see that his eyes are wide with disbelief. As she heads inside, she asks the normally taciturn bodyguard, "You ever seen him do that?"

Smiling a little, Sawyer says, "No ma'am. I seriously doubt that anyone has."

Never a fan of clothes shopping, even without pre-wedding jitters, Ana pauses at the entrance of the bridal store and says, "Are we ready to enter the lion's den?"

His smile widening, Sawyer admits, "No, ma'am."

Summoning her strength, Ana says "Too bad," and enters to find that the champagne is already flowing. Mia hands her a glass as the charming Simone shows them to their seats. What follows is a seemingly endless parade of dresses modeled by only a handful of women, and Ana can't help but think of Disney dalmatians. Feeling almost superfluous to the process, because Kate and Mia make their very strong opinions on each dress loudly known, Ana sips her champagne and smiles when anyone speaks to her, all the while wishing that she were with Christian.

And then she sees her dress and says only, "That one."

Mia exclaims, "Eww, no."

Ana looks at Simone to repeat, "That one. How much is it?"

Looking uncomfortable, Simone says, "I'm sorry, Miss Steele. But Mr. Grey was adamant that the prices remain a secret."

Already on board with Ana's choice, Mia says, "Just go try it on, Ana. Christian won't care how much it costs."

When Ana looks to Kate, she says, "Mia's right, Ana. And, let's face it, _none_ of these would be in our price range otherwise, so you might as well have what you want."

Somehow managing to keep Mia from following her into the change room, Ana then says to Simone, "Uh, I have some marks on my back. They're fading, but…"

Too embarrassed to continue, Ana is beet red when Simone locks the door and brightly says, "Shouldn't be a problem, but let's see."

Still blushing, Ana removes her sweater and blouse to display her back. She flinches a little when Simone gently touches one spot on her back, and then the woman asks, "These are old?"

"Uh, no; from last night."

After a moment, Simone cheerfully says, "Then you're a lucky woman. They should be almost gone by tomorrow, and the dress will hide what's left. In case I'm wrong, Keromask is your friend. It's an excellent camouflage cream. You're seeing Natalya after this?"

"Yes."

"She'll make sure you're stocked up." Simone hands Ana a sheer, skin-tone singlet and says, "For now, this will do. Now, how about we get you into the last outfit you'll wear as a single woman?"

Relieved that the conversation wasn't nearly as painful as she'd imagined, Ana offers a weak smile and says, "Thank you."

Once she's in the gown, Ana is even more certain that it's the one for her. The look on Kate and Mia's face when she exits the changing room confirms it, and Kate says, "He'll die."

Mia nods and chimes in, "Choke, gasp and then die…with a smile on his face."

Kate grins and adds, "And a massive…"

Ana interrupts, "Kate!"

Kate only laughs and then asks Simone, "Undergarments?"

Simone asks Ana, "Anything particular in mind? We stock everything from the modest to the risqué. With your figure, we should be able to accommodate any choice you make."

Ana is still trying to think of an answer when Kate says, "Just bring us the risqué catalogue."

When Simone again looks to Ana, she says, "Please."

When Kate and Mia are finally satisfied Ana has everything she needs, Sawyer drives the women to the spa. Ana takes to Natalya right away and relaxes through several beauty treatments. Despite being offered food and drink on several occasions, she's still very hungry by the time they're finished. After seeing Kate and Mia into a cab, Ana climbs into the Audi and practically collapses. Sawyer heads downtown and, after a while, asks, "You okay, ma'am?"

Ana wearily lifts her head from the back of the seat and says, "I'm fine. Just…I'm not used to all this attention." When Sawyer says nothing, Ana adds, "Guess I'd _better_ get used to it, huh?"

With a shrug, Sawyer says, "Almost certainly, ma'am. But we'll keep you from the worst of it."

"Thank you. Do you think we can use first names when we're alone? Unless it's a rule with you guys. I know Jason doesn't like it."

After a moment, Sawyer says, "Okay, Ana. I'm Luke."

Relaxing again, Ana says, "Thank you, Luke."

They arrive at their destination only minutes later. Ana is surprised to see Taylor waiting on the sidewalk when the car stops. He opens her door and says, "Good afternoon, Miss Steele, and congratulations, on your engagement."

Copying his formal address, Ana says, "Good afternoon, Taylor, and why the hell weren't you protecting my fiancée earlier?"

Wincing as if in pain, Taylor holds her hand as she exits, saying, "I had other duties that Mr. Grey considered more important than accompanying him."

Guessing that it was against Taylor's will, Ana says, "I'm sorry."

Taylor only shrugs and then says to Sawyer, "Grab some lunch. I'll buzz you when we're ready to go."

When the car pulls into traffic, Ana says, "Where's Christian?"

Taylor gestures to a nearby café and says, "Given how late it is, he's taken the liberty of ordering for you. Lunch should be served any minute now."

Ana precedes him into the café and soon spots Christian. At least nowadays she isn't surprised that every adjacent table is vacant. He stands on seeing her and says, "You've had a haircut."

Smiling that he's noticed, even though she only had a trim, Ana says, "Yes. And I'm lightly tanned in places that only this morning were quite pale."

Frowning a little, Christian says, "Not everywhere, I hope?"

Ana almost falls into his welcoming arms and whispers by his ear, "Still white and still _very_ tender, awaiting your twitching palm."

With a groan, Christian crushes Ana to him and then kisses her as if they've been apart for days, not hours. Finally breaking contact, he comments, "You taste like champagne."

It doesn't seem like a criticism, but Ana nevertheless explains, "Just the one glass. Though Kate and Mia made up for my temperance."

Christian smiles at that and then complains, "What took you so long?"

Ana smiles and says, "I've been with your sister."

Also smiling, Christian says, "Point well made, as ever, Miss Steele. So, you have a dress?"

"I do. And some undergarments that would shock my mother…yours, too, probably."

Christian's smile widens and then he says, "Sounds promising." He looks past Ana and says, "Time to eat."

Ana lets Christian help her into her seat as she says, "Good. I'm starving."

From behind her chair, Christian leans down to kiss her temple and then whispers, "I'm hungry only for you, my love." His words by her ear snatching the breath from her body, Ana is still recovering when the chicken salad appears before her. So it's up to Christian to thank the waitress. Christian starts on his steak and then says, "I thought you were starving?"

Helpless with her feelings for him, Ana says "I was," but picks up a fork to make a start on the meal.

Christian chuckles and says, "Sorry, babe."

The first taste is enough to return Ana's appetite for food and, between mouthfuls, she says, "I don't believe you."

They enjoy their meal in relative silence, comfortable in each other's company, with Christian making no mention of the wedding, and it occurs to Ana that it's probably a deliberate omission on his part. She visits the bathroom while he settles the bill. When she returns, Christian on his cellphone and Ana's footsteps automatically slow, in case it's a private call. He spots Ana and motions her closer as he says, "Yeah. Yeah, she's here now. I'll put her on." He passes her the phone as he mouths, "Carla."

Ana takes a deep breath and puts the phone to her ear as she says, "Hi, Mom, I'm sorry that…"

She's interrupted by, "You're getting married tomorrow? You only got engaged yesterday!"

Mindful of Christian standing right beside her, Ana turns her back on him and says, "I know, Mom. Can we please talk about this tonight? When are you getting here?"

"We're already at the Greys'. You should see what they've accomplished in one day." When Ana says nothing, Carla says, "Are you sure you're okay, Annie? This is awfully fast."

Almost in tears at her Mom's compassion, Ana says, "I'm fine, Mom. I'm not on drugs. Nor have I been kidnapped. And I'm not pregnant. I am perhaps a little insane for telling Christian that he could arrange the wedding, but I'm already paying for that mistake."

"Okay, sweetheart, we'll see you at dinner. And check your phone; I couldn't get hold of you."

"Sorry, Mom, the battery must be flat. See you soon."

She wordlessly returns Christian's phone and can't quite meet his gaze. He pockets it as he softly asks, "Okay, babe?"

Still without a word, Ana moves into his arms. Christian silently holds her, caressing her hair and back, only stopping when she says, "I need to see my Mom."

She knows that it must hurt him, but Christian only sighs and says, "Of course. Taylor will take you to the house."

Ana looks at him to ask, "Leaving you unprotected?"

Christian nods a command to Taylor before saying, "Sawyer will be here in a few minutes, okay?"

"I will be in a few minutes, and then I'll go."

Tracing the line of her jaw with one finger, Christian affectionately murmurs, "You're a very stubborn woman."

"Just as well, since I'm engaged to a force of nature."

Christian grins and says, "I like that."

Ana smiles and says, "You would."

They sit in the back of Christian's R8 while they're waiting for Sawyer, and Ana says, "Oh, can I see the rings?" At Christian's hesitation, she says, "Just yours, then?"

At this, Christian produces a ring box from a pocket and hands it to her. Ana opens it to find a masculine looking ring in a lustrous, silver metal with a black, plaited whip-like pattern of metal running around the middle of it. She grins, thinking that the plait is entirely appropriate, but then realizes something and says, "It's cute, Christian, but we need to choose another."

"Oh?"

Sure of herself, Ana returns it as she says, "A black heart? I know that's how you see yourself, but nothing could induce me to put that on your finger."

She can see that he's surprised and then he says, "That's wasn't what I was thinking when I bought it. I thought you'd like it."

"I do. But, if that's the ring you're going with, then we're not getting married."

Ana watches in fascination as her very defiance makes Christian more determined. But then he visibly brings himself under control and asks, "Is this going to be a battle, or can you let it go?"

Without hesitation, Ana says, "Battle."

With a quiet smile, Christian says, "You're content to give up your name, but you refuse to let me wear this ring?" At Ana's emphatic nod, he says, "All right, babe. Do you want to choose one?"

Confident that he understands her, Ana moves onto his lap as she says, "No. You heard me this time. Thank you, darling."

Christian groans and says, "I don't think you should be allowed to call me that when we're too busy to have sex."

Ana grins and says, "You're complaining about the pace of our day?"

With a laugh, Christian says, "I see what you mean. Are you sure you're okay?"

"Other than freaking out enough to want my Mommy, I'm fine. You're not nervous?"

"Only of hurting you. Whether or not we get married tomorrow, it might be wise to remember that giving me permission to accomplish something on your behalf will almost certainly result in immediate action."

His formal tone of address confirming just how worried he is, Ana opens just enough buttons on Christian's shirt to find the comfort of his bare skin, eliciting a small sigh of pleasure from both of them. And then she puts one of Christian's hands over her heart and says, "We're okay, Christian."

They're interrupted only moments later by Taylor saying only, "Sawyer."

Ana moves off Christian's lap as she says, "I'll see you soon?"

Christian kisses her and again says, "Almost soon enough."

Once Christian has gone and they're on their way, Ana asks Taylor, "What other duties?"

Taylor glances in the mirror and then says, "Apparently the most difficult thing about arranging a wedding at such short notice is procuring a white limousine. Not even Mr. Grey's money could make that happen."

"But you did?"

Taylor's pride is evident when he says, "Yes, ma'am."

Ana smiles and says, "I sense a large bonus in your Christmas stocking this year."

Even from the back seat, she can see his wide smile, and then Taylor reveals, "There always is, Miss Steele."

Ana sighs and says, "I suppose that you'll insist on calling me Mrs. Grey if I get married tomorrow?"

"If?"

Suddenly worried, Ana says, "Christian didn't tell you? I'm…I said that he could arrange our wedding, but the suddenness of it is proving a little much for me, so he's content to let me decide by the morning." When Taylor makes no comment, Ana quietly says, "Still don't trust me enough to speak your mind, Jason?"

After a moment, Taylor nods, as if he's come to a decision, and then he says, "That morning, when I drove him to your apartment?"

Ana smiles and says, "You mean, that morning only a week ago?"

Taylor laughs and says, "Yes. I asked Mr. Grey what he'd do to get you back…"

Ana has heard this story and interrupts with, "And Christian said that he'd do anything."

Taylor nods and then says only, "He meant it."

Wondering how these few words can bring tears to her eyes, Ana manages to say, "Thank you, Jason."

The tears actually fall when Taylor then warmly says, "You're welcome, Ana."

On arrival at the house where Christian was raised, other than unfamiliar security guards at the gate, Ana sees no immediate evidence of Christian's preparations. But she catches a glimpse of a large marquee in the back yard and her feet are heading in that direction when Taylor says, "Uh, Miss Steele?"

Smiling, Ana says, "He's asked that it remain a surprise?"

Reassured by her manner, Taylor relaxes and says, "Yes, ma'am."

"But you won't stop me?"

"No, ma'am. I work for you, too."

Ana can see her mom at the open front door and heads that way, saying, "I guess it can wait."

Carla comes out to meet Ana and is obviously surprised when her daughter practically runs into her arms. After holding Ana a moment, she says, "Sweetheart, what's wrong?"

Surprised that she's not already crying again, Ana steps out of Carla's arms and says, past the lump in her throat, "Nothing, really. But a little over a week ago I was single and this time tomorrow I might be married."

"Might be?"

"I told Christian that it's too fast, so he's letting me decide overnight."

"Well, at least he has some sense, even if he is a little impetuous."

Ana actually laughs at that description and says, "Mom, you have no idea."

With a knowing smile, Carla says, "Oh, I think I might." And then she brightens and says, "Come on. Run the gauntlet of well-wishers and then you and I can have a nice, long talk about impetuous, young men."

* * *

Christian is almost finished buying Ana's clothes for their honeymoon when his cell rings. On seeing that it's Elliot, he's surprised but unconcerned as he says, "What's up?"

"Good news or bad news first, bro?"

"Uh, bad, I guess."

"We've been banned from the house."

"Which house?"

"Our house…Mom and Dad's. The women have apparently kidnapped your fiancée and forbidden us from breeching the sanctity of their…what is a group of women called, anyway?"

Anger building within, Christian growls, "A fucking disaster. Where are you?"

"On my way home."

"Okay, thanks."

"Wait. You haven't heard the good news, yet."

Uncaring, Christian sighs and says, "Go ahead."

He can almost hear Elliot's smile when he says, "Good news is the same; we've been banned from the house. So you and I are hitting the town tonight."

"Yeah, I don't think so, Elliot. I've gotta talk to Ana. I'll see you tomorrow."

"Okay. But they won't let you in."

Every word his brother says fuelling his rage, Christian calmly says "We'll see," and then hangs up. He calls Ana, only to have it go straight to message and exclaims "Fuck," when he recalls her saying something about a flat battery. Next, he phones the house and recognizes Gretchen's voice, saying, "Grey residence. To whom do you wish to speak?"

Almost ready to break something, Christian silently curses such pretentious phone manners and says, "It's Christian. Find Ana Steele and put her on the phone."

Immediately flustered, Gretchen says, "Uh…yes, sir. Just a moment."

Christian hears indistinct murmuring on the other end of the phone and then Mia's voice says, "Hey, big brother. Didn't Elliot call you?"

Summoning every anger-management technique Flynn has taught him, Christian keeps his rage in check enough to not quite shout, "Mia, put Ana on the fucking phone of I'll be there in ten fucking minutes and drag her out by her fucking hair!"

"Geez, Christian. Good thing Mom didn't answer the phone. Okay, keep your shirt on." And then she's gone.

Christian spends the waiting time focusing on calm. Suddenly, Ana's voice asks, "Christian?"

Wondering how the hell just that one word, in her voice, can work better than years of therapy, Christian says, "Baby, what the fuck is going on?"

"With what?"

"Elliot says I'm banned from the house? Is he shitting me? Because I'll fucking kill him if he is."

"Damn. I told them that I hadn't yet decided about that. Your mom…and mine, think that it's a good idea if we don't see each other tonight."

"What the fuck happened to only the fun traditions? We both know that you don't find being away from me fun, and I sure as fuck don't enjoy being without you."

"I know, but…I still can't think straight when I'm with you. I dunno…maybe they're right, Christian. I haven't changed my mind about marrying you, but…what do you think?"

Taking a deep, calming breath, Christian says, "I think that we might be about to find out if being a billionaire can help me get away with matricide." And then he sighs and says, "Would you please put my mother on the phone?"

"You're not angry?"

"Yes, I'm angry, but not with you. I'll be there for dinner and then Elliot and I will fuck off and leave you ladies in peace. If that's not good enough, then we really do have a problem."

"That sounds good to me. Thank you, Christian. So, I'll see you soon?"

"Yes, baby, real soon." When Ana says and does nothing, he prompts, "Grace?"

"Oh, right."

Christian hears the clunk of the phone being put down and seconds later Grace says, "Yes, son?"

Running a hand through his hair, Christian asks, "Mom, what are you doing?"

"The poor child is terrified, Christian. She needs a time-out."

"Are you going to make me regret agreeing to hold the wedding at the house?"

"No, dear. I'm just looking out for you by looking after Ana. I know you want what's best for her. Right now that is quiet time where the hardest decision she'll have to make is what after-dinner liqueur she'd prefer."

"Okay. If you're sure. I'll be there for dinner. But then I'll return to Escala and give Ana some time with her family. I presume you don't mind her staying with you for one night?"

Christian can hear the love in her voice when Grace says, "Ana will always be welcome here, Christian. Thank you, for being reasonable about this."

As always, embarrassed by his mother's praise, Christian says, "Yeah, well, whatever she needs. I'm in town; want me to bring anything?"

"Uh, just something for Ana to wear overnight, I guess."

Christian actually laughs and says, "Shouldn't be a problem. I've been clothes shopping for her all afternoon."

"Ana lets you buy her clothes?"

Smiling at the fact that he's always chosen his women's apparel, Christian says, "Only when she's nervous enough about getting married to suddenly need time with her mother."

After a moment, Grace says, "I'm glad you're being so patient with her."

Christina laughs again, harsher this time, and then says, "I think you're the only person in the world who knows that this is me being patient."

Her voice again filled with love, Grace says, "Not the only one; Ana knows."

"Yeah, she does. Thanks, Mom, I'll see you soon."

* * *

Ana is helping out in the kitchen, with all the women except Mia, when it seems that the universe gets quiet. So she's not even a little surprised when arms snake around her waist from behind and Christian's warm lips are on her cheek before he murmurs, just loud enough for everyone to hear, "If you're being held here against your will, cough twice."

Ana giggles and says, "No, darling, I'm fine." And then she removes her apron as she says to Grace, "Uh, sorry, okay if I…?"

With a kind smile, Grace says only, "Of course."

After wiping her hands, Ana lets Christian lead her out into the garden, where the waning light means that nighttime Seattle is already coming to life in the distance, and she says, "It really is beautiful here."

Christian lifts her hand to his lips for a second and then says, "Ours will be better."

Grinning, Ana teases, "You haven't already chosen our future home?"

With a shrug, Christian says, "It's down to three. You can help me choose."

Wondering why such forethought surprises her, given the events of the past twenty-four hours, Ana laughs and says, "You really are a force of nature, aren't you?"

Christian grins and directs Ana to a bench overlooking the water as he says, "Hurricane Christian?"

Ana sits down with him as she says, "Exactly."

They sit in silence for a few seconds, Christian with his arm around Ana, and then he hesitantly asks, "This is what you need?"

He can only be talking about spending the night apart, and Ana says, "I don't know that it's a need. But…this afternoon, since coming here, I feel more relaxed…less fearful. I'm sorry, Christian. You know that I'm not scared of you."

Christian laughs, the sound harsh in the quiet twilight, and then he says, "Hardly, or we'd be married already." And then he sighs deeply and says, "Okay, sweetheart; one night. But, if you don't dream of me, I'll be very disappointed."

Ana laughs and says, "Kate's insisting on sleeping with me. I think she's worried that you won't follow the rules. And I'm a little concerned that I'll try something in my sleep."

Christian takes the precaution of taking hold of her arms before saying, "Well, at least we now know what _I'll_ be dreaming of." Ana futilely struggles to retaliate, and he quickly amends, "Relax, baby, I don't actually enjoy threesomes."

That shocks Ana into stillness and she says, "But you're tried it?"

Beaming with pride, Christian releases her as he says, "Anastasia, I've tried almost everything."

Ana can't stop her brain from trying to imagine what that's like, and then asks, "You didn't like it?"

Christian shrugs and confesses, "No, I…it seemed like someone was always missing out."

Relaxing, Ana says, "I'm guessing that it wasn't you?"

With a grin, Christian says, "No, it wasn't me."

They're quiet for a while and then Ana nervously asks, "Have you…been with a man?"

After a moment, Christian reveals, "Like I said, I've tried almost everything. But it's not for me. Men are…pardon the pun; but they're hard where women are soft."

Ana ponders this revelation for a while, trying to work out how she feels about it and then something occurs to her and she says, "But, when you patted Brit on the cheek the other night, he said that you'd never touched him before?"

Christian gasps and tenses, but almost immediately forces his body towards calm and says, "I hadn't, not really."

Worried that he's upset enough to need his relaxation techniques, Ana rests her hand on his chest and says, "It's okay, Christian. He's family now. You can tell me, if you wish, but I don't need to know."

Relaxing further at her words, Christian hesitates a moment, but then says, "It was actually kind of sad. He asked me if I'd ever been with a man. When I said that it's not something that interests me, he pointed out that I don't really know for sure until I tried it. We didn't get past the kinky foreplay before I knew that I was one hundred percent heterosexual…okay, ninety-nine, anyway." With a shrug, he adds, "Given Brit's particular needs, I think he enjoyed it way more than I did. We've never mentioned it since." And then he looks at Ana to ask, "You're really not bothered by this?"

Ana smiles and points out, "If I decide to become jealous of anything from your past, we're in big trouble."

Christian laughs and says, "True." And then he swats at his neck and says, "Now, unless you have more questions, I need to go inside before these mosquitoes exsanguinate me."

Only then does Ana notice the insects hovering around them and she stands up as she says, "They must really like you. I've not been bitten."

Also standing, Christian shrugs and says, "Mom says it's the red hair. It's the same thing when we go camping or hiking. Elliot thinks it's fucking hilarious."

Ana takes his hand and they quickly head back to the house as she says, "He would." Once they're inside, she asks, "Can we go camping together?"

"Uh, sure, babe. I didn't know you liked it."

Ana shrugs and says, "I've not been for years. But Ray used to take me all the time when I was a kid; hiking, too. Mom would rather go shopping, though she came with us a few times." With a laugh, she continues, "And those few times were more than enough for everyone."

After a moment, Christian says, "I'm sorry that it didn't work out between Ray and Carla."

Ana knows that he's expressing regret for her, not her parents, and she says, "It's okay. For a while there, I had something like a regular family. We both know how precious that is."

Christian stops her progress towards the kitchen and pulls Ana into his embrace to say, "And now we get to make one."

Surprised, Ana says, "You're less afraid of the idea."

Smiling down at her, Christian says, "I'm less afraid of everything when I'm with you."

They're still kissing when the by now familiar sound of Kate simulating a vomiting attack fills the room. Rolling his eyes, Christian lifts his head to say, "Good evening, Miss Kavanagh."

Unrepentant, Kate cheerfully says, "Evening, Grey. If you're done with entrée, dinner is about to be served."

Ana is trying not to laugh as she says, "Thanks, Kate. We'll be there in a sec."

Kate has barely left the room when Christian murmurs, "Also, if I _were_ to imagine you with another woman, _that_ is not who I'd choose."

Putting an arm through his, Ana leads them towards the dining room as she says, "Good."

* * *

Author's note: Aahh; story won't let go of me! I'm trying to plan a wedding and Christian goes off on a tangent about experimenting with gay sex? Hopefully just one more chapter, but I'm clearly not in control of that.

The nearest pic I could find to the dress I'm imagining can be found by searching the image of "Cornelli lace Victorian long sleeve boned bodice £1300 and A-line duchesse skirt £1500" (misspelling and all).

Where credit's due: AriadneInNaxos, for saving my ass...I know, A; less gracious than usual, but still heartfelt.


	36. Chapter 36

On the Rocks: Chapter Thirty-six

With Christian appeased and Ana relaxed, the dinner party goes well. Even Elliot is permitted to join them, making Kate very happy. Grace rules over the casual festivities with her iron will, ensuring that sure no one pesters Ana with too many questions about the potential upcoming nuptials. Ana notices that the housekeeper still has a crush on Christian. Now supremely confident of his fidelity, she whispers to him, "Say something nice to Gretchen."

Brow furrowed in confusion, Christian says, "Why?"

"Because it would make her day and I want everyone in this house to be as happy as I am."

Clearly still confused, Christian only nods and returns to eating his meal. When Gretchen next passes within earshot, he nods towards the appropriately white floral decoration in the middle of the table and says, "Oh, Gretchen, thank you; the centerpiece is perfect."

Blushing a little, Gretchen says, "Oh, uh, thank you, sir. I thought you and Miss Steele might like it."

"Have you eaten, yet?"

"Uh, no, sir."

Rising to his feet, Christian says to Grace, "Mother?"

Bemused, Grace says, "Of course."

With only minor shuffling, a place is set for Gretchen who, still clearly embarrassed at the unusual attention, sits next to Christian. Ana watches in amused pride as her fiancée serves the woman who has waited on him for years. Sitting between Christian and Mia, Gretchen is eventually able to relax and enjoy herself. After a while, Christian leans towards Ana and whispers, "Happy enough for you?"

Genuinely moved that he would go to all that trouble just to satisfy her whim, Ana wonders if the smile on her face reveals her almost achingly powerful feelings for him when she replies, "Yes, thank you."

She knows that, in fact, her face _is_ an accurate portrayal of her love when Christian's eyes flare with desire and he kisses her cheek before quietly asking, "You sure about tonight?"

Blushing at the lust in his voice, Ana equally quietly says, "No. That's why I think it's a good idea."

Eyes still sparking with passion, Christian nods and turns his attention to Gretchen. Ana breathes a sigh of relief that he's being so reasonable, and then happens to notice Carrick staring at her. Not familiar enough with the man to interpret the look on his face, she merely smiles politely. He returns the gesture, but with something like guilt in his eyes. Too happy to let it concern her, Ana continues her meal, occasionally chatting with Kate and anyone else at the large table who can make themselves heard.

When the delightful and delicious dinner is concluded, Ana automatically helps clear, despite Gretchen and Mia's protests, but with Grace's gratitude. When Ana and Grace are alone for a second, the older woman says, "Thank you, Ana. That was a wonderful thing you did for Gretchen. She's been very good to us."

A little embarrassed at the praise, Ana says, "Oh, not a problem. But it was Christian's idea. I only asked him to be nice to her."

Studying Ana's face, Grace asks only, "Why?"

Reluctant to maybe get the housekeeper into trouble, Ana avoids any talk of Gretchen's attraction to Christian and says, "Uh, I told him that, because I'm so happy, I want everyone in the house to feel that way, too."

Grace's knowing smile makes Ana wonder just how much the woman knows about Gretchen's infatuation, and then Grace hugs her as she says, "I'm glad you're happy." Quickly releasing Ana, she continues, "But you'd better go find Christian and say goodnight. Because I doubt anyone else will persuade him to vacate the grounds."

Ana laughs at that and says, "You're probably right. Thank you, for…well, for everything. I'm happier than I thought possible, and I owe it all to you."

Grace scoffs, somehow doing even that with class, and says, "I provided a venue and organized dinner, that's it."

Smiling that, for once, Grace isn't the smartest person in the room, Ana says, "I'm talking about Christian."

And it's Grace's turn to look embarrassed as she says, "Anyone would have done that. If you'd seen him…."

When Grace doesn't continue, Ana says, "Maybe they would have rescued him, but they wouldn't have been able to love him like you have all these years. You've saved him so many times since then."

Back in control of her emotions, Grace says, "But you saved him from himself, Ana. He seemed lost before he met you. Now I feel like I've got my shining boy back again."

Struggling to keep her composure, Ana says, "I think maybe I'd better go find the man in question. Because, if either of us says another word on the subject, I'm going to cry."

Grace laughs, a lilting, melodic sound that rises easily from her throat, and then she says, "Then I shall merely conclude that, if my son offers any resistance, refer him to me."

Unable to find Christian in the obvious places, Ana eventually hears his voice. She also recognizes Carrick's voice as she approaches a room she's not been in. Not actually able to hear the conversation, Ana can tell from Christian's too calm tone that he's angry with his father. Her hand is raised, as she debates whether or not to knock on the door, when it suddenly opens and Christian almost runs into her. His furious expression immediately relaxing on seeing her, he looks from her face to her fist and asks, "Gang sign?"

"Huh?" Blushing, as she belatedly lowers her hand, Ana says, "Uh, no. I wasn't sure if I should knock or just wait for you to finish talking to your dad."

With a glance back inside the room, Christian then closes the door as he says, "We're done."

Without another word, Christian takes Ana's hand and starts walking. Only when she realizes that they're heading for his old bedroom does Ana stop, with some effort as it turns out, because Christian had been so focused on his goal. Glancing around to check if they're alone enough for conversation, Ana says, "Not tonight."

His fury returning in a heartbeat, Christian says, "You're not fucking serious?" When Ana only squirms uncomfortably under his glare, he takes a deep breath and asks, "Why?"

Blushing a little, Ana says, "I don't have to give a reason, Christian."

The anger leaving him apparently in one breath, Christian asks, "Would your reason have anything to do with hot wax?"

Angrily pulling her hand from his, Ana complains, "Damnit, Christian, it was supposed to be a surprise."

Drawing her into his arms, Christian lovingly says, "Oh, I'm surprised. Show me."

Relieved that his mood has improved, Ana smiles and says, "No."

After a moment, Christian says, "Okay, just describe what you had done. Please tell me you at least left a landing strip?" At her obvious confusion, Christian gently draws a line down the front of her groin with one finger as he explains, "Landing strip."

Her desire immediately peaking at his touch, Ana can't stop her body leaning into him, but somehow retains enough presence of mind to say, "We can wait one more day, and it's time for you to go."

One corner of his mouth turned up in a lazy grin, Christian says, "And if I don't?"

With a grin of her own, Ana says, "Then you'll have to deal with your mother."

Christian laughs and says, "Okay, Anastasia, you win. Walk me out?"

Suddenly wary, Ana asks, "No tricks?"

Christian reclaims her hand and smiles as he says, "Like a quickie in the hedgerow? Tempting, but baring my ass to those mosquitoes would leave me weak from blood loss."

Elliot is in the entrance foyer and says, "You've been evicted, too?"

Christian shrugs and says, "Apparently. Why don't you find Taylor? Then we'll have our designated driver for the evening."

Elliot immediately brightens and says, "You've changed your mind?"

With a reproachful look at Ana, Christian says, "Been changed for me, it seems."

When Elliot has gone, Ana nervously asks, "You're not going to get wasted, are you?"

Taking Ana in his arms, Christian says, "You don't honestly think that you get to tell me what to do?"

"No…I just…please, Christian. I don't want to have to worry about you."

With a grin, Christian crossed his heart and slurs, "Only moderately pished, babe. Good enough?"

Smiling, Ana says, "Good enough. Thank you, for being so patient with me. It means the world to me."

Holding her a little tighter, Christian says "_You_ mean the world to me," before his lips meet hers.

Ana is shocked when Christian almost brutally ends the kiss. She can see a hand clutching the shoulder of his jacket and Elliot behind him, saying, "For fuck's sake, man. You can do that tomorrow. Come on!"

Trying not to smile at Christian efforts to control his sudden ire, Ana releases him as she says, "Have fun."

With a woebegone expression, Christian mouths "Save me," as he lets Elliot drag him out the door.

* * *

In fact, Christian sees that their driver is Ryan, who explains, "Taylor went home, sir. Would you like me to call him?"

Waving away the issue, Christian says, "No, that's fine. I'll need him tomorrow."

Elliot climbs in the car as he asks, "Just how many bodyguards do you have?"

With a shrug, Christian says, "Taylor is the only one available twenty-four hours a day. There are eight others who share whatever other duties he deems necessary for mine and Ana's protection, four who actually accompany us everywhere. And their boss, Welch, hired more for tomorrow, just in case." And then he instructs Ryan, "Downtown."

They're underway when Elliot asks, "You expect trouble tomorrow?"

"Not really. But, if word gets out, we're screwed; no matter how much staff I put around the place."

"That's why the express rush on the ceremony?"

"Partly. But…you've met my fiancée, right?"

Elliot laughs and says, "Yeah, she's good enough reason to be in a hurry." They're quiet for a while and then he adds, "Thanks, bro. Kate says you've been making an effort to be civil to her?"

With a knowing smile, Christian says, "Now what made your mind leap from marriage to Kate?"

He's shocked to see his brother actually blush, and then Elliot snarls, "Fuck off."

Christian chuckles and says, "Well, she's not my type, but Kate's been…_is_, a good friend to Ana, so she's got my vote."

Still fuming slightly, Elliot says, "I wasn't asking your opinion."

Smirking, Christian says, "Of course not." As they approach Seattle, he asks Elliot, "So, where are we going?"

"You're the one getting married. What are you in the mood for?"

"Other than fucking my fiancée? I guess music and booze could work."

"Not even a strip club, little brother? Déjà Vu Showgirls isn't too shabby." When Christian only glares at him, Elliot says, "Okay, okay. Uh, Triple Door should meet your requirements. We could get one of the private suites and swill down quality wine while listening to local talent."

Christian says only, "Ryan?"

"Yes, sir; The Triple Door. I know it."

Christian then says to Elliot, "Call ahead. I've no interest in sitting with a bunch of strangers."

Elliot makes the call and then says, "Are you going to sulk all night? Because I might as well go home if you're going to get quietly pissed with _that_ look on your face."

Getting out his own phone, Christian forces a smile and says, "You're right. But, if we're going to really make a scene, we need some help."

He dials Brit and is greeted with, "Chris! Please tell me you're ringing because you've decided on an impromptu bachelor party?"

Christian laughs and says, "Yeah, I guess I have. How soon can you get to The Triple Door?"

"Only minutes away, dear boy. But I demand recompense."

"Like what?"

"That I choose the next venue when we get thrown out."

Christian laughs and says, "Leo, I could buy the place. They're not going to throw me out. How about you choose the next venue when I'm drunk enough to let you?"

"Deal. I'll be there in ten."

Christian puts away his phone and says to Elliot, "Looks like we'll finish the night at a gay bar." At Elliot's look, he adds, "Don't worry; we'll be too drunk by then to care."

* * *

Ana worries about Christian after all; so much that, as people are fading away to bed, Ray asks, "Okay, sweetheart?"

Touching his arm in reassurance, Ana says, "I'm fine, Dad. Just…Christian really wasn't keen on leaving."

"But he's with his brother and a bodyguard?"

Ana smiles, realizing that he's right, and says, "Yes, he is. Thanks, Dad. They won't let him get into too much trouble, will they?"

With a shrug, Ray says, "Well, the brother should keep an eye on him, and the bodyguard definitely will. He'll be fine. And you should get some sleep; possibly a big day tomorrow."

Ana readily embraces him, saying, "I'm glad you're here. Thanks, for being okay with it. I know it can't be easy for you to share a house with Mom and Bob."

Ray hugs her tight and then says, with a grin, "Well, it's a big house, and the Greys have been kind enough to put us far apart. I'll see you in the morning, Annie. Sleep sweet."

"Night, Dad."

Having managed to persuade Kate that she'll be fine alone, and receiving permission from Grace to spend the night in Christian's room, Ana gets ready for bed and into the darling, silk pajamas that he bought her. Despite these precautions, she doesn't sleep well and is often awake during the night. It's during one of these periods of wakefulness that she hears something outside her window. At first only curious, she quickly moves to terrified on hearing someone grunting with effort as they clamber up to the room. Only a moment later, she recognizes the hissed expletive and smiles, knowing that Christian is again breaking into his bedroom.

Crossing to the window, she unlocks and opens it to see his unruly hair below her, shining in the bright moonlight, and she whispers, "Christian, what the fuck are you doing?"

He falters and almost falls, then looks up and says, "What the fuck are _you_ doing? S'my room."

Smiling, Ana shakes her head and reaches down to offer a helping hand. The two of them manage to get him over the sill, where they then collapse in a heap on the floor. Quickly recovering, Christian pins Ana beneath him and says, "I missed you."

Ana tries to push him away from her face as she says, "Christian, you're drunk."

Just then harsh light floods the room as Prescott appears, one hand on her holstered sidearm. On seeing that the intruder is Christian, she immediately relaxes, but still asks, "Ma'am?"

Feeling a giggling fit threatening, Ana puts a hand over Christian's mouth to forestall whatever rude comment he's about to make, and then she somehow manages to keep a straight face long enough to gasp, "I'm fine, thank you. But leave the light on, if you would."

With only a nod, and perhaps the hint of a smile, Prescott leaves them to it. The door isn't quite shut when Christian starts kissing Ana's palm, and he murmurs, "Mmm…tastes good."

Her body already responding to the feel of his lips and tongue against her skin, Ana removes her hand as if stung, only then noticing the small cut on his slightly swollen lip. Gently touching her fingertips to the wound, she says, "Oh, darling, what have you done?"

Shrugging it off, Christian says, "S'nothing." One hand lazily searching for a way inside her pajama pants, he continues, "Now, let's see what surprise you're hiding down here."

Hoping that he's sober enough to hear reason, Ana knows better than to struggle and precisely articulates, "Christian, I don't want this."

It's enough to bring him to a standstill. With apparent effort, he focusses on her face and asks, "Why the fuck not?"

Relieved that he's sober enough for conversation, Ana says, "Well, first of all, Mr. Grey, you're not that sexy right now. Second; you promised to leave me alone for one night, while I decide whether or not to marry you tomorrow. Do you honestly think this behavior will persuade me?"

Wondering if she'll ever get tired of it, Ana watches as several emotions play out across Christian's face. And then he rolls off her and lies on his back, one arm draped over his eyes as he says, "Fine. But it's today, now."

Lifting herself up onto one elbow, Ana glances at the clock, to see 4:25 staring back at her. And then, just like that, Ana knows that she's made her decision, and says, "Okay."

Christian stills and, without moving his arm, asks, "Okay?"

Smiling at his trepidation, Ana says, "Okay, I'll marry you this afternoon."

Apparently suddenly sober, Christian removes his arm to look at her and his expression is one of naked need when he asks, "Truly?"

Her chest aching with love for her lost, little boy, Ana nods once and says, "Truly."

Frowning in confusion, Christian then asks, "Why?"

Ana's joyful laughter bursts from her, and then she says, "An excellent question, Mr. Grey. I presume it has something to do with the fact that I love you and cannot even imagine a life without you. No amount of time will change how I feel about you, Christian, so it might as well be today." When Christian's gaze immediately darkens with lascivious intent, Ana holds up a hand in warning and says, "But I still don't want to fuck while you're this drunk."

Just for a moment, anger flares in Christian's eyes, but then he smiles and says, "Fair enough. But you owe me two, tonight."

Ana laughs again and moves into his embrace as she says, "That, I can do."

Nervous about hurting him, Ana almost touches his injured lip and asks, "What happened?"

"Leo."

Confused, Ana asks, "Brit punched you?"

Christian barks a laugh and says, "Unlikely. No, he plied me with a disgusting concoction pretending to be a martini, but tasting like cranberry juice, and dared me to attempt the stripper pole."

"You were at a strip club?"

"I'm not sure what it was, except that we walked past several queers to reach the private booth."

"How did you and a stripper pole equal cut lip?"

"I, uh, tried some upside down trick that I'd seen once…was going okay until Elliot bellowed that I should show 'em my tits." With a shrug, Christian concludes, "I laughed so hard that I lost my grip."

Struggling to contain her mirth, Ana asks, "Are you going to remember this in the morning?"

With a grimace, Christian says, "I'm afraid so, thanks to promising you that I'd only get moderately drunk. And, I told you, it _is_ morning."

Levering herself up, Ana says, "Not morning enough. Let's go to bed. Leave your shirt and boxers on."

Grinning, as he removes his shoes, Christian says, "Don't trust yourself, Miss Steele?"

Still feeling a constant urge to just burst out laughing, Ana says, "Where you're concerned? No. You clearly remove all rational thought from my mind, or we wouldn't be having this discussion on your bedroom floor."

"Why _are_ you in my room? I thought you were sleeping with Kate."

"You didn't know I was here?"

Shaking his head, Christian says, "How could I? After dismissing Ryan, I headed round the house to climb in, so I wouldn't disturb anyone." And then he adds, "Sorry."

"For breaking into your own room?"

Appearing genuinely contrite, Christian explains, "For not leaving you alone like I promised, but I couldn't sleep at Escala; it's too far from you, and I had no idea you were in here."

Suddenly overwhelmed with need for him, Ana starts unbuttoning her pajama top, reveling in Christian's immediate, rapt attention. He's spellbound, lips parted slightly with the effort of fuelling his body by the time she reaches the last button. Just as hypnotized by his reaction, Ana smiles and lets the silk fall to the floor as she declares, "Last one undressed has to turn off the light."


	37. Chapter 37

On the Rocks: Chapter Thirty-seven

When Ana wakes, she's again alone in Christian's bed. A glance at the clock shows that it's not yet eight. She shakes her head at the fact that he could only have had a few hours' sleep, and then smiles as she remembers his boyish excitement on seeing the love-heart of trimmed hair between her legs. Soon after that, the boy vanished and only the passionate man had remained. At first intent on keeping the noise of their love-making to a minimum in his parents' house, Ana had eventually forgotten all but the two of them as they celebrated their love for each other one last time before the wedding.

Almost leaping out of bed, Ana finds some suitable clothes in the bags of choice that Christian bought yesterday and runs her fingers through her hair a few times, subduing it only with a hair-tie before going in search of him. He's obviously been busy, because everyone she meets congratulates her on deciding to get married today. Carla, Bob, Ray, Grace and Carrick all wish her well. But none of them know where Christian is, so Ana excuses herself to look for him outside.

Standing on the flagstones, the slight chill of the morning air raising bumps on her bare arms, Ana hears the unmistakable sound of an axe splitting wood and, smiling, heads in that direction. Sure enough, Christian is hard at work, dressed in jeans and a t-shirt, turning cross-sections of logs into manageable pieces. Watching his progress is an older man, who periodically removes the pipe from his mouth to speak. Ana knows that this must be the gardener who was so good to Christian when he was a child, and automatically waves a greeting to him as she approaches. He says something to Christian, who imbeds the axe in the stump before him and then turns to her with a smile on his face.

Suddenly worried that she's intruding, Ana's footsteps slow a little. The old man says something that Ana recognizes as French, but does not understand. Without taking his eyes from Ana, Christian says to him, "En anglais, s'il vous plait."

The man stands as she nears them and offers a small bow in greeting before saying, with only a slight accent, "Pardon me, Miss Steele, I was only telling Master…sorry, _Christian_, that he did not exaggerate when he said that you are beautiful."

Grinning at her embarrassment, Christian says, "Ana, this is Monsieur Bangard." Taking Ana's hand, he then says, "Monsieur, this is my fiancée, Anastasia Steele; soon to be my wife."

Mr. Bangard accepts Ana's outstretched hand and bows again as he says, "Armand, please. It's a pleasure to meet you."

Thrilled to meet someone who's had such a positive impact on Christian, Ana says, "I'm so glad to meet you. Thank you, for being so kind to Christian while he lived here."

Smiling at Christian with an almost paternal pride, Armand says, "He was a good boy, and I can see that he is a good man." Looking back at Ana, he continues, "I'm glad he found you."

Drawing Ana against his side with one arm, Christian says, "Actually, she found me; literally fell at my feet."

Armand laughs and says, "Then I'm glad you had the good manners and sense to help her up."

At first wondering how Armand could know that, Ana realizes in almost the same instant that she wouldn't be here now if Christian hadn't offered his assistance that day. Smiling, she says, "Yet, still, he insists that I'm graceful."

Serious now, Armand says, "Mademoiselle, you are."

Surprised, Ana looks up at Christian to see only a smug grin beaming back at her, so she pokes that ticklish spot on his ribs and says, "Yes, you said."

Smiling over both of them as a benediction, Armand says, "Well, I have duties. Congratulations, to you both."

With a friendly yet deferent politeness, he bids them goodbye. When he's gone, Ana says to Christian, "Am I ever going to wake up next to you?"

Christian laughs and kisses her, then says, "Sorry, babe. I had to set the wedding wheels in motion. This place is going to erupt with activity in less than an hour." And then he nervously reveals, "And, slight bad news; the press have got wind of our wedding…well, they suspect, anyway. So there will be some effort to get in here, possibly even choppers overhead. I'm afraid that there's not much to be done about it other than staying inside the house, or under the marquee." And then he grins and asks, "Have you peeked?"

Shaking her head, Ana says, "Not even a little bit. Can I look now?"

Laughter in his voice, Christian says, "No." He kisses her again and asks, "You're not upset about the press?"

Ana shrugs and says, "If there's nothing to be done about it, there would be little point, right?"

Tucking a tendril of her mostly untamed hair behind one ear, Christian lovingly says, "Right. Thank you."

A little confused, Ana says, "What did you think I was going to do?"

"Uh, nothing, I guess. I just feel like this is my fault. You'd never have this problem if it weren't for me."

Curbing her smile, Ana says, "Oh, I see what you're saying; that I could never, not in an entire lifetime, have become famous as Ana Steele."

Embarrassed, Christian says, "Not what I meant. I just…" And then he grins and says, "You're teasing me."

Unleashing her ready smile, Ana says, "Yes."

Gathering Ana in his arms, Christian says, "If you think that I couldn't find a spot in these grounds secluded enough to spank you, then you're sadly mistaken, Miss Steele."

Her hands trapped against his chest, Ana smiles up at him as she says, "Except that you're not going to punish me."

Touching his nose to hers, Christian murmurs, "Well, I intend to marry you. That might count."

Relishing even that simple contact, Ana says, "I wish we were already married."

Christian grins and says, "Now who's impatient?"

Ana only smiles at that, and then asks, "When am I graceful?"

"Uh, I guess it's when you're very emotional. I've noticed it when you're angry, scared…" Christian grins again and concludes, "Or when you really want me. So, which is it this morning?"

"Well, I'm not angry with you, and I'm no longer afraid, so I guess that I must really want you, Mr. Grey."

After an unsteady breath, Christian asks, "So soon?"

With a shrug, Ana says, "You were pretty cute last night."

With a smile in his eyes, Christian echoes, "Cute?" At Ana's nod, he says, "I thought that you didn't find me sexy when I'm that drunk?"

Smiling her love for him, Ana says, "I lied. You're only slightly less sexy when you're drunk, apologetic, horny and breaking into your parents' house. How many times have you done that, anyway?"

"No idea; enough that, even without your help, I could have found my way into bed without waking anyone…well, other than you, of course."

Ana grins and says, "Except that Prescott made sure the window was locked before letting me sleep in there."

Glancing at Ana's vigilant shadow, standing a respectful distance away, Christian says, "Well, I'm glad she's doing her job. You two getting along okay?"

"As long as she's doing her job, what does it matter?"

"She and Taylor will accompany us when we leave tomorrow."

"Fuck, Christian, even on our honeymoon?"

Unapologetic, Christian says, "Yes, baby. There's even more reason now that the press are an immediate concern."

By now familiar with that authoritative tone of voice, Ana sighs and says, "Okay." And then she asks, "What time are we leaving?"

"Afternoon. You worried about that reporter?"

"Not a…never mind. Yes. I promised that I'd see her in the morning."

"Taken care of, babe. Wintershoven will find her a place at Grey's Publishing."

Glaring at him, Ana asks, "Did you do that on purpose; remind me that I own a company?"

With a bemused grin, Christian says, "That's its name, Ana."

Determined not to let anything upset her on their wedding day, Ana simply asks, "So, what happens today?"

His expression wary, Christian says, "Uh, the schedule will have been emailed to you by now. I was hoping that you'd be able to get ready at Escala and make an entrance in a limousine. But, with word out, we've decided that it's best if you and I stay here. The house is big enough that everyone can get ready without violating tradition enough to freak out our parents. If that's okay with you?"

Smiling at the concession, Ana says, "It's fine, Christian."

When she can't help a tremor at the cold, Christian says, "Time to go in." He picks up his jacket and, standing before her, drapes it around Ana's shoulders. Pulling the sides together, effectively imprisoning her, he then says, "I love you, Anastasia."

Wondering what it says about her, but too scared to look closely at the answer, Ana's concerns melt away at his restrictive embrace, and she asks, "How sore is your lip?"

Keeping her cocooned in his jacket, Christian gently brushes his lips against hers. When she leans into the kiss, he pulls back just out of her reach and cautions, "Ana."

With a groan, Ana complains, "Christian, you _do_ know we have a wedding to prepare for, right?"

"Exactly. If I let you take this too far, we'll end up fucking again, and we simply don't have time."

"Nothing at all to do with your need to be in control?"

Entwining one hand in her hair, Christian immobilizes her completely and says "Nope," before kissing her again.

When Christian finally lifts his head, Ana notices a fresh blood smear on his bottom lip. With a faint, metallic taste on her tongue, she knows that there must be a mirroring crimson on her lip, and tests this theory with the tip of her tongue. Christian's sharp intake of breath surprises and excites her, even as she tastes his blood and realizes that she likes it. Struggling to understand this revelation when all she wants to do is lick his wound clean, Ana finally comprehends something and says, "That's why no acts involving blood; you're worried that it might go too far."

His expression dark and unreadable, Christian releases her as he reveals, "With them, yes. With you, I feel a genuine reluctance to mar your perfection. When you cut your foot, all I felt was distress that it was partly my fault." Ana is still lost in thought when he asks, "You okay?"

"Huh? Yeah. I'm just…sometimes I get worried that, if I hadn't been a virgin when we met, I would have ended up as one of your ex subs. But…I really am different in your eyes, aren't I?"

Shaking his head in bewilderment, Christian says, "How can you even doubt that? What we have is so different that it almost doesn't compare."

Smiling a little, Ana says, "And I would know that because…?"

Comprehension lights his eyes and Christian again embraces her as he says, "I'm sorry, babe. I had no idea you harbored this fear." With a deep, trembling sigh, he explains, "It was your eyes. Then it was your courage, intelligence, strength, wit, vivacity, talent and countless other, little things that make me fall in love with you every, single day." With a grin, he continues, "Of course, it doesn't hurt that you are smoking hot and took to sex like a duck to water. Any of the women I've been with may have had one, or even some of those qualities, but you are the whole package and the only woman I could ever imagine marrying." When Ana's only response it to stare up at him with tears in her eyes, Christian smiles and asks, "Can we have breakfast now?"

Dabbing her eyes on his sleeve, Ana meekly says, "Yes, please. Oh, but clean your lip."

Christian does so and then claims Ana's hand to head inside. As they near Prescott, they can see that she's receiving a message via the subtle two-way radio all the security staff are wearing today, and she says, "Sir, trouble at the gate. Also, Sawyer is here, so…?"

"Trouble?"

Ana's blood goes cold when Prescott answers, "A Ms. Lincoln is trying to gain entrance, but she's not on the list."

Christian only nods and says, "Okay, I'll take care of it. Go, get some rest. Thank you." With only a nod, the weary security officer leaves them. Christian looks at Ana and asks, "I'm guessing; battle?"

She knows that he's talking about Elena attending their wedding and declares, "Armageddon."

"And, if I make sure Elena doesn't crash the party, I can uninvite the photographer?"

"You know very well that his name is José. And it's not the same thing at all, Christian; he didn't abuse me."

His expression dark with remembered anger, Christian says, "No, because I got there in time."

Becoming more uncomfortable every second, Ana says, "You don't know that. He's been a very good friend to me. I know he got out of hand that night, but he's apologized profusely since then, and there's no way he would have let it get further than it did." With a shrug, she adds, "Besides, how else can we have someone photograph our wedding without worrying if they'll sell the pics to the highest bidder?"

Christian relaxes and says, "Yes, I guess you're right. But I don't have to like it." And then he kisses her forehead and says, "Start on breakfast. I won't be long."

Her blood hot with anger at the thought of him even speaking with that woman, Ana says, "Want me to take care of her?"

With a grin, Christian says, "Thanks for the thought, babe, but I don't think we need a cat fight in front of the reporters."

In earnest, Ana declares, "I wasn't planning on giving her a chance to fight back."

Gently touching his lips to hers, Christian then says, "You're wonderful, and I love your hair like this."

Unable to stop herself self-consciously touching her hair, Ana asks, "Unbrushed and unwashed?"

His tone warm, Christian says, "Exactly; you're like a wild thing just now with the anger in your eyes…very sexy." Sawyer meets them before they get to the door and Christian releases Ana as he says, "Ten minutes; tops."

Ana hands Christian his jacket and heads for the kitchen as he makes his way through the house.

* * *

Feeling suddenly weary, his head still pounding as a side effect of last night, Christian makes his way towards the security cordon at the front gate and Elena's waiting limousine, currently prevented from entering by the armed security guards standing in front of it. Ignoring the nearby reporters screaming his name, but noting with satisfaction that they're now also held at bay by local police, he opens the rear door of the limousine and climbs inside to sit opposite her, and then he asks, "Elena, what are you doing here?"

Apparently intent on playing dumb, she says, "Can't I visit my dear friend, Grace?"

Christian shakes his head and says, "Innocence is not a good look on you. And you can't visit today. You'll have to leave."

Studying him for a moment, Elena then says, "You're not the marrying type, Christian."

Already tired of the conversation, Christian says, "I am today. And you still have to leave."

His hand is on the door handle to exit when Elena grabs his arm and says, "She can't make you happy, Christian, not long-term. You need more."

Staring at her hand until she removes it, Christian then says, "She _is_ more, Elena. Until I met Anastasia, I didn't even know that I had only ever settled for less." He notices the sudden hurt in her eyes, but can't make himself care, and opens the door as he says, "I'll pass on your greeting to my mother and explain that you'll visit her another time. Bye, Elena."

Christian carefully avoids slamming the door, and then instructs the nearest guard, "See them safely out. And, if that woman makes it to the house, you're fired."

He knows that his orders will be obeyed to the letter when the man almost stands to attention and says only, "Yes, sir."

On the way back to the house, Christian notices a curtain fluttering slightly in one of the living room windows and catches a glimpse of unruly, brown hair. Hiding his smile, he makes his way to the kitchen, to find Ana "innocently" preparing her breakfast, and she asks, "How did it go?"

Embracing her, Christian says, "One of my favorite things about you, Anastasia, is that you're terrible at deception. You already know how it went. I sat with Elena long enough to make it clear that she's not welcome, and then she left."

With no trace of guilt in her expression, Ana says, "Okay, so I peeked. I was worried that you might need backup."

Reaching around to almost gently smack her butt, Christian says, "Again with the lying? Maybe I should rethink this whole marriage thing."

Beaming up at him, Ana says, "If that's what you want, Mr. Grey."

Suddenly recalling the sight of Ana tentatively tasting his blood on her lip, Christian's dick comes to life and he murmurs, "I think you know what I want, Miss Steele."

He's answering her unspoken plea to be kissed when Kate's voice loudly complains, "For fuck's sake, Grey, can't you leave her alone even for two seconds?"

Looking only at Ana, Christian answers, "Yes, I can." And then he releases her and says to Kate, "Morning, Miss Kavanagh. Is my brother alive?"

Scowling, Kate says, "Apparently just barely. What did you do to him last night?"

"Other than finally giving in to his demands that we go out, and then depositing him safely at his apartment afterwards, nothing." And then Christian gestures to the row of bain maries and says, "There's a hot breakfast available if you'd care for it, or the refrigerator and pantry are stocked if you'd prefer something simpler."

Kate only grunts her thanks before investigating the options. The three of them enjoy a companionable meal, the only excitement being when Kate finds a newspaper article about the wedding and reads out, "Is Seattle's most eligible bachelor off the market?"

Still worried how she'll cope with the publicity, Christian is reassured when Ana only laughs and declares, "Yes!"

They're still eating when Sawyer receives a message through his earpiece and then says, "Sir, the wedding planner has arrived."

With a sigh, Christian replies, "Thanks. Have her meet me out back." And then he kisses Ana's cheek and says, "It's about to get busy around here. Natalya will be here after lunch to do your hair and makeup. Come find me before you get changed, okay? Remember, if you go out the back, you might be photographed, and it's a fucking certainty if you step out the front door."

Looking a little nervous, Ana says, "Okay. Thanks, Christian." He's about to kiss her goodbye when she asks, "Oh, where are we sleeping tonight?"

Smiling, because he'd assumed she'd just know, he says, "Home, sweetheart; Escala." When he glances at Kate in silent request, she grins and covers her ears, turning her back slightly. Satisfied that she'll behave, he leans over and whispers to Ana, "And then I'll get to carry you over the threshold of the playroom."

He's surprised and delighted when she blushes and says, "I'd like that."

Wondering how he'll be able to wait that long to again fuck her, Christian stays in control enough to offer Ana an almost chaste parting kiss and then waves at Kate before heading out the back to meet the wedding planner.

When he's gone, Kate says, "I take it from the smoochies and the racket before dawn that the wedding is on?"

Ana blushes down to her toes and shoots a nervous glance at the suddenly preoccupied Sawyer before whispering, "We didn't make that much noise, did we?"

Kate's eyes widen and then she laughs and says, "Fuck, Ana, that was you being quiet? Maybe I've chosen the wrong brother."

Ana smiles and says, "No, I think it's working out just fine. And, yes, the wedding is on."

Kate beams her pleasure at this news and then, with a twinkle in her eye, says, "I'm not surprised. If you can't resist him for one night, how can you resist him for a week?"

Ana again blushes a little and says, "In my defense, he climbed into his bedroom, not knowing I was there, and then apologized for disturbing me, saying that Escala was too far away from me."

Kate laughs and says, "Okay, that is pretty sweet. He does have his moments, doesn't he?" When Ana only smiles and resumes eating, Kate hesitates a second and then asks, "What about the…"

When she then seems to remember that they have an audience, Ana says, "Sawyer knows. And, if we're talking about the same thing, we dispensed with the paperwork a while ago. That's who Christian was. It's not who he is." With a smile, she continues, "Well, not completely, anyway."

Her expression still wary, Kate asks, "But, you're happy?"

So that there won't be any doubt, Ana unleashes a smile like sunshine and says, "That word doesn't begin to describe how good I feel just being with Christian. But, for all intents and purposes, I _am_ happy…rapturously so. I'm likely to explode with happiness when we're married."

Apparently unable to resist teasing her, Kate says, "Sounded like that's what you were doing this morning."

Trying not to smile, Ana says, "Katherine Kavanagh, you're not a nice person."

With a self-satisfied smile, Kate resumes eating her breakfast.

* * *

It's been hours since Ana set sight on Christian, though she's barely had time to miss him with Kate and Mia entertaining her. And then a happy reunion with José when he arrived. Only when Natalya turns up, to start on their hair and makeup, does Ana realize that she'll be married in just a few hours. Asking Natalya to start on the others' first, Ana goes looking for Christian. She spots Taylor, on guard outside Christian's bedroom. On seeing her, he smiles and says, "He crashed." Hand on the door, he adds, "But he told me to let you in."

Suddenly concerned for Christian, Ana says, "Maybe I'd better let him sleep."

Taylor only smiles and opens the door as he repeats, "He _told_ me to let you in."

So Ana knows that Christian is missing her, too. She rests a hand on Taylor's shoulder as she walks past him into the room, saying only, "Thank you."

Christian is asleep on the bed, not having even bothered to remove his shoes. Looking at him, finally at peace in sleep, Ana's heart aches with love for him. As if somehow sensing her presence, he stirs and opens his eyes. The smile that lights his face on seeing her makes her chest ache even more. It really doesn't feel like a choice to obey the gesture when Christian then holds out one hand towards her. Quickly kicking off her shoes, Ana climbs on the bed and nestles against him. Christian kisses her forehead and says, "Hello, bride."

Worming one hand under his t-shirt, to rest her palm against his chest, Ana says, "Hello, groom. I'm glad you slept."

"Yeah, apparently it's not actually possible to run on excitement and caffeine. You about to get changed?"

Ana nods against his shoulder and says, "Soon. Mia's room will be ground zero for our preparations. Oh, José wants a few shots of us getting ready. But he's assured me that there'll be nothing risqué in them. You okay with that?"

"You'll keep Sawyer with you?"

"If that will ease your conscience, yes. He'll want a few of you and…oh, is Carrick still your best man?"

Christian tenses and says, "Why wouldn't he be?"

Worried that she's said something wrong, Ana says, "Oh, it's just…you didn't seem happy with him yesterday, and he looked guilty about something at dinner last night."

Christian then angrily asks, "Did he talk to you?"

Lifting herself up on one elbow to look at him, Ana says, "Sure, but nothing sinister. What's going on, Christian?"

"It's nothing, babe. Don't worry about it."

"Don't worry that, on our wedding day, you're afraid of what your father might say to me?" When her question is met with only Christian's closed off resistance, Ana is surprised how much it hurts when she says, "Carrick doesn't think that I'm good enough for you."

Christian clasps her to him and says, "Oh, no, baby, don't think that. If anything, he thinks you're _too_ good for me. It's just…he thinks like a lawyer, so…"

When Christian doesn't continue and looks embarrassed, Ana works it out and utters, "Oh." After a moment, she says, "I'm sorry, Christian, but that didn't even occur to me. Of course, I'd be happy to sign anything that will put his mind at ease."

Christian shakes his head and says, "No. I told you, the only piece of paper you're signing is the marriage license. Carrick can go fuck himself. No prenup."

With Christian's tone clearly indicating that the subject is closed, Ana tries to put it from her mind as she settles back against him. After a moment she says, "This is still my favorite place in the world."

Christian chuckles and says, "Anastasia, you've not yet seen the world."

Ana smiles and says, "Fair enough; my favorite place in the entire United States, then."

Idly caressing her back, Christian says, "It's my favorite place, too, and I _have_ seen the world. No second thoughts?"

"Probably third and fourth, too. But none of them are nearly enough to put me off the idea. You?"

"No. Marrying you…sometimes it feels like everything that's ever happened to me is so that I can be here with you today."

In awe, Ana says, "Yeah, I know exactly what you mean. I wonder if we'll feel like that about every milestone we share?"

Holding her a little tighter, Christian says, "I hope so." And then, with a small groan of protest, he says, "You'd better go."

Ana lifts her head to smile at him as she says, "Feeling frisky, Mr. Grey?"

Also smiling, Christian says, "No...well, yes, obviously. But it's more that, if you're late, I won't be able to stop myself tearing the fucking place apart looking for you."

Suddenly moving so that she's astride him, Ana says, "I won't be late. But, if I am, I'll be in your sister's room and it will be entirely her fault."

Christian laughs and says, "Yeah, you're probably right." And then he's suddenly serious as he threads his hands through Ana's now washed and brushed hair, pulling her face to his for a kiss. After a while, Ana tries to speak. He permits a fraction of space between them and says, "Yeah, babe?"

Drunk with pleasure, Ana mumbles, "Your lip."

Christian sighs and releases her, saying, "You're right. It wouldn't do to leave blood on you when Brit says we can kiss, would it?" Ana can't help but remember a similar incident only this morning. At the look on her face, Christian huskily says, "You'd better go."

Unrepentant, Ana laughs and says, "Sorry."

As Ana leaves his body and the bed, Christian asks, "Oh, did Brit catch up with you?"

"Yes. He ran through me through the process and we discussed vows. Kate and Mia have been helping me come up with something to say, though I'm a little nervous about that part of it."

Christian stands and takes her hands in his. With a twinkle in his eye, he says, "Just remember the _obey_ part of the vows and everything will be fine."

Ana knows that he doesn't really expect that of her, so she teases, "In all things."

With a groan, Christian says, "This is beginning to feel like the longest day in history."

Smiling at his impatience, Ana says, "Not long now, my darling."

With their sudden need for each other practically crackling in the air, it's Christian who finds the strength to let go of Ana's hands and say, "I'll see you almost soon enough."

Not trusting herself to speak, Ana merely nods and leaves him. Outside the door, Taylor asks, "Everything okay, ma'am?"

Only then noticing the tears, Ana quickly wipes her eyes and says, "Sorry. Too happy not to cry."

With a kind smile, Taylor says, "They say it's good luck."

"Weeping?"

"Yeah, something about tears shed on your wedding day will ensure a happy marriage."

Apparently unable to stop the waterworks, Ana again scrubs at her face as she says, "Just as well, because I'm weeping every hour, on the hour."

With only a moment's hesitation, Taylor embraces her and says, "You'll be fine. Just look at Christian and forget everything else."

Letting herself relax in his arms, Ana says, "I'm glad you're here."

They both jump when the door suddenly opens, Taylor releasing her as if burned. Ana wipes her eyes yet again and looks up at Christian to explain, "Apparently it's good luck if I cry before the ceremony."

His angry reaction on seeing her in another man's arms melting away almost immediately, Christian says, "Then I think you're set." To Taylor, he says, "If you're done manhandling my bride, would you please fetch my father and brother?"

Visibly relieved to get off so easy, Taylor spins on his heel to obey as he says, "Yes, sir."

Concern etched in every line of his face, Christian gently cradles Ana's face in both hands and asks, "Good crying?" When Ana can only manage a nod in reply, he tenderly kisses her cheeks and then her lips before saying, "Only happy tears from now on, okay?"

These words somehow removing her need to cry, Ana beams at him and says, "Yes, Sir."

* * *

Author's note: Aahh! Get married, already! Looks like just one more...I think.


	38. Chapter 38

On the Rocks: Chapter Thirty-eight

With less than an hour to go before the wedding, Ana remembers to be nervous and texts Christian, "Fuck, we're getting married!"

Almost immediately, Christian calls her back and she can hear the laughter in his voice when he says, "Yes, we are. You all right, babe?"

Reassured by the sound of his voice, Ana sighs and says, "I am now. Why the hell do people put themselves through this stress more than once?"

Christian chuckles and says, "No idea. Maybe you could ask your mom?"

Ana laughs and says, "Perhaps not." They're both quiet for a few seconds and then Ana says, "I miss you."

"I miss you too, babe. But we'll see each other real soon."

"Or we could meet right now?"

After a moment, Christian says, "No. That's one of the big ones. I don't want to tempt fate."

"What happened to not being superstitious?"

Ana can imagine his shoulders lifting in embarrassment as Christian hesitates before saying, "Yeah, well, maybe today I am. I don't want to fuck this up."

Amused and moved at how nervous he is, Ana asks, "Will you be waiting for me?"

"Of course I will."

"Then you can't fuck it up, because you're all I need, okay?"

After a moment, Christian says, "Thanks, babe." With a sigh, he continues, "I'd better go. I'll see you outside. And, Ana?"

"Yes, darling?"

"Don't be late. My heart couldn't take it."

Ana recognizes it as a plea and says, "On time or early, I swear. But, if I were late, you'd wait for me?"

"Forever, babe. And tell Kate that now would be a good time."

He abruptly hangs up after this cryptic message. When Ana looks at Kate, it's to see that she's holding out a Tiffany's jewelry box as she says, "Christian thought this might help your last-minute nerves."

There's a tiny card attached to the top. Ana opens it to read, in Christian's handwriting, "Something blue."

Undoing the bow with slightly trembling fingers, Ana opens the box to see diamond and blue sapphire earrings and a matching choker necklace that will work perfectly with the high neckline of her dress. Daring to touch the exquisite set, she says, "They're beautiful, aren't they?"

Smiling at her friend's happiness, Kate says, "Yes, they are."

"How much do you think this cost?"

Kate laughs and says, "Enough that I knew to be terrified of losing it."

Straightening her shoulders, Ana says, "Well, I'd better get used to wearing stuff like this. Help me?"

They've not had long to admire the full effect before Mia enters, saying, "Wow! You should see what my brother has done out there." And then she notices the jewelry and says, without pause, "Oh, my God, they're stunning, Ana. They match your eyes. Christian is going to die. I bet it was shockingly expensive."

When Ana silently pleads with Kate, she says to Mia, "Hey, do you think you could find Ana's father, Ray? It's nearly time to go."

Mia leaps at the chance, saying, "Oh, of course. Be right back."

When she's gone, Ana says to Kate, "Thank you. She's lovely, but I find her…"

When she doesn't immediately continue, Kate suggests, "Exhausting."

Ana giggles and says, "Exactly."

The sudden knock on the door provokes a guilty startle from both of them and then Carla enters. She's barely inside the door when she stops in her tracks and just stares at her daughter for a few seconds. The love shining from her mother's face threatening to test the waterproof quality of her makeup, Ana says, "Mom, please don't cry, or you'll set me off and I don't want to get married looking like a raccoon."

With a deep, calming breath, Carla embraces her daughter and says, "You look beautiful, Annie. I'm so happy for you." To Kate, she says, "Would you please excuse us for just a minute?"

With a glance at Ana to check that it's okay, Kate says, "Uh, sure."

When they're alone, Ana says, "What's wrong, Mom?"

"Nothing, sweetheart. Before things get mad, I just wanted to ask if this is what you really want?"

Relieved that it's nothing to worry about, Ana says, "Yes, Mom. We talked about this earlier. I was nervous about getting married so soon. But I'm sure now; one hundred percent, okay?"

Apparently satisfied, Carla says, "Okay." And then she nervously asks, "Have you got your something borrowed?"

"No, Mom. You said not to."

Still apparently unsure of herself, Carla removes something from her purse and reveals a small, vintage tie pin as she says, "He, uh, couldn't afford a tuxedo, so he wore his only suit." With a shrug, she continues, "I know that Ray is really your dad, but I thought that, just for today, you might need your father as well."

Managing to fill in the gaps in the explanation, Ana says, "My father was wearing this when you were married?" At Carla's nod, Ana breathes through the need to cry and then says only, "Thank you."

Apparently satisfied that it was the right thing to do, Carla's tense expression melts to one of joy. After a moment's discussion, she attaches it to the inside of Ana's left cuff. They're still embracing when Mia returns with Ray, and there are more hugs. Only moments later Kate enters and says only, "Showtime."

* * *

Christian is vaguely aware of Carrick and Elliot's comforting platitudes, but he honestly can't hear the words, because his gyrating stomach, pounding heartbeat and trembling limbs demand all his attention. He knows that Ana won't stand him up. He's never been surer of anything in his life. Still, that terrified little boy he used to be is reminding him that he's not worthy of her; that maybe she'll come to her senses or someone who loves her enough to protect her will have made her see reason and she'll be on her way out of his life. At some point he becomes aware that Brit has said something, so he shakes his head once to indicate that he didn't hear and his friend smiles a little as he says, "Give your watch to Carrick."

Only then does Christian realize that he's been constantly checking the time as the minutes tick down. Mortified that his growing panic is apparently noticeable, Christian pulls the sleeve down over his wrist and straightens his back as he says, "No, I'm good."

With a kind smile, Brit says, "Yes, you are. She'll be here, Chris. Try and relax before you sweat through the tux."

It's enough to make the trembling recede and Christian is about to thank him when the gentle strands of Bach fill the air, and he offers a silent prayer that the pianist doesn't fuck it up. But then his eyes are glued to the now open entrance of the marquee. It seems an interminable amount of time, but can only be a minute or two, when Ana comes into view, escorted by Ray and follow by Kate and Mia. Suddenly nothing else exists for Christian as his bride walks towards him, clad in virginal white, her eyes wide with excitement and a slight flush to her flawless skin. He watches, hypnotized, as her eyes dart around, taking in everything, from the thousands of flowers he's had flown in solely for her benefit, to the stunning ivory grand piano nearby.

Ana returns the smiles of their few guests as she walks towards him, but the gesture appears forced as she nears him and only then does Christian understand that Ana is just as nervous as him. With a trembling, grateful sigh, he relaxes and can't stop himself from taking one step towards her as he offers his hand for the last part of her journey. Now facing each other, Ana almost touches the white iris on his lapel and whispers, "They're my favorite."

Pleased that she's noticed, Christian smiles and says, "I know." He watches in fascination as these two words remove all her fears and then he asks, "Shall we get married?"

With that cheeky grin that encompasses everything he most loves about her, Ana says, "It's about time."

At a gesture from Brit, the music stops and he begins the service. It still slightly rankles when they get to the part where Ray should be giving Ana to him and they've instead chosen the word "blessing", but not enough to put a dent in Christian's happiness. He can't stop himself from glancing at Ana every few seconds as Brit speaks. Once or twice, he sees her shyly peeking back at him, and they quietly smile at each other before returning their attention to the words being spoken over them. Suddenly, Christian realizes that it's time for the vows. He's pleased that his voice holds steady when he proclaims, "I, Christian, accept you, Anastasia, as my lawful wife. I pledge to openly and honestly endeavor to be worthy of that privilege, for as long as you'll permit me. Everything that I am, and all that I possess, I now share with you."

Christian can see that Ana is genuinely moved by his carefully worded reminder of how much power she has over him. She's gazing at him, on the verge of tears, when a gentle prompt from Brit gets her attention and she glances nervously at their joined hands before looking only at Christian to say, "I, Anastasia, accept you, Christian, as my lawful husband. I do so willingly, humbly and gratefully. I am yours, and will remain so, for the rest of my life."

So few words, to contain such promise, such trust. It can't be a mistake that she alludes to ownership, and Christian is almost dizzy with elation at the thought that Ana is seconds away from being legally bound to him. He feels his dick stirring at these tantalizing thoughts and wills himself back to the present before he embarrasses himself. Ana's hint of a smile confirms that she's aware of his arousal. With so many witnesses, there's not much he can do to gain the upper hand. But apparently it's enough to arch one eyebrow, because Ana blushes and lowers her gaze. Warm pleasure floods through him at the thought that, even here, before their friends and family, he can so easily seduce her. He's still lost in pleasant thoughts when he notices that Carrick has passed the rings to Brit, who now offers them on his open booklet. Taking Ana's ornate platinum ring, curved to fit beside the matching engagement ring, Christian can't resist caressing the back of her hand with his thumb, so that her cheeks are flushed again when he says, "Please accept this ring as a symbol of my fidelity." Suddenly moved beyond words, Christian also places a tender, unscripted kiss on the back off her hand.

Ana then picks up Christian's wedding band, seeing it for the first time. She pauses for a second, running her thumb over the hammered surface of the dark-gray, platinum band, and she looks up at him to mouth, "Perfect." And then she mirrors his gesture and words with the ring, even down to the kiss on the back of his hand, her lips quirked in that same, cheeky grin. And then there's nothing left but the "I do" part, and they're already moving into each other's arms when Brit formally announces their union and cheerfully gives them permission to kiss.

The marquee has erupted in congratulations and applause when Christian ends the kiss and he smiles down at Ana's dazed expression before murmuring, "You're mine now, Mrs. Grey."

With a blissful smile, Ana declares, "Christian, I've been yours since I fell at your feet."

Carrick is offering them his congratulations. Christian shakes his father's hand, and then Brit's. Somewhere in the middle of this love fest, Elliot has edged closer to Ana and says "Sister," before sweeping her into his arms and dipping her.

Ana shrieks in outrage and Christian only realizes that he's moving to intercede when he feels Carrick's surprisingly strong grip on his arm. He's shocked enough at this uncharacteristic gesture to hesitate. In that moment, Grace exclaims, "Elliot Franklyn Grey, let her go this instant!"

Without looking up, Elliot says, "I'm owed a kiss. It's tradition."

Ana, laughter in her voice, says, "That's only the best man, Elliot, and you're clearly not him."

With a shrug, Elliot kisses Ana on the cheek and lets her stand, saying, "Oh well, second best man then."

Smacking his arm, Kate says, "Not even close."

Almost ready to throttle his brother, Christian is nevertheless relieved that he didn't make a fool of himself and he says to Carrick, "Thanks, Dad."

With a grin, Carrick releases him, saying, "No problem, son. Will you need restraining when I congratulate her?"

Embarrassed, Christian says, "No. It's just…sometimes Elliot pisses me off."

Beaming, Carrick says, "Well, he's your brother; that's his job."

With a harsh laugh, Christian says, "Yeah, you're right. Thanks, for today."

Christian is shocked to see a hint of tears in his father's eyes when Carrick says, "No, son, thank _you_ for today."

Christian loses sight of Carrick then, and even Ana, when the people who love the newlyweds most envelop them to offer heartfelt congratulations. Even as he responds to them, Christian is left with the image of his adoptive father moved to tears at the sight of his son grown and married.

Things have settled down a little when Christian notices the photographer trying to catch his eye, and he remembers something about him wanting a few photos after the ceremony. He motions Taylor over and leans close enough to be heard above the happy chatter when he says, "Photo op time. Find out where he wants to do it and make sure we've got enough men."

Christian soon finds Ana in the small crowd, chatting to Flynn. When he rests his hand on the small of her back, relishing the feel of the bodice laces beneath his fingers, she turns her head to him with a smile on her face and says, "Hello, husband."

He chastely kisses her and replies, "Hello, wife." And then he says to Flynn, "Photos. Help yourself to the champagne. We'll be back for dinner."

Flynn smiles and says, "I'll see you then." As Christian takes Ana's hand, the therapist cheekily adds, "Remember, Ana, you've got my number if you need me while on your honeymoon."

Ana laughs and says, "I won't."

The photo shoot is a trial, though Christian can tell that Ana's friend really is good at his job, so it will be worth the effort. They're posed in a few places around the grounds, with either the house or the water as a backdrop, and then a few with immediate family. Christian notices Taylor talking into the mike at his sleeve once or twice, so he knows that there are attempts to get to them. But, when he looks at the security officer, his concern is met with a subtle shake of the head, so he knows that there won't be any gatecrashers. It's finally over only because the light is waning.

Glancing at the marquee, Christian can see that the caterers have been busy; the sides of the enormous tent are now open, making the "room" look as if it's surrounded on all sides by floor to ceiling windows framed with white curtains. The garden is festooned with lanterns and colored lights, now winking into existence. And the many gas heaters are poised at a safe distance from the canvas, for when the air gets chilly. The long dining table has been set, complete with the ornate floral decorations; copies of Gretchen's efforts from last night. Ana still has that dreamy, apparently permanent smile on her face when Christian says, "Hungry?"

Her smile widens and she says, "Starving. I forgot to eat lunch." And then she laughs and caresses the sudden frown on his brow with her thumb as she lovingly observes, "Angry Christian."

Of course, it's impossible to stay upset under such ministrations, and Christian's frown melts away as he says, "Not today."

Christian takes Ana's hand to lead her to dinner, but her heels sink into the lawn yet again. She yelps a little in surprise when he suddenly lifts her in his arms. But then immediately relaxes against him, one hand on his chest, and it seems like she's talking about more than being carried when she lovingly breathes, "Thank you."

Wishing that he could just keep going with Ana in his arms, Christian instead deposits her safely on her dining chair. Though not intended as a signal, it's enough that everyone soon finds their seats. Despite being an informal gathering, Christian hadn't been able to dissuade everyone from the idea of congratulatory speeches. Thankfully, Carrick and Kate keep them brief and no one is stupid enough to let Elliot speak.

Christian is watching Ana after the appetizer is served, worried about how little she's had to eat today. She notices his attention and looks right at him as she picks up a piece of smoked salmon with her fingers and bites it. Christian is suddenly transported back to Wednesday night, at her apartment, when they'd not been able to finish dinner before fucking in her bed. Hot pleasure pools in his groin at the memory and he has to swallow past the sudden dryness in his throat. Ana is grinning at him, obviously fully aware of the effect she's having on him. Christian leans over and whispers one word, "Playtime."

Ana's smug look changes to fear and she whispers back, "Not here?"

When Christian only raises an eyebrow, Ana's face reveals her inner battle as she decides whether or not to obey, and then her expression relaxes and she nods once. Awash with gratitude at her faith in him, Christian considers for a moment how best to torment her and then leans close enough that no one can hear him command, "Next time you visit the bathroom, remove your panties and bring them to me."

When Ana's self-satisfied grin returns, Christian wonders what she's plotting, but trusts her to make it fun. When he again arches one eyebrow, Ana retrieves her purse from the table and puts it in her lap. Seconds later Christian feels a scrap of material being passed to him. When he's sure no one can see, he glances down to find an ivory satin and lace thong in his hands. Quickly putting it in his pocket beside his growing erection, he takes a moment to control his body's reaction before whispering to Ana, "When?"

A wide, victorious smile on her face, Ana doesn't even bother to whisper when she reveals, "Just before I joined you."

Realizing that the tiny scrap of material had been in Ana's purse throughout their wedding ceremony, Christian groans and says, "You win this round, Mrs. Grey."

Christian knows that Ana is also remembering Wednesday night when she laughs and says, "Technically, yes. But I don't think there are any losers at this table, Mr. Grey."

Drowning in emotions almost too powerful to contain, Christian tenderly kisses her and says, "I love you, Mrs. Grey. Now eat."

Still smiling slightly, Ana does as bid, saying, "Yes, Sir."

With only one or two minor apparent mishaps, dinner goes well, and Christian stands to offer Ana his hand. With a slight frown of confusion, she accepts, and he says, "Care to dance?"

With a soft smile, Ana says, "I would."

As they make their way to the temporary dance floor anchored to the lawn under the canopy, the pianist starts the intro of the song Christian chose, and he makes a mental note to tip the guy well for his timing. They've done this before, but as they turn together, Christian murmurs, "We should do this more often."

Now almost alone for the first time in hours, Ana smiles and quietly says, "We're always too busy fucking."

Christian smiles and says, "Well, it's hard to feel bad about that."

Ana smiles and then, after a moment, says, "What's this song?"

It's obvious she likes it, so Christian warmly says, "Forever I do."

"Appropriate."

"I thought so." And then he remembers the scrap of material in his pocket and says, "So, when did you come up with the sans underwear plan?"

Blushing a little, making Christian wonder if she'd forgotten, Ana says, "Uh, about ten seconds before I walked out here."

Pulling her close enough that she'll be in no doubt of his arousal, Christian leans his cheek against her temple and gently declares, "Anastasia, you're magnificent." And then he realizes something and says, "That's why you were so upset when Elliot dipped you?"

Ana laughs and says, "Yeah. I hope I didn't scare you?"

Christian chuckles and says, "Only a little. Dad kept me from ripping Elliot's throat out." They're quiet for a while as they move together, and then Christian groans and Ana asks, "Your ankle?"

"No, babe, it's fine. I just remembered that you're sporting a love heart pointing the way to pleasure and it's currently exposed to the air. When the fuck can we leave?"

Ana laughs and says, "Not for a while yet. There'll be more dancing and then we have to cut the cake. I think any time after that wouldn't be too impolite. And I thought that you're a big fan of anticipation?"

With a shrug, Christian says, "Yeah, well, even I have limits."

With a grin, Ana declares, "Not many." And then she solemnly says, "Thank you, Christian, for making it so perfect. It's almost inconceivable that you could accomplish all this in less than forty-eight hours."

His heart swelling with pride that his efforts have pleased her, Christian tries to keep his hubris from showing when he points out, "Well, I had help."

Ana laughs and says, "You don't do humble very well, do you?"

With a grin, Christian confesses, "Lack of practice."

When the song ends, Carrick is already hovering to ask Ana for the next dance. With a smile, Christian releases her and leaves the floor. Keeping Ana at a respectful distance, Carrick says, "You look beautiful, Anastasia."

Ana smiles and says, "You and Christian are probably the only people who use my full name, and thank you."

With a tiny shrug, Carrick says, "It's a lovely name. Carla's choice?"

"Uh, no. I think that was my father's idea…my birth father. Mom said he loved that old movie of the same name."

Carrick nods and says, "With Ingrid Bergman and Yul Brynner; one of Grace's favorites. I've been made to sit through it many times." They're quiet for a while and then he suggests, "So, your father was an optimist?"

The dance floor is filling up as Ana says, "Uh, I've no idea. Why do you say that?"

"You were named after a Russian princess who was purported to have survived a revolution; the only member of her family to do so. The movie suggested that she not only survived for many years, but also found love."

Ana smiles and says, "I see what you mean."

His voice warm, Carrick says, "It also means that he loved you very much."

Reluctant to get emotional, Ana grins and says, "Or that he was _very_ keen on Ingrid Bergman."

Carrick laughs, a deep, rich sound and then says, "Well, any man my age has been in love with her at some point."

They're again quiet as they move between the other couples, and then Ana quotes, "The poor have only one advantage; they know when they are loved for themselves."

Proving just how smart he is, Carrick winces and says, "He told you. I'm sorry, Ana. I hope you know that I was just…"

Ana interrupts with, "Hey, it's okay. I'm on your side in this. I tried to suggest a prenup, but he won't hear of it." And then she laughs and reveals, "He actually offered me a million dollars, obligation free, when we were only dating. Can you believe it?"

Carrick studies her for a moment, and then says, "Why?"

Ana shrugs and says, "To show how little it meant to him, I think. Uh, we were discussing how much the money freaked me out…God, that was only last Saturday, and he said that the money means nothing to him; even offered to get rid of it, just to ease my fears."

Shaking his head in confusion, Carrick echoes, "Get rid of it?"

Ana laughs and says, "Yeah; you're worried about losing half of his fortune, but I could have made him give it all away." With a shrug, she adds, "Of course, it wouldn't have done any good in the long run; he would have eventually made it all back. I'll just have to get used to it."

Carrick is apparently lost in thought and Ana says, "You okay? I hope I didn't say something wrong?"

Smiling down at her, Carrick says, "No, Anastasia, you said something right. No matter what happens, you won't take his money."

Glad that the matter is apparently settled, Ana vows, "No, I won't."

As the music dies down, Carrick kisses her cheek and says, "Welcome to the family, Princess."

Before her stomach has settled down from the warm feelings generated by Carrick's words, Ana is dancing with Flynn. She smiles at him and says, "Off the clock tonight, I hope?"

He returns her smile and says, "Indeed, though you know that I'm always available for you, Ana."

They both glance at Christian, now dancing with Mia, and Ana quietly says, "So far, so good. I know that a wedding band isn't a cure."

"Wise words, indeed. So many people make that mistake. You and Christian are off to a better start than most, just because you dialogue problems." At Ana's obvious amusement, Flynn asks, "What is it?"

"Sorry. Can't you just say that we talk to each other?"

Smiling, Flynn says, "No. It's a shrink thing."

They finish the dance in similar fashion. Ana dances with a few more people before Christian again finds her, saying, "Having fun, wife."

"I am, though my feet are beginning to complain."

Without a word, Christian adjusts his grip and lifts Ana, holding her against him as they move to the music. Helpless with laughter at his antics, Ana eventually manages to protest, "Put me down, Christian."

Gently letting her feet again touch the ground, Christian smilingly says, "Some people are impossible to please. I hope you're not going to be this difficult all the time, now that we're married?"

Beaming up at him, secure in their love, Ana says, "Only as difficult as you like."

When someone taps her shoulder, Ana glances back to see Brit and he says, "Mind if I cut in?"

Christian magnanimously gestures that Brit can dance with Ana, but she laughs and points out, "Darling, he's talking to me." To Brit, she says, "Assuming he's willing, go ahead; my feet are killing me."

Curious to see how Christian will cope with this unexpected development, Ana hovers nearby for a moment. Christian is staring at Brit, his expression darkly brooding, and then he grins and says, "Fuck it; you're on, but I lead."

Ana thinks that she could have scripted Brit's reply when he says, "My dear boy, I wouldn't have it any other way."

Heading back to her chair, Ana notices Carrick at the table with a concerned gaze centered on Christian and Brit. Wondering just how big a problem it is, she says, "Christian's not gay. You know that, right?"

As if noticing that she's beside him, Carrick says, "Huh? Oh, sorry. It's not that; just…Mr. Hertz made certain claims about Christian…I'm surprised to find that they're friends."

Remembering Brit's explanation for why he encouraged the rumors about Christian being gay, Ana paraphrases, "When I asked Brit about that, he confessed that he did it to mess with the rumormongers who should have known better than to discuss Christian's private life."

Frowning, Carrick says, "Admirable, perhaps, but I don't see how his actions could possibly have helped."

With a shrug, Ana says, "They couldn't have ended the rumors…I doubt they'll stop even now. But knowing that Brit was torturing those gossiping about him would have helped Christian keep his cool."

Ana sees Carrick hear her, and then he says, "I guess so. Thank you, Anastasia."

With a grin, Ana says, "Actually, if you don't mind, I kind of liked being called Princess."

Carrick smiles and says, "Okay, Princess."

When he then leans over and kisses her cheek, Ana smiles and asks, "What's that for?"

With a dazzling smile, Carrick says, "Everything."

Ana is still chatting pleasantly with Carrick when Christian rests his hand on the back of her neck, sending sparks of pleasure through her body, even with the lace between them, and he says, "Time to cut the cake."

His voice is almost a caress and Ana knows that her husband has finally had enough of sharing her with friends and family. After excusing herself from Carrick's presence, she lets Christian lead her to the covered cake. With such a small crowd, all it takes is for the music to die down and everyone returns to their seats. A couple of waiting staff wheel the cake table onto the dance floor, so that everyone has a front seat. The cake is unveiled to reveal what looks like a stack of large books. Surprised, Ana looks at Christian, to see that he's nervously watching her reaction. Ana looks again, to see that there are even titles on the spines; Pride and Prejudice, Jane Eyre, Love in the Time of Cholera, Wuthering Heights, North and South, Dangerous Liaisons, Our Mutual Friend, Rabbi Ben Ezra and The White Company. Her heart swelling with love, she looks at him to say, "Christian, these are all romances."

Smiling his pleasure at her appreciation, Christian says, "So I'm told. The top book is open."

Irrationally nervous about what she might find, Ana clutches Christian's hand as she approaches to see, written in icing, the full quote from Oscar Wilde. One page reads, "Every saint has a past..." with the next page proclaiming, "every sinner has a future."

Actually shocked that Christian would put the last part in writing, her gaze flies to his and she says, "But you don't really believe that."

His face shining with happiness, Christian says, "I do."

It's the second time today that he's said those words, but somehow this time it means even more to Ana and, in an awed whisper, she asks, "Because I married you?"

With their joined hands, Christian picks up the knife as he says, "Yes."

* * *

Author's note: The tunes mentioned are; "Air on the G String"-J. S. Bach (unfortunate name, but, if your heart doesn't swell with love on hearing it, you may not have one) and "Forever I Do"-Bradley Joseph.

Okay, the next chapter is seriously the last. And, bad news; it will be entitled "Epilogue". Before you blast me, I fully intend to return to the characters, but...well, for one thing, they're no longer "On the Rocks", are they? So their tale will continue as separate stories. Thanks, for coming with me. I've enjoyed it.


	39. Chapter 39

Epilogue

With Phoebe finally fed and asleep, Ana returns the baby to her crib. After placing the blanket over her ten-month old daughter, she moves to clip the maternity bra back in place, idly noting that her breasts are showing the effects of nursing a second child. And then she smiles at the thought that Christian doesn't seem to mind her changing body; quite the opposite, in fact. Still smiling slightly at pleasant memories, Ana goes looking for husband and son. They've apparently abandoned the X-box, the controllers of course placed neatly out of sight, and Ana smiles again that Christian is managing to maintain some semblance of neatness in the home of an energetic toddler.

Ana hears sounds coming from Teddy's bedroom, and silently thanks Christian for taking over the occasionally monumental task of getting their active son to take his afternoon nap. It's always worth the effort, though, because they then get to dine as a family in the evening. At three years of age, Teddy is already displaying an aptitude for cooking. That had been a battle, with Christian stubbornly insisting that a kitchen is too dangerous a place for a young child. Of course, Ana wasn't about to risk burning or cutting their son. She'd eventually gotten her way only by permitting Christian to personally supervise Teddy's efforts. Now, when their schedules permit, they prepare dinner as a family and Ana treasures every moment. Letting Christian think that he's won the round, when in fact the end result is exactly what Ana wants, has become the pattern of their marriage.

As she approaches the room, Ana wonders what game they're playing. She can hear Teddy demanding that his father "Guess," and Christian's apparently insufficient attempts to get it right, prompting loud disapproval from their son. Ana's hand covers her mouth to stifle her laughter at her son's authoritative tone; he really is a mini-Christian at times. Peeking around the door, so as not to disturb them, Ana sees that Christian is face down on Teddy's bed, wearing only jeans and socks, with the boy sitting on his father's lower back. Ana's heart threatens to crack under the strain of too much love when she finally understands the rules of the game; Teddy is using the scars on Christian's back to make shapes.

Ana is trembling in an effort to contain her tears at the thought that, when she met Christian, he couldn't bear to be touched and now the visible reminders of the horrific abuse he suffered when only Teddy's age are merely props in their child's game. Perhaps inevitably losing the battle with her emotions, Ana's sob betrays her presence. Teddy looks up and exclaims, "Mommy!" But then he immediately frowns and asks, "Why you crying, Mommy?"

Turning onto his side, capturing Teddy in his arms as he does so, Christian's gaze stays anchored on Ana as he gently explains, "It's okay, buddy, they're happy tears. Mommy is just crying because she loves you very much."

As if his words are permission, Ana's tears really flow. Having inherited his father's empathy, or perhaps his mother's, Teddy is immediately concerned and reaches his arms towards her as he struggles to escape the loving arms around him. But Christian only tightens his grip and, still looking only at Ana, whispers something to the boy. Avid as ever for any attention from his hero, Teddy listens and then loudly declares, "Daddy says that's a silly reason to cry."

In all their time together, Christian has never called Ana's actions _silly_, not even when she deserved it, so she trusts him enough to check her anger and only asks, "Why?"

Teddy eagerly leans towards Christian for the answer. After listening to the next, whispered instruction, their shining boy nods and says, "It's silly 'cos all Mommies love their sons."

At these words, Ana knows that Christian has finally forgiven his birth mother and her weeping begins anew. This time it's Christian who extends his arms towards her. Ana readily climbs onto the bed beside her two men, testing the limits of the king-single. Teddy clings to Ana, still a little upset by her tears. For his sake, she manages to bring herself under control and hushes him, saying, "I'm okay, Teddy. Just too happy not to cry." It's enough to calm the boy and he settles against her, safe between his parents, and quickly falls asleep. After kissing Teddy's hair, Ana looks at Christian, to see the wary expression that indicates he may have gone too far and caused her actual pain. So that he'll know they're okay, she smiles at him and lovingly whispers, "Bastard."

* * *

Author's note: Thank you, for assisting, supporting, critiquing, commenting, favoriting (that a word?) and following. But, most of all, thank you for reading. I'll see you soon.

Author's other note: In case it's avoided your notice, my fic "Pebble Beach" is the sequel for this one, beginning at the end of the wedding reception. I hope you enjoy it.


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